My Thoughts On Batwoman #34

So, for anyone that follows comics, and for anyone who has read my thoughts on Batwoman, you all should know the situation involving her book by now. If you don’t, I’ve discussed what happened before, but if you don’t feel like reading all that, here’s the jist of it: At the end of Batwoman #17, released on February 20th, 2013, Batwoman revealed her identity to her girlfriend and police officer, Maggie Sawyer, and the two became engaged. However, on September 5th, almost a year ago, a statement was released by JH Williams III and Haden Blackman that they had walked off the book following creative differences with DC, specifically that they were, and I quote, “prohibited from ever showing Kate and Maggie actually getting married.” For historical documentation, I should note that I personally squeed at the news they were getting married, so of course, I took this personally. I was sad, angry, confused, and to this day, I still don’t have a clear, concrete answer as to why, if the marriage was such a problem with DC Editorial and higher-ups, then why was it ever given the green light to begin with, if they were only going to say no later. I mean, it’s been made clear that Dan DiDio believes that superheroes shouldn’t be married, that they should always be fucking miserable in their lives, but again, why was this green lighted if they knew it’d never happen?

*sighs* So, almost a year after we learned that the wedding would never happen, and knowing that DC would likely split Kate and Maggie up, the moment of truth is upon us in this week’s Batwoman #34. So, how does it end? Well, it ends badly, but let’s be honest, we knew it would. However, what’s actually so much more heartbreaking is the fact that this reminds me of One More Day, but in the sense that it almost feels like the antithesis of that story. There’s no deal with the devil, no changes to history, and the hero is ultimately making a personal sacrifice of her own happiness to help the woman she loves. Basically, Maggie is involved in a custody battle with her homophobic ex-husband over their daughter. In the end, the husband drops the case, but Kate leaves Maggie a note saying they need to take a break. It’s revealed that Kate made a deal with the ex (okay, so a deal was made, but there’s a big difference between some homophobic and frigging Mephisto) that she would stay away from Maggie and her daughter if he dropped the case, and she can’t ever tell Maggie what she did. It’s a heartbreaking, tragic end to their relationship…so basically, everything One More Day wasn’t. And the fact is, both of these stories were editorially mandated, so it really shows the difference between JMS and Marc Andreyko in how they handle editorially mandated breakups. Am I happy with it? No, but I wouldn’t be happy with anything Andreyko came up with for how to end this. He was in a no win scenario, people. There was just NO WAY TO WIN in this.

Now, as for the other half of what happened, and I dunno if this was mandated too or if Andreyko just really wanted to tell this story. Basically, while the drama of the custody battle was going on, Kate as Batwoman was dealing with the vampire criminal known as Nocturna. Well, in this issue, she gets a glimpse of Kate’s face under the mask, sees a tabloid with her face on it, and after the Kate and Maggie split, she sneaks into Kate’s house and…

…So yeah, Batwoman’s apparently a vampire now. And frankly, the part of my mind that constantly seeks a joke to break the ice is just thinking of this little gem from Justice League War.

Okay, I need to speak honestly with you right now, because I feel like it would show a lack of respect to my audience if I didn’t. And hell, you wouldn’t respect me if I didn’t. I have an admitted ‘thing’ for vampires. And before you ask, no, I do not read Twilight. lol But yeah, do I find lesbian vampire Batwoman hot?…Yeah. Yeah, I-I find it VERY hot. However, that said, I should also make it clear that just because something is sexy does NOT mean that you should do it in comics, especially when it causes a massive change to the narrative like THIS does. And while it is kinda sexy, it’s also kinda clichéd, almost like I’m reading Batwoman fanfiction. In fact, I’m almost certain this situation HAS occurred in Batwoman fanfiction. That’s why that scene in JLW was so funny to me, because so many fanfic writers have made Batman and the various Bat Family members into vampires.

So, again, I don’t know if this is Andreyko’s idea or not, I don’t know how long this is gonna last for, and frankly, I don’t know whether or not this means Batwoman will continue to be a heroine or if she’s now moving into anti-hero territory. However, I will reiterate what I said before: No matter what Andreyko came up with, we weren’t gonna be satisfied, so I’m not holding any of this against him. But I DO hold this against DC Editorial, in particular my favourite person in the entire Multiverse, Dan DiDio, and his idiotic, insulting, out-of-touch-with-reality viewpoints on superheroes that constantly makes me wonder how the hell he ever got to the position he’s in! And frankly, there’s been a rumour going around that part of Warner Bros. could be up for sale, and that various groups like Disney might be looking to purchase DC Comics. If it’s true, whoever it is, I’m gonna give you a little piece of advice: FIRE DAN DIDIO! He is the source of the worst of the drama and controversy in DC for nearly the past decade, and needs to be removed, IMMEDIATELY. Would it magically fix everything? Maybe not, but it’d be a HUGE step to help things out.

…Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the situation. Leave your comments below what you think about Batwoman #34, DC Editorial, Dan DiDio, Marc Andreyko, JH Williams III, whatever, and hopefully, someone with the power to do something about this will do so. Ja né!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite DC Kisses

Well, the weather outside is a tad bit frightful, so I thought I’d light a fire a little more delightful to warm everybody’s hearts. Here are 5 of my favourite kisses from DC Comics, cartoons, and whatnot, be they romantic, platonic, or otherwise. (You’ll see, lol) Just a warning, there are same-sex kisses here. If you aren’t a fan of that, might wanna leave now.

#1 – Selina and Bruce, ‘Batman: Hush‘

Remember when a bat loving a cat was one of the most romantic things in the freaking world? I know I do. And of all the kisses, the sex, etc. between these two, I think most people can agree the single most romantic scene between the two was in Batman: Hush. They were kinda reduced to just being groin buddies in the New 52, but recent events have suggested that they’ll be growing toward a more romantic coupling soon enough. Personally, I’m COMPLETELY for this.

#2 – Kara and Pam, “Supergirl #0”

Okay, I HAD to throw in a funny one, leave me alone. lol So yeah, if you don’t know, here’s the scenario: Supergirl is breaking up a robbery by Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, so Ivy decides to try out a Kryptonite lipstick and see if she can mind control Kara. Not only did it not work, but Pam wound up becoming Kara Zor-El‘s first kiss. I don’t know if they ever played up on that, by having them be awkward adversaries, but I know it would’ve made for some hilarious stories.

#3 – Maggie and Kate, “Batwoman #17″

Continuing with the lady-love theme, here’s the one that actually got me to squee. No, really, go back in my blog to before I was even officially reading Batwoman. I completely squee’d for this kiss. Sadly, DC decided to pull the plug on the marriage, but the two are still together, so perhaps the relationship can last long enough for the higher-ups to change their minds.

#4 – Harley and Bruce, “Harley’s Holiday”

…Okay, I lied, I had to have two funny ones. XD After Harley has probably one of the worst days of her life, where she was, and I quote, “Sick of everyone tryin’ to shoot me, run me over, and blow me up!”, Batman saves her life, then delivers the new dress she bought earlier to her at Arkham, at which point she kisses him not once, but twice, much to the amusement of Robin and Ivy. She then tells Batman to call her, although Batman suggests that she doesn’t push her luck, but I can’t help but wonder what ‘Mistah J’ might’ve been thinking if he’d either seen it or heard about it. XD

#5 – Lois and Clark, “All-Star Superman”

Remember how I said Batman and Catwoman’s kiss in Hush was one of the most romantic things I’d ever seen? With the glow in the moonlight? Y’know the one way you beat that? By actually being ON THE MOON! And of the many kisses Superman and Lois Lane have shared, this was easily the greatest one, at least in my opinion. And I guarantee, with the number of Lois and Clark moments they’ve been replicating with Superman and Wonder Woman in the New 52, I just know that, at some point, they will try to copy this. My advice? Don’t. In fact, I don’t get why you’re copying all the Lois and Clark moments thus far. If you want people to like the Diana and Clark relationship and stop freaking BEGGING you to bring back Lois and Clark, the LAST thing you should be doing is copying that relationship. You need to give them something new, different, and likeable, and with maybe one exception, I haven’t seen that yet.

So yeah, those are my 5 favourites. However, there are a lot of other good ones, some shared by the same people shown here, some not, and I know a lot of people probably have some favourites that aren’t seen. So, just for the hell of it, here’s a bunch more of my favs. 😀

…Man, for two people who were suggested to be gay for each other years back, Batman and Robin sure do get around a lot with the ladies. XD Anyway, lemme know if there’s a favourite of yours that isn’t present, or just talk about your favourite DC kisses in general. Ja né!

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How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – Martian Manhunter, Huntress, Zatanna, And More

Yep, here I am again, talking about How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch. As you’ve noticed, I’m currently in the middle of doing up a fanfic for Batman, but I might find myself doing other characters in the future too. So, let’s cover some of them, starting with…

Martian Manhunter would likely be operating as the one bringing together Earth’s greatest heroes to become the Justice League. Playing up the angle I had in mind with Starro the Conqueror, J’onn would be able to sense his coming forces and would be getting all the heroes ready to combat him. Generally, I’d want his personality and costume to be akin to his Justice League Unlimited incarnation.

As I mentioned before with the Birds of Prey, they would be more of a blend of the comic book version of the team and the Justice League Dark. As such, Zatanna would be a perfect choice for one of the team’s leading ladies. Her schtick early on would be that she’s trying to find her father, Zatara, the greatest stage magician ever known, as well as one of Earth’s greatest magic-based superheroes. Beyond that, she would likely act as both one of the team’s strongest members, and as a liaison to the Justice League. For her costume, going back to her stage magician outfit would have to be a must.

For Batwoman, I’d want her going back to what she does best: Being a loosely affiliated member of the Bat Family, and investigating Intergang, the Religion of Crime, and the various ties between different villainous groups and organizations. She’d regularly come into contact with Batman and the Birds of Prey, and work closely with either Renée Montoya, Maggie Sawyer, or both. As for her costume, probably a blend of her standard costume, the one worn by the Batwoman (or Batwomen, as it were) of Batman: The Mystery of Batwoman, and Batman Beyond. Basically, take the latter costume, make it more technological in appearance and texture, turn it black instead of grey, and make the inside of her cape, her belt, and her boots red to match her gloves and insignia.

For Huntress, I’d probably go back to her being Helena Bertinelli, though I think I’d wanna make some changes to make her seem like a balance between her and Helena Wayne. Slightly less violent, better relation between her and Batman, good friends with Power Girl, and so on. She’d still be regularly engaged with Mafia bosses, but less “blood cries for blood”. Also, she’d naturally work with the Birds from time to time. As for costume, I think I’d go with the Huntress: Year One costume. It’s awesome and classic all at the same time.

Y’know, a lot of people will make the argument that all the good stuff in The New 52 did not actually require a reboot to exist, but I would argue that there ARE some cases where the reboot did some good. Case in point: Vibe. Vibe has gone from one of the worst superheroes ever to being someone you’d WANT on the Justice League, because his abilities have been altered to be so awesome. Plus, they dropped the horrible outfit and break-dancer gimmick. So yeah, I think that’s the Vibe I’d want, costume, personality, and all. As for what he’d be doing, probably Justice League International, as well as keeping a constant look-out for portals to and from other worlds.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Next up, some more villains, including one of the most dangerous and lethal of all…

Ja né!

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Tales of Dumbassery – No Wedding For Batwoman

Well, it’s that time again, folks, and this one hits pretty close to the chest for me. So, let’s once again open up…

Hey, remember the February 20th edition of What I Bought Today when I mentioned Batwoman proposing to Maggie Sawyer?… … …Nevermind, here’s my reaction…

“So that’s it for what I bought today, but there’s one other thing I thought I’d report, and that’s what happened in Batwoman #17…

“SQUEEE, a wedding!!!… … …*ahem* Anyway, that’s all from me.“

…Yeah, I squeed! What can I say? I’m a sucker for finding out people are getting married and being happy, especially in cases like superheroes that go through who knows how much angst and sadness in their lives. This was a positive note for Batwoman, and it’s what got me to keep a closer eye on what was going on.

So, what do I see on Twitter when I got up at an admittedly absurd time today? Lewis Lovhaug getting into an angry rant on Twitter because JH Williams III and Haden Blackman are leaving Batwoman, ending with Issue 26, because DC editorial decided at the last minute that there was not gonna be a wedding…At this point, I would normally have to warn that an angry rant was coming up, but honestly, I feel more sad and confused than angry, and most of what I could rant about, Linkara already covered. Instead, let’s dig out the brainy specs and cover a few points about why this decision by DC makes no sense.

First off, I should point out that DC has recently tweeted that their decision to not do the wedding had nothing to do with Batwoman’s sexual orientation…and in doing so, it’s thoroughly clear that they miss the point entirely as to why people are pissed off about this. I’m not saying that no one is accusing them of being homophobic or whatever, only that if there is anyone doing that, they’re wrong. If DC had a problem with Batwoman being gay, she never would’ve been gay in the first place. And guess what, people? The modern Batwoman has been gay since her first appearance in June 2006. On top of that, if they were ever gonna undo that, wouldn’t they have done it in The New 52? Plus, we’ve seen women get married in DC Comics before. Hell, Secret Six actually had THREE women get into a polygamous marriage… … …Long story. lol

So no, sorry to disappoint anybody, but DC did not do this because Batwoman’s a lesbian. No, the issue is actually much WORSE than that: DC doesn’t want their superheroes married. Period. The only heroes I can think of that are married right now are Aquaman and Animal Man, and even they have their families royally screwed around with on numerous occasions. Why is that? I DON’T KNOW! I don’t think anyone knows! The closest theory I can come to is the same as why Marvel Comics broke up the marriage of Spider-man and Mary Jane: They didn’t think Spider-man could still be an effective superhero while being tied down by anyone, and they didn’t want the reality of Peter Parker married to someone infecting the escapist fiction of him swinging around a city and fighting bad guys.

And if that’s the case, I have to ask DC to do us all a favour: STOP. MIMICKING. MARVEL. Stop doing things just because Marvel did them. They may put out great stories, but they’ve also put out their fair share of horrible stories too, and One More Day was one of ’em. You keep trying this, to mimic what Marvel does in an attempt to win some kinda war with them, instead of focusing on what’s wrong with your own product and trying to fix it. This is not helping your standings, DC, it’s HURTING it. And while Batwoman being gay may not have anything to do with why you decided against the marriage, it should’ve been a HUGE part of the reason to let it go through. You’ve actually won awards from organizations like the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation for Batwoman. You would’ve benefited so much from this, especially given the fact that gay marriage is now legal in a crap-ton of countries, and a recent poll showed most of America was in favour of it too.

But hey, let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment and suggest that there was some reason beyond utter stupidity for undoing the plan to marry Batwoman and Maggie Sawyer. I dunno, maybe they’re planning to have her get together with someone else, or maybe Renee Montoya will finally come back and it’ll become a love triangle of some sort. Well, if that’s the case, then I have a question, and it’s one I actually posed to them on Twitter: If you were against the idea of the marriage to begin with, why would you clear it at all? Like, you realise this issue wouldn’t even exist if they were never engaged to begin with. You could just say they were living together. You could’ve worked something out with Williams and Blackman when it was first suggested, and say “We’re not sure we’re completely comfortable with the idea, but we really like your creativity on this book, so let’s see if maybe there’s something we can brainstorm together that we can all agree on”. This isn’t a hard thing to do.

So, now the question becomes, who is gonna be writing Batwoman starting with Issue 27? Frankly ,there’s only one person working for DC now that I can honestly see taking the reigns of this book with Williams and Blackman gone, and unless a miracle happens, she’s not getting it. And the sad thing is, no matter who it is, they’re pretty much screwed. Snyder, Johns, Rucka, Nocenti, could any of them do anything with this character that could possibly get fans interested in their run with the book? I honestly can’t think of anything. Plus, there’s the whole situation of Batwoman vs Batman and Batwoman being forced to work for the D.E.O. that I honestly feel hold the book down a bit, and I shudder to think that with Maggie gone (‘cuz let’s face it folks, that will probably be the end result, is Maggie either leaving Kate or getting killed somehow) that that’ll be the primary focus.

I honestly do not know where this series goes from here, other than what I just stated. And to be blunt, at this point, with people being as upset as they are over this, if I was running DC, I’d do ANYTHING to try and get Williams and Blackman back. Let them do the marriage. Let them do ANYTHING, if it meant putting the kibosh on the current outcry of pissed-off fans and trying to save this book. ‘Cuz if you think your readers’ input doesn’t matter, I wonder how much you think their money does.

Anyway, that’s my general take on the situation. Vote below if you think this was a good idea, leave comments, whatever. Hopefully, the next Tale of Dumbassery will be less painful than this for me. Ja né.

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What I Bought Today – Nightwing #18, JLA #2, Batwoman #18 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Yep, ’tis Wednesday once again, and despite the snow storm (this IS the first day of Spring, right?), I went to the comic book store, so let’s check out…

Yep, not only did I get the comics I had intended to, but I bought a little something extra too. So with that said, let’s look at the extra comic I bought, Batwoman #18.

Before I get into the comic, I suppose I should cover some of Batwoman’s background for people who don’t know much about her and think of her as older Batgirl or female Batman. Katherine “Kate” Rebecca Kane’s parents have both had extensive military backgrounds, and Kate herself joined a military academy, but despite being the top of her class, she’s forced to leave when she refuses to lie about her lesbian relationship with another student. One night months later, Kate is attacked by a mugger that she manages to defeat with her military training, just as Batman arrives. After helping her off the ground, Batman leaves the scene and Kate finds herself fixated by the Bat-Signal. This eventually puts her on the path to becoming Batwoman. She’s since been a leading character in 52, she took over as the main character on Detective Comics for a time, and now has her own solo title in the New 52. She’s battled the likes of the Religion of Crime, her insane sister Beth (also known as Alice), the Weeping Woman, and even Medusa. Kate has also been romantically involved with quite a few women in the DC universe, including Renee Montoya and Mallory Kimball, she’s worked alongside Wonder Woman on occasion (suggesting she has a small crush on Diana), is close allies with Nightwing (who is attracted to her, unaware of her orientation), and is currently engaged to Maggie Sawyer. And at this time, Batwoman is being forced to work for the Department of Extranormal Operations, also teaming with Betty Kane, once Flamebird, now going under the alias of Hawkfire.

Anyway, regarding Batwoman #18, it’s okay. I know that sounds like an insult nowadays, but really, what can I say? Not much happens, or at least not as much as I was hoping for. We get a fight scene with Batwoman and Hawkfire battling Mister Freeze, but the two are held back due to Agent Chase and Batwoman’s father giving what I honestly believe to be unhelpful advice to Batwoman and Hawkfire respectively. They eventually manage to take him down, but an accident injures Freeze’s leg, possibly critically. Batman shows up after the fight, and there’s some tension between him and Batwoman, not helped by Chase wanting to keep Batman out of their affairs. Luckily, they manage to leave the situation without a fight, but it’s clear that the DEO plans to try to gain further control over Batwoman by any means necessary. Also, we see a little of Maggie, and have it confirmed that yes, she and Kate ARE engaged, but I’m honestly a bit bothered that we don’t see more of what her reaction was to finding out Kate was Batwoman RIGHT BEFORE Kate proposed. Oh well, I’m just glad that it DOES look as though we will be getting a wedding from those two. There just aren’t enough DC superheroes with families these days.

I have no idea why Batgirl is on the cover, btw. She’s not in this book, at all.

Nightwing #18 continues the Requiem month for most of the Bat titles, and thankfully, this one actually ties in a bit to what’s going on with Dick Grayson in this story. He’s now dealing with the loss of Haly’s Circus, the circus folk leaving him, his complicated relationship with Sonia, and the deaths of two of his friends from the circus AND his former partner and brother in arms. It’s a horrible situation he’s in right now, and we see how it affects him and how, in the end, it looks as though he’s all too eager to leave Gotham, as Sonia drops a bombshell on him: Tony Zucco, her father and the man who murdered Dick’s parents, is alive and operating out of Chicago.

I find it hilarious that the one in the front, Simon Baz, has yet to be physically present in this book since he’s in outer frakking space. lol

JLA #2 was kind of odd, but in the way that I wanna see what happens next. We see that the Secret Society is looking to recruit Scarecrow (this was also alluded to at the end of Justice League #17 last month, btw), and that they have seemingly created duplicates of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. The wide array of emotions and personalities is put on display as the members of the League interact. Catwoman seems to have a small attraction to Steve Trevor, which is expanded upon when she learns of his relationship with Wonder Woman and it makes her feel connected to him, due to her own history with Batman. Katana drops a sorta funny line when J’onn is trying to make small talk and she replies that she’s not here to make friends, but that she will not hesitate to cut the first person who tries to harm her team-mates. Stargirl seems the most excited to be there, and she honestly seems like the most fun character of the group (meaning she’ll probably be my favourite, lol), while Vibe seems a bit uncertain as to why he deserves to be there. Hawkman comes off as rather insane, honestly, walking in with someone else’s blood all over him. We see that there’s some frayed issues with Trevor and Green Arrow (told you he was alive), since Steve doesn’t want Ollie on the team, feeling he isn’t ready for that. We find out that J’onn used his mental powers to allow an agent of the Secret Society to get into the White House and almost kill President Obama before J’onn stepped in, thus ensuring the President would allow the JLA to exist, and am I the only person bothered by the fact that they’re using real people in this comic? But yeah, all things considered, this book still works despite some hiccups.

Anyway, that’s all for this week. Next week, we watch the fallout of Robin’s death kick into overdrive in Batman Incorporated, catch up with Calvin Rose in Talon, and hopefully I manage to get the books I missed last week, Batman #18 and Batman and Robin #18. Ja né!