Tales of Dumbassery – Sexual Indoctrination Programs is a Thing?!?! O_O

Before I get started, I would just like to say that I am going to be talking in this article about sex. If this offends you, turn away now. This is your only warning. Also, a lot of this is opinion-based, and I recognise that not everyone is going to have the same opinion as me. If you wish to voice your own opinion, please do so in the comment section below. All I ask is that commenters not argue with each other and turn it into a fight.

So I was reading some news sites, and I came across an article that mentioned something called ‘sexual indoctrination programs’. I had NO idea what in the flinging flanging hell that meant, so I asked my bbff (beloved best friend forever), PinkRangerWannabe, if she knew what it meant. I would like to apologize ahead of time if she got it wrong, because it pretty much dictates how the rest of this article will go, but this is nonetheless how she described it…

“Teaching 12 year olds how to masturbate, explore their bodies with mirrors and telling them that abstinence only means avoiding the type of sex that carries a risk of pregnancy and STIs.”

And then, I started to feel the sensation very much like what I would expect having one’s brain melting in their skull would feel like. Now, I refuse to believe I actually NEED to count off what’s wrong with this, but since it IS a thing, I have to accept that some people don’t get it, so here we go!

1. Anything that has the word indoctrination in it, BAD THING.
   
2. There is no way, no matter how you try to spin it, no matter how well intended you actually may or may not be, there is no way you can pass along the idea of teaching 12 year olds how to masturbate without somebody calling you out on it.
3. This one is actually one my wonderful gf, DorkynProudofit, pointed out: This will essentially become D.A.R.E for sex, meaning that it won’t work at all and will likely get them MORE interested in what they are being told to stay away from.
4. “Abstinence only means avoiding the type of sex that carries a risk of pregnancy and STIs”? Now first, let’s turn to Wikipedia to explain sexual abstinence…

“Sexual abstinence (also known as continence,) is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, financial, philosophical, moral or religious reasons.” Now, me personally, I feel that’s inaccurate. Granted, this is just my opinion, but I feel that if you’re abstaining from doing something, you do so all the way.

Anyway, those are my own personal thoughts on the matter. I will add that a lot of what I just talked about is involved heavily with Planned Parenthood, and there really is no way to discuss my thoughts on that group without discussing my thoughts on pro-choice vs pro-life. I’m not going to do that for very simple reasons: I am not qualified to talk about abortion, and I don’t want the comments below to become a pro-choice vs pro-life flame war. And I’ve seen it happen, dear God, I’ve seen it get blown up over the smallest of comments. So no, that’s not gonna happen. If I see people arguing pro-choice vs pro-life in the comments, I’m gonna shut it down. That’s not what I want people to do here. I just want you guys to enjoy the escapist fiction and absurd reality, and…well, this was some freaking absurd reality. Ja né!

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises #18…….Wut?

Okay, I’ve made it clear that I do not read Batman: The Dark Knight on a number of occasions. I find the stories to constantly be wrestling at the border of being boring or downright chaotic/nonsensical. As such, I did not read Batman: The Dark Knight #18. However, after reading about Batman: The Dark Knight #18, there was one moment in that book that I had to discuss…THIS.

…Okay, everybody with me now: Palm up front, aaaaannnd GO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E

…So, I decided instead to do some in-depth analysis to demonstrate, for those who may not get it, why this is BAD.

1. If there is a single person who cares even a little bit about the relationship between Bruce Wayne and Natalya Trusevich, I would love to hear your explanation as to why. I’m sure I mentioned this before, but when Ivy tried to create a hallucination for Batman in Detective Comics #14 and appeared as Natalya, I had a “Who the F is Surge?” moment when she showed up. I don’t find that they have any chemistry beyond what he usually has with his usual flings, and I don’t find her all that interesting, except for when she occasionally pwns Bruce for being…well, Bruce. But c’mon, that’s not that hard. Give me something more to work with. Good grief, I honestly find Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever to be a better match for him, and she regressed into a giggly schoolgirl trying (and failing) to be slutty whenever he put the Batsuit on!
2. Oh God, the dialogue. It is literally him repeating “This is who I am” over and over and over again. Oh, they tried to change it up by having him stress one word, saying “This is who I am” when they got to the Batsuit, but that was it. Ooh, that’s TOTALLY different.
3. The reason he does this is because Natalya decides she’s had enough of the usual Bruce Wayne antics and Bruce, in response to this, has a hallucination of his parents (yes, seriously) telling him when he was a kid to someday find the woman that will complete him. Okay, I am not against the idea of Bruce settling down and having a family, but if he thinks this woman is the one that completes him, he CLEARLY is even more out of his gourd than I thought.
4. Clearly the New 52 version of Bruce Wayne has not revealed his secret identity to many women before (in particular Catwoman), because I’m honestly trying to remember a single time in the comics that he ever revealed his identity as Batman to a love interest that didn’t end BADLY. The closest I come to is Catwoman, since nobody died and, while he decided they couldn’t have a romantic relationship just yet, they did continue to work closely together and flirt back and forth. But Natalya? She is so kidnapped AT BEST.
5. This one’s actually kinda dumb, and I could be way wrong, but I don’t think the primary Batsuit that Bruce uses is situated there. Not a big deal, just another level of stupid I couldn’t ignore.
6. While I do admittedly find it kind of funny for Bruce to take a girl that was gonna dump him and go “You don’t want this? Bitch, I’m the Goddamn Batman!”, it is HORRIBLY out of character for him. And so is that smile on his face that just says “I am going to show you something SO cool!”.
7. If you need any more reason to not like Natalya, it’s her reaction to all of this. She doesn’t even seem in shock so much as “I am witnessing…something…”. Now, granted, that’s the artist’s fault as much as anything, but still…

So yeah, there ya go, comic. You fail. In seven very distinct ways with just ONE page, YOU FAIL!

Anyway, leave your comments below, and feel free to check in this Wednesday with What I Bought Today, which will include Detective Comics #900. Ja né!

Related articles

• SPOILERS: Batman – The Dark Knight #18 (gothamspoilers.com)

What I Bought Today – Batman #18, Batman Incorporated #9, Talon #6 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Gosh, what day is it again? Oh yeah, it’s Wednesday, which means it’s time to look at…

So unfortunately, still no Batman and Robin #18, so it seems I’ll need to wait another week to get ‘the feels’. Until then though, let’s look at Batman #18.

So this is a really emotional book that shows Harper Row return, realising that Batman needs her help after he’s become increasingly reckless, sloppy, and violent. While I do like this book a LOT, I have two problems with it. The first is that, after saving Batman’s life and showing her new skills obtained from some training she’s been doing, Batman shows his appreciation by punching her in the face through a fence and telling her off . Now granted, he’s EXTREMELY sleep deprived, working both in the day and the night, and he’s only doing it to shoot down any chances she’ll try to become his partner, in essence trying to protect her. Problem is, he still punched a teenage girl in the face and broke her nose. He does apologise for it the next night, though, after Harper went to see Bruce Wayne about helping Batman (teehee) by sending him a message on the side of a building, ‘RESOLVE’ (with emphasis on the R). The other problem I have with this book, and I’m sorry that I’m not the first person to bring this up, but this is pretty clearly what A Lonely Place of Dying would be like if it was condensed to one book and was starring Stephanie Brown instead of Tim Drake. I mean, it’s still a good book, but I can’t ignore that it feels a lot like retreading old ground.

I should probably take a moment to address something. Supposedly, there’s sort of an anti-Harper stink going around. Some people saying that she’s just Scott Snyder‘s personal character project. Um, if that IS true, then guess what? EVERYBODY is a writer’s personal character project to begin with. So yeah, sorry, but you’re not gonna get me on-board with that. However, I DO have to ask, what the hell is Harper wearing? She looks like Holly Robinson when she was serving as Catwoman for a while. I mean, it works for now, but I hope it isn’t her permanent look.

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again

Batman Inc-Okay, I’ve danced around this issue for a while, but I need to discuss this: The continuity between Bat books SUCKS. They’re all good stories in their own ways (odd one out being Batman: The Dark Knight, though clearly some people are still buying it), but the continuity between them is TERRIBLE. Supposedly, they’re all happening simultaneously, but there’s no way that can work. But regardless, we’re back with Batman Incorporated after the death of Robin, and apparently Beryl has elected to become Knight, though it seems that people looking to possibly bring back Cyril are aware of the existence of another Lazarus Pit…Hmm…Anyway, it seems Talia has sent Gotham City higher-ups an ultimatum: Batman Incorporated is to be shut down, or Gotham will be brought to its knees. So yeah, Batman’s an outlaw again. Wonderful. Starting to see how this ends up getting us to the point we saw at the beginning of Batman Incorporated #1.

Talon #6, HOLY CRAP! So yeah, Calvin Rose starts to make an impressive escape, but it seems he’s caught again. Afterwards, he finds out at the same time as a snooping Casey that it turns out John Wycliffe, the current Grandmaster of the Court of Owls, is not the man who recruited Calvin into the Court. In fact, it seems that Calvin hasn’t been striking at the Court’s resources, but rather reclaiming them for the former Grandmaster: Sebastian Clark! DUN DUN DUNNNN!!! Also, seems that the Gotham Butcher, who is becoming even more difficult to control, is out for more blood, but he’s not after more civilians, he’s after Batman…Dude, you might wanna rethink that. Oh, and if you think all this is insanely shocking, guess who shows up next month?

WTF?!?!

Anyway, that’s all for this week. Next week, we traverse back to Earth 2, check in on Batman dealing with the Mystery of the 900 in Detective Comics, and hopefully I FINALLY get the last issue of Batman and Robin to be titled Batman and Robin for a while. Ja né!

The Hexagon – Vote Who Gets In!

So people following me on deviantART might know I have this little series of stories I call Superhero Tales. It started with Green Defender, the tale of a superhuman trained to become a hero who now returns to his corrupted home-town in the wake of tragedy to try to overcome crime and his inner demons. From that spun the story of Starslip, a teenage super-heroine being trained by Green Defender who has to fight the escalating crime in their town while also trying to deal with high school drama at its finest. And now we have The Hexagon, wherein Green Defender’s former mentor, a super-heroine named Strix is organizing a group of superheroes who will provide aid and information to each other in their individual efforts to fight crime and the various forces of evil. In other words, my fictional world‘s Justice League or Avengers type of deal.

Now for the past few months in my stories, I’ve been slowly building up to the point where the team will be assembled. However, at some point, I ran into a problem: I had created so many superheroes with their own unique powers and characteristics that I couldn’t decide on a finalised team for The Hexagon. So I thought I would introduce the characters throughout Green Defender, Starslip, and the first few chapters of The Hexagon, give some insight on their abilities and personalities, then ultimately leave it up to a vote. And that’s exactly what I’ve done.

Now, before I list the characters to vote for, allow me to give very brief descriptions of the cast already in The Hexagon, as well as show the character concepts I created for each on Hero Machine 3.0…

Strix

Created for my girlfriend Teagan, who also came up with the name, Téa Rodden is a billionaire bachelorette. However, don’t think her just a female Batman. While Strix DOES carry a vast array of owl-themed gadgets on her, she also has the power to fly at supersonic speeds and, when exposed to moonlight, gains superhuman strength. She also has enhanced senses, has studied many forms of martial arts, and possesses a vast wisdom and high intelligence. The origins of her powers are a secret she keeps from everyone, including her team-mates. Only her butler, Myron, and her agent, Maylene, know the truth of her origins.

Outrun

Again, Outrun was created for a friend, in this case my good buddy David. Stanley Davidson was originally a classmate and friend of the League of High School Superheroes, but one day a group of criminals able to combine into a burst of light moving at hyperspeed came looking for the teenaged superheroes and came crashing through Stan as he was helping them hide. Instead of killing him, though, this incident gave him their powers, thus creating Outrun, the speedster of the group. Since becoming an adult, he is now one of the founding members of The Hexagon. Stan usually keeps a number of helpful gadgets in his belt, such as a GPS tracker, tracers, plastique, and a multi-part collapsible rifle for firing his plastique and tracers from a long distance. I should note for the record that Outrun will be getting a redesign very soon, with will replace a lot of the grey with yellow, and include a visor over his eyes.

Green Defender

After a lab experiment that claimed the life of his high school science teacher, Geoffrey Hicks was infused with green voltage, a powerful self-replenishing electrical force that is channelled through the hands. Taken in by the League of High School Superheroes, he was taught how to use this power to defend the innocent, and thus the Green Defender was born. Wearing specialized gloves that keeps him from zapping anything he touches, he can also manipulate the green voltage in the form of electrical bursts and, most recently, energy shields. He also keeps a number of gadgets in his belt, like tranquillizer darts, explosive throwing discs, green voltage-powered stun batons, and a grappling gun. He rides his personalised ‘Emeraptor’ motorcycle, and while his cape was originally bullet-proof, the energy shields have made this function pointless, and he’s since upgraded to a para-cape for gliding, which will début soon in his solo stories.

Jack’d

Like something that leaped from a Tim Burton movie, Jack’d, once known simply as Jack, was chosen to be his town’s guardian during an incident where alternate reality zombie versions of the town’s populace started to leak through one by one. As such, he was infused with chaos magic that allows him to harness the power of the elements, at the cost of permanently scorching his entire body. This incident, as well as his constant struggle against the undead, has had a detrimental effect on his mind, but he still remains a good person who fights to protect the innocent. Jack’d has the power to manipulate the forces of fire, electricity, and wind, and can teleport to any location with a shadow over it. His personal weapon is a flail with three spiked balls chained to it, and he also has a bag of tricks that he uses in conjunction with his chaos magic.

There’s also another character that will début last as the sixth member of The Hexagon. Without giving too much away, her name is Zenith Woman (not the watches, leave me alone, lol), and she’ll be the true powerhouse of the team. In the meantime, here are the three I’ve lined up to become the fifth member of The Hexagon. I should note that I have plans for all three in case any of them don’t make it into the team, so don’t feel like you won’t be seeing any of the ones you don’t vote for ever again.

Bard

Created for N. Harmonik, Robina Huang was once just an innocent and kind girl of mixed heritage until she encountered a hero called The Bard, who wielded a magic music case that gave him the power to create any musical instrument he wanted, each armed with its own unique power. After The Bard was gunned down by the mob while protecting her, the case was mystically passed down to Robina as she became the new Bard. She is currently a member of the League of High School Superheroes, though she’s in her last year of high school and will be going on her own afterwards.

Maple

Trained at a young age to be a ninja, Nicole Steele decided to use her craft as a super-heroine. Donning a costume representative of her Canadian heritage, she has become Maple, a ninja so skilled in making herself unseen that even her red and white outfit doesn’t give her away much. Like Bard, she is a member of the League of High School Superheroes about to graduate. Unlike Bard, she is suspicious of the group’s leader and founder, though it seems these concerns are justified. In combat, Maple makes efficient use of her four-foot katana, smoke bombs, and shurikens.

Cybertaur

A good friend and ally of Strix’s, Stella Masters was once known as Brickwall, a super-heroine born with inhuman physical strength and, over the years, acquired an advanced knowledge of cybernetics. However, after an accident cost her the use of her legs, Stella created a horse-like walking apparatus linked to her mind, thus rebranding herself as Cybertaur. Stella generally wields a mace as her weapon of choice, and as Cybertaur, she can gallop at the speed of a cheetah.

So yeah, regardless of who is voted in, the team will have 3 men and 3 women. And yes, I did plan that specifically. I just prefer teams with an even number of members to have a good balance as far as gender goes, as well as a variety of colours (Zenith Woman’s colour scheme will be predominantly red, white, and blue). You can vote below in the comments, in the comments section for The Hexagon #4, or in a poll that I’ll be posting in my fan page on Facebook. Either way, PLEASE vote and/or comment on my work, and we’ll see who gets on the team soon. Ja né!

My Blip Videos and Account Are Gone

Well, I guess I might as well just tell it to you guys straight: My Blip videos are gone. Why? Because I asked that my Blip account and page be taken down. Long story short, they were making some changes to how they were planning to do things, and I just felt my days there were numbered, so I took off.

So obviously, all my Jyger’s Rant and Tales of Dumbassery vids are down at the moment. I’m gonna see about finding somewhere else to post them, but in the meantime they’re down. I apologise for the inconvenience.

What I Didn’t Buy Today (And Why I Should Have/Shouldn’t Have) – Justice League #18 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So I thought, as a little something special, I’d talk about one comic that I was kind of on the fence about buying, but ultimately decided not to. There were a few reasons that I could have bought it, though, and that’s what I’d like to cover here. So with that said, let’s look at Justice League #18.

So why should I have bought it? Well, for starters, there wasn’t much in the way of Superman/Wonder Woman romance, so detractors of that relationship would be happy. But I think the big attraction here is the LARGE cast of characters. Basically, after the last issue where the Justice League put the kibosh on the Atlantis invasion, Batman realised that it was likely that their enemies would start joining up against them, and that the government would lose faith in them. Thus, Batman and Cyborg explain that Cyborg has a network in his mind keeping mental track of lots of the known superheroes in the world called The Grid, hence why he was able to call for help when the others were in trouble. They then explain that they should consider recruiting some new members, and Flash suggests it might be a fun idea to have them come up to the Justice League Watchtower for a little meet and greet. As such, we are treated to seeing them meeting and conversing with Nightwing, Black Canary, Firestorm, Goldrush, Vixen, Element Woman, Black Lightning, Platinum, and more.

Anyway, for some weird reason, Platinum goes haywire, attacking everyone. They need to try and shut her down, but no one can get close, so Element Woman and Firestorm try to hold her off, Firestorm using his powers to try to force her back into her liquidy state and thus revealing…I think it’s her central processor, I’m not sure. Anyway, once it’s revealed, it gets taken care of with the emergence of The Atom. However, if you’ve been following along with news as of late, you’ll know that this is a new Atom, and…and…

Rhonda Pineda, AKA The Atom

…A-And, um…I, uh…

*slaps myself HARD* ANYWAY! So yeah, Firestorm, Element Woman, and The Atom are recruited into the League, mainly because they’re available full-time (what with Firestorm’s book getting cancelled, lol) and because they pretty much saved everyone’s asses. However, all is not well as someone sends an anonymous threatening message to their computer, thus setting up for the next arc which is promised to be lead-up for The Trinity War, the next big crossover event for DC.

So, why didn’t I get this? Well, admittedly this is kind of biased on my part, but I can sum it up in one word: Shazam. I hate the crap out of the Shazam mini-series that’s been included in Justice League ever since the beginning of the second arc of the book. It really centres around the fact that I don’t like what they’ve done with Billy Batson‘s character, changing him from a sweet, innocent boy who wanted to do the right thing and be a hero into a little punk who cons people out of their money. However, as I understand it, that story will be coming to a head in Justice League #21, thank goodness. If you like it, fine, I won’t argue with you over it, but me personally, I’m counting down the days until that subplot is over.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on this comic. Feel free to leave your own, and hey, maybe I’ll do this more often in the future. Ja né!

Related articles

• Johns Teases Metal Men For “Justice League” #18 (comicbookresources.com)
• Rhonda Pineda (comicvine.com)

What I Bought Today – Nightwing #18, JLA #2, Batwoman #18 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Yep, ’tis Wednesday once again, and despite the snow storm (this IS the first day of Spring, right?), I went to the comic book store, so let’s check out…

Yep, not only did I get the comics I had intended to, but I bought a little something extra too. So with that said, let’s look at the extra comic I bought, Batwoman #18.

Before I get into the comic, I suppose I should cover some of Batwoman’s background for people who don’t know much about her and think of her as older Batgirl or female Batman. Katherine “Kate” Rebecca Kane’s parents have both had extensive military backgrounds, and Kate herself joined a military academy, but despite being the top of her class, she’s forced to leave when she refuses to lie about her lesbian relationship with another student. One night months later, Kate is attacked by a mugger that she manages to defeat with her military training, just as Batman arrives. After helping her off the ground, Batman leaves the scene and Kate finds herself fixated by the Bat-Signal. This eventually puts her on the path to becoming Batwoman. She’s since been a leading character in 52, she took over as the main character on Detective Comics for a time, and now has her own solo title in the New 52. She’s battled the likes of the Religion of Crime, her insane sister Beth (also known as Alice), the Weeping Woman, and even Medusa. Kate has also been romantically involved with quite a few women in the DC universe, including Renee Montoya and Mallory Kimball, she’s worked alongside Wonder Woman on occasion (suggesting she has a small crush on Diana), is close allies with Nightwing (who is attracted to her, unaware of her orientation), and is currently engaged to Maggie Sawyer. And at this time, Batwoman is being forced to work for the Department of Extranormal Operations, also teaming with Betty Kane, once Flamebird, now going under the alias of Hawkfire.

Anyway, regarding Batwoman #18, it’s okay. I know that sounds like an insult nowadays, but really, what can I say? Not much happens, or at least not as much as I was hoping for. We get a fight scene with Batwoman and Hawkfire battling Mister Freeze, but the two are held back due to Agent Chase and Batwoman’s father giving what I honestly believe to be unhelpful advice to Batwoman and Hawkfire respectively. They eventually manage to take him down, but an accident injures Freeze’s leg, possibly critically. Batman shows up after the fight, and there’s some tension between him and Batwoman, not helped by Chase wanting to keep Batman out of their affairs. Luckily, they manage to leave the situation without a fight, but it’s clear that the DEO plans to try to gain further control over Batwoman by any means necessary. Also, we see a little of Maggie, and have it confirmed that yes, she and Kate ARE engaged, but I’m honestly a bit bothered that we don’t see more of what her reaction was to finding out Kate was Batwoman RIGHT BEFORE Kate proposed. Oh well, I’m just glad that it DOES look as though we will be getting a wedding from those two. There just aren’t enough DC superheroes with families these days.

I have no idea why Batgirl is on the cover, btw. She’s not in this book, at all.

Nightwing #18 continues the Requiem month for most of the Bat titles, and thankfully, this one actually ties in a bit to what’s going on with Dick Grayson in this story. He’s now dealing with the loss of Haly’s Circus, the circus folk leaving him, his complicated relationship with Sonia, and the deaths of two of his friends from the circus AND his former partner and brother in arms. It’s a horrible situation he’s in right now, and we see how it affects him and how, in the end, it looks as though he’s all too eager to leave Gotham, as Sonia drops a bombshell on him: Tony Zucco, her father and the man who murdered Dick’s parents, is alive and operating out of Chicago.

I find it hilarious that the one in the front, Simon Baz, has yet to be physically present in this book since he’s in outer frakking space. lol

JLA #2 was kind of odd, but in the way that I wanna see what happens next. We see that the Secret Society is looking to recruit Scarecrow (this was also alluded to at the end of Justice League #17 last month, btw), and that they have seemingly created duplicates of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. The wide array of emotions and personalities is put on display as the members of the League interact. Catwoman seems to have a small attraction to Steve Trevor, which is expanded upon when she learns of his relationship with Wonder Woman and it makes her feel connected to him, due to her own history with Batman. Katana drops a sorta funny line when J’onn is trying to make small talk and she replies that she’s not here to make friends, but that she will not hesitate to cut the first person who tries to harm her team-mates. Stargirl seems the most excited to be there, and she honestly seems like the most fun character of the group (meaning she’ll probably be my favourite, lol), while Vibe seems a bit uncertain as to why he deserves to be there. Hawkman comes off as rather insane, honestly, walking in with someone else’s blood all over him. We see that there’s some frayed issues with Trevor and Green Arrow (told you he was alive), since Steve doesn’t want Ollie on the team, feeling he isn’t ready for that. We find out that J’onn used his mental powers to allow an agent of the Secret Society to get into the White House and almost kill President Obama before J’onn stepped in, thus ensuring the President would allow the JLA to exist, and am I the only person bothered by the fact that they’re using real people in this comic? But yeah, all things considered, this book still works despite some hiccups.

Anyway, that’s all for this week. Next week, we watch the fallout of Robin’s death kick into overdrive in Batman Incorporated, catch up with Calvin Rose in Talon, and hopefully I manage to get the books I missed last week, Batman #18 and Batman and Robin #18. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Power Rangers Megaforce Deluxe Gosei Morpher

What’s this?! It’s Monday?! And yet, here we are, discussing…

So what did I buy? Well, believe it or not, it’s not a comic. Instead, I bought the new Gosei Morpher from Power Rangers Megaforce. Best of all, I bought it 25% off. *does my happy dance* …Oh, byte me, I never got morphers as a kid. Plus, it came with a few cards from the new Power Rangers Action Card Game, which I am hoping to eventually learn more about.

Also, if you’ve never seen the Gosei Morphers in action…

So, that’s my purchase for today. Come on back on Wednesday when I buy this week’s worth of comics. Ja ne!

Update on Injustice Roster and My Picks + Thoughts on Injustice Battle Arena

So it’s been a while since I made that video talking about my personal picks for the roster of Injustice: Gods Among Us. Since then, the roster has only managed to increase by A LOT, including some of the people I picked, so let’s look at the fighters that are confirmed to be playable in the game right now, as well as discuss their achievements in the Injustice Battle Arena tournament currently going on.

Man, am I glad this guy got in. As I predicted, Aquaman has some awesometastic and unique moves centring around his trident and control of the sea and all that exist within it, and in the first round, he knocked off Cyborg. Granted, he’s since been defeated by Hal Jordan, but he put up an excellent fight. I suspect him to be one of the more interesting fighters to play as in the game.

Like I said before, there was no way they could possibly NOT include Bane in this game, given that Knightfall was reprinted and he was in The Dark Knight Rises. Of course, he’s also the man who broke that Bat, a move he tried to replicate in the first round of the Battle Arena…only to later find himself getting rammed across the hood of the Batmobile…again. But regardless, I suspect Bane to be one of the biggest powerhouse characters. In fact, there’s only one other I can think of that does brute force better, and we’ll get to him later…

Because he’s BATMAN! XD No, seriously, I’m stuck for a single DC video game since Arkham Asylum, the game famous for breaking the Bad Bat Game Jinx, came out that didn’t include, reference, or in any other way include Batman. Naturally, he’s armed to the teeth with gadgets, he can summon bats to help him in combat, and he can even call his Batmobile to run people down like I mentioned he did to Bane. Also, he uses his grapple gun on airborne opponents while yelling “Get down here!”…Nice, Ed. How’d I KNOW you’d find some way to get Scorpion in there? lol Anyway, I suspect Batman to make it to the finals at least.

Frigging knew she’d make it in. Catwoman seems dedicated to fast, relentless attacks that just cut away at the enemy’s health, as I suspected she’d be. She’s a ravager, no doubt. She’s also highly acrobatic and can keep stronger opponents away with that whip of hers. For some reason, she’s not in the Battle Arena. Not really sure why. However, we have since gotten to see a great fight from her outside the tournament, and I’ll get to that later…

I just got one word for this guy being in, and I know I deserve to get smacked for it, but I’m gonna say it anyway: BOOYAH! Cyborg is packing some serious heat in this game, as I guessed he would be. Unfortunately, he got beat rather soundly by Aquaman, but we got to see some awesome action out of him before losing. And again, SO glad his Teen Titans voice actor is voicing him here. I can’t help it, it’s just the voice I hear when I read stuff with Cyborg in it nowadays.

Again, so glad I predicted this guy getting in. Deathstroke is just one of those DC characters you want to see in a fighting game like this, which is likely why he was in Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe. Anyway, Slade comes packing with his massive sword, plenty of useful gadgets, and lots and lots of guns. Also, like Catwoman, he wasn’t in the tournament, which is disappointing. He likely would’ve kicked all kinds of ass.

Here’s one that people kind of knew about being in the game for a while, but it’s still an awesome addition. As I alluded to before, Doomsday is probably the only character with more brute power than Bane, and his place in DC history was cemented in The Death of Superman, where he and Superman both struck each other so hard they both died from the blows. As it turns out, however, even death isn’t enough to put either one of them down forever. Since he was just recently confirmed, he wasn’t involved in the tournament, but he was shown off in a battle against Shazam, who he literally pummelled through the Earth itself.

Red streak speeds by, too fast for the naked eye…Oh, sorry, wrong speedster. 😛 The Flash is another of those fighters you completely expect to be in a game like this. Naturally, his incredible speed has made him a force to be reckoned with, blowing past both Shazam and The Joker to make it to the semi-finals, though something tells me he isn’t getting past Batman. Still, I suspect it to be a great fight, though not as great as the OTHER semi-final match…

Tally ho, mother frakkers! XD Okay, I’m not exactly a big Green Arrow fan, but I’d be an idiot if I didn’t acknowledge his place in this game. His swiftness, trickery, and wide arsenal allowed him to beat Hawkgirl in the first round, but then he lost to Superman in the quarter finals, and I’ll get to THAT later. Still, Arrow proves why he deserves to be here, and I would imagine he’s likely a character a lot of people will be playing as.

Well, I said this would be a no brainer, and I was right: Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern. His attacks seem to be based largely around the constructs he creates with his ring, and if his bouts in the tournament are any indication, he seems to be able to take TERRIBLE beatings and keep going. Thus far, he’s managed to beat both Solomon Grundy and Aquaman, but on both occasions (in particular against Grundy), he took severe amounts of damage before finally managing to come out on top, though his next opponent in the semi-finals could be the most dangerous in the entire tournament…

Well, this should make Linkara happy. lol Harley Quinn seems to be going it alone in this game with the Joker’s apparent death…although considering Joker is also playable, I somehow doubt he’s really dead. She lost in the first round to Wonder Woman, but she did manage to hold her own against the Amazonian warrior princess for quite some time. I suspect her wacky arsenal will give her an edge over opponents who foolishly choose to underestimate her.

Dammit, I wish I’d thought to predict this one. Hawkgirl is admittedly really only one of my favourites due to her presence in the Justice League cartoon, but her Earth 2 counterpart is pretty cool too. Her strategy is pretty simple: Fly fast and hit hard with that frakking mace of hers. Seems simple, anyway, but it works more often than not. Unfortunately, Shiera lost in the first round against Arrow, but she showed off enough of herself to demonstrate why she deserves to be here.

Yeah, dead my ass. Joker either used some kind of duplicate or got put in a Lazarus Pit. Either way, I knew damned well Superman didn’t finish him off in the comics. Joker is so hard to predict that he managed to get past Lex Luthor in the first round, though he unsurprisingly got beat by Flash in the second. I suspect the truth of his continued existence to be a plot point in the story mode.

Speaking of Lex Luthor, the runner up for Colin Mochrie’s title as Captain Hair has shown up with another of his mech suits, and I swear these things just keep getting more and more insane with every one he débuts. He also recently had his own trailer, hinting at his role in the story, though it remains ambiguous as to which side he’s taking this time around. Normally I’d say “the bad guys”, but perhaps not now since the villain for this story appears to be Superman.

Thank God, they remembered to put Nightwing in BLUE (except for the alternate costume which I’m not counting since it’s just that, an alternate costume). Again, not sure why Dick wasn’t in the tournament. I get the feeling like they just didn’t have enough slots for everyone and simply HAD to cut some people, but still, Nightwing would’ve been great. I would’ve LOVED to see him go head to head with Batman. He seems to be able to switch between his escrima sticks and his staff as his primary weapons, both of which he can send electrical currents through. He can also use electrified blades on his gauntlets while riding past on his motorcycle…Huh. So he uses electricity…he has a bird-like emblem on his chest…*imagines him green instead of blue, with red hair and a green cape*… … …Aww, dammit…lol

Once again, Azarath Metrion ZINTHO-WTF is up with her voice?! o.O Okay, voice aside, VERY glad Raven is in. Not really sure why she’s blue skinned, but hey, her skin turned lots of different colours in the comics, so no biggie. Her telekinesis and teleportation are both key components to her fighting style, but she also has the ability to go dark and pound the shiitake mushrooms out of opponents, like she did with Catwoman as I alluded to earlier, even able to summon FRAKKING TRIGON! She’s probably gonna be one of the more awesome fighters to play as… … …Seriously though, NetherRealm Studios, why that voice? You HAD Tara Strong IN THE STUDIO to voice Harley Quinn, why couldn’t you get her to voice Raven too?

SHAZAM!!! Yep, they decided to include Mr. Don’t-Call-Me-Captain-Marvel in the roster. He seems to be the game’s answer to Raiden, blasting opponents with magical lightning, though sadly without the random screaming. Unfortunately, Shazam got his arse beat by Flash in the first round of the tournament, and then Doomsday made an example of his strength by pummelling him straight down to the core of the planet and then back up to the surface again. Still, Shazam showed why he’s not exactly a pushover, and should be a good fighter to play as in the game.

There’s only one man in the DC universe who can claim he is the lord of fear above Scarecrow, and that man is Sinestro. He can use his Yellow Lantern Ring to create sharp claws, bindings, and power cannons. His super move is that he grabs hold of two meteors and sandwiches the opponent in between them, something no ordinary man can survive. Unfortunately for him, his first opponent in the tournament was no ordinary man, he was Superman, who crushed Sinestro afterwards. Nonetheless, Sinestro showed serious power and intimidation in that fight. My only question is, why the hell wasn’t he scheduled to fight Hal Jordan instead? o.O

Born on a Monday. Christened on Tuesday. Married on Wednesday. Sexual harassment charges on Thursday. Divorced on Friday. Restraining order broken on Saturday. Alimony on Sunday…Wait, that’s not right…Ah, whatever. One of the first fighters shown in action after the game’s announcement, Solomon Grundy was considered to be the powerhouse of the game…Then Bane showed up…and then Doomsday…and while I don’t think he’s playable, it wouldn’t surprise me if Darkseid’s in…Well, whatever. Grundy is interesting in that he’s not JUST blunt force used excessively. He uses the various cutlery stuck in his back to slash at opponents, proving that if you’ve got it, you should flaunt it…This is a WEIRD frakking paragraph. lol

Okay, I’m just gonna say this right now: I’m not bringing up the comics here. The game’s story wisely seems to be downplaying the certain stupid move involving Superman that makes me wish the comic would rot in hell, so I’m not going there. Anyway, most of Superman’s more famous powers are intact here, giving him enough power to first defeat Sinestro in the first round, then defeat Arrow in the quarter-finals in 52 SECONDS! Why do I get the feeling that’s revenge for the cheap shot in The Dark Knight Returns? lol Anyway, a lot of people have predicted that Superman will probably meet Batman in the finals, though for that to happen, Supes has gotta beat Green Lantern, and the Dark Knight has to get past Flash.

Because again, how can you have a DC fighting game without Wonder Woman? Her fighting style centres around her incredible strength, her sword and shield, and the Lasso of Truth. All of these things made her more than a match for Harley Quinn, but sadly couldn’t get her past Batman, which a lot of people are calling foul on since they’ve made it clear in various comics that Batman is no match for Wonder Woman. Still, I suspect her to be one of the best fighters in the game, and wouldn’t be surprised if she shows up a lot in tournaments.

So yeah, of the fifteen characters on my wanted list for the game, seven have made it in. Not bad, considering. I’m kinda hoping there’ll be a sequel and we can get some of the other characters I suggested in, plus some others I didn’t think of. There probably won’t be one any time soon, if at all, since obviously the priority for NetherRealm Studios HAS to be Mortal Kombat. Still, something to think about.

As for the Battle Arena, my prediction is that Batman will face Superman in the finals. Naturally, if this were a real fight, Superman would win (unless Batman used Kryptonite or the like), but since the battles are determined by votes from the fans and we all know how Bat crazy fans are, for better or for worse, whether it makes any sense or not, I suspect that Batman will win the tournament. Either way, be sure to keep checking out the new battles as they come out, and I will let’cha know what the game’s like when I manage to get ahold of a copy. Ja né!

What I Bought Today – Batgirl #18, Bruce Wayne The Road Home: Batgirl (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Well, it’s…erm, Thursday, so that means it’s time to check out…

So yeah, because I stayed in yesterday with a headache (and because it was flooding on the East side), I ended up missing Batman #18 and Batman and Robin #18, meaning I missed the two comics that are giving everyone ‘the feels’, as the kids like to call ’em these days. Good news is, while I was there, I found a little something I’d been looking for for a while, so we got ourselves a double helping of Batgirl today! So let’s start with Batgirl #18.

First off, I just want to say that the next few books with the Requiem logo on them better damned sure have more to do with Damian‘s passing than the last couple I’ve read. Now admittedly, there is one really good scene where Batman tells Commissioner Gordon what happened, but other than that and a few tears shed by Barbara (who I’m not even completely sure had much in the way of interaction with Damian), not much lending to the Requiem bit.

Other than that, this issue is the end of Ray Fawkes’ run with Batgirl, and…yeah, kinda glad it’s over with. Admittedly, Ray Fawkes does show some talent here, and Batgirl herself is written okay, but some of the choices he makes with this and the previous issue are kinda iffy. In particular, he honestly makes Jim Gordon Jr. an even bigger freak than I personally feel is necessary. Good news is, next month we get Gail Simone back! YAY!

DAMMIT, I miss Stephanie Brown! T_T

Okay, here’s the thing: I have all of Bryan Q. Miller‘s run on Batgirl that are within the actual numbered issues, but there was one comic that I was missing. Well today, I finally got the one I was looking for, Bruce Wayne The Road Home: Batgirl. For those that don’t know, Bruce Wayne The Road Home is the tale of Bruce deciding to test the various Bat Family members while he’s in the process of recruiting for Batman Incorporated. As usual, Mr. Miller reminds me of why Stephanie Brown is my favourite Batgirl: She’s witty, charming, spunky, and just plain fun. And really, what can I say about a Batgirl that does THIS to Batman (in this exact comic, actually)?

I rest my case. lol

Anyway, I should be getting Batman #18 and Batman and Robin #18 in a couple of weeks. Until then, c’mon back next week as I check in on Nightwing and the Justice League of America. Ja né!