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N. Harmonik’s Blind Reaction To Death Battle: Joker vs Sweet Tooth (And I’m There Too, lol)

It’s that time again! Here’s me and N. Harmonik giving our blind reactions to Death Battle: Joker vs Sweet Tooth!

NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE…

Batman #39 Preview

It seems the Court of Owls might be a little resistant to helping Batman out…Yeah, let’s see how well that works out for them. lol

“Endgame” part 5. The Joker is back! The penultimate issue of the Clown Prince of Crime’s horrifying return! Plus, in the backup story, the inmates and Mahreen finally learn the truth about The Joker!

http://www.newsarama.com/23605-batman-courts-help-from-the-owls-to-defeat-the-joker.html

Thoughts On Batman #38 – What Is The Joker?

Well, I ended up getting my copy of Batman #38 late, due to the roads being kinda icky last night (although that didn’t stop me from reading spoilers, because dammit, after last issue, the hell if I was gonna wait any longer than I had to in order to find out what the hell is going on). Since its release yesterday, Scott Snyder has clarified a few details for the sake of those wondering.

  1. This is NOT a dream, illusion, or hallucination. What Batman is going through is 100% REAL, so theories that this is another worst case scenario brought on by the Scarecrow’s fear toxins are incorrect, though it’s likely that the payoff for that is that Batman goes through the horrid nightmares of his end, but is able to cheat death where it counts most.
  2. The Joker DOES know now that Batman is Bruce Wayne. There’re no more implications, suggestions, doubts, or theories, HE KNOWS. As such, all bets are off regarding what Joker can and will do to Batman now.

So, let’s get down to the question at the core of everything going on in this story: What is the Joker? Is he human, or some kind of monster? Is he mortal, or immortal? Well, before we get to that, I can clear this much up: Regardless of what he is, there IS something in his bloodstream that has a regenerative factor to it. He was shot through the chest and didn’t die. Ergo, whether or not he’s always had it, the fact is, Joker cannot be killed right now, so even if Batman was finally willing to cross that line, the end result is that he cannot kill him.

...That, right there, is where Grayson should realize just how boned they are: BATMAN does not have a plan.

…That, right there, is where Grayson should realize just how boned they are: BATMAN does not have a plan.

Regarding whether or not Joker could possibly be an immortal that’s been haunting Gotham City for at least a hundred years. Well, here was the argument that kept getting in the way of that for me: “How can Joker be immortal, have been seen in Gotham for at least a hundred years, and have that same pale face to boot throughout that time, when he only got it when he fell into the chemical bath?” And we HAVE established that this part of his history is still canon, having occurred during the Zero Year story-arc. However, here’s the counter-argument I eventually came to: “How do you know he got that face from the chemical bath? The only proof you have are flashbacks provided by Joker’s own narration, and his tales of his past have proven he’s either a liar or doesn’t remember his own past. In fact, how did he even survive the fall to begin with? Furthermore, how did he manage to survive everything he has, from falls off cliffs to escaping deadly explosions to even surviving the process of having his face cut off?” I’ll admit, at that point, I was kinda stumped to come up with a logical explanation for all of that, especially since so much of who Joker is and his past is kept a mystery. Remember, Zero Year suggested that he WASN’T the leader of the Red Hood Gang, but an impostor that had taken his place after the real one died. And then there’s the cave he had of other Harley Quinns he’d supposedly created prior to turning Harleen Quinzel to his side, all dead. Now, one could assume he was just messing with Harley, and in fact, he very well may have, but what if he wasn’t? What if they were all allies of his throughout his years of tormenting Gotham? Finally, how can someone trump Batman at his own game as often as he has, putting the opponent at a sheer disadvantage due to prior preparation, unless he’s been playing this game far longer than him?

This narration has been brought to you by Crazy Quilt, who got a MUCH appreciated revamp for this story.

 

So, here’s what I’m thinking has happened: Either Scott Snyder has finally explained how it’s possible for Joker to have survived all he has in his career as a Batman villain, OR has created a reasonable enough conclusion for people to come to before throwing the rug out from under them. Either way, though, when I realized he’d done one of these two things, I was torn between my admiration of his brilliance and my need to punch the beautiful bastard. lol And for that matter, I love what else he’s done, in involving Bruce’s uncle’s associates, having this story be a sequel to Death of the Family, and having Bruce finally decide to get his answers on whether Joker is immortal or not from, of all people, the Court of Owls. This is taking everything he and Greg Capullo have done in their time on the book and bringing it all together for one big climax. And the bizarre thing is, it’s not even the end! They’re still on-board for the book post-Convergence, which I keep hearing is supposed to get insane with how things change for Batman afterward. If THIS isn’t the part where things get crazy, then I gotta see what the hell those evil geniuses have in mind for post-Convergence.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on Batman #38. Lemme know your own theories on what’s happening with Joker in the comments below, and we’ll see how things turn out as Endgame winds down to a close over the next couple of months. Ja né!

Batman #36 Review – Bourder (WARNING – SPOILERS AHEAD)

This issue is once again great, but I have a couple of problems that I’ll address. It picks up right where we left off…more or less, since we actually start with a look at another possible death scenario for Bruce, care of the stuff Scarecrow put in his system. And again, is this something that happened in another book that I didn’t read, something that’s going to happen in Eternal, or just an off-panel event we never actually see? Regardless, the point is that, while the scenario is different in each of these visions, one thing that’s the same is the sound of cold, mocking laughter, coming from the city, asking Batman who or what he thought he was…Gosh, I wonder why you hear THAT, Bruce?

Anyway, snap back to reality, and Superman is still pummeling on Batman’s armoured suit, his ‘Super-buster’, if you will. Of course, seeing as how Batman can be INCREDIBLY paranoid, the suit’s armed with weapons meant specifically to take down Superman, with knuckles emitting red sunlight, and plasma shields meant to stop both heat vision and freeze breath. Unfortunately, he kinda failed to take into account that, because this is a suit meant to take on Superman, who generally has limits to what he’ll do, the best it can do against a Superman hell-bent on killing Bats is slow him down. So yeah, the suit gets trashed, but thankfully, Batman’s got one last trick up his sleeve: A gum-like substance laced with Kryptonite that he spits INTO HIS EYE. This seems to finally put Superman down long enough to get him and the rest of the League to A.R.G.U.S. for treating, but they’ll be out for nearly a week, meaning Joker is clearly planning something so big that Bruce would normally be forced to call on the team for help. And I suppose I should point out what bullshit it is that Batman managed to walk away with no lasting damage from fighting the Justice League, Superman in particular, but at least it wasn’t technically a victory. I’m sure that if the fight had continued, Superman probably would’ve killed Bruce. Also, God knows the ‘Super-buster’ (and yes, I’m going to continue to call it that) was probably worth a TON, and the chances of building another just like it aren’t great, so if something like this ever comes up again, Bruce is screwed.

After meeting up with Alfred and Julia, both of whom make it clear that they aren’t leaving Bruce to deal with this alone, Batman deduces that Joker must’ve gotten at the League when they were at a charity for the Gotham Children’s Hospital a month earlier, and that whatever he used was so slow and subtle working that none of them noticed until it was too late…and I kinda have to scratch my head at this point. No, not for the fact that the Joker venom was used on the Justice League, since we learn that different variations were used on each, and I can see how someone with enough knowledge of each member could pull this off. However, how could Joker know all of this? The only way he could pull it off is if he had access to the same information as Batman, but that would require hacking the cave computers, which would need knowing where to find them, which would then require knowing who Batman is, and we’ve already established that Joker doesn’t want to know who Batman is.

Eventually, Batman decides to check out Joker’s cell back at the ruined Arkham Asylum. Mr. Border, who’s been working at Arkham since Batman Annual #2 and has popped up here and there in story, shows up, saying that the patients at Arkham Manor are scared of Joker, and that he came to check the area out. Batman tells him he should really get back to his patients, at which point Border explains that, since arriving in Gotham, all he’s ever wanted was to help the Arkham inmates, the people of Gotham, and Batman most of all, but that none of them saw a helping hand…just as the door to Joker’s cell locks on Batman, and the cell starts to fill with gas. Turns out, Mr. Border is really more like Mr. Bourder, an obsolete word for ‘Jester’…and all I could hear while reading this for the first time was this little tune…

Yep, Border’s really Joker in disguise, using make-up, muscle relaxers, and even sporting a new face (Thank God). We see that Joker has infected most of the city as Batman is trapped in the cell, and that, as alluded to before, Joker didn’t exactly take the ending of Death of the Family all that well, and is now out to END Batman. And it’d be great dialogue…if it wasn’t more or less word for word what Scott Snyder said in an interview while explaining Joker’s motivations this story arc. Seriously, Scott, I love ya and all, but you REALLY shouldn’t be doing this. And I’m not the only person to notice, either. But yeah, Joker says that when Batman wakes up, he’ll find the whole city laughing at him, pulls out a BANG flag gun, shoots, and end of Part 2 of Endgame.

I don’t want anyone to think I didn’t enjoy this issue from my nitpicking, because I did, A LOT. I’m just pointing out that a few things either didn’t add up well, or have yet to, but it’s still early in the story, so who knows, maybe it’ll iron itself out later. I will say that the best part of this issue was the reveal that Border was really The Joker. Now, I’d seen a new shot of what Joker was supposed to look like online, particularly in his recent haircut, so when I saw Border in this issue and saw his hair, there was a split second where I thought to myself “…Wait a minute…”, but I didn’t really believe it, since I didn’t think it was possible…Yeah, turns out, VERY MUCH SO. And I gotta wonder, was Border ALWAYS supposed to be Joker in disguise? How long has Snyder been planning this? Were there clues I missed along the way? I can see him popping pills in Batman #34, which were probably those muscle relaxants he mentioned, and re-reading that scene knowing what I know now makes it absolutely CHILLING. And frankly, I seem to recall Joker once saying “How do you keep a secret from the World’s Greatest Detective? You stick it right in front of him, right under his long pointy nose, and wait.”

Speaking of, I think I speak for most when I say that I’m glad to see that Joker has a face again. Having him not have a face FOREVER just wouldn’t have worked. I’m curious as to how and when he got it, though. Clearly, he knows a REALLY good plastic surgeon…though I wonder how come this new face is also bleached white. But whatever, point is, despite some hiccups along the way, Endgame has proven to be really good, and I can’t wait to see what that insane, demented, side-show freak pulls out next…But enough about Scott Snyder, I wonder what Joker has planned? 😄

My Own Answer To My DC Multiverse Questionnaire – The Villains

So, as you saw in an earlier post of mine, a few days ago, I sent a number of people on Tumblr a sort of questionnaire, asking what they would do with their own world in the DC Multiverse. I guess with Multiversity being out (and being AWESOME, btw), with the possibility of the return or integration of the previous continuity on the horizon, and with other stories involving multiple universes being told in other books across DC and Marvel, it’s just really hitting me the mass potential that can exist in stories like these. But, just because I sent the questionnaire out in the first place does not mean that I am exempt from giving an answer myself. As I said before, I’ve done stories with my own take on the DCU, but that was more-so becoming my idealized versions of the characters. So, I guess this is how I would do my own world in the DC Universe, who would its heroes be, and who would its biggest villains be (besides alternate Earth villains or singular entity enemies like the Anti-Monitor or Darkseid). And since I did the heroes already, let’s take a look at the villains, starting with arguably the most memorable of all, Batman’s rogues gallery.

Batman's Rogues Gallery

Batman’s Rogues Gallery

Of course, I’d want the big names like Joker, Riddler, Penguin, and Black Mask around, but I’d also wanna introduce lesser-known villains and tweak some of the more well-known ones. For example, what if Victor Fries was actually an ally of Bruce Wayne/Batman’s, and the man to become Mr. Freeze was none other than Joe Chill, the man who killed Batman’s parents? What if Roxy Rocket, originally conceived for the 90’s animated series, was the one who played cat and mouse with Batman the most in Catwoman‘s absence (we’ll get to her in a bit)? What if Mirror, from Gail Simone’s run on Batgirl, was trying to kill Bruce Wayne for surviving when his parents didn’t? And then there’s the Joker. I think I’d want him to be more akin to Heath Ledger’s Joker in terms of, rather than having his skin bleached and hair turned green by falling into chemicals, he’s just a guy in make-up with no traceable fingerprints or identity. Also, I think I’d give him a bit of an Alex DeLarge Clockwork Orange twist on him in leading the Jokerz, though perhaps toned down a little from that in terms of…*ahem*, ‘Singing In The Rain’. After all, Joker should still keep that part of him that you can laugh at and/or with while still being frightened of him.

Poison Ivy's Rogues Gallery

Poison Ivy’s Rogues Gallery

For Poison Ivy, who I envision as being akin to Greg Pak’s interpretation of Storm in this world, her villains would be a mix of wealthy tyrants (Veronica Cale and Knightfall in particular come to mind), other elementally-based baddies (Volcana, Killer Frost, and Livewire), and general villains for hire (mercenaries and assassins like Deadshot or Bane). And of course Floronic Man…’Cuz, duh. And, just for the hell of it, SNOWFLAME! 😄 Otherwise, though, most of what Ivy would do is just help people out and get into conflicts with governments that either distrust her or don’t want her involvement, even though she’s just trying to be of assistance to people that could use it.

Doctor Fate's Rogues Gallery

Doctor Fate’s Rogues Gallery

For Doctor Fate, since Khalid hasn’t really been around long enough to earn a Rogue’s Gallery, save for Wotan, I’m thinking he would fight a lot of the mystical/paranormal threats to the world. Mordu, Enchantress, and Morgaine le Fey were easy choices, but I also wanted to bring in villains that hadn’t necessarily gotten much in the way of attention. Then I remembered an old enemy of Batman’s, one that even pre-dates Joker, that was vampiric in nature, and hadn’t been seen much in years: The Monk. Surely someone like that could prove a sufficient threat to the newest person to claim the Helm of Nabu.

The Rogues

The Rogues

Yeah, not much of a shocker, huh? Of COURSE it’d be The Rogues. They’re pretty much THE trademark villains of anyone carrying The Flash mantle since just a little while after Barry Allen took up the role. All the really great ones, like Captain Cold, Weather Wizard, Golden Glider, Mirror Master, and so on. Also, as a sort of take-that to how he was portrayed in Countdown as unapologetically homophobic, I think I’d want Trickster to be gay (seriously, suck it, Countdown). I’m thinking they could perhaps take a bit more directly antagonistic role with the female Flash, in that she has little time for their quirks and wants to shut them all down. And of course I’d need to include a Reverse Flash, and other villains like Gorilla Grodd.

Green Lantern's Rogues Gallery

Green Lantern’s Rogues Gallery

In addition to other ring-bearers like Sinestro, Black Hand, and Atrocitus, I’d like to see some of the classic Green Lantern villains come back. Solomon Grundy is of course a great pick, and a fairly well-known baddie, what with his appearances in the Justice League animated series, Batman: Arkham City, and Injustice: Gods Among Us. Doctor Polaris is another good one, since he’s pretty much Magneto, only in an even dumber costume. Although technically, I’m pretty sure neither one is a rip off of the other, since they both made their debuts a couple of months apart from each other. Not really enough time to cheat off the other person’s test sheets, if you get my drift.

Wonder Woman's Rogues Gallery

Wonder Woman’s Rogues Gallery

Since Diana would be Queen not only of Themyscira but of Atlantis as well with Mera, I’m thinking her rogues could be a blend of her usual enemies and Aquaman’s. So, on one hand, you’d have the typical Wonder Woman enemies like Cheetah, Circe, and Giganta, and on the other, you’d have people like Ocean Master, Black Manta, and King Shark. Of course, as a result of that, Mera would naturally get in on the fun of taking them down from time to time, because hey, she can’t just stay behind sitting on the throne ALL THE TIME, right? 🙂

Superman's Rogues Gallery

Superman’s Rogues Gallery

And finally, we come to Superman’s enemies. Of course, Superman has some of the most powerful opponents, as well some weaker-yet-varied ones, which makes sense. I mean, let’s say you’re Lex Luthor, calling in villains to kill Superman. Sometimes, when you’re evil and you’re trying to bring down a man as powerful as Superman, you gotta just throw random shit at him to see what works and what doesn’t. I think I’d wanna bring Ultra-Humanite back as one of his primary enemies, since he was his arch nemesis before Luthor came around in comics. Others would likely include Mongul, Brainiac, Atomic Skull, Metallo, Parasite, Bizarro, Toyman, and so on. As for his most notable and recognizable enemy, though…well, we’ll get to him in a sec. One thing I’d probably change is that Brainiac in this universe DID cause the destruction of Krypton. Why? Because otherwise, it makes the Kryptonians look REALLY stupid for not being able to tell (save for one or two scientists that they considered babbling madmen) that their frakking PLANET was about to blow. Seriously, why is it that in every single continuity, they NEVER believe it?! They never for one second suspect that the world is about to end…until right before it ends?! At least in the Superman animated series, we were given the semi-believable excuse that Brainiac lied to them about it!

Justice League's Rogues Gallery

Justice League’s Rogues Gallery

I’m thinking Justice League level threats, bad guys that are so powerful that they require the League’s attention instead of just one member’s, would be ones that are so powerful and dangerous that no single member of the team can take them down. Amazo‘s a good example, since it can replicate the abilities of anyone it interacts with. Mongul’s another good one, as he’s been shown to be able to be a match for even Superman. Starro would of course be a must, as the first villain the Justice League of America ever battled. And I think I’d want to re-establish Doctor Light as a credible threat to the team, minus…erm, certain things they did with him over the years (see Identity Crisis, unless you have a weak stomach). I suppose, depending on the situation, you could see supervillains like Brainiac, Grodd, and Black Hand as being League threats, and of course groups of villains would require the team’s attention…speaking of whom…

The Legion of Doom

The Legion of Doom

The Legion of Doom are typically recognized as being the ultimate group in opposition to the League. As such, I’m thinking that only the most dangerous, powerful, and brilliant villains of the DCU would form its inner circle. Lex Luthor, Riddler, Grodd, Vandal Savage, those kinds of villains that are a tad bit more devious, diabolical, and dangerous than the average rogue. Also, to round it out, I think I’d want people like Enchantress, Floronic Man, and Lion-Mane to be members, as villains with personal vendettas against members of the League.

Task Force X

Task Force X

Task Force X I think would basically be a mixture of Secret Six and Suicide Squad, in terms of some of the people that have been on both teams. Also, I think it’d be a well-balanced team of strength, speed, and varying skill-sets. In that case, I think Catwoman would be a must for the team. Also, I think I’d want to include Yo-Yo. No, not the one King Shark ATE that time, but the one from Flashpoint who, I’m not 100% sure, but I think was supposed to be Harleen Quinzel in the altered timeline. Again, not certain, but would certainly explain a bit. Otherwise, the obvious members include Deathstroke, Deadshot, King Shark, Scandal Savage, and possibly Bane at some point.

Whew! That’s the end of that! Got your own ideas on who would be the heroes and villains of your own world in the DC Multiverse? Lemme know in the comments below, and I shall see y’all next time. Ja né!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite Joker Quotes

…You saw the title. These are my 5 Favourite Quotes of The Joker. Keep in mind, these aren’t in any specific order, and come from many different interpretations of the character, including the comics, the TV shows, the movies, and the video games, which inevitably means this includes spoilers for anything they come from. So, let’s not wait any longer and send in the clowns with the first up to bat (no pun intended)…

#1 – “What the heck, I’ll laugh anyway” from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

This is the scene where Joker reveals exactly what he did to Robin, in horrific detail, via a home movie style video. But the great quote for me is what comes near the end of it, when he finally presses one of the last buttons Batman has…

“You would’ve been proud to see him so strong – but all too soon, the serums and the shocks took their toll…and the dear lad began to share such secrets with me. Secrets that are mine alone to know… Bruce. It’s true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarang, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic…Oh, what the heck, I’ll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HAA!”

#2 – “Madness is the emergency exit” from Batman: The Killing Joke

This quote comes from when Joker has Commissioner Gordon held captive on a ride with photos of Barbara Gordon displayed from when she was shot and stripped naked, all just to try to break the Commish, and…Well, I’m gonna let Troy Baker field this one.

#3 – “It’s not even breakfast” from Batman: Arkham City

In the climax of Arkham City…Well, Joker will explain in a bit, but he’s done a shit-ton of horrible stuff. But what caps it all off is this one exchange between him and Batman over the cure for Joker’s fatal ailment, where they pretty much spell out the nature of their encounters…

“Quick, the cure! What are you waiting for? Come on! I killed your girlfriend, poisoned Gotham, and hell, it’s not even breakfast! But so what? We all know you’ll save me.” “…Every decision you’ve ever made ends in death and misery. People die. I stop you…You’ll just break out and do it again.” “Heheheh…Think of it as a running gag!”

#4 – “Why so serious?” from The Dark Knight

…Because how could I not include this? The thing is, you gotta figure this quote plus the completely contradictory quote later on indicates one of two things: Either The Joker is completely insane and doesn’t remember how he got his scars, referencing back to The Killing Joke and how he remembered his origins slightly different from day-to-day, or he’s a liar and his explanations are mere parody at such simplistic reasons for what he does.

“Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker…and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not…one…bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, ‘Why so serious?’ He comes at me with the knife — ‘Why so serious?!’ Sticks the blade in my mouth — ‘Let’s put a smile on that face!’ And… why so serious?”

#5 – “April fools!” from Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

…Again, I think I’m gonna let someone else take this one. Here’s a 3D animation done by jwhit3d to the voice acting of Pgirts, with a little bit of Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin at the end from Batman: The Animated Series for flavour. 😀

So, those are my 5 Favourite Joker Quotes. Got one that’s not on here? Feel free to post it below in the comments, and let’s see about doing this again soon for more comic book characters. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Batman #24 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So, I was at Heroes’ Beacon today (the shop where I buy my comics), and I got some awesome books, so let’s take a minute to talk about…

What I Bought Today

Now, as I tend to do many times when one book in particular is just a huge flipping deal, I’m gonna cover it on its own, and then do the others in a second post. With that said, let’s take a look at Batman #24!

…Okay, I gotta ask, does anybody else totally hear Padmé’s Destiny from Star Wars Episode III when they look at this? Y’know, from when Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Anybody? o.O

This issue kinda marks the halfway point for Zero Year. Not necessarily that it’s halfway done in terms of number of issues, but from a storyline perspective, the first half is done, that being dealing with the Red Hood Gang and becoming Batman. And yes, we do see Bruce Wayne in his first (in the New 52 canon, anyway) Bat suit, in all of its purple-gloved glory! 😄 And snark aside, I felt they really did a good job of bringing back the classic Batman costume and modernizing it. In fact, the reveal is done in a two-page spread, where Batman is swinging with a Red Hood in a pose meant to harken back to the cover of Detective Comics #27, AKA Batman’s first appearance.

In the Batcave, Bruce and Alfred begin piecing together a plot by Red Hood One, which seems to be slightly rushed with the appearance of the Batman. However, they’re still lacking on some details, so Alfred suggests Bruce go to see Philip, who is overjoyed to see Bruce alive. Philip admits the Red Hood Gang got to him, and while he’s had enough of Red Hood One’s shit, when he wanted to go to the police, the gang kinda branded RH347 on his chest, thus linking him to them. However, he does give Bruce access to the information he needs, and he and Alfred quickly deduce Red Hood One’s plan. However, while Alfred says Batman has to stop them, Bruce replies that Batman can’t, that there’s only one man who can stop the Red Hood Gang this time: Bruce Wayne.

Bruce decides to reveal himself as being alive…again, this time through an impromptu press conference, Commissioner Loeb deciding to send Jim Gordon down to check it out, and here’s where we get something awesome. Bruce asks everyone watching at home why they love Gotham City. And really, when you read Batman comics, you have to wonder why ANYONE would love Gotham. Even without the super-villains, it’s still Hell on Earth. There’s gangbangers, the price of living comfortably is insane, there’s too much rain, and it just seems to bring out the worst in so many people. So why would anyone stay there? For Bruce, the answer is simple: People come to Gotham to become something MORE. Gotham City challenges the people living there to make themselves more than they are. It dares them to become better, and does everything it can to stop them, and if one can take all it can dish out, they become something more as a result.

Anyway, once the speech is over, Bruce points to the building he’s been standing in front of all along, and reveals it to be the Red Hood Gang’s hidden base: A.C.E. Chemical. Red Hood One is creating a flesh-eating poison that they’re going to unleash upon the city, Having given away their position, the Red Hood Gang decide to take out Wayne, but in the confusion of them shooting rockets at him and the GCPD getting involved, Bruce manages to get inside. Red Hood One finds him and holds him at gun-point, but Bruce literally tells him he’s “so full of #$%”, that his concept of ‘life is meaningless if you can die at any time’ is crap, since what matters most is what you do in the time you have. Red Hood One has heard enough and is ready to kill Bruce, but the lights go out, and as can be seen from above in a GCPD helicopter, the whole area has blacked out, the outline of which now resembling a bat. Sure enough, as the lights come back on, Batman kicks the crap out of the entire Red Hood Gang, all the while Red Hood One watches from the shadows, his eyes fixated on the Dark Knight.

While Batman deals with the grunts, and impressively so for a guy only in his first year as a crime-fighter, Red Hood One takes aim at him, but is caught by a bullet from another Red Hood bouncing off his helmet. Red Hood One straight up executes Red Hood 347, which Batman realises to his horror is Philip, just as the police finally manage to bust in. Granted, while they DID have charges, considering the chemicals in the building, they obviously couldn’t risk it. Unfortunately, the deflected bullet causes one of the tanks to leak, which in turn creates a chain of explosions, so I guess it didn’t matter in the end. The police try to arrest Batman, but you can probably guess how well that works…as in, not at all. lol

Batman catches up with Red Hood One, who is trying to escape in a helicopter, but they tumble back into the building, there’s another explosion, Red Hood One is dangling over a vat of chemicals, Batman tries to save the poor bastard, but he just says it wouldn’t be any fun, and…well, you can probably guess how this ends. However, there is a twist. A while later, we see that Bruce and Alfred have updated the Batcave a bit to look a little closer to the more modern take we see nowadays. Bruce suggests it’s only a matter of time before people start piecing together that he’s Batman, and jokingly offers to share a cell with Alfred. Pennyworth, however, says that at least the Red Hood Gang is defeated and he can move on from them…However, it seems Bruce can’t. The body of Red Hood One was never found, and while Red Hood members all pointed to a man named Liam Distal as the leader, HE was found dead the day before.

Distal’s corpse was mostly dissolved in lye, so that it’s impossible to tell exactly when he was murdered. So, now there’s a mystery regarding the identity of the man he fought…Okay, I’m just gonna say it, it’s The Joker. Either Joker killed Distal weeks ago and took his place, or he was a patsy reading lines for Distal and only made the switch recently. It’s also possible someone else killed Distal, and then switched places with ‘The Man Who Would Be The Joker’ before Batman caught up with him on the roof at A.C.E. In the end, without more evidence, there’s no way to know……..Scott Snyder, you redefine what it means to troll your readers. 😄

Huh. So THAT’S how he got those scars…Badumtish. 😛

At any rate, Alfred finds it unlikely people will figure out Bruce Wayne is Batman, relating back to his days as an actor. He used to try too hard to make the characters he performed just perfect, and leave no trace of himself in it, as to avoid seeming like a faker. However, what he learned is that the audience WANTS to believe in the actor. They want to forget who is under the mask, and become enthralled by the character, because the actor put so much hard work and passion into it. Add in the fact that Batman can pretty much make the rules of logic his bitch, and the everyday ordinary people of Gotham won’t WANT to know who Batman is.

Alfred and Bruce decide to make up after their most recent issue, but are cut off by a broadcast from Edward Nygma, who had become The Riddler. He delivers the second riddle of the Sphinx: ‘There are two sisters; each gives birth to the other. Who are they?’ Bruce, Alfred, and Commissioner Gordon all recognize it, just before Nygma calls for the ‘dark, dark night’, and our comic ends as he sets off explosions that cause a massive blackout all over Gotham City.

This comic is frigging awesome. The modernizing of Batman’s original costume is great, as is the little Easter Egg of the words “BK was here” on the roof in the two-page spread where Batman is revealed for the first time. Also, the result of his confrontation with the Red Hood Gang went VERY well. While I’m all too willing to say that the individual dressed as Red Hood One is the Joker, since it all but outright says that, the fact that we don’t see the transformation still leaves some ambiguity. And even if it IS him, we still don’t REALLY know who he is, and that’s how the Joker SHOULD be. As he himself said, “If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!” The ending where Riddler appears DOES seem kinda rushed, but I think that’s the idea, where Batman has defeated the Red Hood Gang, and yet only NOW is the shit getting real.

Anyway, that’s it for Batman this week, but we still have Nightwing, the Fearless Defenders, and Red Sonja to go through, so check back in a few when I talk about them. Ja né!

How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – Everyone’s Rogues Gallery

Yep, that time again, where I told about How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch. This time, we’re talking villains again, but I’m doing something a little different. Basically, I’m gonna be showing who belongs in whose’s roster of villains. Now, I know that these are all pre-established villains that have been paired with superheroes before, but this would basically be me trying to shake things up and keep things fresh. So, by pairing different heroes and villains, or by bringing back older villains that were forgotten in time for one more go, it keeps things new while also experienced. On top that, I’ve found that some heroes have far too many iconic villains to try to count, *COUGH!*Batman*COUGH!*, while some heroes don’t have enough. Also, this doesn’t mean that someone on Batman’s roster would never fight Wonder Woman or anything like that, it’s just who they would generally go up against.

Superman’s Enemies

Superman’s powers make him not only arguably the world’s greatest superhero, but also one of the more adaptive. Naturally, his villains need to either be able to match his strength, be unique enough in their abilities, can combat him on an intellectual level, or have access to one of his weaknesses.
Examples: Atomic Skull, Brainiac, Doomsday, Dyna-Mind, General ZodLex LuthorMagpieMetallo, ParasiteSolomon Grundy

Batman’s Villains

Batman is the World’s Greatest Detective, has peak physical conditioning, and near endless gadgetry. Naturally, his opponents have to be the type that challenge him from an intellectual angle, or can take advantage of the simple fact that, for all those advantages, he’s still a human with no super-powers. Also, given his own issues with vengeance vs justice, his foes might likely have similar problems.
Examples: Bane, Clayface, The Joker, Killer Croc, The Mad Hatter, Mr. Freeze, The Scarecrow, Ra’s al Ghul, The Riddler, Two-Face, Victor Zsasz

Wonder Woman’s Villains

Wonder Woman’s mission as an ambassador of her people can be considered as trying to show the world of man it can be a world of compassion, equality, and peace. So, it only makes sense that her enemies would be the types of individuals that are in direct contrast to that vision: Villains that seek to oppress, create chaos, or outright destroy. Also, Wonder Woman is no stranger to magical or Godly villains, so they would fit in as well.
Examples: Ares, Captain Nazi, Cheetah, Circe, Giganta, Gorilla Grodd, Poison Ivy, Trickster (New 52 Apokolips version), Veronica Cale

Cyborg’s Villains

Cyborg’s advanced tech, enhanced strength, and history with the Titans makes his choices relatively simple: The bulkier opponents of the Titans in the past, villains that can circumvent his circuitry, or other technologically advanced individuals.
Examples: Amazo, Cinderblock, Deathstroke, KGBeast, Overload, Plasmus, Prometheus, T.O. Marrow

The Flash’s Villains

As I mentioned before, I would make Wally West the Blue Lantern Flash, so his opponents would occasionally be evil Lanterns out to snuff out the Blue Light of Hope. Still, that doesn’t mean his classic enemies, The Rogues, can’t pop in from time to time. 🙂
Examples: Bleez, Captain Boomerang, Captain Cold, Heat Wave, Magenta, Mirror Master, Reverse Flash, Pied Piper, The Top

Green Lantern’s Villains

Naturally, Green Lantern would face other Lanterns, like the Sinestro Corps, or the Red Lantern Corps, but what about some of the classic GL foes from before the various Lantern Corps started going at it? Don’t really see many of those much anymore, huh? I think I’d wanna bring some of ’em back, but with modern takes on them to make ’em more threatening.
Examples: Atrocitus, Hector Hammond, Javelin, Krona, Larfleeze, Major Force, Puppeteer, Sinestro, Weather Wizard

Justice League’s Villains

Since the Justice League of America is made up of the greatest heroes in the world, the villains to oppose them have to either be galactic threats, foes that a single hero would need aid in defeating, or teams of villains that require an equal and opposite team of heroes to beat.
Examples: Black Hand, The Crime Syndicate, Darkseid, The Legion of Doom, Neron, Paragon, Starro the Conqueror, The White Martians

Batgirl’s Villains

As a heroine inspired by Batman and occasionally trying to earn his trust, it’s only fitting that Batgirl’s foes would be villains inspired by other villains, or just some of the villains he doesn’t always have time for. Plus, y’know, some of his female rogues, since…Okay, I know I wrote Batman kicking the new Copperhead in the face, but I wasn’t exactly all that comfortable doing it, know what I mean?
Examples: Calculator, Condiment King, Harley Quinn, Matilda, Roxy Rocket, Twiddledum and Twiddledee, The Ventriloquist (New 52 version), The White Rabbit

Teen Titans‘ Villains

Like I noted before, the Teen Titans would be going back to their roots as a response team to distress calls from teenagers, so a lot of their villains would be the types that try to corrupt the youths of the world. Also, plenty of their enemies would be enemies based out of Jump City, or foes that even the Justice League need the extra help taking on.
Examples: Billy Numerous, Doctor Light, The Fearsome Five, Goth, Harvest, The H.I.V.E., Johnny Rancid, Mister Twister, Terra

Batwoman’s Villains

Batwoman operates out of Gotham City, and is usually (in my canon, anyway) investigating the ties between secret organizations and trying to bring down mob bosses. As such, her enemies are mostly mobsters, criminal syndicates, and hired guns, usually from around Gotham.
Examples: Alice, Black Mask, Deadshot, Firefly, The Great White Shark, Intergang, The Penguin, The Religion of Crime, Rupert Thorne. The Secret Society

…Okay, I think my tags are getting a bit insanely high, so I’m gonna hafta stop there. lol Lemme know what you think, if there’s anyone I should switch around, and I’ll see ya next time! Ja né!

How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch – The Joker, Lex Luthor, Poison Ivy, And More

Welcome back to more of How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch, and honestly, the more I do this, the more I actually feel like doing a fanfic for a DC character. Actually, I have an idea in mind for a short one that I’ll probably do on FanFiction.net (and yes, I DO have a profile on there), but again, it’ll be a short one. Regardless, let’s move on to some of the villains of the DC Universe, and who better to start with than…

The Joker

I’d wanna take him back to being the Clown Prince of Crime, the guy who, while he was still a murdering psychopath, usually did his crimes in a sophomoric fashion. So really, something closer to his Batman: The Animated Series interpretation. That said, I would also wanna include some elements of the more horrifying Joker, in that he doesn’t want to kill Batman (because he’s too damned fun), and he tells different versions of how he got to be who he is, leaving the reader to guess if he’s a liar or if he honestly can’t remember. Is he a psychotic lunatic, or is he a parody of a psychotic lunatic?

Lex Luthor

Honestly, for all the crap I give some of the Superman books nowadays, I rather like the idea of Lex Luthor being under lock and key, but still having ways of interacting with the outside world and making life miserable for Superman. Plus, it raises a few interesting questions about him. Is he really unable to escape his cell, or does he stay there for his own protection? Think about it: While he’s under arrest, it’s not as if Superman can do anything to him. That said, I would also want to reintroduce Nasthalthia ‘Nasty’ Luthor, but as someone who might have her own plans for LexCorp with Lex behind bars.

Cheetah

Again, I actually rather like what The New 52 did with Cheetah. She’s fast, powerful, and most dangerous of all, smart enough to know how, when, and where to hit the Justice League. And that’s exactly what I’d wanna continue to do with her, since we just don’t get enough solo villains who can do harm to the Justice League without seeming absurdly powerful. Also, she tests the levels of Wonder Woman‘s compassion, which lets us see just how deep it goes…and as it turns out, it goes REALLY deep, and I’m awesome with that. 🙂

Catwoman

Did anybody read the Batman and Catwoman issue of Batman and Robin recently? They did? Okay: DO MORE OF THAT! Seriously, I love the idea that she’s simultaneously a jewel thief/government agent/thorn in Batman’s side/Batman’s main love interest! Maybe it’s just because it reminds me of Rouge the Bat (which is ironic, if you think about it long enough), but it just works for me, and I think it fits Miss Kyle VERY well. She’s the very blatant cat burglar, won’t make any excuses for that, and will find herself on the wrong side of the law frequently. And yet, if someone is threatening a kid, or about to kill Batman, or blow up a city, she will whip their ass clean off.

The Red Lantern Corps

Given what I suggested for The Flash before, having the Blue Lantern Ring, it makes sense to me that, in addition to his usual cast of enemies, that members of the Red Lantern Corps would be his enemies. After all, a Blue Lantern Ring can negate a Red Lantern Ring’s corruptive effects on someone, and as a group trying to spread murderous rage across the galaxy, they would of course see The Flash as a massive threat to them. As for which one would be the primary thorn in Flash’s side, probably Bleez, to give her something to do. Of course, members would also cause trouble for whoever the main Green Lantern on Earth is…which reminds me…

…By the way, is my constant whoring out of these polls getting annoying? Yes? Good! 😄

Starro the Conqueror (who apparently has no logo other than himself, lol)

For Starro the Conqueror, I’d bring him back as the first opponent the Justice League had to face. And really, can you blame me? He’s a very legit threat, able to bend anyone to his will, no matter how powerful. And frankly, there’s only a handful of ways to stop him, specifically Wonder Woman’s lasso and a Blue Lantern ring, which would give these characters major reason to band together, since they’d fall to Starro’s sway separately. It just seems like the best set-up for a Justice League story, which is probably why they did it in the first place.

Poison Ivy

For my favourite villainess of all time, I think I’d want Poison Ivy to be a Justice League/Birds of Prey villain, not just a Batman villain. Why? Think about her abilities for a moment: She can manipulate and control any and all plant life and even create plant-like monsters. Now think about how much of the world is plants of some kind or another. She’s also a master manipulator and seductress, able to bend anyone to her will, even Superman if she has her hands on Kryptonite. Suddenly, kinda makes you wonder how one man dressed like a bat can handle her all on his own. Granted, given the right circumstances, I can see him one-upping her, but for the most part, she seems like she should be way out of his league.

Anyway, that’s enough villains for now, though expect me to come back with more later. In the meantime, there’re still a few more heroes I need to talk about, aren’t there…?

…Ja né!

My 12 Favourite Bat Villains

So at the beginning of the month, I listed my 10 Favourite DC Villains. However, since I knew it would otherwise be a Batman/Batgirl bonanza of baddies, I limited them to two. And since I wanna cover 10 villains who I haven’t already covered in my previous list, and two of my favourites are characters I’ve yet to shut up about, let’s just say that they’re #1 and #2…

#1 – Poison Ivy, and #2 – The Joker

…and let’s look at #3 – #12 of my 12 Favourite Bat Villains!…Also, just FYI, be prepared for more than one of these choices to be as a result of Batman: The Animated Series. Just FYI.

#3 – Harleen Quinzel, AKA Harley Quinn

What’s funny about this one is that she’s worked VERY closely with both my #1 and #2 picks, being the on-again/off-again sidekick/one-way lover of The Joker, and the on-again/off-again partner/BFF of Poison Ivy. Originally, she was just The Joker’s henchman from Batman: The Animated Series. Once a psychiatrist, she was drawn in by Joker and became part of his criminal lifestyle. Since then, while she still regularly finds herself suckered back into working for The Joker, she’s also branched out on her own on occasion, teaming with Poison Ivy and Catwoman to become the Gotham City Sirens, being made to join the Suicide Squad, and even leading Joker’s army of crooks in an alternate universe in Injustice: Gods Among Us. Like The Joker, she tends to enter combat against Batman and other superheroes with an array of more comedic looking weapons, though they are generally quite lethal. Also, due to injections from Poison Ivy, she’s immune to most known forms of poisons and toxins.

#4 – Clayface

There’s been a few villains who have answered to the name Clayface, though arguably the most well-known is Basil Karlo. An insane Hollywood actor, he was originally just a villain in a mask, but later injected himself with samples of the others to become Clayface, gaining their shape-shifting abilities. Not only has he battled Batman, Robin, and Batgirl, but he’s also gone up against Wonder Woman and Donna Troy, and has had less than stellar relations with Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy. Recently, his shape-shifting powers have evolved to the point where he can assume the DNA of anyone he comes in contact with. However, this has come with a heavy price, as his own DNA has all but rotted away.

#5 – Victor Fries, AKA Mr. Freeze

Originally just a minor villain by the name of Mr. Zero, Paul Dini reinvented Mr. Freeze as quite possibly one of the most sympathetic villains in DC history. Voiced by the late great Michael Ansara, we learn that Victor Fries was a scientist whose wife, Nora, had to be cryogenically frozen to keep her alive after she’d been plagued with disease. At some point, Doctor Fries was involved in an incident with cryogenic substances that left him mutated. Now, he requires a cryo-suit that keeps his body at sub-zero temperatures to keep himself alive. Turning to a life of crime, his goal is to eventually obtain the resources required to find a cure for his wife, even if he has to kill to get it. He’s typically armed with a freeze ray of varying design and overall power, while his cryo-suit increases his physical strength to levels where he might actually be able to duke it out with the next guy on my list…

#6 – Bane

The man who broke the Bat, Bane is a criminal whose genius and physical prowess make him one of Batman’s most dangerous foes. However, I feel like something writers tend to forget, even when they know he has a genius level IQ, is that it was because of THAT that he beat Batman initially, NOT his brute strength. Bane knew that Batman could take him in a straight out fight. So, rather than attempt that, he opted to release the inmates at Arkham Asylum and let Batman go about bringing them all back in, all the while Bane deduced Batman’s alter ego and prepared to face the highly exhausted Bruce Wayne in his own home, when and where he was least expecting attack. This is what makes him so dangerous: It’s not his impressive strength that might actually be enough to inflict small amounts of damage to Superman, but rather, it’s his mind that makes him a near-unstoppable monster.

#7 – Roxanne Sutton, AKA Roxy Rocket

…I just like this one, okay? Although I find it interesting that she chose to be a villain. Given her back-story, she could’ve just as easily decided to become a crime fighter. Roxanne Sutton was a stunt double for big action movies, but was blacklisted when she began making the stunts too dangerous, clearly getting off on the thrill. Frankly, if she wants a thrill, she shoulda helped the Justice League against Darkseid. Now THERE’S a life-or-death scenario for ya. Then again, she’s also tussled with Batman, Batgirl, and even Superman on occasion, so make of that what you will. She’s never seen in action without her trademark rocket, which she has spares of hidden away for emergencies, and she generally likes to be armed with flare guns and other explosives. She’s not really cruel to the people she robs, though. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her intentionally try to outright kill anyone, save for the end of her début, when she almost crashed herself and Batman into a cliff, and we got to see just how far her obsession with thrills (and pushing the limits of the censors) went…

…Yeah, don’t pretend you weren’t thinking it. lol

#8 – Edward Nygma, AKA The Riddler

Riddle me this, riddle me that…he really SHOULD be afraid of the big bad Bat. Nevertheless, Edward Nygma has proven again and again that he has no fear of Batman. While he’s by no means a match for Batman on a physical level, he lives to test him on a mental level. In fact, his obsession with proving to be Batman’s intellectual superior is usually what leads him to leave riddles for his enemy, to see if he can actually keep up. However, Batman more often than not is more than capable, which has led to more than one humiliating defeat for The Riddler. Still, he should never be underestimated, as he has at times gone to Joker levels of manipulation and cruelty.

#9 – The Court of Owls

Kinda cheating, I know, but it’s hard to pin down a specific individual within the group that makes a better antagonist for Batman than the others, other than Lincoln March/Thomas Wayne Jr., whereas the group as a whole has proven to be a MASSIVE threat to Batman more than once in the past couple of years. They’re deeply entrenched in Gotham’s past, their soldiers are undead and near-unstoppable, and they have near-infinite amounts of time and resources with which to make their plans. Eliminating them for good may yet prove to be impossible, but their plans can be stopped, even if only long enough to force them back into hiding.

#10 – Shauna Belzer, AKA The Ventriloquist

If you thought the original Ventriloquist was creepy, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! This woman is a freaking horror movie monster! Like the others, she’s a psychotic killer with impeccable voice-throwing and impersonation skills. Where she differs is her general attitude, her sickly appearance, and the fact that she may or may not be a metahuman of some sort, able to control dead or otherwise inanimate objects. For example, her doll, ‘Ferdie’, and even her dead parents. This hasn’t been confirmed, however, as it could simply be some sort of trick, but there’s no way to know so far…which is just how I like it, to be honest. Of course, as her appearance might suggest, she’s not exactly very adept at defending herself otherwise, and is taken down rather easily. Still, that requires one to get past Ferdie and the rest of her unwilling accomplices.

#11 – Harvey Dent, AKA Two-Face

You know how I said Mr. Freeze is one of the most sympathetic villains ever? Well, if there was ever another DC villain to dispute that title, it’s these next two, starting with Two-Face. Once Harvey Dent, a district attorney who, together with Batman and Commissioner Gordon, sought to put the worst of Gotham behind bars, he faced horrid tragedy when the left side of his face was horribly burned. With that act, a lifetime spent keeping a lid on his anger, bipolar disorder, and paranoia were undone, creating the split personality of Two-Face. His obsession over the number two has led him to enact crimes centered around it, and he’s obsessive-compulsive toward his coin, which he uses to settle most of his decisions. And if that doesn’t seem terrifying to you, just imagine a man holding a gun to your head, flipping a coin, and then trying not to piss yourself in fear over the results.

#12 – Mary Dahl, AKA Baby Doll

Yeah, it was a tough call deciding on the last pick. Granted, guys like Penguin, Hush, Professor Pyg, Ra’s al Ghul, and Scarecrow are great villains, but for me, this is a villain who, despite appearances, should NEVER be taken lightly in terms of overall threat level, and is really hard to hate, given her circumstances. Mary Dahl, an actress born with a condition that kept her from growing past the physical stature of a little girl, she became the sitcom character Baby Doll, until the show was cancelled and she eventually was set on a life of crime due to general reactions to her appearance. She came very close to murdering her castmates in an explosion, but was stopped by Batman. And I’m not gonna lie here, people: This episode of Batman: The Animated Series might possibly have the saddest ending to a DCAU production EVER. Don’t believe me? Well…you’ve been warned, people.

…I warned ya. And frankly, I’m not really sure why she was never used in the comics. Despite her obvious flaws, she’s inventive, creative, manipulative, and has a mean streak longer than…Yeah, I’m not using the short jokes. That’s a good way to get smacked. I’d kinda like to see her tussle with Babs one of these days in the comics. But, if not, I can always look back on this episode with fond, albeit sad, memories.

Anyway, those were my Top 12 Bat Villains. Got a favourite who’s not on here? Leave a comment below, and I will see you guys next time. Ja né!