How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – The Justice League, The Teen Titans, And More

Here I am, once again, talking about How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch. ‘Cuz hey, you never know. I might decide to do a fanfic about one or more of these characters, or be a creative consultant for a web series, something like that. No way to know what the future might hold, y’know? So for this time around, I thought I’d talk about what I’d do with some of the landmark teams of the DC Universe. The Justice League, the Teen Titans, and so on. So, let’s start with…

Justice League

For the main team, I’d wanna take it back to being the Justice League of America, or the JLA. Of course, they would refer to it as the Justice League for short on occasion, but it’d be the JLA. As for what I’d do with it for a story, probably go back to Starro the Conqueror, except that it would be about Starro invading and the Big 3, the Trinity of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman not being enough to stop the invasion, and thus some of the new heroes (in this continuity, that is) would come to their aid, like The Flash, Green Lantern, or Cyborg. I’d probably include others, like Aquaman, Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Black Canary, or Green Arrow, and have the book mostly focus on them stepping up to be on the same level as the Trinity while also fending off threats like The Legion of Doom, the Royal Flush Gang, the Black Lantern Corps, and Darkseid.

Teen Titans

Teen Titans would probably go back to its roots a little bit as a team of mostly teenage sidekicks who band together to form a superhero team that responds to calls from teens in need. Obviously, Robin would be a must, as would Donna Troy as Wonder Girl. As for the others, Bunker would be a nice choice for the international flavor, his optimism, and his position as an openly gay teenage superhero. I think I’d wanna change his costume from purple and red to purple and green, though. Just looks better in my head. Jesse Quick would be a neat option too, especially as someone brilliant enough to tap into the Speed Force on her own. Other choices would likely include Aqualad (either one, really), Danny Chase, Hotspot, Bumblebee, Beast Boy, Argent, Damage, Starfire, or Artemis. Also, to reference his time spent with the team in The New Teen Titans, Cyborg would be acting as a mentor to the team as they battle the likes of Doctor Light, The H.I.V.E., Deathstroke, Harvest (only done smarter than in The Culling), and the Brotherhood of Evil.

Justice League International

I’d probably go with the standard government-controlled Justice League here, but with some changes. Specifically, the JLA decides they don’t want the government to be afraid of them, so they elect one of their members to join. Of course, unlike the New 52 Justice League International, I think I’d want Wonder Woman on the team, representing Themyscira. Vixen would represent Africa, Congorilla would represent Scotland, Katana would represent Japan, Fire would represent Brazil, Ice would represent Norway, Booster Gold would represent Canada, Vibe would represent America, and Mera would represent Atlantis. They’d fight foes like the Injustice League (would have different members than The Legion of Doom).

Birds of Prey

With the Birds of Prey, I’d wanna combine them with the idea of the Justice League Dark. Basically, an all-female team that deals with supernatural threats. As such, members would be a combination of the two groups: Black Canary would be acting leader, Raven would join seeking to bring together a group to stop her father, Zatanna would become a member to try to track down her father, Batgirl and Spoiler would team up with them from time to time, and Pandora would join to try to find information leading back to her box…Not even close to what I mean, pervs. lol Their enemies would include Trigon’s Sons, Vandal Savage, and Morgaine le Fey.

Justice Society of America

Basically, the Justice Society of America, or JSA for short, would be the first superhero team, existing prior to Superman and the others. Their members act as inspirations for the current crop of heroes, and in some cases, direct predecessors. They would consist of characters from the original JSA, the All-Star Squadron, and some of the other Earth 2 characters to appear since. The original Flash, Jay Garrick, hence why Wally chooses that name for himself. The Atom, Al Pratt, would be the father of Damage, and would have his atomic punch, the ability to turn giant like Atom Smasher, and the ability to shrink like the modern Atoms like Ray Palmer. Liberty Belle, Libby Lawrence, would be Jesse Quick’s mother, and Jesse would get her increased strength and stamina through her mother’s genes. Batman, Thomas Wayne, would be Bruce Wayne’s father who was a member EXTREMELY briefly. Others could include Doctor Fate, Hippolyta, Zatara, Sandman, Hawkman, or Doctor Mid-Nite.

Anyway, that’s all for the superhero teams. Next up, the villains! Ja né!

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How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – Cyborg, Power Girl, Green Lantern, And More

Well, I’m back with more of How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch. Basically, me talking about what I’d do for a fanfic, a novel, a tv/web series, or an alternate universe series of comics, should I ever be given the chance to do any of those things. I’ve already said what I’d do with the Big 3 of Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman (and Robin), but what about some of the other fan favourites?

Cyborg

Okay, here’s where I’d probably be stepping on some toes and ticking people off, but since this is alternate reality, I think I’d wanna combine the characters of Victor Stone and Henry Irons as Cyborg, the Man of Steel. Basically, Victor Irons (or Henry Stone, whichever) would be the son of a scientist who works at S.T.A.R. Labs and is inspired by Superman to be a hero, but when he’s badly hurt by a foe using stolen tech of his father’s, his body is rebuilt into that of a Cyborg. He would have most of the gadgets and abilities you’d expect of both Cyborg and Steel, in particular the white noise cannon and the high-powered sledge-hammer. Costume would probably be something akin to a fusion of Cyborg’s Teen Titans appearance and Steel’s Justice League Unlimited appearance, and possibly operating like the Omegadrome, wherein he’d be able to appear human when he wanted.

Batgirl and Spoiler

For Batgirl, I’d go with Barbara, BUT I would also have Stephanie Brown be her partner as Spoiler, essentially the Robin to her Batman. Basically, they’d be operating as a team without the complete consent of Batman, trying to earn his respect while also refusing to let him tell them what they can and cannot do. For Babs, I’d go with something akin to her costume in The New Batman Adventures, while Steph would wear the usual Spoiler outfit, but with a black version of the Robin mask instead of the Spoiler costume’s head-covering mask.

The Flash

Sorry Barry fans, I gotta go with Wally West here, although I would wanna go with the Wally from the Justice League cartoon who, like Barry, worked with CSI. Also, because I REALLY liked this idea when they did it for Blackest Night, I’d have The Flash simultaneously be a Blue Lantern, and that the accident that gives him his powers would be the result of the Blue Lantern Ring seeking a suitable wielder when it collides with a lightning bolt and nails Wally and the chemicals. As such, his ability to tap into the Speed Force would be dependent on his hope, his suit would be generated from the ring and would look akin to Barry’s Blue Lantern Flash costume, and he would simultaneously be giving power boosts whenever he was accompanying this next individual…

Green Lantern

Now here’s what I can’t decide on: Which one? Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, John Stewart, and even Simon Baz all work for what I have in mind: Namely, that the other members of the Green Lantern Corps are called away to fight an epic war, and thus one Green Lantern, who is the newest member to the Corps, has to stay behind as the sole guardian of Sector 2814. Of course, the other members would all appear from time to time, it would just focus primarily on that one individual fighting intergalactic threats to Earth…In fact, here: Which of the following Earth-born Green Lanterns is your favourite?

Oh, and the reason Jessica Cruz isn’t on there is because she hasn’t debuted as of this writing…Anyway, moving on…

Power Girl

For Power Girl, I’d probably take out the part where she’s from Earth 2. She’d just be Supergirl grown up and running her own business while also being Power Girl. As such, much like with Superman, I might wanna do stories for her both as being Power Girl AND Supergirl, or maybe doing the teenage copy thing with her too. Costume would be the one she recently got in Supergirl, since it’s both similar to the original while clearly being made of something sturdy enough to take a severe pounding. I’d also wanna alter her power-set a bit so that she’s physically faster and stronger than Superman, but her other abilities aren’t as potent. Basically, she’d be the hard-hitter for situations even Superman can’t handle, while she wouldn’t be as versatile.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Check in next time as I tell what I’d do with some of DC’s groups, including their flagship teams: The Justice League, and the Teen Titans. Ja né!

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My 12 Favourite Bat Villains

So at the beginning of the month, I listed my 10 Favourite DC Villains. However, since I knew it would otherwise be a Batman/Batgirl bonanza of baddies, I limited them to two. And since I wanna cover 10 villains who I haven’t already covered in my previous list, and two of my favourites are characters I’ve yet to shut up about, let’s just say that they’re #1 and #2…

#1 – Poison Ivy, and #2 – The Joker

…and let’s look at #3 – #12 of my 12 Favourite Bat Villains!…Also, just FYI, be prepared for more than one of these choices to be as a result of Batman: The Animated Series. Just FYI.

#3 – Harleen Quinzel, AKA Harley Quinn

What’s funny about this one is that she’s worked VERY closely with both my #1 and #2 picks, being the on-again/off-again sidekick/one-way lover of The Joker, and the on-again/off-again partner/BFF of Poison Ivy. Originally, she was just The Joker’s henchman from Batman: The Animated Series. Once a psychiatrist, she was drawn in by Joker and became part of his criminal lifestyle. Since then, while she still regularly finds herself suckered back into working for The Joker, she’s also branched out on her own on occasion, teaming with Poison Ivy and Catwoman to become the Gotham City Sirens, being made to join the Suicide Squad, and even leading Joker’s army of crooks in an alternate universe in Injustice: Gods Among Us. Like The Joker, she tends to enter combat against Batman and other superheroes with an array of more comedic looking weapons, though they are generally quite lethal. Also, due to injections from Poison Ivy, she’s immune to most known forms of poisons and toxins.

#4 – Clayface

There’s been a few villains who have answered to the name Clayface, though arguably the most well-known is Basil Karlo. An insane Hollywood actor, he was originally just a villain in a mask, but later injected himself with samples of the others to become Clayface, gaining their shape-shifting abilities. Not only has he battled Batman, Robin, and Batgirl, but he’s also gone up against Wonder Woman and Donna Troy, and has had less than stellar relations with Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy. Recently, his shape-shifting powers have evolved to the point where he can assume the DNA of anyone he comes in contact with. However, this has come with a heavy price, as his own DNA has all but rotted away.

#5 – Victor Fries, AKA Mr. Freeze

Originally just a minor villain by the name of Mr. Zero, Paul Dini reinvented Mr. Freeze as quite possibly one of the most sympathetic villains in DC history. Voiced by the late great Michael Ansara, we learn that Victor Fries was a scientist whose wife, Nora, had to be cryogenically frozen to keep her alive after she’d been plagued with disease. At some point, Doctor Fries was involved in an incident with cryogenic substances that left him mutated. Now, he requires a cryo-suit that keeps his body at sub-zero temperatures to keep himself alive. Turning to a life of crime, his goal is to eventually obtain the resources required to find a cure for his wife, even if he has to kill to get it. He’s typically armed with a freeze ray of varying design and overall power, while his cryo-suit increases his physical strength to levels where he might actually be able to duke it out with the next guy on my list…

#6 – Bane

The man who broke the Bat, Bane is a criminal whose genius and physical prowess make him one of Batman’s most dangerous foes. However, I feel like something writers tend to forget, even when they know he has a genius level IQ, is that it was because of THAT that he beat Batman initially, NOT his brute strength. Bane knew that Batman could take him in a straight out fight. So, rather than attempt that, he opted to release the inmates at Arkham Asylum and let Batman go about bringing them all back in, all the while Bane deduced Batman’s alter ego and prepared to face the highly exhausted Bruce Wayne in his own home, when and where he was least expecting attack. This is what makes him so dangerous: It’s not his impressive strength that might actually be enough to inflict small amounts of damage to Superman, but rather, it’s his mind that makes him a near-unstoppable monster.

#7 – Roxanne Sutton, AKA Roxy Rocket

…I just like this one, okay? Although I find it interesting that she chose to be a villain. Given her back-story, she could’ve just as easily decided to become a crime fighter. Roxanne Sutton was a stunt double for big action movies, but was blacklisted when she began making the stunts too dangerous, clearly getting off on the thrill. Frankly, if she wants a thrill, she shoulda helped the Justice League against Darkseid. Now THERE’S a life-or-death scenario for ya. Then again, she’s also tussled with Batman, Batgirl, and even Superman on occasion, so make of that what you will. She’s never seen in action without her trademark rocket, which she has spares of hidden away for emergencies, and she generally likes to be armed with flare guns and other explosives. She’s not really cruel to the people she robs, though. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her intentionally try to outright kill anyone, save for the end of her début, when she almost crashed herself and Batman into a cliff, and we got to see just how far her obsession with thrills (and pushing the limits of the censors) went…

…Yeah, don’t pretend you weren’t thinking it. lol

#8 – Edward Nygma, AKA The Riddler

Riddle me this, riddle me that…he really SHOULD be afraid of the big bad Bat. Nevertheless, Edward Nygma has proven again and again that he has no fear of Batman. While he’s by no means a match for Batman on a physical level, he lives to test him on a mental level. In fact, his obsession with proving to be Batman’s intellectual superior is usually what leads him to leave riddles for his enemy, to see if he can actually keep up. However, Batman more often than not is more than capable, which has led to more than one humiliating defeat for The Riddler. Still, he should never be underestimated, as he has at times gone to Joker levels of manipulation and cruelty.

#9 – The Court of Owls

Kinda cheating, I know, but it’s hard to pin down a specific individual within the group that makes a better antagonist for Batman than the others, other than Lincoln March/Thomas Wayne Jr., whereas the group as a whole has proven to be a MASSIVE threat to Batman more than once in the past couple of years. They’re deeply entrenched in Gotham’s past, their soldiers are undead and near-unstoppable, and they have near-infinite amounts of time and resources with which to make their plans. Eliminating them for good may yet prove to be impossible, but their plans can be stopped, even if only long enough to force them back into hiding.

#10 – Shauna Belzer, AKA The Ventriloquist

If you thought the original Ventriloquist was creepy, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! This woman is a freaking horror movie monster! Like the others, she’s a psychotic killer with impeccable voice-throwing and impersonation skills. Where she differs is her general attitude, her sickly appearance, and the fact that she may or may not be a metahuman of some sort, able to control dead or otherwise inanimate objects. For example, her doll, ‘Ferdie’, and even her dead parents. This hasn’t been confirmed, however, as it could simply be some sort of trick, but there’s no way to know so far…which is just how I like it, to be honest. Of course, as her appearance might suggest, she’s not exactly very adept at defending herself otherwise, and is taken down rather easily. Still, that requires one to get past Ferdie and the rest of her unwilling accomplices.

#11 – Harvey Dent, AKA Two-Face

You know how I said Mr. Freeze is one of the most sympathetic villains ever? Well, if there was ever another DC villain to dispute that title, it’s these next two, starting with Two-Face. Once Harvey Dent, a district attorney who, together with Batman and Commissioner Gordon, sought to put the worst of Gotham behind bars, he faced horrid tragedy when the left side of his face was horribly burned. With that act, a lifetime spent keeping a lid on his anger, bipolar disorder, and paranoia were undone, creating the split personality of Two-Face. His obsession over the number two has led him to enact crimes centered around it, and he’s obsessive-compulsive toward his coin, which he uses to settle most of his decisions. And if that doesn’t seem terrifying to you, just imagine a man holding a gun to your head, flipping a coin, and then trying not to piss yourself in fear over the results.

#12 – Mary Dahl, AKA Baby Doll

Yeah, it was a tough call deciding on the last pick. Granted, guys like Penguin, Hush, Professor Pyg, Ra’s al Ghul, and Scarecrow are great villains, but for me, this is a villain who, despite appearances, should NEVER be taken lightly in terms of overall threat level, and is really hard to hate, given her circumstances. Mary Dahl, an actress born with a condition that kept her from growing past the physical stature of a little girl, she became the sitcom character Baby Doll, until the show was cancelled and she eventually was set on a life of crime due to general reactions to her appearance. She came very close to murdering her castmates in an explosion, but was stopped by Batman. And I’m not gonna lie here, people: This episode of Batman: The Animated Series might possibly have the saddest ending to a DCAU production EVER. Don’t believe me? Well…you’ve been warned, people.

…I warned ya. And frankly, I’m not really sure why she was never used in the comics. Despite her obvious flaws, she’s inventive, creative, manipulative, and has a mean streak longer than…Yeah, I’m not using the short jokes. That’s a good way to get smacked. I’d kinda like to see her tussle with Babs one of these days in the comics. But, if not, I can always look back on this episode with fond, albeit sad, memories.

Anyway, those were my Top 12 Bat Villains. Got a favourite who’s not on here? Leave a comment below, and I will see you guys next time. Ja né!

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What I Bought Today – Talon #11 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Well, shouldn’t be too hard talking about…

 

…considering that I only bought one comic, and I’ll talk a little bit about what I didn’t buy later. For now, let’s take a look at Talon #11.

Well, I’ll give Mister Rose this much: He makes a pretty solid argument for the use of a good ol’ tactical retreat. Calvin makes it clear that Bane could easily crush him, but that getting into a one-on-one fist fight with him was never his goal: Instead, with Calvin’s buddies taking out Bane’s lieutenants, Calvin decides to head back to Gotham to warn Sarah of the coming army. However, when he calls, he gets Batman instead. While Calvin and the others were fighting Bane’s army, Sarah had escaped police custody and lit the Bat-Signal, only the Gotham Butcher arrived first. Although Batman managed to stop him from killing Sarah, her wounds are critical, and she may not survive. However, she’s still better off than Sebastian Clark, who Bane decides to kill in a single punch after his recent failure and with The Outsider giving him a better offer.

…Yeah, so some good news/bad news regarding this issue. First, please don’t let Sarah die. She’s been a delight to read in this series, and while she wouldn’t exactly be meaninglessly killed off, since you could say that, with her final act, she steered Batman in the right direction to help Calvin, it would still be a loss of a character that I feel has so much more to contribute. Also, I gotta say, Sebastian getting his face Falcon Punched in seemed kinda…wasteful. However, I somehow doubt this is the last we’ve seen of Clark, since he WAS the Grandmaster of the Court of Owls, and might have some of their stuff hidden away, HINT HINT.

Anyway, that’s it for this month, and looking to Villain’s Month, I see that the grand total of books on my checklist is…6. Half of which come out next week. lol So yeah, next week, we check out Batman and Robin 23.1: Two-Face, Action Comics 23.1: Cyborg Superman, and…yes, believe it or not, we return to Batman: The Dark Knight with the guidance of Gail Simone to learn more about the frakking freaky new Ventriloquist. Ja ne!

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Mega Evolution In Pokémon & Who I Think Should Get Them

So, the biggest piece of news regarding Pokémon X & Y as of late HAS to be the reveal of Mega Evolution. If you haven’t been paying attention as of late…well, remember that image we saw of Mewtwo‘s new form? Yeah. Apparently Mewtwo and several other Pokémon have the ability to use what are referred to as Mega Stones to Mega Evolve in battle. This new form of evolution is only temporary (I believe it wears off right after the battle, not sure) and grants new abilities, stats, and types to the Pokémon. Besides Mewtwo, the others that have been confirmed to have a Mega Evolution form are Blaziken, Lucario, Ampharos, Mawile (THANK GOD, and both its normal form and Mega form are now Steel/Fairy), Absol, and Kangaskhan (well actually, it’s more like the kid grows enough to get out of the pouch and help Mommy fight, effectively giving Kangaskhan two attacks). I’ve noticed that a pattern exists with these Pokémon, in that they’re all unable to evolve otherwise since they were either fully evolved or could never evolve in the first place, and all of them were introduced in Generation III or lower, with the exception of Lucario who was announced long before Pokémon Diamond and Pearl came out.

All of these Mega Evolutions look and sound great, and even people who don’t like the idea of Mega Evolution are glad that they’re implementing something new to the mechanics of Pokémon. So I was thinking, who else should get Mega Evolutions? Because they’ve already hinted that there are still a bunch more to come. So, here’s what I got for my list of Pokémon I’d like to see get Mega Evolutions.

Quagsire

Man, the original Water/Ground-type kinda got left in the dust a bit, huh? Other than having Water Absorb, it doesn’t really have much going for it that you can’t get out of the others, best examples probably being Swampert or Seismitoad *ducks Ice Punch from Poliwhirl*. So here’s what I had in mind: What if, upon Mega Evolving, it got Sap Sipper? Seriously, all of a sudden, Quagsire would be able to absorb attacks from the one thing that would normally have 4x advantage over it, the one thing that actually is super effective against it, and actually increase its Physical Attack from said attacks. You’d be horrified of what was unleashed upon you.

Slaking

Because we’ve already made Chuggaaconroy happy by making to out of six of his Emerald team Mega, why not shoot for three? XD Okay, seriously, here’s why: As I’ve made mention to before, while Slaking has Legendary level stats, it only attacks once, then loafs around for a turn before it can attack again. By Mega Evolving, it could shake free of that ability, or maybe gain a new Ability that lets it attack two turns in a row before loafing for a turn. Because two is fine with those kind of stats, honestly.

Plusle and Minun

…No, seriously. Imagine if these two had the ability to Mega Evolve together and become a badass while keeping their cuteness? Think about it, they’re basically designed to work as a team in the first place. With their powers combined into one Pokémon, Plusle and Minun could be near unstoppable. And yeah, I know this is basically DNA Digivolving, but let’s be honest, Mega Evolution is already Digivolving, we might as well go the whole ten miles with this. lol Other duos could get ’em too, like Illumise/Volbeat, Seviper/Zangoose, Electivire/Magmortar, and so on, but I’d hold back a generation before going all out with the various Jogress Evolutions.

Farfetch’d

Yeah, if you’ll recall, I mentioned before how this poor bird drew the short end of the leak with Game Freak. I don’t know what Farfetch’d did to deserve being left behind, while the other four must-trade-for Pokémon from the original games (Mr. Mime, Jynx, and Lickitung) all got new forms and ways to be useful in the new generations, but I think six generations is long enough to get left out of all the fun. Besides, two other Pokémon on my 10 Pokémon That Got The Shaft list are getting evolutions.

Charizard

I honestly cannot imagine them doing Mega Evolution and not giving one to Charizard. It’ll be either X & Y or whatever the heck Generation VII is, but it WILL happen. And of course, it would have to become Fire/Dragon upon Mega Evolving. There’s just no way to avoid it. To be honest, I think all three Kanto Starters should get one, but of all three, I think Charizard is the most likely to actually happen. And speaking of Pokémon that could become Dragon-type after Mega Evolving…

Gyarados

Little known fact, Gyarados was originally supposed to be Water/Dragon in the old games. The reason they didn’t do it is because the only Dragon-type attack then was Dragon Rage, which did a set amount of damage, and the Water-type would make the Ice-type damage Gyarados would receive be just neutral damage. That means it wouldn’t have any exploitable weakness, and in the old games, that would make Gyarados far too big a destructive force. But we’ve gone beyond that, and there really is no reason to deny Gyarados any longer.

Pikachu

…Hear me out, people. While I personally feel that the other Mega Evolutions should follow the pattern it has been on thus far, I think giving one to Pikachu would be a good idea. Why? Well, for starters, it hasn’t had much new to work with since Volt Tackle, and it shows when the newest move Ash’s Pikachu learned is Electro Ball. Speaking of which, you know how Ash’s Pikachu refuses to evolve because he wants to stay as he is? Well, Mega Evolution is only temporary. That’s the loophole. That’s how you finally get something new and AWESOME outta Pikachu.

So, there’s some Pokémon I’d like to see get Mega Evolutions in the future. What would you like to see get a Mega Evolution? Leave a comment below, and we’ll see who gets their wish in X & Y. Ja né!

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How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – The Big 3

So you’ll notice I haven’t done What Would I Do With The New 52 in a while. The reason is actually quite obvious: There’s really no point. The New 52, if you actually still wanna call it that since it is neither new nor made up of 52 comic series, is whatever Didio and the rest of the higher-ups at DC Comics choose it to be. Hell, they’re even rebooting stuff that’s already rebooted, like redesigning Lobo so he looks like something outta Twilight. On top of that, a lot of what I was suggesting actually ended up being what we got anyway, so why bother talking about what I’d do different?

So I was thinking the other: What if I was tasked with rebuilding the entire DC Universe from scratch, either for a reboot or a fanfic or a DC equivalent of the Marvel Ultimate universe? How would I do a whole new DC Universe, while still taking cues from things that have been done in previous continuities? So, that’s what I’m here to talk about: How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? Let’s start with the Big 3 of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. (Btw, if you wonder why I bother with THIS, it’s simply because I never know what I might wind up doing in the future. I might end up writing a DC fanfic someday, I don’t know.)

Superman

For Superman, I’d probably wanna tell both the current stories of Superman, what he’s doing in the present day, while also covering his teenage years, bringing back the old Superboy. Plus, he’d be wearing the tights his mother made for him as a teenager, but then upgrade to a more modern suit in his adult years. That said, I think I’d want said suit to at least look similar to his tights. There’s actually a concept art for Superman in Injustice: Gods Among Us that shows him in an armoured version of the old Superman tights that would actually look great (side-note, looking at him in that suit with that face, they SO shoulda used that for Regime Superman in that game). Also, I’d probably take a note from Man of Steel and have Lois Lane know who he is from the start and be his support/love interest.

Batman and Robin

For Batman, I’d probably wanna start his story off as Robin (Dick Grayson) finishes his training and the two are ready to tackle crime as a duo. I would of course make reference to Batman and Robin‘s origins, but I’d keep them generally the same and only make small references since…well, you don’t really NEED to constantly go over the origin story, since most people already flipping know it. Batman would probably wear a suit akin to The Dark Knight costume, albeit with dark blue and dark gray instead of pure black all over, while I’d imagine Robin would wear something close to his Teen Titans outfit, but possibly also have the wings Tim Drake currently uses folded under it for flight.

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman needs to go back to being the compassionate one, the Spirit of Truth, someone who would never kill or allow death to occur on her watch, while at the same time would straight up headbutt Darkseid in the teeth during one of his speeches. lol Also, re-establish her and Superman’s FRIENDSHIP. I really feel like making them a couple cost them something far more important. I’d probably bring back Donna Troy as well, using the idea of her being a mirror-reflection of Diana as a teenager, without confusing her back-story the way it was originally. As for her costume…Yeah, I’m sorry, I’d probably put her in the pants too. Sorry for anyone who has a problem with that, but I’d put her in pants. Also, I think I’d wanna give her the tiara with a nose-guard that we see in her appearances in Frank Miller books, minus anything else that she has/does/acts like in Frank Miller books. lol

So that’s what I’d do with those three if I was doing one of those three things (alternate universe, reboot, or fanfic). What about you guys? Leave a comment below describing what you’d do in those scenarios, and next up, we’ll talk some of the other major heroes, like Green Lantern and The Flash. Ja né!

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What I Bought Yesterday – Supergirl #23, X-Men #4, Batman and Robin #23 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

…

Yeah, I know! I finally remembered to do it on time yesterday, and then I forgot to cover three of the four books I got because I got caught up in other stuff. At this point, I don’t even know why I bother calling my comic recaps What I Bought Today…well, other than because Morgan was awesome enough to make the logos for me, and it’d be a huge waste to not use them. Y’know, I just thought of the What I Bought Today Drinking Game: Every time I fail to release it on the day I bought whatever I’m talking about, take a shot. But before you do that, let’s talk Supergirl #23.

So because I just know people probably are already aware of how this issue ends, I’m gonna get right to it: No, Supergirl isn’t really dead. Well, in the sense that even if she IS dead, chances are she’s got a Get Out Of Death Free Card of some sort coming to her next issue. So why do I know that people are likely talking about this? Well, because this issue shows a female character getting axed off, and ever since DC decided to shove Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend in a fridge a long while back, every time a woman is shown to be killed or even possibly killed, DC’s female fanbase (and yes DC, whether you want to believe it or not, you do have a LARGE female fanbase) sets pitchforks on fire and hunt for the head of DC’s head. Now, don’t misunderstand, a lot of times they’re completely right to do so. All I’m saying is that if anyone thinks what happens in this book is gonna be long-lasting, please think again. She’ll be brought back to life, and that’ll lead to a three-way fight of sorts between Supergirl, Cyborg Superman, and Cyborg Superman’s creator, who is confirmed to be Brainiac when he arrives at the end of this issue because Cyborg Superman apparently screwed him over somehow. Other than that, the book is alright, except that Supergirl gets INSANELY angry at the recreations of the people in her memories, but that could just be because of the fact that she was kinda dying at the time.

X-Men #4 was…eh, alright. They got a new artist for this done-in-one story where the X-Men take the Blackbird to save a jet full of people, and the art isn’t that great. Plus, a lot more of the focus is on Rachel Grey and Storm having personal issues, while Jubilee takes Shogo to hang out with Wolverine in Jubilee’s old neighbourhood. But hey, there’re some genuinely awesome and funny moments out of Psylocke, Rogue, and Kitty as they try to save the plane, and the stuff with Jubilee and Wolverine is heartwarming enough. Plus, this is really just an interlude before Battle of the Atom begins, so it’s not like I expect this to be the quality they’ve been at or will stick with.

Batman and Robin #23, AKA Batman and Nightwing, AKA Acceptance. If you didn’t have tissues when you read this issue, you were frakked. Basic premise: Bruce has been running a simulation nonstop for four days of the night where Damian died, trying again and again to save him, because he can’t accept that there was nothing he could do to save him. Alfred brings Nightwing to help, and I can’t help but notice he’s in the costume he wore before moving to Chicago. However, Dick instead joins Batman in the simulation, and between the two of them, they actually do manage to save Damian, and Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are able to take down The Heretic, ending the simulation. Later on, we see Alfred do his own simulation where he manages to stop Robin from leaving the cave, which Bruce catches. Bruce realizes that he’s been alienating the people around him by making the grief all about him and failing to see that he wasn’t the only one to lose someone, and he and Alfred decide to turn off the simulation, finally beginning to move on. Overall, great way to end this particular arc, and a fond farewell to Damian as we see him be badass alongside his father and partner one more time.

So, that’s all for this week. Next week, hopefully on time, we take a look at how Talon’s dealing with the forces of Bane, and we check in on Batman Incorporated, quite possibly for the last time. Ja né!

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Linkara Headed To Florida For Convention, This Will Not End Well (NOTE – CONTAINS A FICTIONALIZED NEWS ARTICLE)

So apparently, Linkara is headed to Orlando for a convention called Mythicon. This should prove to be quite the event, and as always, I look forward to seeing what comic he decided to review for the live show. But as we were reading this, PinkRangerWannabe and I decided “Wait, wait, there’s a joke to be made here”. And I tweeted most of what we came up with, but I realized a ways in that it was simply too much for a series of tweets to contain, so instead I decided to write it up here. So, while this is a parody of a news article, and therefore you do not have to do this for realsies, kindly imagine yourself downing headache medication, as we we open up the fictional file of…

So let’s get right to the headline that I would piss myself laughing if I found myself reading it…

Tourist Is Arrested After Punching Out Police Officer, Witnesses Claim He Said “You Might Be The Law…BUT I AM A MAN!”

“Orlando police responded to a disturbance at a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant located on Colonial Drive, apparently started by a tourist from Minnesota who had traveled down to Orlando for the upcoming Mythicon convention. The accused was said to have been demanding free chicken tenders after a teenager working in the kitchen got his order wrong. A yelling match and a fist fight lead to an employee calling the police. The man is said to have been threatening to unleash an army of Cybermats, a fictional insect-like cyborg from the popular British television series, Doctor Who. Said Cybermats turned out to be plushies, which the Minnesotan made himself, that several women on the force have decided to ‘confiscate’.”

Oh wait, people, it gets better. “The man was apprehended and taken into custody, but became violent again after kicking over a lamp at the OPD. When asked why he did this, he proceeded to simply grumble to himself about the shape and colouring of said lamp, and refused to comment further. After failed attempts at questioning him, the Minnesotan was placed in a jail cell, following a phone call and a request for reading material. 4 hours later, a man who looked surprisingly similar to the arrested man arrived to provide bail, but had to be detained as well because he had brought a tommy gun into the police department. Both men were forced to remain at the OPD until the next morning, when they were bailed out by the first man’s mother and what appeared to be a blue robot made out of cardboard.”

…Yeah, Lewis is gonna murder me for this one. XD Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this first ever fictionalized Tale of Dumbassery, and lemme know if this is something I should ever try again. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Superman Unchained #3 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

WHOA, this is actually on time?! That’s right, it’s the return of…

So this week, there were some awesometastic comics released, so let’s check ’em out. But, since I have a lot I wanna say about one in particular, I’ve decided to give it its own individual post. So, the first comic up to bat today: Scott Snyder‘s Superman Unchained #3!

…Okay, I started this by making a baseball analogy, but I think football might be more appropriate here: Wraith (that’s the super-powered being they had underground) actually kicks Superman from the Salt Flats to Needles. However, it seems it was only to appease General Lane, after which Wraith asks Superman if he’d like to see his home…No, I’m not kidding. He comes off as somewhat socially awkward in that sense. So they go to his home, and Wraith and General Lane explain that in 1939, Wraith crashed into Earth and was found by General William Rudolph. Apparently he was involved in settling a number of wars over the past 8 decades, during which he was given the name Wraith, which stands for William Rudolph’s Ace In The Hole…and I will admit that I find that abbreviation kinda clever. Also, General Lane makes it clear what his problem with Superman is: It isn’t that he’s an alien, or that he finds him to be some all-powerful threat. Rather, Lane’s problem is that he WANTS Superman to go take down dictators and warlords, but instead he spends his time saving satellites and falling buildings, and by doing so, he lets more people die.

I should note for the record that I don’t find this being an example of Scott Snyder getting the message of Superman wrong. Rather, I believe he’s intentionally writing General Lane as someone who gets the message of Superman wrong to make a point. You see, if Lane had his way, Superman would have executed every last dictator in the world, as well as every single individual who was ever seen as a threat. However, Superman doesn’t do that, and with good reason: He’s not a one man judge, jury, and executioner. That’s not how he operates. To do so would not only compromise his ideals, but also put himself on too high a pedestal, which actually proves how wrong Lane’s got it, since he thinks Superman spends his time saving people to hear applause. And he doesn’t try to become overly involved in our every issue, because what would happen if we became so dependent on him and then, for whatever reason, he was gone? All that Superman can do is try to be the best person he can, so that we can learn from his example and be better for that, so that maybe someday we won’t need people like Lane going to war with evil diplomats, because there won’t be any. That’s something I feel a lot of writers continuously miss. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even necessarily blame the writers currently making that mistake, since that’s just been the way it’s been for so long. However, I can tell that Snyder CLEARLY gets the message of Superman, because, in an odd way, only someone who truly got it could write one of the antagonists as having failed to get the message as bad as Lane does here.

But anyway, enough ranting for now. While all this is going on, Lois Lane‘ plane has been forced down into the ocean by the Ascension group, but she and the others aboard are saved by…a bald guy holding a glowing blue crystal. I assume we’ll learn his deal next time. Speaking of Ascension, they start a ruckus in Tokyo, so Superman and Wraith go to deal with it. Wraith mentions that he feels very honoured to be fighting alongside Superman, but lets it slip that it’s also a shame. Why? Because apparently, sometime after they deal with Ascension, Wraith is going to have to kill Superman…Like I said, kinda socially awkward. And all the while, Lex Luthor is up to his old tricks, and has a super-suit stomping around, looking to do some damage, and eventually decides to go kidnap Jimmy Olsen…because Lois wasn’t home at the time, I’m guessing. lol

10.0! XD

So I have a question: When this book is LEAGUES above Action Comics and the main Superman title, why did we have to wait two years to get it? I’m just saying, the team of Snyder, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, and Dustin Nguyen bring a MUCH better Superman book than we’ve gotten at LEAST since the beginning of The New 52. Heck, even Grant Morrison‘s run with Action Comics wasn’t all that good, and he’s the man who wrote arguably the greatest Superman tale of all time. The only thing I can think of is that Snyder was busy writing too many books at the same time and was only able to do this when he left Swamp Thing, and that theory falls flat when you realise he’s STILL writing a bunch of other books at the same time as this now, so…Yeah, I have no idea. Either way, though, this is the main reason I decided I needed to take this time to talk about this book on its own. I’m aware that there are a LARGE number of jaded Superman fans out there right now, and I’m just gonna say this: If you’re sick of how Superman is represented in the current crop of DC Comics, but you still want something new to add to your collection, this is your best option. Is it in the same league as All-Star Superman? Of course not, not even close. But it’s still the best Superman book going right now, and everyone NEEDS to know this.

So that’s Superman Unchained. Next up, time to take a look at the other books I bought today, and I hope you brought tissues for one of them, because if not, you are SO screwed. Ja né!

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Jyger’s Rant – What I Liked and Didn’t Like About Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So I just got finished watching Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, which is an animated movie based off the event comic Flashpoint. If you’ve never read the book or seen the movie, then I’m sorry, spoilers ahead. However,I’d wager to bet that everyone reading DC nowadays at least has heard of Flashpoint and knows that it’s the event that closed out the previous continuity in DC Comics, established with Crisis on Infinite Earths and shaping the modern DC universe, and began the DCnU, also known as The New 52 (even though it’s two years old and does not currently consist of 52 books like it originally had). Either way, here’s a brief summary of the events for those who don’t wanna read it, or who have and need a refresher on what happened. This is Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox.

The Flash (Barry Allen) is consumed with grief over the loss of his mother, so he decides to use his speed to travel back in time and save her. However, when he wakes up the next day, the world isn’t like he remembers. Kal-El was never found by the Kents, instead held in a government compound. Bruce Wayne was shot by Joe Chill and his father, Thomas Wayne, becomes a gun-totting Batman while his wife, Martha Wayne, goes insane and becomes The Joker. Aquaman has an affair with Wonder Woman, which Mera discovers, and is killed in self-defense when she attacks Diana, leading Themyscira and Atlantis to all-out war. And lastly, Cyborg is working for the government, trying to bring together a group of heroes (and a villain or two) to stop Diana and Arthur from causing World War III. There’s a ton of other characters involved, like Grifter, Hal Jordan, Lois Lane, Shazam, and Captain Atom, but it mostly centers around Flash, Batman, Cyborg, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and Professor Zoom.

Anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, Barry travels to Gotham City and meets Batman, telling him what happened. He finds Professor Zoom’s suit in his ring instead of his own, and Batman theorizes that Zoom planted it there to let him know he’s still around, leading Barry to believe Zoom is the cause of the change to history. However, after the final battle between Aquaman and Wonder Woman begins and the heroes try to stop the war, Zoom arrives to tell Barry that he didn’t do anything: Barry is the cause. When Barry broke through the time barrier to save his mother, he created a time boom (comparative to a sonic-boom created when someone breaks the sound barrier) that altered history. Batman kills Zoom, since he was siphoning off the Speed Force and keeping Flash from going through time again, so that Barry can go back and stop himself from altering history, thus averting the crisis that almost destroyed the world. However, while that succeeds, we see in the end that he and Batman’s costumes have changed, though neither notices the difference, as the universe has still been changed into that of the DCnU.

There’re a lot more details to go over, but because I’m honestly left liking a lot of moments in this movie and hating others, I’m gonna give my thoughts based on lists of what I liked and hated. Also, I don’t wanna compare this to the book, since the only part of Flashpoint I ever read was the ending, but there IS something that happens there that didn’t happen in the movie, so I’ll leave that for after my lists. So first, here’s what I liked about this movie.

1. Pretty much the entirety of the Flash Museum battle, in particular how Professor Zoom’s bombs are dealt with. The Justice League show up to help Barry with the situation, as Zoom has planted bombs on The Rogues, and we see them all using their unique powers, skills, and quick thinking to deal with each one: Aquaman has millions of microbes eat one bomb for dinner, Batman and GL disable one in space, Atom fries one in the atmosphere, Wonder Woman uses Captain Cold’s freeze gun on one, Flash uses his speed to gather a ball of wind to knock out one he can’t reach, and Superman…Well, Superman just clutches the last one in his hands and lets it blow up rather harmlessly. lol
2. Lois Lane is not shown to die…I KNOW, RIGHT?! I mean, we can infer that when Aquaman blows up Captain Atom to destroy the surface world that she would’ve died, but since we never see her die and Flash goes back in time before the blast is completed, we can’t really add her to the kill-count in this movie (which sadly, there IS a rather lengthy kill-count, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, not only does she not die, but she joins Grifter’s team and starts kicking all kinds of ass in the final battle.
3. I love just how many characters are involved in this. The Batsons, General Lane, Harley Quinn (now called YoYo for some odd reason), Flash’s Rogues Gallery, BOTH AQUALADS! I’m just a sucker for stories that involve LOTS of characters, because it makes me wanna brush up on what I know about them all.
4. This is a great movie for fans of Barry Allen. Actually, I would daresay it’s a good movie for people who don’t like him too, because we pretty much get the best of him in this movie. He goes through the process of recreating the accident that gave him powers, TWICE, even after the first time fails and leaves him covered in third degree burns. He rallies the heroes together to try and stop the war. He’s CONSTANTLY pushing the boundaries of what should be possible even for him, just to give this insane world a chance. And when he finally realizes exactly what’s happened, what he did to cause all this, he undoes it, because he knows what his mother would WANT him to do, and that the cost of letting himself do what he did was too high. No second guesses, no easy way out. Be a hero.
5. There’s just something about the ending where Barry gives the letter from his father to him that gets me emotional. It even lets me ignore the simple questions of how he should even be in possession of it if the timeline it comes from was erased.

…So that’s what I liked about the movie, but what did I hate about it?

1. As I mentioned before, the kill-count in this movie gets kinda crazy, and the violence gets pushed pretty high for a PG-13. Steve Trevor is hanged, Mera is beheaded, Cyborg is torn apart until his heart is exposed, Kal-El accidentally fries some soldiers when he gains his heat vision for the first time, Billy Batson (who I must remind is a kid when he’s not Shazam) is stabbed, and Professor Zoom has a hole shot through his head. Look, I’m generally the first to stick up for kids and what they can and can’t handle, but this woulda traumatized me as a child. And frankly, just the fact that we see these characters killing each other in such graphic detail when a lot of them are the otherwise good guys is so hard to watch sometimes.
2. Kind of a minor one, but Batman referring to Cyborg as a ‘boy-scout’ and Cyborg working for the government just makes me think of Frank Miller’s writing…in a bad way.
3. I’m not sure why this is called Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, when the members are only seen as being the Justice League in one scene. Other than that, it focuses primarily on The Flash and Batman (because he’s DC’s meal ticket, and as much as I love the crap outta Batman, it can get EXTREMELY annoying how much they push him, even in other people’s stories). Flash being the central protagonist is kind of the reason the comic was originally called Flashpoint.
4. Why is Wonder Woman a mass-murderer who assists Aquaman in cheating on his wife? Come to think of it, why is Aquaman an adulterer who then goes to war when his wife that he cheated on went to go kill Diana and was killed in self-defense? I get it, it’s a different version of the characters, but the changes in personalities and perspectives for the characters are usually explained, except for these two. The problem with that is that their conflict is the major conflict of the movie, since Flash has to stop their war from destroying the world.
5. Not that big a deal, but…WOW, Cyborg is tall in this! I know it shouldn’t bug me all that much, but in every scene that he’s in, I just can’t stop thinking “Holy shit, Cyborg’s tall!” He’s bigger than Superman, for crying out loud! And he’s got that big honking blaster on his right arm. Dude, I don’t think you need to compensate for anything! You’re freaking Cyborg! lol

…So now that we’ve gone over what I liked and hated, let’s talk about what big thing was missing from the movie: Pandora. Again, for those who don’t know, in the original comic, after stopping himself from changing history, Flash heads back to the present, but encounters Pandora. Pandora explains that the universe was split into three (DC, WildStorm, Vertigo) to weaken it for some coming threat, and that she’s using Flash’s travelling through time to recombine the universes, thus creating the realm we know as the DCnU. So, if she’s absent from this movie, what’s the implication? That Flash still managed to botch up history somehow? Now, it’s not as big a deal here as it was in the comics, since the movies jump around wherever they like and most exist in their own universes (although I’m pretty sure Justice League: War is a sequel of sorts to this), but it still makes me question it… … …Also, where the hell was Element Woman? o.O

Overall, what are my thoughts? Well, my biggest problem with the Flashpoint comic, at least what I read of it and about it, is that it seems relatively small when you consider it’s the last story of the former DCU. But again, that’s not a problem for the movie. Heck, I understand another movie they’re gonna do in the future is an adaptation of the story where Bruce meets Damian. The violence DOES bother me a lot, though, as do the Flashpoint-verse Wonder Woman and Aquaman. I DO see the heart of this story on its own, however: It’s about a man who fell to the temptation to do what he thought would be the right thing for someone he cared about, he made a terrible mistake, and when he realized it, he did what was necessary to set everything right, making the sacrifice needed to save the world. So, there IS a good story beyond all the blood and death…which, I think I may have heard was actually made worse for the movie, I’m not sure.

But anyway, those’re my thoughts on The Flashpoint Paradox. Have you got a different take on it? Comment below what you thought of the movie, the comic, the DCnU, whatever, and I will see you guys next time. Ja né!

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