Why The Pokémon Anime And I Are STILL Divorced (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AND SPOILERS AHEAD WITH NO PROOFREADING)

So, I was gonna say something about a lot of what I’m going to talk about here a while ago. However, because my proofreader, N. Harmonik, doesn’t like spoilers and refuses to watch subtitled episodes of shows that have an official English dub, I opted not to. But now, because of something else that’s come up that’s related to it, which I will also address, I’ve decided to just go ahead and get my thoughts out for everyone to hear, and just not have it be proofread. I suppose I could’ve found someone else to tag in for this one article, but I opted not to on the grounds that it might be kinda funny to just let this go through as is. So, enjoy reading my rant without a grammar and spelling filter, and feel free to point out all the ways I messed up later. ^_^

Anyway, you’ll recall that three years ago, almost to the DAY, I announced that I came to the realization that I hated the Pokémon anime and I was officially divorcing it. Now, here’s the thing: While I don’t actively watch it anymore, I AM aware of some of the stuff that happens on the show, and I DID watch a few of the new episodes, particularly the Kalos League Conference. In fact, I will go so far as to admit that I decided, if Ash had beaten Alain and won the Kalos League, regardless of what happened afterward, I would go back and rewatch everything I missed from when I stopped watching the show. I was very entertained by the Kalos League. And, as an aside, I really like the Japanese theme, XY&Z. I thought it was great… … …and then they fucked up. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t that just the story of this show for the past several years?

So, obviously, the big way they fucked up was that Ash lost in the finals. Now, my thinking of why Ash should’ve won was because, as far as I can tell, there are no more Gyms in Sun & Moon, so this was pretty much his last chance to win a League Conference. Also, this would be a great year to do it. It’s the 20th Anniversary of the original games, and the 19th Anniversary of the anime, meaning we could see a big change going into the 20th Anniversary of the show to shake things up. In addition, looking at what happened in hindsight, from a narrative perspective, it would make far more sense for Ash to win and then find himself facing off against Team Flare. But, to be frank, that’s not the reason a lot of people wanted to see him win. They wanted to see him win because they were tired of 19 years of Ash LOSING. And what happened? He lost again.

Now, with all of that said, when everyone else was reacting in sheer rage and anger, I have to admit to feeling a degree of desire to troll these people. Why? Because they were saying stuff like “The anime is officially dead” and “Gary was right all along, Ash really IS a loser”, and so on. And I began to laugh my fat ass off, because these people are only JUST NOW reaching the same conclusions I did three years ago. The anime has been dead for a LONG time now, people. It only continues to exist as a means to advertise the games, and even then, it does a piss-poor job of it a lot of the time. And frankly, people are pissed about this loss, but I gotta level with you all: This is NOT the worst thing the anime has ever done. It FEELS like it because of the timing and just how long this has gone on, but it’s not. Alain beating Ash? I don’t agree with it, but they were close enough matched that I could see it happening, and I do actually care a smidgen about Alain as a character. Now, compare to Tobias, who had no real story or personality to speak of and existed specifically for the sole purpose of making sure Ash lost. In fact, not only did Tobias beat Ash, he then went on to defeat his last opponent in the finals with even less difficulty, meaning Ash surely would’ve won the Sinnoh League Conference had Tobias never shown up. So no, comparatively, Ash losing to Alain in a REALLY close, hard-fought match that pushed both to give their best is not even close to being as bad as what happened with Tobias. Also, as a side note, when it comes to the whole Gary thing, if Ash really IS a loser, Ash actually surpassed Gary YEARS ago, so what does that make him?

So, I guess what I’m saying is that the Kalos League Conference didn’t piss me off so much as it left me disappointed, because it was good and it could’ve been great. And I will admit that everything that happened with Team Flare afterward was pretty dire and gripping, even if you knew going in that Team Flare was going to lose. That said, it comes off as kind of dumb that Lysandre can take on both of the Kalos League finalists 2-on-1. It’s like, why didn’t HE enter the tournament in that case? But no, I wasn’t pissed off by that… … …No, I was pissed off by what happened today in the anime.

Before I get into that, though, I wanna explain my idea of what they could’ve done for Sun & Moon. My idea was, to shake up the status quo a bit, to have Pikachu get sick before Ash is about to go to Alola. It’s not life threatening or anything like that, and he will recover, but Ash will need to postpone his trip if he wants to stay with his buddy while he recovers. However, Pikachu insists that Ash go and that he’ll catch up to him as soon as he can, and until then, Greninja is volunteering to go with Ash to Alola. So Ash goes, and then, after a few Trials, he manages to obtain a Z-Ring with the Electrium Z inserted. Then Pikachu recovers, rejoins the team, and has his brand new Z-Move to boot.

Now, spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen today’s episode, that is most definitely not going to happen. Why? Because Greninja, who I consider to be the best Water-type Pokémon that Ash has ever had on his team, who possesses one of the best win-loss records of any Pokémon Ash has ever had, who has a special transformation technique exclusive to itself that makes the bond between it and Ash into a whole new kind of power, and who will likely go down in history as one of the all-time best main character Pokémon of the entire anime, was RELEASED. And what’s astounding to me is that this is a move where the writers should’ve known going in that this was going to piss people off, because they’ve done it before and it’s almost ALWAYS resulted in a negative reaction from the fans, but they did it anyway because they’re FOOLS.

So, let’s get some arguments for this decision out of the way, because I know some people are gonna debate this. First off, Ash is not getting Greninja back, and if he is, it’ll only be a short-term thing. Name a single time he’s ever released (not put in training, not sent to Professor Oak’s, but RELEASED) a Pokémon that he then got back full-time. The answer is ZERO. Speaking of, I probably SHOULD be pissed that Goodra went back to the wetlands, but I knew going into the Kalos League Conference that Goodra was only back short-term, so it doesn’t really bother me as much. It’s still dumb, but whatever. Secondly, I know the reason he left was to protect Kalos. It’s still stupid. How come? Because its best technique in combat was its ability to become Ash-Greninja, and it CANNOT DO THAT ALONE. And third, with Ash going to Alola with just Pikachu, simply leaving Greninja at Professor Oak’s would make zero sense, so they had to come up with a reason why Greninja physically could not come. I reply to such argument as follows: Not only is it still a stupid reason because of stuff I just said, but it’s also inserted for the SPECIFIC INTENTION OF MAKING ASH WEAKER, when all we’ve wanted for 19 years was for Ash to finally WIN!

And now I gotta address where we’re going with the anime: Sun & Moon. A DRASTIC change to the anime style. Not a BAD one, I wanna make that clear, but a pretty drastic one. No more Gyms as far as I can tell, meaning no League to challenge, meaning this will make for a very different season. Ash going to SCHOOL, of all things. And, one positive I can give, Ash getting a Z-Ring. Honestly, I like that, since it was odd to me that Ash missed out on gaining a Mega Ring, especially he had a few different Pokémon who could Mega Evolve, one of which had JUST RETURNED TO HIS TEAM PREVIOUSLY.

Now, there are people bashing on the premise and the art style and just how different the Sun & Moon arc looks. I wanna make something clear: None of those things bothers me all that much. A new art style? Hey, it helps give this season its own identity and furthers to distinguish it from the past few seasons. Same thing with the new premise. Hell, I don’t even mind the school setting all that much. Sure, it seems like an odd thing to go with for the long-term when we’ve already seen the main characters going to schools as part of short-term story arcs, but it could world. Think of the potential world-building this could do by focusing on that. None of that bothers me. What bothers me, and what ultimately breaks this deal with me, is that the main protagonist is STILL ASH FUCKING KETCHUM! And what’s worse, not only is he now going back to school after 19 years of losing, but now, with the new art style, he actually looks YOUNGER. So now, all these factors I just praised as being a help to this series now instead hinder it, all because of Ash’s presence as the main character. For fuck’s sake, writers, you didn’t even have to outright get rid of him, either! You could’ve instead have him brought on as a teacher (or teacher’s aide), and have him bestow some wisdom on young Trainers getting started with their new lives. You could’ve had him reflect on his life and his decisions throughout the anime while teaching these kids. You could’ve even justified his continued losses by having him explain that, even after losing the League Conferences over and over, it still helped to hone him as a person and a Trainer, and have him even realize that he’s now exactly the type of person these kids can relate to. Give us some Goddamn character development! You realize that Ash is still basically the exact same little twit he’s been for YEARS now?!

It’s at this point I have to address the simple truth of the matter: This show only exists because it has the Pokémon name attached to it. If this was any other property, I guarantee this show would not last 19 years. It’s just not possible. And to everyone just now getting pissed off, I say this to you all: You are several years late to the party, but you are welcome nonetheless, because something has got to be done about this show. At this point, there is only one way to salvage Ash as a character, and that is to reboot him back to square one. Everything we’ve seen of him up until this point? Never happened. He’s a brand new character and doesn’t have any of the baggage of his previous journeys. This way, you can build him back up to where he can eventually achieve what he originally set out to do: To be the best like no one ever was. But unless enough people actually start voicing this opinions and explaining how and why the show needs to improve, nothing is ever going to change. Ash will continue to be the main protagonist, and will continue to be a Goddamn loser.

And you wanna know what the saddest part of all of this is? When Ash lost the Kalos League, I asked myself “Why do I still care? Why am I STILL ranting about this fucking show? Why am I not just 100% apathetic towards it?” Well, the answer is simple: Because I want to watch a GOOD Pokémon show. I see what this show has done in the past, is doing in the present, and could do in the future, and I see how much potential it has. This show could be so much better and still work as an ad for the games with even the SLIGHTEST bit of effort. But that’s not what we get. For years, it is consistently not what we get. When this show started, it had something the games at the time were lacking: Real story. Characters we care a lot about. Back then, the games didn’t really have the best stories. Now, however, we’ve clearly hit the switch. The games now have better story and writing, whereas the anime, for all intents and purposes, is still in the same position it’s been in for years. And no matter what you have to say about that position, my opinion remains that it could be better, and it honestly feels somedays like the writers of this show have gone out of their way to ensure it doesn’t.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the product as of now. What do you all think of this, though? Lemme know in the comments below, and hey, remember that the main anime is not the only Pokémon related story out there. You don’t HAVE to watch it. In fact, I think if everyone stopped watching it, watched the specials like Origins and Generations, played the games more, read the manga more, etc., it might even help move things along. Ja né!

700th Blog Post! + Jyger’s Favourite 5 – Memories of Five of My Most Viewed Articles

Hey guys! It’s the 700th blog post!!!

So, after 700 posts on this blog, I’ve naturally assembled a lot of memories over the years. And, for some reason, several articles I’ve done on here seem to get way more views than others, still getting viewed even to this day. In fact, I wanna show you something. Here’re the ten most frequent search engine terms to lead people to my blog…

…and here are some of the highest viewed articles on my blog.

So, given some of the obvious preferences for some of these posts by my fans, I thought I’d go ahead and look back on five of them, my memories of them, and if my overall thoughts and feelings on the topics of each one still hold up. So, let’s start off with probably the most infamous article on my blog…

#1 – “…Is Elesa Really THAT Hot???” from Feb. 4th, 2012

Oh my God, this frigging article. XD I honest to God go back and forth in my mind on a regular basis if I ever should’ve opened my big mouth and asked people why there was so much hentai out there of this character from Pokémon Black and White. And, because I posted an article with the words Elesa and hentai in them, naturally, it led to a lot of people coming to my site specifically to look for it. It got to the point where, two years later, I finally snapped and decided to post another article discussing it, figuring I’d either quell it for good or get a shit-ton of views for it. Given that it’s the internet…I really shouldn’t have been surprised as to which ended up happening, and I don’t even think I need to tell you which one it was. Still, speaking of Pokémon articles where I go back and forth on if I should’ve ever brought it up…

#2 – “Ash’s Best Team of 6 Pokémon” from Feb. 10th, 2013

I am shocked, absolutely SHOCKED, that I didn’t get death threats from fans, considering how many people argued my point of not having Charizard on the team. Like, you’d think I’d killed their pet and made them watch as I did it. lol But yeah, looking back on this article, I will say that… … …yeah, Charizard probably should be on there. In fact, I’m actually planning on doing a revised version of the list in the near future, as soon as a certain rumoured Pokémon becomes part of Ash’s roster. Still, what was it that changed my mind? Well, surprisingly enough, it was when Charizard rejoined the team near the end of Best Wishes. Yeah, the arc that turned me off to the anime, because it nonetheless managed to redeem Charizard for what I thought was an absolutely astonishingly pathetic last showing beforehand. Still, expect to see Infernape and a few other of Ash’s better Pokémon on a list of honourable mentions when the revised list comes out.

#3 – “What’s A Paladin Rant” from June 10th, 2012

I can only imagine what it must be like for Noah Antwiler, who must STILL to this day get people asking him what a Paladin is, when even I’m still getting people checking out that article of mine discussing the matter. But I do get why. It’s just one of the dumbest things you’ll ever hear someone say in a video game, when you factor in everything that everyone in-game knows at this point. Seriously, roll my vid again.

Oh, and because I like tooting my own horn, I’d like to once again point out that I was the first to use homjakilla’s song in that video. lol But yeah, one of the stupidest fucking lines in a video game EVER… … …BUT, at least it led to probably the most badass line Spoony’s ever said.

#4 – “N. Harmonik’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite Oggy and the Cockroaches Episodes” from Dec. 30th, 2013

…There was an idea. The idea was that, because N. Harmonik had done so much for me, proofreading damned near every article I’ve ever written, and a lot of my stories, that she should have her own article on the blog. So, basically, this was a late Christmas present to her. Plus, while I personally was not that big a fan of Oggy and the Cockroaches, I nonetheless saw the potential it had as a show and how many people liked it that I thought it deserved some additional exposure. As such, I had Aibo (I call her Aibo because it means partner) do not one but two articles about the show. And because her articles have gotten so many views by you all, I’ve decided to go ahead and give her some space here to say thank you. 🙂

I thank all of you for reading these two articles I created, whether or not you’re OatC fans! Oh and please check out my fics: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/632668/

#5 – “Zelda Chronology: Ghirahim is just CREEPY!” from Jan. 27th, 2012

Lastly, an article that was part of my short-lived Zelda Chronology series. As one of the articles from my first year as a blogger, I suppose it makes sense that it’d also be one of my highest viewed, and considering the subject matter…yeah, not shocked it’s this one that gets all the attention. I still maintain that Ghirahim’s oddity as a character is what makes him so memorable, though, and am glad to see him return for games like Hyrule Warriors. And really, no one should be shocked that I connected him to Lady Gaga when you consider that he’s a demon from Hell and is going to kill us all. XD Unfortunately, because of YouTube copyright laws, the video in the article had to be taken down, and will never be posted on there again… … … …The good news is, I decided to post it elsewhere. ^_^

And that’s my 700th article, everybody. Thanks for reading along, and be sure to continue to do so as we venture into the future of more escapist fiction and absurd reality. And lastly, I just wanna thank everybody that has gotten me to this point. Of course, N. Harmonik, my wonderful proofreader who has appeared in some of my vlogs. DorkynProudofit, who did the Man of Steel vlogs with me. PinkRangerWannabe, who co-wrote ‘Lewis Lovhaug Is Not Your Slave’. Morgan Meryl, who did the logo for this blog years ago. Emmybomber, who suggested I talk about moms in comics. And I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot more, but lastly, I wanna cover a lot of people who have inspired me in different ways throughout my various endeavors over the years: Scott Snyder, Lewis Lovhaug (AKA Linkara), Emile Rosales-Birou (AKA Chuggaaconroy), Gail Simone, Charles Sonnenburg (AKA SF Debris), Rosen Rose of the Poison Ivy League, Doug Walker (AKA The Nostalgia Critic), Diane Darcy (AKA helenawaynehuntress), Paul Heyman (no, seriously, lol), G. Willow Wilson, and Justin Carmical (AKA the late great JewWario). Thank you all for being the people you are, as it helped me to be who I am. Ja né!

Updated Dream Remake For Pokémon Yellow

So, a couple of years ago, I posted an article about how I would personally remake Pokémon Yellow, detailing all the ways it could be done easily using Generation V mechanics… … …and then, the very next day, Pokémon X & Y were revealed. How this happened, I have no idea. My only guess is that Nintendo has a camera set up in my brain to keep a constant track of my thoughts. It would certainly explain how the trailer for Pokémon GO clearly resembled dreams I used to have of how Pokémon would look in real life. But yeah, because next year is the 20th Anniversary of Pokémon, I’ve decided to update how I’d remake Yellow Version, AKA the Special Pikachu Edition, in the current generation. As such, some of these are gonna be repeated from last time, so just bear with me…

#1 – Generation VI Mechanics

Basically, this includes the current type charts, movepools, battle styles and mechanics, and, of course, Mega Evolution. In other words, this version of Pokémon Yellow would take place in the same universe as XYORAS. And speaking of stuff you can do in this generation, especially as it pertains to the mascot of this game…

#2 – Include Cosplay Pikachu

Because why not? Hell, you could even build on the concept by including more costumes it can wear with more moves it can learn, making it so it can be either gender, and having the costumes become available to you in different towns and cities. You could even bring back Surfing Pikachu and Balloon Pikachu by making them costumes. And hey, since we brought up the costumes…

#3 – Include Pokémon Contests

Again, why not? The anime already put Contest Halls in the Kanto Region, so why not include them in this game? After all, we already brought Contests back for ORAS. Might as well take advantage of that.

#4 – Use HGSS’ System For Pokémon Following You

As I stated before, Pikachu being outside the ball for the duration of the journey is a must. As such, what I’d do is tweak the system from HeartGold/SoulSilver so that the one that follows you is always Pikachu… … …unless you box it, of course. I’d also bring back the little pictures from Pokémon Yellow, and include a few more, like maybe it making its elastic faces from the show. Lastly, I’d make a special change to the bicycle in case Pikachu is in the party: A little basket in the front for it to ride in. XD

#5 – Update the Regional Dex

Again, the Pokémon found would obviously include all the original 151, that’s a given. However, rather than force you to gain the National Dex, I think I’d toss in the other Pokémon that evolve to and from the original batch. Speaking of evolving, though…

#6 – New Mega Evolutions

It just seems like the time to make a couple more Gen 1 Pokémon Mega Evolve. Specifically, I’d like to see Butterfree get one so it can keep up with Beedrill. I just find it odd that it didn’t get it in the first place.

#7 – Side-quests Galore, In Particular With Misty and Brock

Seriously, I would include tons of side-quests. Stuff you don’t HAVE to do, but are fun, rewarding, and add to the experience of the game. Stuff like the Contests Halls I mentioned earlier, or perhaps new ways to include Move Tutors, by having the new moves be rewards for helping people out. I also think that some would involve Brock and Misty, since they follow Ash in the original series. Maybe even a series of events where you can actually date Misty or Brock, depending on which gender you play as. And speaking of…

#8 – Remodel Female Protagonist To Look Like Ashley

… … …Because it’d be too damned funny, okay? XD With that said, if you don’t like that idea…

#9 – Bring Back The Clothing Options From X & Y

I don’t understand why this was left out of ORAS. It really makes me worry that it was an XY thing only, and I don’t want it to be. And, of course, since a lot of Yellow is based off the anime, I’m thinking there could be new clothing options based on clothes and costumes worn throughout it.

#10 – Cameos from the Characters Of the Day

I know that a few Trainers you run into have had their dialogue and teams altered in Yellow Version to better resemble the characters of the day from the original series, but making their appearances a bit closer and just including a lot more of them would be sweet. And speaking of trainers from the show…

#11 – Adjusted Teams For Gym Leaders And Other Important Characters

For those that have always wondered about this, allow me to explain: Pokémon Yellow was released before the original run of the series, AKA the Kanto League, was finished. As such, not everyone in the games that were also in the anime have the same teams. In particular, Blaine’s team in the game bears little to no resemblance to his anime team. Granted, I have no idea what Rhydon was doing on the team in the anime anyway, but no reason to leave out Magmar. Also, what is going on with Gary’s team in the game? And yes, I call him Gary in the Yellow Version, since he’s very clearly supposed to be Gary and not Blue. Just saying, a few modifications are probably necessary. Perhaps Gary’s Eevee could become Umbreon, and then he could also catch a Starter Pokémon based on the same pre-requisites as was necessary to determine what Eevee would evolve into (so if you lost/skipped both of the first battles with him, he’d get Squirtle, if you won one and then lost/skipped the other, he’d get Charmander, and if you beat him both times, he’d get Bulbasaur).

#12 – The Sevii Islands & The Orange Crew

Getting back to stuff you don’t have to do but make for neat additions, since the Sevii Islands were already in FRLG, I’d just go with them instead of the Orange Islands from the anime. Still, I would also include the Orange Crew as boss trainers you can battle. Though, I might wanna change Drake’s name since there’s already a Drake in the games. Maybe something like Arthur or Ryu, or his Japanese name, Yuji.

#13 – More Battles With Jessie and James

Seriously, these two appeared in damned near every episode of the original series. You know how many times you battled them in the game? Four. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. lol Also, Meowth could be fully fleshed out as a character, Team Rocket could be battled in Double Battles instead of Single, and a few more of their Pokémon that they caught could be added to their in-game roster.

#14 – Include The Pokémon World Tournament

Because this mode was FREAKING AWESOME. Being able to battle against other Gym Leaders and Champions from other games is a sweet idea. Plus, you could include other characters that have appeared in the anime since the original series, like Paul, Tyson, Tobias, Virgil, Harrison, and more. Also, just to be cute (and to troll people), I’d replace Red with Ritchie. XD

Remember me, assholes? >:)

And that’s all I have in mind for now. Leave your comments and any ideas of what you’d do with the game or any other Pokémon games you’d remake. Ja né!

Why I Am Officially Divorcing The Pokémon Anime (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AHEAD)

…So, you may have noticed that I haven’t done a review of the Pokémon anime in a long time. It’s taken a long time to admit to this, but after watching Best Wishes with my friend N. Harmonik, and she can attest to how many times I’ve brought up what’s wrong with the anime as of late, and clearly seeing that no, Ash has NOT grown up in the new series, and no, he probably never will, and seeing that every season from now until whenever the show ends will likely be ‘second verse, same as the first’…I hate this show. I hate this show so much. It is everything that an anime should NEVER be: Characters do not grow, there is little to no story, and there is very little resolution to the characters’ journeys because, at the beginning of every new series, they hit the reset button. It’s not even really an anime, it’s a half-hour advertisement for the games, and when the Pokémon games have had better stories than the anime has, that’s a BAD thing.

If yer wondering what exactly it is that has broken the camel’s back, allow to explain. There is a movie that has come out recently that involves Mewtwo going up against Genesect. This was the movie I was actually really looking forward to, because this was the battle that seemed practically gift-wrapped to the writers: A Pokémon with a very similar back-story to Mewtwo, but with a severe type advantage. And when I saw that there was more than one of them, and they’d be going up against a Mega Evolved Mewtwo, my jaw dropped and I said “That’s gonna be AWESOME!”

Now, as my excitement wore down a little and I learned more about Mega Evolution, the question then was, “Well, how does Mewtwo Mega Evolve? In the games, that requires a Pokémon to be holding a Mega Stone, and to have a close enough a connection to a Trainer with a Keystone that they achieve this new evolved form.” So then I thought, “Well, the connection between Ash and Mewtwo is pretty strong, after their meetings in the first movie and in Mewtwo Returns, so maybe they find the stones and Mewtwo evolves that way?”…And then the prequel special happened, where it was revealed that Mewtwo just had the ability on its own to do this. Also, since the release of the movie, it has been revealed this is NOT the same Mewtwo. As a matter of fact, Mewtwo is actually voiced by a woman in this movie.

… … …Writers, animators, editors, whoever works on the movies and/or the anime. You had this AMAZING story just BEGGING to be written, where Mewtwo reaches that point where it knows it can trust humans, and upon doing so, discovers this whole new power that it never knew existed. You had this story that would’ve connected all the way back to the first movie and actually helped to make that raped-me-in-the-ass reset button ending WORK. But you didn’t, when it was easy, because you don’t care enough to do so, and if you don’t care, why the hell should the audience care? Why should I ever give a flying fuck about a show that never changes, never shows the characters grow, and never lets them enjoy any kind of achievement? And before ANYONE says Orange Islands or Battle Frontier, those stories and how those accomplishments played out were clearly tailored to let Ash win without actually becoming ANYTHING more, and then IMMEDIATELY, on both occasions, saw him get smacked back down by a guy he, by all rights, surpassed LONG AGO. And if your concern is that letting Ash grow up and become a Master might alienate your primary demographic, that being kids, might I recommend you read the manga and see how they handle it there.

Lemme bring up an alternative to this: Pokémon Origins. Now, the English dub isn’t out yet, and despite some fears of what they do with the English dub, I still plan to see it, but just from watching the four episodes in their original format, I can tell you that those four episodes are better than what we’ve gotten out of the past four seasons of the main anime. Now, it has the same curse as the anime has, in that it’s pretty much an advertisement for the games. Pretty sure that’s the sole reason for including Mega Charizard X. Where it’s different…well, first off, it’s for fans of the original games, so it’s clearly tailored towards a slightly older audience, while still being just tame enough that kids can watch it. Second, you can tell that the people who worked on it actually…what’s the word…? Oh yeah, gave a shit. They WANTED this to be good. Third, Red actually BEATS the Elite Four, becomes champ, and completes the PokéDex…well, the Kanto Regional PokéDex, anyway. He’s gonna be PISSED when he finds out there’s another hundred Pokémon just a little bit west of him. lol Oh, and while the animation is still good and keeps up with stuff you see nowadays, it isn’t SO bright and flashy that it gives me a headache, unlike THAT OTHER SHOW.

So yeah, sorry to disappoint, but I’m officially DONE with the Pokémon anime, at least how it is now. It sucks beyond redemption. It sucks beyond the ability to be fixed with the current team working it. I’m just DONE with it, and until something is done to fix it, which will not happen without anything short of a fucking miracle, that is my final word on the subject. Bottom line, if you want a great story involving the characters from the Pokémon games, read the manga, watch Pokémon Origins, hell, even some fanfics out there handle the characters better than the show does nowadays. In fact, I think I WILL go re-watch Pokémon Origins now, just for fun, and just ‘cuz I’m sick of complaining about the anime. Ja né!

Related articles

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• Pokemon Origins – First Impressions (themorwik.wordpress.com)
• POKEMON ORIGINS Anime Is Now Online! (geektyrant.com)

Is Ash Older in the Pokémon XY Anime?

So, ever since we got our first look at the Pokémon anime‘s XY series, a lot of people have asked the same question: Does Ash look older?

And no, I’m NOT just talking about the fact that he has teeth now, although that IS an improvement. Just look at him! He looks taller and a bit lankier. His hair seems a bit different, like it’s added some length. So, as far as my own personal answer goes…Yeah, he looks older. However, that brings up a much more important question for me: Did Ash finally GET older?

Now, anybody that’s been watching the show since it started has taken notice of this, especially since Best Wishes started with the declaration that Ash was still 10 years old. And, I’m gonna try to avoid spoilers here by keeping names out, but SOMEBODY uses the Kanto-Johto Magnet Train in the second to last episode of Best Wishes, and the last time we ever saw that Magnet Train, they said it would be a year since it would be finished. That was a LOOOOONNNGG time ago, so we can no longer make the argument that Ash is completely these Regional Championships in a few months, AT LEAST ONE YEAR HAS PASSED. And this is not the first time that the passage of time has been addressed in the show, and yet, Ash remains 10.

And before anyone theorizes, tossing out crap like the coma theory, lemme put this to rest: The reason Ash is 10 is because the writers intentionally keep him 10 to appeal to the main demographic for the show, whether it makes any sense or not. It’s extremely weak logic directing that decision, but that’s the reason. If you want the whole story and all forms of evidence and arguments, I suggest you watch TheJWittz’ video on the matter, which I will give the link to below.

Speaking of which, in said video, he brought up the possibility and potential for a time skip. And I’m not saying that IS what’s happened, but it sure as heck looks like it. And honestly, I kinda hope so. The longer that he goes without growing up, the less people will tolerate him. He’s been at this for a while, he should NOT still be such a screw-up. And hey, there’s some hope on the horizon, since one of the first episodes apparently features him battling a Garchomp on a high rooftop. And y’know what? At least the opening promises to be more badass than Best Wishes did. lol

So, what do you guys think? Vote or comment below, and be sure to check out JWittz’ take on all of this as well (Hey, I like co-operating with my fellow Pokémon fans, gimme a break), and we’ll see what happened when the XY series begins. Ja né!

Related articles

• Ash Ketchum’s Age – TheJWittz’ Pokémon Fact of The Day (youtube.com)
• Minecraft player recreates original Pokemon region (polygon.com)
• Pokémon XY Anime Promo Reveals New Characters (bagogames.com)
• Generation 6 Baby! (maddmoni.wordpress.com)
• The Original Pokemon Games, Recreated In Minecraft. Wow. (kotaku.com)
• Pokemon Mega Evolutions Leaked? Plus Pokemon: Genesect and the Legend Awakened and New X and Y Anime (reecewhiskey.wordpress.com)
• New Pokemon Anime Starring Red From Pokemon Red & Blue Announced (Trailer) (mynintendonews.com)
• Okay, Real Talk. What’s Going On With Ash Ketchum’s Age? (kotaku.com)
• Pokémon: The Origin – A Missed Opportunity? (bagogames.com)
• The Beginning of the End of Best Wishes (ibelieveachieveinspire.wordpress.com)

Jyger’s Rant – Mystery at the Lighthouse Review

Well, welcome to the first of my text-only reviews! I’m basically gonna follow the same pattern as before, doing animation and tokusatsu, but since these aren’t videos, I guess I don’t need to worry about cut-off dates anymore. However, I do feel the need to get caught up on my Pokémon anime reviews, so let’s start off with Mystery at the Lighthouse.

Okay, really quick thing I need to get outta the way first, this episode is kind of a classic, what with this being the thirteenth episode and all. And God forbid I should be allowed to talk crap about one of the classic episodes, right? WRONG. If an episode of a show has legitimate problems with it, I’m gonna bring it up. I don’t care if it’s a classic or not. You can still like it, that’s not the problem at all. I’m just saying there are some things that require a closer look at. So for today, what I’m gonna do is give a quick run-through of the plot first, then present my points about what I didn’t like about it afterwards. Feel free to agree or disagree, it’s just my opinion, and all I ask is that you honestly think about it.

So the episode starts with Ash, Misty, and Brock traversing a Route on their way to Vermillion City, and we get a brief recap of how Ash now has two badges and a full team of six Pokémon: Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Butterfree, Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. And let’s be honest folks, when you got Pokémon Yellow, you tried playing it with that exact same team, right? Misty argues that Ash didn’t earn his badges in that they were given to him by people who felt sorry for him, and that he didn’t catch his Pokémon, they followed him. Ash decides to prove he can catch a Pokémon, and so he runs off looking for new Pokémon, eventually finding a Krabby at the beach. He catches it, but the Poké Ball disappears. Misty and Brock explain that when a Trainer catches more than 6 Pokémon, the additional Pokémon is sent to the person who gave that Trainer his first Pokémon, AKA Professor Oak. He can do a swap using a function on the Pokédex, but doesn’t want to and would rather find a phone to call and make sure Krabby’s okay. Fortunately, as is often the case with these guys, there just happens to be a lighthouse nearby. The owner of the lighthouse is a man named Bill, who allows them to call Professor Oak, confirming that Ash’s Krabby is doing just fine and that Gary has also caught a Krabby. Much to Ash’s amazement/annoyance, it’s frigging gigantic. Professor Oak asks Bill to give the group a few lessons on Pokémon, since apparently Bill knows even more about Pokémon than Oak himself.

After a brief situation where they have to help Bill get out of a Kabuto costume that he got himself stuck in, Bill tells them all about Pokémon and humans and how there’s a meaning for us all and how we should all get along, yada yada yada, when he brings up that there’s one Pokémon he’s searching for, supposedly the biggest Pokémon known to man. Once again, wonder of wonders, the Pokémon just happens to show up that night, but Team Rocket learn of it and try to capture it, attacking it with bazookas. The Pokémon smashes up the upper part of the lighthouse and wipes the floor with Team Rocket, leaving the lighthouse and going back out to sea despite Bill’s pleas. By the next morning though, Bill is happy to have seen it at all and is hopeful it may come back one day as Ash and Co. leave.

Now that general plot on its own works alright, but there’re a few things that REALLY bother me. To start, let’s look at the very first and quite possibly the biggest thing about this episode that kinda hits my berserk button.

#1 – Misty Is Kind Of A Bitch In This Episode

So according to Misty, Ash didn’t earn either of his badges and all of his Pokémon just kinda followed him around, basically calling him the very crappiest like no one ever was. You know, I remember back in the day thinking about how funny it was when Misty would slap the idiot Ash down, but nowadays I can actually look at her standpoint and realise how full of crap she is. First off, regarding the badges, Ash would’ve beaten Brock but chose not to finish the battle since Brock’s Onix getting weakened by the sprinklers going off was just an accident, and he would’ve beaten YOU, Misty, if Pikachu had been the one to battle to begin with and MAY have beaten you anyway if Team Rocket hadn’t intervened. Now about his Pokémon, Pikachu was given to him as his starter, but he did legit catch Pidgeotto and Butterfree, who was a Caterpie at the time, in the wild. Bulbasaur chose to follow him, but only AFTER Ash proved himself by defeating and catching him, and Charmander and Squirtle chose to follow him after Ash proved his good character to them and that he would be a kind and worthy trainer to them. Oh, and it’s made SO much better in the dub where she has the major base in her voice that makes her sound REALLY condescending. And yeah, I called Misty a bitch. Let’s face it, in the early episodes of the show, she was a bitch! As much as people complain about Togepi on the show sometimes, some of Misty’s best character development came as a result of taking care of Togepi. At this point, her gimmick was that she loved Water Pokémon and bringing Ash down whether he deserved it or not, I.E. being a bitch. I’ve got more I could say, but I’m saving that for a later episode.

#2 – The Pokédex’s Teleportation Function

I should probably take this moment to note that at no time is this function EVER used, rather that Ash makes switches using a transporter at the various Pokémon Centres, not unlike the PC Storage System from the games. It’s also worth noting that Best Wishes changed it so that the Poké Balls weren’t teleported away after they were caught past the 6 Pokémon limit, they instead were locked down until enough Pokémon were teleported to whomever was storing them for the Trainer to leave them with 6. And as much as I’d love to bitch and moan about Best Wishes again…I actually like that idea. Makes more sense than them immediately teleporting ON THEIR OWN. Granted, it goes against how the game works, but I think if we’ve established ANYTHING above all else regarding the anime, the anime and the game are not the same thing.

#3 – The Doors To Bill’s Lighthouse

This is more of a technical problem than anything, and one that people have pointed out before, but I felt the need to add my two cents as well. First off, I’ll point out that in the next full shot of the doors we see…

…that the arrangement of some the Pokémon carved on them is different. But that’s not the big issue I have, it’s one of the Pokémon found on the door: Mewtwo. What is Mew-frakking-two doing on there? If my understanding of the anime’s timeline is correct, Mewtwo should’ve been, at best, a foetus growing in a test tube in the labs on New Island. There is no way that Bill would know of its existence unless he was in on that little deal, which would kinda paint everything that happens in this episode in a new, more horrifying light.

#4 – All The Dub Changes

Okay, I kind of alluded to this earlier with Misty, but in the original, she just asked if Ash getting his full team of six should really count as him catching them or not, to which he says it was close enough. Meanwhile in the dub, she outright tells him he’s wrong and that they all followed him, which I already explained is bullcrap. Then there’s this stupid running gag they added involving Oak and Bill having cooks who went on vacation that left them having to make tofu meals. Umm, what? Why is that funny? Is it because tofu sounds weird? I’m gonna guess that was their reasoning since all other Japanese food names were replaced in the dub, as a part of the dub’s writers’ constant need to remove all trace elements of Japan from the show…and failing miserably.

#5 – The Changes To Bill From The Games To The Anime

Okay, I know that characters who were in the game and were brought over to the show have been changed up. Still, they had SOME aspect of their video game counterparts in them. This version of Bill is NOTHING like his video game counterpart. He lives in a lighthouse instead of a cottage, he has green hair instead of brown, and he’s some kind of Pokémon expert and philosopher instead of the inventor of the PC system. In fact, I don’t get why they don’t use that, considering what happened in the opening act of the episode with Ash catching his seventh Pokémon. And that kind of leads me into the big one…

#6 – Bill Is A Frakking MORON!

And I’d like to break down exactly what I mean in this very simple list.

1. Why does Bill not know what Pokémon the giant is? He’s supposed to be an expert, he has holographic images of every one of the original 150 he can put up around his room, and yet he doesn’t know that’s a Dragonite. Hell, the Pokédex fricking makes mention of Dragonite in the very next episode! Speaking of which, I call foul on that Dragonite being the biggest Pokémon ever known, I’m certain we’ve seen bigger in the show.
2. He says that the Pokémon is the last of its kind, even though we know that’s bunk. Now, I’ve heard people suggest that he simply meant the last of its kind of that size, but considering he never refers to it by species, I’m going to assume the more likely answer is that Bill is an idiot.
3. He gets into a Kabuto costume where the only method of getting out of it is a button on the outside that he cannot reach while in the costume…I don’t even need to say anything else!

I mean, we’re supposed to believe that he’s smarter than Professor Oak? He comes across as a twit most of the time, and when he’s philosophising, it comes across as pretentious bunk. And don’t tell me “Well, c’mon Jyger. Should you really be so critical of a kids show?” Well first off, you can call me Jeff, we’re all friends here. Second, yes, it’s a kids show, but that doesn’t excuse stupidity. Kids shows can be kids shows and still be smartly written…And speaking of this being a kids show, I’d just like to say that I WOULD mention the bazookas in a kids show, but that seems more like something I should bring up looking at the series in general.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, how does this episode hold up? Well, as you can tell, there’s plenty wrong with it. Still, there are some genuinely cool moments, as well as some plain insane moments that Season 1 was known for. If you like it, fine, but I personally do not.

And that’s my thoughts on Mystery At The Lighthouse. Lemme know what you think of this text review, as next time I’m gonna be looking at a little something that was requested a while back: A two-parter from the Justice League cartoon called Hereafter. Ja né!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Non-Canon Pairings I Ship

Sorry if it seems like ‘second verse, same as the first’ around here, but I’ve kinda fallen into a comfortable routine with the way I’ve been blogging as of late. Also, I tend to just do whatever I feel compelled to do with my blog. Don’t worry though, I WILL get back to reviewing and Tales of Dumbassery. At any rate, in the spirit of the season of love, I’m gonna take a look at 5 Non-Canon pairings in fiction (be it comic books, cartoons, etc.) that I ship. Why? Because I’m BORED, okay? I’m stuck at home with a cold, and I had to do SOMETHING for Valentine’s Day, so here you are! XD I will say now though that if there’s anyone uncomfortable with some of these pairings, I apologise. If there’s anyone who  doesn’t approve of lesbian couplings, I will warn that there are some here, so if you don’t like, turn back now. With that said, here are 5 Non-Canon Pairings I Ship.

#1 – Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Yes, I’m a Flutterdash shipper, okay? I can’t help it, I just find that the characters balance each other out well and are adorable together. And yeah, the jokes/speculation about Rainbow Dash being a lesbian has been around pretty much since the show started, but I think the scene that proved how cute it was to me, and honestly made me believe it WAS canon for a while, was this:

Now earlier on, it seemed like Rainbow Dash saw Fluttershy as more of an annoyance than anything else. As time went by, however, it was becoming clearer how much she cared for her and wanted to help her out, in particular during Hurricane Fluttershy when she wanted to help her with her confidence. Likewise, Fluttershy seemed THRILLED to help Rainbow pick out a pet during May The Best Pet Win. There’s other little hints along the way too of them being more than friends, but seeing as how this is a show for little kids, I somehow doubt it’ll ever be canon.

#2 – Ash and Dawn (PearlShipping) from Pokémon

Okay, I know that the average long-term fan of the Pokémon anime was more a PokéShipper (Ash x Misty), but I actually prefer Ash with Dawn. I see them as equals who are constantly learning from each other, leaning on each other, and supporting each other. I find they have more in common, I find they get along better, and I just find them to be the cuter couple.

As for Ash x Misty, one of my problems with it was that hints of it seemed a bit more…forced. Like they were just there to tease the viewer, or on occasion to annoy the characters. Now, it’s been pretty much made canon that Misty liked Ash. This actually poses a problem for me, though, and that is simply why, if she liked him all that time, didn’t she SAY something? They were hanging out for how long? Let’s see, when they went back to Viridian City for Ash’s Gym Battle, they said that it’d been a year since they’d been there. That was approx. one season, and Misty left at the end of Master Quest, that was Season 5, so they were hanging out for 5 years??? 5 years, and she NEVER said anything. Misty, it’s the 21st Century. It’s perfectly okay for women to ask men out. And I know he’s kind of a twit, but if you spilled your heart out to Ash and told him how you felt, he’d if nothing else be understanding of your situation.

#3 – Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn from Batman/DC Comics

What’s odd about this one is that I thought for a while that it actually WAS canon. lol Don’t get me wrong, I know that Harley always eventually went back to her Mistah J, but I thought at times when they weren’t together she had an on again/off again relationship with Ivy. And considering that DC has been putting in more gay relationships in comics and that Harley recently had a fight almost to the death with Joker in the comics, I’m kinda surprised they don’t just greenlight this. And hey, even bad guys need some happiness in their lives, right?

#4 Adam Park and Tanya Sloan from Power Rangers Zeo

Again, I thought for a while in Zeo that they were gonna do this. When Tanya was having troubles, in particular when she broke up with her boyfriend, Adam was the first person who was there for her. A lot of times, they were seen hanging out and being close; I honestly thought that at some point, they actually would be made into a couple, which let’s face it, would be WAY better than the forced romance of Tommy and Kat that season. But I’m going to assume that they were instead best friends, and I guess that works too. I still ship this though, looking back on that season.

#5 – Colette and Presea (Prelette) from Tales of Symphonia

First off, because I’ve never had a chance to say this on my blog before now, I LOVE Tales of Symphonia. Are elements of the story completely original? Not exactly. Is it the greatest game I’ve ever played in my life? Probably not. But I still love this game and its cast. As for these two, I just find them freaking adorable. I love how desperate Presea is to save Colette when she gets kidnapped for the…how many times was that by then? I forget. And when they save her and Colette thanks Presea, that’s when Presea smiles for the first time. And of all the couples that could be made canon due to the choices of the player, I do wish it were possible to make this one.

And that’s my favourite non-canon pairings in fiction. Stay tuned though, as I plan to talk more about my favourite canon couples in anime, and in comic books. Ja né!

Ash’s Best Team of 6 Pokémon

So Ash has been the main protagonist of the Pokémon anime for a LONG time. Personally, I feel he’s been around for TOO long, but that’s my own opinion. Nonetheless, Ash has gathered quite the assortment of Pokémon from Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova. But a question that a lot of people have asked is “Which ones are his best?” Well, I don’t claim to know the answer to that. There’s just too many variables to consider, not to mention a large contingent of pissed off fans who would yell at me if I didn’t include certain old-school Pokémon of his. However, one question I have considered a lot is “If Ash were to assemble a team of six Pokémon for a full battle, which should he choose?” This I DO feel comfortable in answering, as these aren’t necessarily his strongest single battlers, but rather the ones that would have the best coverage in speed, strength, longevity, and type coverage. So here it is, my own personal opinion on Ash’s Best Team of 6 Pokémon  I’ll make my own cases for them and, as always, you’re free to make your own call on the matter at the end.

Pikachu

Yeah, this one IS kind of obvious. While Pikachu‘s overall staying power isn’t exactly the best, his ability to get in, hit hard, and get out has been a centrepiece of Ash’s battle strategy for years now. Plus, Pikachu has learned a number of tricks to make up for his shortcomings, like the mid-air spin dodge and counter-shield, as well as a number of combination and improvised attacks, like the Volt Tail and Electro Iron Tail, both moves taking his massive electrical power and using them to boost the already substantial power of his Iron Tail. His most notable accomplishments are his wins over Lt. Surge’s Raichu, Roxie’s Garbodor, Wattson’s whole team, Drake’s Dragonite, and Brendan’s Regice, and his tie against Tobias’ Latios.

Infernape

And I can already hear the fan boys weep that Infernape is on here instead of Charizard. I’m sorry, but Charizard’s x4 weakness to Rock type moves, his lack of team-work skills, and his last appearance featuring him losing to a Dusclops that frigging Bulbasaur was able to take down later makes him unreliable in a full battle. But, I suppose I should give Charizard honourable mention as one of Ash’s top Pokémon. And it’s also worth noting that in a 1-on-1 battle between Infernape and Charizard, Charizard would likely win since he’s immune to Dig, has resistance to Fire and Fighting type moves, and his Flying type moves are supper-effective on Fighting-types. I just feel that, in a 6-on-6 environment, Ash would have better choices for both Fire and Flying. As for Infernape, it’s a strong, fast, and evasive fighter that, like Pikachu, can get in and do some major damage before going down. It’s also mastered the counter-shield, and possesses a variation of Blaze unique to itself that sends its power through the roof. This used to make it unreliable as it also pushed it into a berserker-type rage, but it’s since overcome that. Its most notable accomplishments are its victories over Roark’s Onix, Fantina’s Drifblim, Candice’s Abomasnow, Volkner’s Luxray, and Paul’s Electivire.

Palpitoad
SON OF A BITCH!!!

This pick might seem odd, given my previously stated issues with Palpitoad, but I had to be fair here. Also, I will admit this was probably one of the tougher decisions, given Ash’s roster of Water-types. Now I eliminated most by their biggest flaws: Squirtle is too slow and doesn’t have much staying power, Totodile’s too much of a goof off, Corphish hasn’t evolved and thus hasn’t grown enough to make his more defensive strategy work, Buizel’s best assets are already covered in my picks thus far, and Oshawott is kind of clumsy. This left me down to two choices: Palpitoad and Kingler. What ultimately made me decide to go with Palpitoad is that he possesses something none of Ash’s other Water-types have: Immunity to electricity. Plus, he has more bulk to him than Corphish and can hit just as hard as any of the other Water-types. In addition to all of that, Palpitoad is a single evolution away from being fully evolved. If he becomes a Seismitoad, he would be one of Ash’s best, hands down. Palpitoad unfortunately doesn’t have very many notable victories as of yet, other than defeating Burgundy and Virgil in the Club Battle tournament, but he was a key player in Ash’s battles against Elesa, Roxie, and Stephan.

Sceptile

Yeah I know, Sceptile is another fully evolved Pokémon that focuses on speed and power, but I felt the need to pick a Grass type, and I ultimately found that Sceptile was the best, though I will say that all of Ash’s Grass-types are pretty awesome in their own ways. His moves are sort of straightforward and predictable, but his never-say-die attitude pushes him past such short-comings. His most notable achievements are his victories over Brawly’s Hariyama, Norman’s Slaking, Winona’s Altaria, Katie’s Walrein, Spencer’s Claydol, and possibly greatest of all, Tobias’ Darkrai.

Gliscor

Again, Ash has a lot of Flying types, all of which are fully evolved and are among his fastest and strongest Pokémon of all. The reason why I chose Gliscor, despite the fact that I try not to double up on types and I already have a Ground-type on here, PLUS Gliscor has a x4 weakness to Ice, is actually kind of simple: Most of Ash’s other Flying-types have pretty straightforward and easy to predict move-sets. The only ones that don’t are Charizard, which I already said I’m not picking, Noctowl, who admittedly is pretty awesome and can use Psychic-type attacks, and Gliscor. Ultimately, I went with Gliscor because it’s immune to electricity, has a VERY varied move-pool, and has the best physical defence of my picks thus far. It also knows how to use Giga Impact and NOT be stuck frozen for a turn by using its tail to bounce upon impact and get some distance, thus eliminating the move’s fatal flaw. Its most notable accomplishments are its victories over Byron’s Bastiodon and Paul’s Drapion, AKA Paul’s motha frakkin’ mower.

So that leaves us with one final Pokémon. Now while all of these are good options, I chose not to go with Krookodile, Donphan, or Gible because I didn’t want three Ground-types on the team. I didn’t want to double up on any other types either, so that left me with some of the more unique of Ash’s roster. Having looked over them, their abilities, move-pools, statistics, achievements, what they can do that their team-mates cannot, and then using Marriland’s Team Builder to double-check most of these facts, I’ve ultimately decided that the 6th member of the best team Ash could put together at this time is…

Snorlax

Easily the biggest, bulkiest, and admittedly slowest of Ash’s Pokémon, he’s in many ways the opposite of most of Ash’s roster. Immune to Ghost-type moves, possessing massive health, physical attack, and special defence, he can and has blocked against most opponents. He’s SO blubbery, in fact, that most attacks actually deflect right off of him. He’s mastered the art of Pokémon Sumo, and Ash has even figured out how to use his rotund body to use an impressive rolling dodge, thus potentially eliminating his biggest weakness: His lack of speed. His most notable accomplishments are winning the Sumo Conference, defeating Clair’s Kingdra, Gary’s Arcanine and Nidoqueen, Harrison’s Hypno and Steelix, and Greta’s entire Fighting-type team.

So those are my choices for Ash’s Best Team of 6 Pokémon. Leave your comments below to let me know what you would choose as a team, and I will see y’all later. Ja né!

How Would I Remake Pokémon Yellow?

One Pokémon game that I seriously wish Nintendo would either remake or re-release is Pokémon Yellow, AKA the Special Pikachu Edition. For those that don’t know, Pokémon Yellow was a spin-off of the original versions of Pokémon, except it’s loosely based off the first season of the anime in that you start off with Pikachu, Jessie and James are recurring enemies, certain Trainers you battle have their dialogue changed and teams altered to better reflect anime counterparts, and you can obtain Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. A lot of people really liked it (and of course, a lot of people were out to copy Ash’s exact team, lol), but for some reason it was never re-released. And I know, neither was the third version of the Johto Region games either, but at least elements of it were carried over for the Johto remakes. So I thought to myself, if I was put in charge of doing a remake for Pokémon Yellow, what would I do with it? So, that’s what I’m gonna answer right here. These are the things I would do if I were to remake Pokémon Yellow.

#1 – Gen 5 Mechanics

This one kinda goes without saying, but since it’s the newest Generation, I’d of course want to use the Generation V mechanics. That means the physical/special split, the newest attacks and their effects as seen in Generation V, Triple Battles, Rotational Battles, and so on.

#2 – Use HGSS‘ System For Pokémon Following You

Obviously, Pikachu being outside the ball for the duration of the journey is a must, and I would personally tweak the system from HeartGold/SoulSilver so that the one that follows you is always Pikachu, unless you box the little guy in which case no one follows you. I would include the little pictures from Pokémon Yellow though, only updated with a few more, like maybe him making his elastic faces from the show. ^_^

#3 – Update the Regional Dex

The Pokémon found would obviously include all the original 151, but I would toss in every Pokémon that evolves to and from them, any Pokémon from other Regions seen in Kanto during other games where you venture there (GSC, FRLG, HGSS), and maybe just a few others to help balance out the type ratios (or in Dark’s case, give it a frigging presence).

#4 – Update Pokémon Movepools

Nothing too big, just a tweak here and there. One in particular, GIVING FLAREON FLARE BLITZ! This is NOT that hard to figure out! They even have the same word as part of their names, ‘flare’!

#5 – Include New Move Tutor and TM Locations

This would mostly be done for convenience since Pikachu, let’s be perfectly honest, is not all THAT great on his own. Having updated move tutors and including new locations for TMs would be beneficial. In particular, I was thinking a fetch quest near Pewter City to teach Pikachu Iron Tail, or a Move Tutor near Indigo Plateau that teaches Pikachu Volt Tackle.

#6 – More Battles With Team Rocket

Why? Because they appeared in damned near every episode of the original series, and I think you only battled them like 4 times in the original game. UNACCEPTABLE. lol Also, thinking by the end they would have Meowth, Arbok, Weezing, Wobbufet, Victreebel, and Mime Jr.

#7 – Remodel Male Protagonist To Look Like Ash

Obviously.

#8 – Remodel Female Protagonist To Look Like Ashley

Because it’s too funny to pass up on. XD

#9 – Side-quests Galore, In Particular With Misty and Brock

Okay, kinda alluded to this earlier, but I’d make a ton of side-quests. Stuff you don’t HAVE to do, but are fun, rewarding, and add to the experience of the game. I’m thinking they would involve Brock and Misty, since they follow Ash in the original series. Maybe even a series of events where you can end with actually dating Misty or Brock, depending on which gender you play as.

#10 -Cameos from the Characters Of the Day

I know technically a few Trainers you run into have their dialogue and teams altered to better resemble the characters of the day from the old series, but making their appearances a bit closer and also just including a lot more would be sweet.

#11- The Sevii Islands & The Orange Crew

Since the Sevii Islands were already in FRLG, I’d just go with them instead of the Orange Islands from the anime, but also include the Orange Crew as boss trainers you can battle. Though obviously I’d need to change Drake’s name since there’s already a Drake. Maybe something like Arthur.

#12 – Include The Pokémon World Tournament

Because it is an AWESOME mode. Also, just to be cute (and to piss people off), I’d replace Red with Ritchie. XD

Remember me, mother fuckers? >:)

And that’s all I have in mind for now. Leave your comments and any ideas of what you’d do with the game or any other Pokémon games you’d remake. Ja né!

Jyger’s Rant – Battling A Thaw In Relations Review

The final chapter of this three parter as Ash and Paul’s rivalry comes to a close in a powerful way, Battling A Thaw In Relations. Also, watch past the credits for the official announcement regarding my next review.

Images are from Pokémon, music is from Arceus and the Jewel of Life, The Dark Knight, and as always, Roar by Treat.