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J.A. Phillips Presents Batman And Robin: Dark Knight/Boy Wonder Chapter 3 Preview

Dark night.

Happy family.

Lone criminal.

Parents murdered.

Orphaned child.

Dark Knight.


In an abandoned printing press in Old Gotham, where they used to print crossword puzzles and the like, Edward Nygma, AKA The Riddler, sat back in his chair and looked upon his computer screen with satisfaction, spinning his trademark question mark cane between his palm and the floor. He’d just managed to obtain quite the acquisition: Several of Commissioner Loeb’s most prized and well-kept secrets from the past couple of years. Now, they were his to do with as he pleased. It was days like these that made him most glad to be alive.

It was really no wonder, then, that he barely noticed any sort of presence in his room until said presence yanked on the collar of his green coat, pulling him out of his chair. “What the-?!”

“Hello, Nygma,” the intruder, none other than Batman, said coldly.

The Riddler put on a small grin, albeit a nervous one, as he adjusted his tie. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Gotham City’s own bruised-knuckled, bat-fixated bully of bandits, black-marketeers, and all-around bad men.”

“I thought we should have ourselves a little talk,” the Dark Knight commented, kicking the balcony window open and dangling Edward over the ledge. “You have information I want.”


 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11800272/3/J-A-Phillips-Presents-Batman-And-Robin-Dark-Knight-Boy-Wonder

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J.A. Phillips Presents Batman And Robin: Dark Knight/Boy Wonder Chapter 2 Preview

Dark night.
Happy family.
Lone criminal.
Parents murdered.
Orphaned child.
Dark Knight.

Dick tried his best not to hyperventilate. Still, it was hard. What was supposed to be one of the best nights of his life was now turning into the emotional roller coaster straight to Hell. For the average person his age, seeing one’s parents die before their eyes might seem like the thing that would cap off one’s night. Instead, he was nearly killed by a group of corrupt cops, and he was currently sitting in the passenger seat of the Batman’s car. Up until tonight, he had no idea Batman even existed, much less had a car.
The 12-year-old boy looked over at the Dark Knight as he steered the vehicle through the streets of Gotham City. He’d been relatively quiet for the past few minutes since they got in the car, and even though he was wearing a mask, Dick could tell he looked a bit uncomfortable himself, like he wasn’t sure what to do, or that what he was about to do was the right move. It was a strange thing to see out of someone considered by many to be some kind of superhero.
Dick looked down, fidgeting with his seat belt slightly as the car started to enter a more dimly lit area. He was still wearing his Flying Graysons costume. He looked like a neon sign next to the dark and grim Batman. For a split second, he wondered if this made him look overly ridiculous, but that thought was buried under the next, when he realized this would probably be the last time he would ever wear it.
Mom…Dad… Dick thought, grabbing a handful of his tights and gripping hard. Why did you have to die? Who killed you? And why did those men try to shut me up?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11800272/2/J-A-Phillips-Presents-Batman-And-Robin-Dark-Knight-Boy-Wonder

J.A. Phillips Presents Batman And Robin: Dark Knight/Boy Wonder Preview + Which Villains Would You Like To See In This Fanfic?

Dark night.
Happy family.
Lone criminal.
Parents murdered.
Orphaned child.
Dark Knight.

Dick Grayson could barely manage to keep his heart from pounding clean out of his chest. This was going to be one of Haley’s Circus’ biggest shows yet: Amusement Mile, Gotham City. Who knows how many thousands of people in attendance. Dick and his family, the Flying Graysons, performing their signature trapeze act without the safety of a net. And all of it sponsored by billionaire philanthropist, Bruce Wayne.
Without a doubt, this was going to be a night the 12-year-old boy would never forget.

Bruce Wayne couldn’t help but feel a little excited. It’s true that, despite the life he lived, both what the public knew about and what they didn’t, there wasn’t much that made him excited in a legitimately happy and positive way. Still, if there was one thing he still had a love for, it was the circus, and having heard about the Flying Graysons, one of the star acts of Haley’s Circus, he knew he was in for one hell of a show.
There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this would be a night he’d never forget.

…So yeah, I’m doing this now. lol More-or-less a fixfic of All-Star Batman And Robin, I figured it was either put up or shut up time for me, since I gave my thoughts on how I’d do the story different. Suffice to say, though, because I had to make so many changes to the story, replacing the unintentionally hilarious dialogue and the subplots that make EVERYONE involved look bad, plus making the characters feel more like who they’re supposed to be and removing anyone who didn’t need to be involved, I’ve had to read/watch some additional content to gain further inspiration. Specially, in addition to ASBAR, I’ve read Detective Comics #38 (the part about Robin’s origins, anyway) by Bill Finger and Bob Kane, Nightwing #0 by Tom DeFalco and Kyle Higgins, and The Untold Legend of The Batman #2 by Len Wein, as well as watched Robin’s Reckoning Parts 1 & 2 from Batman The Animated Series, and A Matter Of Family from The Batman.

With all of that said, though, I always like to have a certain degree of input from my fans. And, in this case, I wanna ask if there are any members of Batman’s rogues gallery that you’d like to see in this story. After all, due to the subtraction of anything related to the Justice League in this story, and the fact that the story was never finished and could have a stretch of time leading to the confrontation with the Joker, there’s plenty of room for Batman and/or Robin to interact with various baddies. Keep in mind, though, that the villains present will be those that best fit within the context of the story, and that this story is more-or-less meant to be continuity free, meaning you don’t HAVE to read other Batman stories in order to understand what’s going on and who these people are.

So yeah, lemme know who you think would be a good fit for rogues whom Batman and Robin could encounter in this story, and we’ll see what happens as I continue writing this story. Ja né!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11800272/1/J-A-Phillips-Presents-Batman-And-Robin-Dark-Knight-Boy-Wonder

My Thoughts On The Batman V Superman Trailer

…It sucks. Ja né!

Actually, that’s not really fair, especially because I can look at everyone in the trailer and can instantly tell they are trying so hard to make us care and like this. It’s failing epically, but they’re trying so hard that it’s actually kinda tragic. And then I see a remake of the trailer with Christopher Reeve and Adam West in place of Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck. And I don’t know if that edit was done because the person just wanted to do it for fun, or they legitimately thought that Reeve and West would look better than Cavill and Affleck. Well, if it’s the latter, and I really hope it isn’t, I have this to say: You’re failing to miss the bigger problem. Yes, Reeve and West are legendary as those characters, and the more bright and shining costume for Superman DEFINITELY looks better than the one Cavill’s wearing. However, you can stick all the Reeve and West you want in this trailer, but it will not improve it so long as the overall tone is kept intact, and THAT is where the problem lies. And what’s funny is that I was actually gonna skip out on giving my thoughts and opinions on this trailer, but seeing that edit made me realize all the problems with it all over again, and I had to get it out.

First off, before I go too deep in what’s wrong with the trailer, I’ll go one step better than some people are willing to go in terms of what’s good: I thought Ben Affleck looked AWESOME in this trailer. He looks dark and wounded, not just from the usual standpoint of Bruce Wayne’s tragic past, but as someone who, if we can trust background info on this movie, has been operating as Batman for years now. And he looks great in both of the Batsuits, which also look AWESOME. The main one he wears looks dark and gritty, which Batman works well with, and having the shorter ears was definitely a plus. The armoured suit also looks pretty cool, and I gotta say, it’s nice to see a live-action Batsuit that has default lens built into the cowl.

So, yes, Batman looks awesome in this, as I knew he would………and therein lies a big part of the problem: Batman looks great and very faithful to the character, Superman doesn’t. And here’s where I KNEW they were gonna screw this up. Superman still looks dark as shit, when you have these two characters who, in appearance, should be polar opposites look like they both get their costumes from the same shop, that’s a problem. Do I even need to bring THIS up?

Oh, but don’t think that they didn’t find a way to screw up Batman in this trailer just because Affleck looks awesome. What was that truly inspiring dialogue Batman had for Superman in this movie? “Do you bleed?…You WILL.” WOW, DC. WOW, Warner Bros. The ONE GUY you knew how to market, and you still found a way to fuck it up. Bravo, dear friends, you are truly the corn of the crap. And on top of that, there’s the voice. It’s just WRONG, in every conceivable way. Like, the reason I always bought it with Bale is because he’s supposed to be a younger, more inexperienced Batman who uses dark, growly voices and tries to sound more openly threatening than just being subtly intimidating because he’s still new to the job. Mind you, that only went as far as Dark Knight. Dark Knight Rises, it was eight years later, and he was still doing this shit. Affleck, however, is supposed to be an older Batman who has been doing this for many years, and yet he’s still doing THE VOICE. So, for those wondering who to blame the continuously worsening voice that Christian Bale used in the Dark Knight Trilogy on, I think you’ve got your answer.

And then there’s the bit of what I am assuming (I’m hoping to God I’m wrong for reasons I’ll make clear in a moment) to be the Batwing blowing up a car and presumably the guy standing next to it. Y’know, even ignoring the rule about how Batman shouldn’t kill people, because they clearly didn’t give a shit about that when Supes snapped Zod’s neck, there’s a problem at play: I was under the assumption that Batman was going up against Superman because he felt he was too dangerous, regardless of if his intentions are good or not. However, if that’s Batman, BATMAN, killing a man in an explosion, then clearly, they BOTH have the same reckless, dangerous approach! So why are they even fighting?!

Then there’s stuff about the statue of Superman with “FALSE GOD” spray painted onto it, analysts going into detail about what he is or should be doing with his powers, and the big one to me, the military guys with what appear to be Superman logos on their uniforms kneeling to the Man of Steel…I’m not gonna go into that too much, mainly because Angry Joe pretty much already said everything I could think to say about it, which you should totally go check out. It’s a really good analysis of the trailer, both good and bad points. Although, I DID consider that another possibility, besides this being extremists taking Superman’s status to levels beyond what he personally wants and then having what they do pinned on him by Lex Luthor and the media, is that this COULD be a dream sequence. This could be Batman having nightmares and worrying about where Superman is taking the world. And really, Batman DOES kinda have that paranoia about him where I could conceivably see him worrying over that. I’d need more than just that to justify a confrontation between the two, but it’d be a start at least.

Getting back to Angry Joe’s take on the trailer, though, I will say that, yes, it is possible that this trailer has been doctored up a bit to make this movie seem potentially darker than it could conceivably be. However, with all due love and respect for Joe Vargas, there’s one little problem I think you’ve kinda overlooked: That would imply that the people in charge of making this movie, as well as the cinematic universe they’re attempting to create from it, have any idea what they’re doing, and I think that they’ve conclusively proven that they don’t. I asked the question “Why are they even fighting?” if they apparently are so frigging similar in this movie. Is it because Superman’s a powerful figure and that extremists might be taking his persona, emblem, and status, and doing the wrong thing with them? Yeah, because no one has EVER done that with Batman’s. The Dark Knight, a movie that one can actually make argument for being the best Goddamn superhero movie of all time, which YOU, Warner Bros. and DC, were the ones that fucking MADE IT, had one of its first scenes feature Batman having to confront copycat vigilantes that were taking his attempt to inspire others to fight injustice and going the wrong way with it. Does Superman show up to put the beating on Batman for that? No. Why? Well, for one thing, Superman’s not that naive nor stupid. But for another, he wasn’t in that movie, because they decided to do more than a single movie to establish Batman. Gosh, kinda feels like they shoulda done that with Superman too, instead of making the sequel to Man of Steel be a launching pad for a cinematic universe because DC and Warner Bros. want to compete with Marvel Studios. And it’s COSTING THEM. It’s costing them, because they’re making these decisions without really thinking them out. They have, as the launching pad for their cinematic universe, a movie about Superman and Batman fighting for reasons I don’t totally get, while also having Wonder Woman as a supporting character, and featuring cameos by Aquaman and Cyborg, and at some point, we find out Lex Luthor’s the villain they need to fight. That’s a lot for one movie, especially one that’s just supposed to be the prologue for Justice League. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING.

So, in closing, this trailer sucked in all the ways I feared it would suck, which tells me that the movie is going to suck in all the ways I fear it will suck. And if WB and DC doesn’t figure that out, then their entire cinematic universe will suck. But hey, I suppose it could be a lot worse, right? I mean, we could have Superman without his cape with a military cut and shades of a beard alongside Jim Gordon with a mohawk and no mustache wearing an armoured GCPD Batsuit. But no one would ever be stupid enough to write a story like tha-

Batman/Superman Post-Convergence

Batman/Superman Post-Convergence

……..Y’know, I’m not 100% sure, but I think I kinda hate DC nowadays. -_-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and is anyone else sick to death of the Hans Zimmer horn yet? lol

 

 

What Should Infinite Batman’s Costume Be? YOU DECIDE!

So, as anyone who has been reading along with my Justice League Infinite fanfic, you should know that Batman has been wearing a high tech ‘Meta-Buster’ costume, which, on the surface, is a repaint of the Justice League 3000 Batsuit. However, as the most recent chapter that I posted revealed, the suit is actually a plot point: When Starro manages to take control of him, Batman’s Meta-Buster and his knowledge of the heroes’ powers and abilities are turned against the team. As such, the Meta-Buster is NOT Batman’s primary costume in JLI. But then, what is? Well, I HAD a plan going in, but now, looking over the various costumes Batman has worn throughout the years, I find myself doubting the plan. So instead, I decided to bring up a few costumes I think would work great for the DC Infinite Universe’s incarnation of The Dark Knight.

The Batman Incorporated/Earth One Batsuits

 

The reason I post both of these together is because I think I’d want to use a suit that incorporates elements of both, and also leaving out the…*ahem*, ‘Bat-Cup’ that the Batman Incorporated Batsuit had. I do kinda like the idea of the light-up Bat symbol, though. Maybe he could use it like that spot-light Spider-Man used to freak out bad guys with.

The Burtonverse Batsuit

 

The original suit that I had in mind. I think the only changes I’d make would be to very lightly tint it blue (because for some weird reason, blue actually blends into the dark better than black, don’t ask), and to make the belt pouches more rectangular. The cylindrical ones bug me. It makes me wonder how the hell he ever kept anything in them.

The Arkham Knight Batsuit

 

While it makes me wonder how the heck he’s supposed to change into this costume on the fly, I rather like it. The panels actually kind of remind me of the live action Iron Man suits, which I’m assuming is the idea, and is probably what I’d go with as well in using it.

The Zero Year Costume

The Zero Year Costume

I just love how this suit pays great homage to the original Batsuit. The only thing I’d probably change is to remove the weird line patterns going down the sides. I have no idea what the hell those were for.

The New 52 Costume

The New 52 Costume

Basic and badass. That said, because his Robin is Carrie Kelley, I’d probably change the Bat symbol to look more like the one from The Dark Knight Returns, just for the heck of it.

Anyway, that’s it for some of the ones I could think of. Which do you think would look best for the Infinite Dark Knight’s Batsuit? Perhaps a mixture of the bunch, or a completely different one I didn’t mention? Lemme know in the comments below which you think I should go with, and we’ll see what happens. Ja né!

New Fanfic: Justice League Infinite + A Look At Infinite Batman

So, as I’ve announced on Twitter, I plan to do a Justice League fic soon. This will take place in an alternate universe where the Justice Society of America had existed since World War II, but collapsed near the end of the Cold War, and are currently not recognized by the American government as being on the right side of the law. As such, those heroes left in the wake of the JSA’s collapse operate as individuals, without any form of organization. However, that all changes when a threat from outer space brings several heroes together on a mission to save Earth from a creature that could enslave humanity.

Before I release the first chapter of this story, dubbed Justice League Infinite (and for those wondering, either my previous DC Comics-oriented fics will EVENTUALLY be retooled to fit into this ‘verse, or will just be kept around as examples of my older work, I honestly haven’t decided yet), I’ve decided to go ahead and give previews to each of the seven members of the team. So, let’s start with arguably the most popular superhero to date: Batman.

Bruce Terrance Wayne of this universe bears more than enough similarities to the more common version adapted for various movies, cartoons, and comics, though there are also several differences. We’ll go over the latter, since if you don’t know much about Batman’s history, personality, and skills, chances are that you’re probably not even reading this. From a personality standpoint, this Batman’s paranoia and standoffish behaviour are played up a bit more. He doesn’t trust the other Justice League members, and is unwilling to part with his secret identity, though he does show respect toward Wonder Woman due to her status as a royal diplomat. In his life as Bruce Wayne, he’s been shown to have both women AND men on his arm as dates, even though he actually doesn’t see himself getting into a meaningful relationship with anyone, regardless of gender.

In terms of history, this version of Bruce was born in 1981 and lost his parents at age 8. Without going into too much detail, he’s been active as the Dark Knight for 6-7 years (and if you’re getting the references with these dates, bravo to you, lol), although he’s only been confirmed to exist for the past 2-3, with most believing he was a myth. He’s also only recently taken on his first Robin: This universe’s version of Carrie Kelley, who, like in The Dark Knight Returns, came to Batman’s aid when he was near death one night, and has been undergoing rigorous training to prove herself as his partner. There’re a few other characters related to him that are drastically changed in this universe, but I’ll keep them a secret for now.

In terms of Infinite Batman’s skills and tech, the Caped Crusader still has his trademark detective skills and mastery of nearly every martial art known to man, as well as his intimidation, theatricality, and interrogation skills that allow him to appear superhuman, possibly even demonic, to the average thug. His Batsuit resembles the Justice League 3000 Batman’s costume, only darker and possessing violet-blue tones instead of red. In terms of what it can do, though, aside from the usual equipment of multi-purpose Batarangs, smoke pellets, and the Batclaw grapple gun, Bruce has built this suit as a means of stopping super-powered individuals if necessary, and has dubbed it ‘The Meta-Buster’. The paracape is thermal-shielded against ice and fire, though using it as such makes it nearly impossible to glide afterward. His gloves can generate varying levels of electricity to knock out foes or charge devices. There are also strength enhancers in the suit for combating foes with super-strength, though they burn out after a minute or two and require recharging. The cowl is connected to the Batcave computer, and the lens can grant him night, infrared, thermal, and even telescopic vision. Batman also has ultrasonic emitters that can summon bats or deafen enemies, and if the situation calls for it, it can seal Bruce off and provide him with oxygen to dive underwater or even survive the vacuum of space for a short time. All of this does come at a pretty big trade-off, though: The increased bulk of the Meta-Buster makes Batman a bit slower and less maneuverable, so anyone that can outpace him and is prepared for his various contingencies can easily subdue and disable him. And while it is, like most Batsuits, almost completely bullet and knife proof and insulated against electricity, it has its limits. If it takes too much of a pounding, the various added systems built into the Meta-Buster will shut down, leaving Bruce with a heavy armour no better equipped than some of his more traditional costumes.

Anyway, that’s all for the Dark Knight. Next time, we take a look at the Scarlet Speedster HERself, The Flash. Ja né!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite Joker Quotes

…You saw the title. These are my 5 Favourite Quotes of The Joker. Keep in mind, these aren’t in any specific order, and come from many different interpretations of the character, including the comics, the TV shows, the movies, and the video games, which inevitably means this includes spoilers for anything they come from. So, let’s not wait any longer and send in the clowns with the first up to bat (no pun intended)…

#1 – “What the heck, I’ll laugh anyway” from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

This is the scene where Joker reveals exactly what he did to Robin, in horrific detail, via a home movie style video. But the great quote for me is what comes near the end of it, when he finally presses one of the last buttons Batman has…

“You would’ve been proud to see him so strong – but all too soon, the serums and the shocks took their toll…and the dear lad began to share such secrets with me. Secrets that are mine alone to know… Bruce. It’s true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarang, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic…Oh, what the heck, I’ll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA HAA!”

#2 – “Madness is the emergency exit” from Batman: The Killing Joke

This quote comes from when Joker has Commissioner Gordon held captive on a ride with photos of Barbara Gordon displayed from when she was shot and stripped naked, all just to try to break the Commish, and…Well, I’m gonna let Troy Baker field this one.

#3 – “It’s not even breakfast” from Batman: Arkham City

In the climax of Arkham City…Well, Joker will explain in a bit, but he’s done a shit-ton of horrible stuff. But what caps it all off is this one exchange between him and Batman over the cure for Joker’s fatal ailment, where they pretty much spell out the nature of their encounters…

“Quick, the cure! What are you waiting for? Come on! I killed your girlfriend, poisoned Gotham, and hell, it’s not even breakfast! But so what? We all know you’ll save me.” “…Every decision you’ve ever made ends in death and misery. People die. I stop you…You’ll just break out and do it again.” “Heheheh…Think of it as a running gag!”

#4 – “Why so serious?” from The Dark Knight

…Because how could I not include this? The thing is, you gotta figure this quote plus the completely contradictory quote later on indicates one of two things: Either The Joker is completely insane and doesn’t remember how he got his scars, referencing back to The Killing Joke and how he remembered his origins slightly different from day-to-day, or he’s a liar and his explanations are mere parody at such simplistic reasons for what he does.

“Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker…and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not…one…bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, ‘Why so serious?’ He comes at me with the knife — ‘Why so serious?!’ Sticks the blade in my mouth — ‘Let’s put a smile on that face!’ And… why so serious?”

#5 – “April fools!” from Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

…Again, I think I’m gonna let someone else take this one. Here’s a 3D animation done by jwhit3d to the voice acting of Pgirts, with a little bit of Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin at the end from Batman: The Animated Series for flavour. 😀

So, those are my 5 Favourite Joker Quotes. Got one that’s not on here? Feel free to post it below in the comments, and let’s see about doing this again soon for more comic book characters. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Batman #24 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So, I was at Heroes’ Beacon today (the shop where I buy my comics), and I got some awesome books, so let’s take a minute to talk about…

What I Bought Today

Now, as I tend to do many times when one book in particular is just a huge flipping deal, I’m gonna cover it on its own, and then do the others in a second post. With that said, let’s take a look at Batman #24!

…Okay, I gotta ask, does anybody else totally hear Padmé’s Destiny from Star Wars Episode III when they look at this? Y’know, from when Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Anybody? o.O

This issue kinda marks the halfway point for Zero Year. Not necessarily that it’s halfway done in terms of number of issues, but from a storyline perspective, the first half is done, that being dealing with the Red Hood Gang and becoming Batman. And yes, we do see Bruce Wayne in his first (in the New 52 canon, anyway) Bat suit, in all of its purple-gloved glory! XD And snark aside, I felt they really did a good job of bringing back the classic Batman costume and modernizing it. In fact, the reveal is done in a two-page spread, where Batman is swinging with a Red Hood in a pose meant to harken back to the cover of Detective Comics #27, AKA Batman’s first appearance.

In the Batcave, Bruce and Alfred begin piecing together a plot by Red Hood One, which seems to be slightly rushed with the appearance of the Batman. However, they’re still lacking on some details, so Alfred suggests Bruce go to see Philip, who is overjoyed to see Bruce alive. Philip admits the Red Hood Gang got to him, and while he’s had enough of Red Hood One’s shit, when he wanted to go to the police, the gang kinda branded RH347 on his chest, thus linking him to them. However, he does give Bruce access to the information he needs, and he and Alfred quickly deduce Red Hood One’s plan. However, while Alfred says Batman has to stop them, Bruce replies that Batman can’t, that there’s only one man who can stop the Red Hood Gang this time: Bruce Wayne.

Bruce decides to reveal himself as being alive…again, this time through an impromptu press conference, Commissioner Loeb deciding to send Jim Gordon down to check it out, and here’s where we get something awesome. Bruce asks everyone watching at home why they love Gotham City. And really, when you read Batman comics, you have to wonder why ANYONE would love Gotham. Even without the super-villains, it’s still Hell on Earth. There’s gangbangers, the price of living comfortably is insane, there’s too much rain, and it just seems to bring out the worst in so many people. So why would anyone stay there? For Bruce, the answer is simple: People come to Gotham to become something MORE. Gotham City challenges the people living there to make themselves more than they are. It dares them to become better, and does everything it can to stop them, and if one can take all it can dish out, they become something more as a result.

Anyway, once the speech is over, Bruce points to the building he’s been standing in front of all along, and reveals it to be the Red Hood Gang’s hidden base: A.C.E. Chemical. Red Hood One is creating a flesh-eating poison that they’re going to unleash upon the city, Having given away their position, the Red Hood Gang decide to take out Wayne, but in the confusion of them shooting rockets at him and the GCPD getting involved, Bruce manages to get inside. Red Hood One finds him and holds him at gun-point, but Bruce literally tells him he’s “so full of #$%”, that his concept of ‘life is meaningless if you can die at any time’ is crap, since what matters most is what you do in the time you have. Red Hood One has heard enough and is ready to kill Bruce, but the lights go out, and as can be seen from above in a GCPD helicopter, the whole area has blacked out, the outline of which now resembling a bat. Sure enough, as the lights come back on, Batman kicks the crap out of the entire Red Hood Gang, all the while Red Hood One watches from the shadows, his eyes fixated on the Dark Knight.

While Batman deals with the grunts, and impressively so for a guy only in his first year as a crime-fighter, Red Hood One takes aim at him, but is caught by a bullet from another Red Hood bouncing off his helmet. Red Hood One straight up executes Red Hood 347, which Batman realises to his horror is Philip, just as the police finally manage to bust in. Granted, while they DID have charges, considering the chemicals in the building, they obviously couldn’t risk it. Unfortunately, the deflected bullet causes one of the tanks to leak, which in turn creates a chain of explosions, so I guess it didn’t matter in the end. The police try to arrest Batman, but you can probably guess how well that works…as in, not at all. lol

Batman catches up with Red Hood One, who is trying to escape in a helicopter, but they tumble back into the building, there’s another explosion, Red Hood One is dangling over a vat of chemicals, Batman tries to save the poor bastard, but he just says it wouldn’t be any fun, and…well, you can probably guess how this ends. However, there is a twist. A while later, we see that Bruce and Alfred have updated the Batcave a bit to look a little closer to the more modern take we see nowadays. Bruce suggests it’s only a matter of time before people start piecing together that he’s Batman, and jokingly offers to share a cell with Alfred. Pennyworth, however, says that at least the Red Hood Gang is defeated and he can move on from them…However, it seems Bruce can’t. The body of Red Hood One was never found, and while Red Hood members all pointed to a man named Liam Distal as the leader, HE was found dead the day before.

Distal’s corpse was mostly dissolved in lye, so that it’s impossible to tell exactly when he was murdered. So, now there’s a mystery regarding the identity of the man he fought…Okay, I’m just gonna say it, it’s The Joker. Either Joker killed Distal weeks ago and took his place, or he was a patsy reading lines for Distal and only made the switch recently. It’s also possible someone else killed Distal, and then switched places with ‘The Man Who Would Be The Joker’ before Batman caught up with him on the roof at A.C.E. In the end, without more evidence, there’s no way to know……..Scott Snyder, you redefine what it means to troll your readers. XD

Huh. So THAT’S how he got those scars…Badumtish. 😛

At any rate, Alfred finds it unlikely people will figure out Bruce Wayne is Batman, relating back to his days as an actor. He used to try too hard to make the characters he performed just perfect, and leave no trace of himself in it, as to avoid seeming like a faker. However, what he learned is that the audience WANTS to believe in the actor. They want to forget who is under the mask, and become enthralled by the character, because the actor put so much hard work and passion into it. Add in the fact that Batman can pretty much make the rules of logic his bitch, and the everyday ordinary people of Gotham won’t WANT to know who Batman is.

Alfred and Bruce decide to make up after their most recent issue, but are cut off by a broadcast from Edward Nygma, who had become The Riddler. He delivers the second riddle of the Sphinx: ‘There are two sisters; each gives birth to the other. Who are they?’ Bruce, Alfred, and Commissioner Gordon all recognize it, just before Nygma calls for the ‘dark, dark night’, and our comic ends as he sets off explosions that cause a massive blackout all over Gotham City.

This comic is frigging awesome. The modernizing of Batman’s original costume is great, as is the little Easter Egg of the words “BK was here” on the roof in the two-page spread where Batman is revealed for the first time. Also, the result of his confrontation with the Red Hood Gang went VERY well. While I’m all too willing to say that the individual dressed as Red Hood One is the Joker, since it all but outright says that, the fact that we don’t see the transformation still leaves some ambiguity. And even if it IS him, we still don’t REALLY know who he is, and that’s how the Joker SHOULD be. As he himself said, “If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!” The ending where Riddler appears DOES seem kinda rushed, but I think that’s the idea, where Batman has defeated the Red Hood Gang, and yet only NOW is the shit getting real.

Anyway, that’s it for Batman this week, but we still have Nightwing, the Fearless Defenders, and Red Sonja to go through, so check back in a few when I talk about them. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – The Fearless Defenders #9, Batman: The Dark Knight #23.1, Red Sonja #3 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Yep, it’s Wednesday once again, which means it’s time to check out…

What I Bought Today

Thankfully, this week turned out to not be as expensive as I thought it would be, and I probably won’t be getting any more comics for this month. Reason being, I’ve made the decision not to buy any more of Villains Month (aside from what I got today since it was minus the 3D cover and had been set aside for me anyway), and I don’t really have any interest in Battle for the Atom (seriously, what is it with comic book crossovers involving books that aren’t even a year old yet lately?). So, with that in mind, let’s start with Cullen Bunn before we move on to the one-two punch from Gail Simone, here’s Fearless Defenders #9.

This issue was just straight up funny in all kinds of ways. First off, just the cover. HILARIOUS. Second, the Defenders having their friendly banter between themselves and the criminals they’re fighting (The Enchantress, Chondu, Arthur Nagan, Ruby Thursday, and Quicksand). Third, their (sorta) boyfriends getting together to plan an intervention for the women at the Luck O’ The Irish Pub, saying it’s because they lack guidance as a team, only to have Molly Fitzgerald dress them down and cut to the meat of the matter: They’re jealous they aren’t on the team, and don’t believe an all-girls team will work. Fourth, we get a little insight on how Valkyrie and Annabelle are handling their little “time-share” situation, especially as it pertains to their individual love lives. And, of course, when the two groups meet up to beat down the baddies and the men get told to piss off and let them do their jobs. Also, that Clea wants a divorce because Doctor Strange is kind of a twat. Anyway, good stuff, and with the kick-ass action to accompany it, just tons of fun.

Batman: The Dark Knight, AKA Ventriloquist, AKA Why The Hell Isn’t This Batgirl, Especially When She Actually Gets Mentioned In This Book And Batman Isn’t? This book’s already been out for a week, so there’s not much to say on it that hasn’t already been said. Thus, I will keep it simple: Ventriloquist’s origins are kinda cliché (another jealous sibling story?), but at least she remains thoroughly messed up to the point that some ambiguity is still present for her. Overall, it’s good, but I’m hoping this isn’t the last we see of her, ‘cuz if it is, then she’s not really going out on so much of a high note.

Red Sonja, holy shit, this book continues to be awesome. And I love that every time I think I know where this book is going, it slaps me in the face and goes “No you don’t.” We get a little look at Red Sonja’s origins, which I honestly don’t know if they’re revised or not, since the only thing I saw of Red Sonja before Gail’s book was the sorta shitty movie (thought I will admit it’s not as notoriously bad as Arnold claims it to be). Either way, we learn a bit about how Sonja got to be the person she is, the tragedy of her life, and in the end, we’re teased with the possibility of her being dead, just before her ‘bodyguards’ return with news of a cure for the plague she’s been infected with. Overall, great stuff, can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Anyway, that’s it for this week. As I said, probably won’t be buying any comics for the rest of the month, but there MIGHT be a game I’ll be buying this month, we’ll see. Ja né!

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises #18…….Wut?

Okay, I’ve made it clear that I do not read Batman: The Dark Knight on a number of occasions. I find the stories to constantly be wrestling at the border of being boring or downright chaotic/nonsensical. As such, I did not read Batman: The Dark Knight #18. However, after reading about Batman: The Dark Knight #18, there was one moment in that book that I had to discuss…THIS.

…Okay, everybody with me now: Palm up front, aaaaannnd GO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E

…So, I decided instead to do some in-depth analysis to demonstrate, for those who may not get it, why this is BAD.

  1. If there is a single person who cares even a little bit about the relationship between Bruce Wayne and Natalya Trusevich, I would love to hear your explanation as to why. I’m sure I mentioned this before, but when Ivy tried to create a hallucination for Batman in Detective Comics #14 and appeared as Natalya, I had a “Who the F is Surge?” moment when she showed up. I don’t find that they have any chemistry beyond what he usually has with his usual flings, and I don’t find her all that interesting, except for when she occasionally pwns Bruce for being…well, Bruce. But c’mon, that’s not that hard. Give me something more to work with. Good grief, I honestly find Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever to be a better match for him, and she regressed into a giggly schoolgirl trying (and failing) to be slutty whenever he put the Batsuit on!
  2. Oh God, the dialogue. It is literally him repeating “This is who I am” over and over and over again. Oh, they tried to change it up by having him stress one word, saying “This is who I am” when they got to the Batsuit, but that was it. Ooh, that’s TOTALLY different.
  3. The reason he does this is because Natalya decides she’s had enough of the usual Bruce Wayne antics and Bruce, in response to this, has a hallucination of his parents (yes, seriously) telling him when he was a kid to someday find the woman that will complete him. Okay, I am not against the idea of Bruce settling down and having a family, but if he thinks this woman is the one that completes him, he CLEARLY is even more out of his gourd than I thought.
  4. Clearly the New 52 version of Bruce Wayne has not revealed his secret identity to many women before (in particular Catwoman), because I’m honestly trying to remember a single time in the comics that he ever revealed his identity as Batman to a love interest that didn’t end BADLY. The closest I come to is Catwoman, since nobody died and, while he decided they couldn’t have a romantic relationship just yet, they did continue to work closely together and flirt back and forth. But Natalya? She is so kidnapped AT BEST.
  5. This one’s actually kinda dumb, and I could be way wrong, but I don’t think the primary Batsuit that Bruce uses is situated there. Not a big deal, just another level of stupid I couldn’t ignore.
  6. While I do admittedly find it kind of funny for Bruce to take a girl that was gonna dump him and go “You don’t want this? Bitch, I’m the Goddamn Batman!”, it is HORRIBLY out of character for him. And so is that smile on his face that just says “I am going to show you something SO cool!”.
  7. If you need any more reason to not like Natalya, it’s her reaction to all of this. She doesn’t even seem in shock so much as “I am witnessing…something…”. Now, granted, that’s the artist’s fault as much as anything, but still…

So yeah, there ya go, comic. You fail. In seven very distinct ways with just ONE page, YOU FAIL!

FAIL

Anyway, leave your comments below, and feel free to check in this Wednesday with What I Bought Today, which will include Detective Comics #900. Ja né!