Monthly Archives: October 2013

NaNoWriMo Project Revealed: Infinite DC – Wonder Woman + Basic Rundown of Wonder Woman’s Origins

So, if you’ve been following my Twitter today, I’ve decided to throw my name in the hat and write a story for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo as it’s called. This unfortunately means updates to Birds of Prey: Dark will be a little less common, and What I Bought Today will be pushed to every other week instead, covering what I bought within two weeks of each other. But, comic fans that follow me can rejoice, for I’ve learned that among the MANY forms of literature accepted for NaNoWriMo is Fanfiction. So, for the month of November, I will be aiming to write a 50,000 word fanfiction of a DC Superhero I have never written before. My friends, I give you Infinite DC – Wonder Woman!

Dammit, that needs to be on an album cover. lol

So, what will this story be like? Well, like with Infinite DC- The Man of Tomorrow and Infinite DC – Tales of the Caped Crusader, it won’t be her origin story, instead taking for granted that you know her origins…However, because I know that Wonder Woman’s one of those trickier characters with an often changed back-story due to retcons, reboots, and just different interpretations of the character, here’s the basic rundown of her origins, and get ready to hear me reference changes to it in different continuities A LOT. lol

Wonder Woman, AKA Diana, is the daughter of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons inhabiting Themyscira, an island cut off from the world of man. The Amazons are a group of immortal warrior women that had been slaves at one point (to whom changes depending on continuity, but it’s usually Heracles), but managed to free themselves with help from the Greek Gods and escaped to Themyscira, or Paradise Island as it’s alternatively called. At some point, Hippolyta had a daughter named Diana. The usual story given is that she moulded her from clay and the Gods brought her to life, though in recent years with the 2011 reboot, AKA The New 52, it’s been retconned that this was a lie to protect Diana from Hera’s wrath, as she was actually the bastard child of Hippolyta and Zeus. Now, while I don’t necessarily mind what it does to Diana specifically, making her a demi-goddess, I probably won’t be incorporating THAT into my fanfic version of Wonder Woman since it carried with it some seriously bad changes to her mother and the Amazons in general.

The birth of Diana

Anyway, the point is, they were cut off from the rest of humanity, though they were able to watch from the island, usually through some sort of device or magic or a combination of the two. However, this all changes when a man named Steve Trevor, who works with the US military (be it as an Air Force pilot or an intelligence agent), crash-lands on Themyscira. After it’s determined that Trevor is no threat to them, Hippolyta decides that the greatest among the Amazons will escort him back to America. Thus, a tournament is held, and while Hippolyta forbids Diana from entering, she does so under disguise anyway and is able to emerge victorious. Hippolyta’s reaction changes based on continuity, but the one I like best is probably from the 2009 animated film, where she accepted Diana’s decision and recognizes her as the one best suited for the job.

…Okay, I know Linkara already did this joke, but tell me you don’t hear porno music in the back of your head while reading this. XD

Thus, Diana becomes Wonder Woman, and is granted many gifts to assist in her new role, as Steve Trevor’s escort, as an ambassador for her people, and as a champion against the forces of evil. First, she is given her costume (again, in the movie, it’s supposed to resemble the American flag to honour the land she visits), along with a tiara that doubles as a throwing disc and can grant her some telepathic abilities, a golden lasso that she can use as a whip or noose, and a pair of bracers made from Athena’s indestructible shield that reflect all manner of attacks. In some continuities (specifically the TV show from the 70’s), she could immediately change clothes into her costume by spinning really fast, which I’m SORELY tempted to include here. As for the version of the costume I’ll be going with…Eh, I suppose the classic swimsuit-like costume works best, though probably with the Gladiator-style skirt, a nose-guard on her tiara (which is actually one thing Frank Miller did with Bonkers Betty that I kinda liked), and the ponytail she’s been seen rocking in the upcoming Justice League: War animated movie.

Wonder Woman as seen in Justice League: War

Her other gifts change depending on interpretation, but I’ll be going with the blessings the Greek Gods gave her in the Post-Crisis on Infinite Earths interpretation of the character for the most part: Demeter grants her superhuman strength and rapid healing. Athena imparts great wisdom, intelligence, and tactical skill, both in armed and unarmed combat. Artemis blesses her with enhanced senses far beyond normal humans. Hestia grants her control over the “Fires of Truth”, which not only protects her from flames, be they natural or supernatural, but are also channelled through the Lasso of Truth to reveal a person’s true intentions, make them tell her secrets, or free people from mind control. Hermes gives her great speed, enough to deflect bullets with her bracers, and the power of flight. Finally, Aphrodite bestows great beauty (so if you ever wondered how she can be so hot, you can thank the Goddess of Love, lol) and a seemingly endless amount of compassion for the world and the people around her.

Lastly, Wonder Woman possesses an invisible plane. Again, this is something that changes between continuities. Sometimes, it’s a jet that Batman built her. Sometimes, it’s a pegasus that transforms into a jet. In the movie, the Amazons just kinda had it sitting around with no frigging explanation as to where it came from, which is both a little annoying and funny as hell. Me personally, I kinda like the version where it was a mass of magic, malleable goop that took the form of an invisible jet, or other invisible vehicles and objects if the situation called for it, and was actually self-aware and worked freely alongside Diana. I thought that was really neat, and provided for one of the most awesomely surreal moments you’ll ever see in comics, when she looped it with Green Lantern’s constructs around the moon and all the super-powered heroes PUSHED THE FRAKKING MOON.

Look, it’s Dotted Line Girl! (Infinite geek points to the first person that gets it, ROFL)

But yeah, that’s the basic rundown of the character’s origins. So, what’s my story gonna be about? Not telling, partly because I want it to be a surprise, and admittedly because I’m still going over it in my head. Oh, and the reason I’m not giving it a fancy name based off any nicknames or titles of hers, like The Man of Tomorrow or Tales of the Caped Crusader, I just do not want any confusion as to what this is. Also, I’m not really planning on doing any other solo stories for Wonder Woman, but if I do, I can just call it Infinite DC – Wonder Woman II or something like that.

The first issue of the Post-Crisis Wonder Woman comic

Anyway, wish me luck on this one, and we shall see if I make the 50,000 word minimum by the end of November. Ja né!

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Flareon – Redeemed At Long Last

…Yeah, we all know the joke: Flareon, the Fire-type physical offensive of the Eeveelutions, cannot learn Flare Blitz. In fact, for years now, Flareon has been turned down by many a Trainer due to being a physical attacking Fire-type Pokémon that cannot learn a physical Fire-type move with a base power higher than 65. You can see it everywhere.

And every Generation, I’d be like “Game Freak, let it learn Flare Blitz! It keeps getting rejected! It is probably the most rejected Eeveelution, solely because every Eeveelution is supposed to specialize in something, and Flareon really doesn’t since it can’t learn the moves to best suit its style!” So, what’s the point in all of this? Well, I was cruising through Serebii.net, looking at different move-pools for Pokémon in the new X & Y games, and I was looking at the different Eeveelutions. So, eventually, I decided to check Flareon’s, fully prepared to be disappointed…And then I heard Nightwish in my head over what I saw. 😀

Flareon is trying to learn Flare Blitz, MOTHA FUCKA! XD

Now, do I think this is a huge, game changing event for Pokémon? Obviously not. I’m just glad that Flareon finally has something awesome going for it. And usually, this is where I’d say comment below, see y’all, ja né, and so on, but you know? Screw it, this is too awesome not to end on THIS:

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite John Cena Matches

Poor John Cena. And I really mean that. Here’s a guy that I honestly believe loves the wrestling business, loves to entertain people, and never wants to take a break from doing so. Problem is, his overall ability in the ring is lacking, and while he’s plenty charismatic and one hell of a brawler, his matches often-times leave something to be desired…And yet, people tend to forget that, if called upon to give fans an extremely entertaining roller-coaster ride of a match, more often than not, he can do it. Now, this is not me trying to say he’s the best in the world, because he isn’t. I don’t wanna start a fight with anybody, even though I know just doing this article is opening the floodgates. Still, I feel the need to point out that, while he’s not the greatest wrestler in the world, he’s also not as bad as people think sometimes. So, here’s my 5 Favourite John Cena Matches. Criteria for this one: Singles matches only, different opponent for each one, and he does not need to win. These might not necessarily be his BEST matches, either, they’re just my personal favourites. So, what better way to start than…

#1 – vs. Kurt Angle, Smackdown!, 6/27/2002

Could you ever ask for a better way to make your début match? Kurt Angle had just come off a victory over Hulk Hogan at King of the Ring, making Hogan tap out, and was issuing an open challenge to anyone he’d never wrestled before. After a few seconds of nobody answering the challenge, a kid by the name of John Cena came out and got in the ring, and when Angle asked what quality Cena thought he had that gave him a shot against him, Cena answered “Ruthless Aggression!” before punching Angle out. The match was VERY back and forth, which was VERY impressive for the rookie Cena, but in the end, Angle used his experience and superior mat wrestling style to get the pin. Still, Cena’s position was cemented, and it would NOT be the last time these two would meet face-to-face. I think what I like most about this match, though, is looking back on it after seeing Cena use the same 4-5 moves every match nowadays, and getting to see him actually wrestle here, and wrestle a damned good match against Kurt Angle.

#2 – vs. Rob Van Dam in an Extreme Rules Match, ECW One Night Stand, 6/11/2006

John Cena was the WWE Champion for the better part of a little over a year, and was now walking into an arena of die-hard ECW fans at an ECW Pay-Per-View, going up against Rob Van Dam in a match where ANYTHING goes, and there was that one fan in the audience that had the sign that said “IF CENA WINS, WE RIOT”. So, you pretty much knew, going into the show, that Cena was dropping the belt to RVD. What you didn’t really take into account was how hard Cena was gonna make it for Mr. Monday Night. Not to take away from RVD’s performance, in fact far from it, just saying that Cena pretty much brought it to the Whole Fuckin’ Show and the ECW audience at One Night Stand and made Rob Van Dam earn the belt. My one complaint is that the involvement of Edge and Paul Heyman kind of tainted to Rob’s win a little bit. Didn’t need it.

#3 – vs. Umaga in a Last Man Standing Match, Royal Rumble, 1/28/2007

I always look at this match as redemption through pain for John Cena. Cena had been WWE Champion on and off for the better part of two years, winning most of his matches with the same 4-5 moves chained together, and people were getting pretty sick of it. Then came the 350 pound Samoan Bulldozer, the late Edward Fatu, known then as Umaga. Up until their match at New Year’s Revolution, Umaga had never been pinned. However, after a roll-up victory out of nowhere in their match that night, Umaga’s winning streak was ended, leading to Umaga seeking revenge against the WWE Champion at the Royal Rumble in a Last Man Standing Match. And I’m just gonna say this here, these two pretty much beat the shit out of each other. Cena was bleeding all over the place, Umaga was smacked around in ways he’d never had done to him before, they went crashing through tables and steel stairs, it was just BRUTAL, and the finish to the match, while it might be considered somewhat cheap by some, I felt was a decent end that made both Cena and Umaga look strong.

#4 – vs. Shawn Michaels, RAW, 4/23/2007

This one’s actually got a little bit of a funny story behind it. They were overseas for an episode of RAW, and they had two things planned for the second half of the show: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels, and something to do with Randy Orton, and I honestly forget what it was, but something happened and Randy Orton couldn’t be there. So what ended up happening was that Shawn Michaels and John Cena went out there and wrestled for an hour. With the exception of Iron Man matches, a one hour match is virtually unheard of in WWE in today’s day and age. And it was actually a REALLY good match. I daresay it may even be better than Michaels’ Iron Man match with Bret Hart. And while Cena didn’t win, he hung with HBK for an hour. You don’t have to win at that point. lol My one complaint about this match: It took place on a live, televised episode of RAW with extremely little build up, while their PPV match at Wrestlemania 23 was kinda lacklustre. And speaking of one hour Iron Man matches…

#5 – vs. Randy Orton in an Iron Man Match, Bragging Rights, 10/25/2009

Randy Orton vs. John Cena, or as The Spoony One likes to it, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” XD Admittedly, Cena and Orton have wrestled WAY too many times, but I think this is the best one, is when they went one hour in an Iron Man match. The one thing that stands out the most in this match was the fact that Orton tried to BLOW UP John Cena with the pyrotechnics on the stage. And then they tried to turn him face for a few years…I don’t get it. lol The one problem I have with this match is that they had to stop it for a few moments for blood, which was a thing they did sometimes. I’m not sure if they still do that, but it got rather annoying. I would just as soon prefer there be no blood spots in wrestling than to have a blood spot that interrupts a match, you know what I mean?

So, those are my favourite Cena matches. Got one that’s not up here? Feel free to suggest it in the comments sections. All I ask, PLEASE don’t turn the comments section into an argument. I’m not asking you to like John Cena, just please, please, PLEASE do not start flaming each other if you disagree on him. Ja né!

Taking Requests For DC Team-Up Fics + Last Chance To Vote on Fanfic Universe Name (FEEDBACK REQUESTED)

So, remember a while back when I talked about What I’d Do Instead of Superman/Wonder Woman? Y’know, the random crossover book? Well, having FINALLY written Will & Hope, I’ve decided that I’m going to start taking requests from people to do crossover team-up fics of various DC superheroes. Basically, you post a request on here or in the comments for my fanfics, listing 2-3 heroes and 2-3 of their villains, and provided I like the idea of the team-up and it works within the canon of my fics, I will give it an honest shot.

Just as examples, you could ask for something like Wonder Woman and Batman taking on Cheetah and Bane, Robin and Raven battling Harley Quinn and one of the Sons of Trigon, Superman and John Stewart fighting Atomic Skull and Atrocitus, whatever. You don’t HAVE to post a plot idea if you don’t want to, but I suppose it could help. One thing I do ask, or rather recommend if you want better odds of me agreeing to do it, is that you list characters that have appeared in my fics thus far, the heroes at least. I’ll probably post a list of characters that have appeared thus far in my Fanfiction.net profile, (which is J.A.Phillips, btw), but for now, here’s a list of heroes and villains that have appeared or been referenced to thus far, more or less in order of appearance.

Heroes: Batman (Bruce Wayne), Robin, Martian Manhunter, Batman (Thomas Wayne), Superman, Supergirl/Power Girl, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, Black Canary (Dinah Laurel Lance), Raven, Huntress, Batwoman, Batgirl/Oracle, Green Arrow, Black Canary (Dinah Drake-Lance), The Flash (Wally West), Green Lantern (John Stewart), The Flash (Jay Garrick), Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)

Villains: Tony Zucco, Copperhead (female version from Arkham Origins), Rupert Thorne, Lew Moxon, Carmine Falcone, Gillian Loeb, Victor Zsasz, Manchester Black, Lex Luthor, Plasmus, Atomic Skull, Magpie, Baud, Dyna-mind, Parasite, Solomon Grundy, Toyman, The Joker, Firebug, The Riddler, The Jokerz, John Corben/Metallo, Nasthalthia Luthor, Bizarro, Jared, Trigon, Omerta the Silencer, Aquarius, Bleez, Atrocitus, Sinestro, Weather Wizard, Volcana, Dex-Starr

All of that aside, I’ve decided that, starting with my upcoming Justice League fanfic, I will be listing all of my fanfiction under a name for my fan-made universe. So, with that said, this is the last opportunity to vote on the name: Either Earth 52, so named for being the reality that doesn’t exist in the comics, or Infinite DC, named after Ultimate Marvel and for being influenced by the events of an infinite number of other comics, TV shows, movies, and so on.

Anyway, if you have a request for a team-up, post it below, and I shall see what I can do for you in the future. Ja né!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite Joker Quotes

…You saw the title. These are my 5 Favourite Quotes of The Joker. Keep in mind, these aren’t in any specific order, and come from many different interpretations of the character, including the comics, the TV shows, the movies, and the video games, which inevitably means this includes spoilers for anything they come from. So, let’s not wait any longer and send in the clowns with the first up to bat (no pun intended)…

#1 – “What the heck, I’ll laugh anyway” from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

This is the scene where Joker reveals exactly what he did to Robin, in horrific detail, via a home movie style video. But the great quote for me is what comes near the end of it, when he finally presses one of the last buttons Batman has…

“You would’ve been proud to see him so strong – but all too soon, the serums and the shocks took their toll…and the dear lad began to share such secrets with me. Secrets that are mine alone to know… Bruce. It’s true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarang, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic…Oh, what the heck, I’ll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HAA!”

#2 – “Madness is the emergency exit” from Batman: The Killing Joke

This quote comes from when Joker has Commissioner Gordon held captive on a ride with photos of Barbara Gordon displayed from when she was shot and stripped naked, all just to try to break the Commish, and…Well, I’m gonna let Troy Baker field this one.

#3 – “It’s not even breakfast” from Batman: Arkham City

In the climax of Arkham City…Well, Joker will explain in a bit, but he’s done a shit-ton of horrible stuff. But what caps it all off is this one exchange between him and Batman over the cure for Joker’s fatal ailment, where they pretty much spell out the nature of their encounters…

“Quick, the cure! What are you waiting for? Come on! I killed your girlfriend, poisoned Gotham, and hell, it’s not even breakfast! But so what? We all know you’ll save me.” “…Every decision you’ve ever made ends in death and misery. People die. I stop you…You’ll just break out and do it again.” “Heheheh…Think of it as a running gag!”

#4 – “Why so serious?” from The Dark Knight

…Because how could I not include this? The thing is, you gotta figure this quote plus the completely contradictory quote later on indicates one of two things: Either The Joker is completely insane and doesn’t remember how he got his scars, referencing back to The Killing Joke and how he remembered his origins slightly different from day-to-day, or he’s a liar and his explanations are mere parody at such simplistic reasons for what he does.

“Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker…and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not…one…bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, ‘Why so serious?’ He comes at me with the knife — ‘Why so serious?!’ Sticks the blade in my mouth — ‘Let’s put a smile on that face!’ And… why so serious?”

#5 – “April fools!” from Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

…Again, I think I’m gonna let someone else take this one. Here’s a 3D animation done by jwhit3d to the voice acting of Pgirts, with a little bit of Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin at the end from Batman: The Animated Series for flavour. 😀

So, those are my 5 Favourite Joker Quotes. Got one that’s not on here? Feel free to post it below in the comments, and let’s see about doing this again soon for more comic book characters. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Talon #12 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So, I went to Heroes’ Beacon today, and you know what that means. It’s time to look at…

What I Bought Today

Only one comic this week, so let’s get right to it. Here is Talon #12.

…Yeah, cover’s kind of a lie. Batman and Talon don’t come to blows in this issue…and thank God for that. Getting sick of heroes fighting heroes lately.

So, remember how last issue ended with both Casey Washington and Sebastian Clark seemingly dead? Well, guess what? Both alive and…well, not quite well, but doing alright. Following the assault from Felix Harmon, Casey has lost an eye and had to have her right arm amputated. However, she’s good friends with Morgan Freeman, I-I mean Lucius Fox, who vouches for her to Bruce Wayne and Batman (remember, in the comics, he doesn’t know they’re one and the same…even though he REALLY should) and lets her hide out in the lab for as long as she needs. And while I feel like I should be giving James Tynion a hard time for doing this to the female lead in this comic, I really can’t since, as we see in this issue, she’s still being awesome and witty despite her losses, talking about having to practise being a lefty and trading snarky comments with Fox as they get to work designing a prosthetic for her. Her only concern is the well-being of her daughter, and possibly getting some punches in on Harmon when they find him. Seriously, Casey NEEDS to become either the new Oracle, or a new heroine version of Cyborgirl. She’s just too damned awesome.

In the meantime, however, there’s a bit of a problem, which Calvin Rose and Batman learn upon investigating the Court’s hideout and sending Robats to Bane’s island: The Court of Owls has gone back into hiding, Harmon has officially gone rogue, and Bane and his entire island have disappeared, though readers of Forever Evil: Arkham War can learn what he’s up to. However, Batman and the currently beating himself up Calvin Rose have to get their priorities straight: They need to find Sarah and rescue her from the Court of Owls. Batman hands over what information he has on the Court to Calvin, to fill in any blanks he might have and give him some clues on where to find them, since his experience with them probably trumps his own. However, Batman isn’t completely sold on a good Talon, and makes it clear he has a cryo-tube in Blackgate ready for after Calvin has located Felix Harmon. Granted, kinda untrusting and paranoid of Batman, but to be fair, look at what happened to him a year ago at the hands of the Court of Owls and their Talons. Plus, while I love Calvin, he hasn’t done much to prove himself a good ally to Batman to keep loose.

Throughout the comic, we learn more about where Felix Harmon comes from, how he was brought into the Court of Owls, and how he earned the name ‘The Gotham Butcher’. By the end of the comic, we see that his great atrocity was that he murdered 17 people in one night and set an orphanage on fire. In the present, he returns there to hide out while planning his next move, only to find someone there waiting for him: Sebastian Clark. I kinda have to tilt my head at this, since we last saw him on the boat with Bane getting the frak punched outta his face, but regardless, he’s done some reading from The Secret History of the Court of Owls on Harmon. It seems that Clark, having had all of his plans torn apart and any sense left in his brain punched out by Bane, has come up with a much more simple plan of revenge against the Court, Calvin Rose, Casey Washington, Batman, and everyone else that’s crossed both him and Harmon: They’re going to kill Gotham City!

This issue was pretty good, setting the stage for the next couple of issues as Clark and Harmon get ready for the killing spree to end all killing sprees. If I have a complaint against it, it’s that it feels like it skipped a few details. Why is Batman instantly willing to work with Calvin Rose, even for the short-term? How did Clark get back to Gotham, seemingly so fast? How did the Court of Owls relocate so quickly? How did Casey go from being in danger of dying to just losing an arm and an eye? I feel like there’s an entire issue worth of stuff that was glossed over to get us to this point. Still, I guess we can attribute Casey’s survival to the money and resources available to Batman and Lucius Fox, and the Court disappearing because…well, because they’re the Court. The only remaining thing I feel the need to point out is that, even IF Calvin is put in cryo-stasis, it won’t be permanent, since we clearly see him on the cover of Batman: Detective Comics #27. Still, a good issue nonetheless, and I suspect the next couple to bring conclusion to the current arc in a powerful way.

So, that’s it for this week. Next week, we get an in-depth look at Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson‘s history as a duo in Nightwing Annual #1. Ja né!

 

A Look At Recent DC Costume/Appearance Redesigns

So, one of the many changes that came with the New 52 were new costumes/appearances. A lot of them have stuck, a couple went back to normal, and we’ve even seen one or two additional redesigns since the reboot got started. So, I thought I’d take a sec to give my own thoughts on a lot of ’em. And where better to start than…

Superman in the New 52

I’ve mentioned this before on the blog and in the author’s notes of my Man of Tomorrow fanfic, but I’m actually fine with Superman wearing a sort of armoured suit, provided it actually looks like the Superman costume. Why? Because we’ve seen him fight opponents with access to one or more of his weaknesses, like Metallo, or can just power through him, like Doomsday. It only makes sense that he might wanna wear more protection in case of such an event. Heck, if I have ANY complaint with Superman’s general appearance in the New 52, it’s with how frigging young he looks. I’m sorry, it just bugs me. He doesn’t look like a smart, experienced superhero to me. And yes, I’m aware that Superman can extend his bio-electrical field around his costume, thus generally protecting it from being torn to shreds in battles, but there have been occasions where that didn’t work out so well, so a more durable costume would make sense there…which actually brings me to the next costume on my list…

Power Girl in the New 52

I remember getting a LOT of heat for saying I liked Power Girl’s costume in Worlds’ Finest. I still don’t quite get what the problem with it was from its appearance. Maybe the blue lines going down her sides? I dunno, even they didn’t seem bad, really. And plus, the costume came complete with an actual logo for her. But, that said, I did have a problem with the costume, but it had nothing to do with the appearance. Rather, it had to do with every copy of the costume (and one or two of her other outfits) winding up like THIS!

How is it that the costume with the boob window still winds up more modest than the one that covers her full body? Well, making the newer one out of the flimsiest fucking material on Earth and/or Krypton was a start!

Nightwing in the New 52

I’ve mentioned this before with both of Nightwing’s New 52 costumes, but if I haven’t made my point, here it is: They both look fine from a design standpoint, but PLEASE put him in blue again, PLEASE. There’s just too much red in DC nowadays, and Nightwing looks better in blue. Admittedly, though, the newer one in his solo book DOES look better than the previous, particularly when there’s a lot of blue lighting around in the comic against his red and black costume. Almost makes him look like Spider-Man. 😀

Wonder Woman in the New 52

Not really a complaint against the design, since it looks a lot like the classic swimsuit-esque Wonder Woman costume. Little confused why the gold portions were changed to silver, but not too big a deal, I guess. No, my issue is that it’s clearly constructed as body armour…Okay, I don’t have a problem with the standard Wonder Woman costume, but when you make body armour, shouldn’t it really COVER THE BODY? Y’know, while we’re on the subject, could someone please explain why everyone hated the costume she wore in the J. Michael Straczynski era? I mean, I could say a lot about JMS’ run in comics, *COUGH!*ONEMOREDAY*COUGH!*, but I can’t really fault him for this. It provided protection to her whole body, and she still managed to look like Wonder Woman. In other words, it’s not like THIS…

Wonder Woman in the 90’s

Okay, for real? I never wanna hear anybody complain about the JMS era costume ever again, because like I said before, at least in that costume, she still looks like Wonder Woman. In the 90’s costume, she looks like a biker who fell off her motorcycle, got amnesia, and when she woke up, she saw stars on her costume and thought she was Wonder Woman for some reason.

Anyway, I think that’s enough for now, but I should probably make a note to come back with more later on. Discuss away, and I’ll see y’all next time. Ja né!

THE GLITCH LIVES – The Original Pokémon Glitch Is Back, WITH A VENGEANCE

Beneath the seas, beside the flames
Off the coast, where the lost beast came
To bring the world misery and shame
A piece of the world is Missing.

The path you should have never crossed,
The Beast exacts a heavy cost,
The number of the Beast is lost,
You will know it by its hissing.

The bones from hell you cannot tame,
Devour your life and all your fame,
That is the price to play its game,
And all while you’re reminiscing.

The poem you have just read was created for the popular web series and comic book review show (that I could not shut up about to save my life), Atop The Fourth Wall. In the series, the main character, Linkara, learns of an Outer God called The Entity that has infected the world, even making people disappear as they are absorbed into its being. What he later discovers is that The Entity is actually MissingNo., a glitch in the original Pokémon games, that became an Outer God in an alternate universe. In reality, MissingNo., or Missing Number, is just a glitch in the old games that was rumoured to be something of a game-breaker if encountered and captured. There’s conflicting information on just what it can and can’t do, and just how it works, but I suggest you look it up on Bulbapedia. It explains a lot better than I can.

Well, recently, there was a bug discovered in the Pokémon X & Y games, located in Lumiose City, also believed to be a game-breaker. It was apparently dealt with…However, recent images have revealed THIS!

MissingNo. in Lumiose City

…So yeah, MissingNo. is back, apparently with a vengeance…I can’t wait for Lewis Lovhaug to hear about this on Twitter. I know I’ve already tweeted him, but I’d be willing to bet he’s gotten at least a couple dozen others. Knowing my luck, he’ll integrate it into the story on his show to bring The Entity back…and I still haven’t gotten the horrifying scream The Entity let loose when it died the first time outta my head!

…Anyway, discuss, feel free to share your own MissingNo. stories. For now, I’m just gonna go hide under blankets with a Poké Ball in one hand and a Lightsaber in the other…Ja né!

Why All The Hate For Batfleck?

Okay, I know I’ve talked about this before, and I probably will do so again in the future, but something’s been bugging me a LOT about fan reactions to Superman vs Batman: Why are people so pissed off about Ben Affleck being cast in the role of Batman? What’s got people angry? Why would they have concerns over this?

Now, before anyone takes this to mean I’m a huge Ben Affleck fan, I’m REALLY not. I don’t really have any major problems with him, I’m just not much of a fan, either. He just doesn’t really register with me. I’m also not saying that he will not suck. I haven’t seen any footage of him as Batman, so it’s impossible to judge one way or the other. I’m just saying that I don’t really get what people are so angry or worried over with him being Batman. I mean, we’ve seen plenty of odd choices for Batman over the years. Some worked, some didn’t, but they all at least TRIED to give us something memorable. In fact, speaking of past Batmans, a lot of the complaints I’ve heard actually sound rather familiar, in that they sound a lot like the ones people had for Michael Keaton as Batman: They could see him in the role, they couldn’t see themselves taking him seriously as Batman, etc. Guys, that’s what made him the perfect Batman for that movie: YOU WOULDN’T SUSPECT HIM! You would never look at Michael Keaton and go “Yeah, that guy is TOTALLY Batman”. I mean, you would NOW, because he was in two Batman movies, both of which were great (the second one didn’t work as well with audiences, but I thought it was great), but regardless, not being able to finger out a guy like Michael Keaton as Batman? That was the whole point. He didn’t act out in public like someone trying to hide something or someone desperate for attention, he acted like a normal guy (albeit, a rich one) who was keeping all his pain, angst, and exhaustion inside. So I don’t think that’s credible enough reasoning against Affleck.

One theory I have is that people think it’ll suck by virtue of Affleck’s OTHER superhero role, Daredevil. Now, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I have seen clips, and…yeah, it’s not that great. However, to be fair, the same people who made that movie then went on to do Elektra, which was even worse, so I’m gonna cut Affleck some slack and suggest that he didn’t have the best direction…Oh, and while I’m on the subject, there’s a video on YouTube that’s basically a Daredevil trailer done in the style of the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, definitely give THAT a look, just for fun. lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQNh-HVRr6g

Anyway, getting back on topic, and while I was talking about direction, that’s actually where MY concerns for Superman vs Batman comes into play. I’ve made it no secret that, while I liked Man of Steel, I had SERIOUS problems with it, namely the portrayal of Jonathan Kent (FU, Kevin Costner, even without those lines, you are still a dull and wooden performer if ever I saw one), and pretty much the final climax of the movie being a massive fight scene that destroys most of Metropolis and ends with Superman snapping Zod’s neck. Well, now the same guy, Zack Snyder, is doing THIS movie, AND he’s been asked to get creative input from Frank Miller, a man who never understood Superman even BEFORE he went bat shit insane! And apparently, this movie is going to take lots of cues from The Dark Knight Returns, which is a good book that made for a good movie, but is also infamous for its portrayal of Superman and the fight between him and Batman…Although, if we’re still trying to be fair here, it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been the sequel. But yeah, that’s MY concern for the movie…Well that, and rumours of Batman’s love interest being Supergirl. *shivers* But yeah, it’s got nothing to do with Affleck.

So those are my thoughts on Batfleck. Again, I’m not saying he won’t turn in a bad performance, it’s entirely possible that he’ll suck. I’m just saying that I can’t really say that he will suck before I see any actual footage of him as Batman. And until I see any footage, that opinion will not change. For now, let’s just hope this movie manages to be good, and possibly even makes up for the mistakes of the last one, because otherwise, I’m worried for the future of this film franchise. Ja né!

 

Why I Am Officially Divorcing The Pokémon Anime (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AHEAD)

…So, you may have noticed that I haven’t done a review of the Pokémon anime in a long time. It’s taken a long time to admit to this, but after watching Best Wishes with my friend N. Harmonik, and she can attest to how many times I’ve brought up what’s wrong with the anime as of late, and clearly seeing that no, Ash has NOT grown up in the new series, and no, he probably never will, and seeing that every season from now until whenever the show ends will likely be ‘second verse, same as the first’…I hate this show. I hate this show so much. It is everything that an anime should NEVER be: Characters do not grow, there is little to no story, and there is very little resolution to the characters’ journeys because, at the beginning of every new series, they hit the reset button. It’s not even really an anime, it’s a half-hour advertisement for the games, and when the Pokémon games have had better stories than the anime has, that’s a BAD thing.

If yer wondering what exactly it is that has broken the camel’s back, allow to explain. There is a movie that has come out recently that involves Mewtwo going up against Genesect. This was the movie I was actually really looking forward to, because this was the battle that seemed practically gift-wrapped to the writers: A Pokémon with a very similar back-story to Mewtwo, but with a severe type advantage. And when I saw that there was more than one of them, and they’d be going up against a Mega Evolved Mewtwo, my jaw dropped and I said “That’s gonna be AWESOME!”

Now, as my excitement wore down a little and I learned more about Mega Evolution, the question then was, “Well, how does Mewtwo Mega Evolve? In the games, that requires a Pokémon to be holding a Mega Stone, and to have a close enough a connection to a Trainer with a Keystone that they achieve this new evolved form.” So then I thought, “Well, the connection between Ash and Mewtwo is pretty strong, after their meetings in the first movie and in Mewtwo Returns, so maybe they find the stones and Mewtwo evolves that way?”…And then the prequel special happened, where it was revealed that Mewtwo just had the ability on its own to do this. Also, since the release of the movie, it has been revealed this is NOT the same Mewtwo. As a matter of fact, Mewtwo is actually voiced by a woman in this movie.

… … …Writers, animators, editors, whoever works on the movies and/or the anime. You had this AMAZING story just BEGGING to be written, where Mewtwo reaches that point where it knows it can trust humans, and upon doing so, discovers this whole new power that it never knew existed. You had this story that would’ve connected all the way back to the first movie and actually helped to make that raped-me-in-the-ass reset button ending WORK. But you didn’t, when it was easy, because you don’t care enough to do so, and if you don’t care, why the hell should the audience care? Why should I ever give a flying fuck about a show that never changes, never shows the characters grow, and never lets them enjoy any kind of achievement? And before ANYONE says Orange Islands or Battle Frontier, those stories and how those accomplishments played out were clearly tailored to let Ash win without actually becoming ANYTHING more, and then IMMEDIATELY, on both occasions, saw him get smacked back down by a guy he, by all rights, surpassed LONG AGO. And if your concern is that letting Ash grow up and become a Master might alienate your primary demographic, that being kids, might I recommend you read the manga and see how they handle it there.

Lemme bring up an alternative to this: Pokémon Origins. Now, the English dub isn’t out yet, and despite some fears of what they do with the English dub, I still plan to see it, but just from watching the four episodes in their original format, I can tell you that those four episodes are better than what we’ve gotten out of the past four seasons of the main anime. Now, it has the same curse as the anime has, in that it’s pretty much an advertisement for the games. Pretty sure that’s the sole reason for including Mega Charizard X. Where it’s different…well, first off, it’s for fans of the original games, so it’s clearly tailored towards a slightly older audience, while still being just tame enough that kids can watch it. Second, you can tell that the people who worked on it actually…what’s the word…? Oh yeah, gave a shit. They WANTED this to be good. Third, Red actually BEATS the Elite Four, becomes champ, and completes the PokéDex…well, the Kanto Regional PokéDex, anyway. He’s gonna be PISSED when he finds out there’s another hundred Pokémon just a little bit west of him. lol Oh, and while the animation is still good and keeps up with stuff you see nowadays, it isn’t SO bright and flashy that it gives me a headache, unlike THAT OTHER SHOW.

So yeah, sorry to disappoint, but I’m officially DONE with the Pokémon anime, at least how it is now. It sucks beyond redemption. It sucks beyond the ability to be fixed with the current team working it. I’m just DONE with it, and until something is done to fix it, which will not happen without anything short of a fucking miracle, that is my final word on the subject. Bottom line, if you want a great story involving the characters from the Pokémon games, read the manga, watch Pokémon Origins, hell, even some fanfics out there handle the characters better than the show does nowadays. In fact, I think I WILL go re-watch Pokémon Origins now, just for fun, and just ‘cuz I’m sick of complaining about the anime. Ja né!