Daily Archives: March 31, 2013
Before I get started, I would just like to say that I am going to be talking in this article about sex. If this offends you, turn away now. This is your only warning. Also, a lot of this is opinion-based, and I recognise that not everyone is going to have the same opinion as me. If you wish to voice your own opinion, please do so in the comment section below. All I ask is that commenters not argue with each other and turn it into a fight.
So I was reading some news sites, and I came across an article that mentioned something called ‘sexual indoctrination programs’. I had NO idea what in the flinging flanging hell that meant, so I asked my bbff (beloved best friend forever), PinkRangerWannabe, if she knew what it meant. I would like to apologize ahead of time if she got it wrong, because it pretty much dictates how the rest of this article will go, but this is nonetheless how she described it…
And then, I started to feel the sensation very much like what I would expect having one’s brain melting in their skull would feel like. Now, I refuse to believe I actually NEED to count off what’s wrong with this, but since it IS a thing, I have to accept that some people don’t get it, so here we go!
- Anything that has the word indoctrination in it, BAD THING.
- There is no way, no matter how you try to spin it, no matter how well intended you actually may or may not be, there is no way you can pass along the idea of teaching 12 year olds how to masturbate without somebody calling you out on it.
- This one is actually one my wonderful gf, DorkynProudofit, pointed out: This will essentially become D.A.R.E for sex, meaning that it won’t work at all and will likely get them MORE interested in what they are being told to stay away from.
- “Abstinence only means avoiding the type of sex that carries a risk of pregnancy and STIs”? Now first, let’s turn to Wikipedia to explain sexual abstinence…
“Sexual abstinence (also known as continence,) is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, financial, philosophical, moral or religious reasons.” Now, me personally, I feel that’s inaccurate. Granted, this is just my opinion, but I feel that if you’re abstaining from doing something, you do so all the way.
Anyway, those are my own personal thoughts on the matter. I will add that a lot of what I just talked about is involved heavily with Planned Parenthood, and there really is no way to discuss my thoughts on that group without discussing my thoughts on pro-choice vs pro-life. I’m not going to do that for very simple reasons: I am not qualified to talk about abortion, and I don’t want the comments below to become a pro-choice vs pro-life flame war. And I’ve seen it happen, dear God, I’ve seen it get blown up over the smallest of comments. So no, that’s not gonna happen. If I see people arguing pro-choice vs pro-life in the comments, I’m gonna shut it down. That’s not what I want people to do here. I just want you guys to enjoy the escapist fiction and absurd reality, and…well, this was some freaking absurd reality. Ja né!
Okay, I’ve made it clear that I do not read Batman: The Dark Knight on a number of occasions. I find the stories to constantly be wrestling at the border of being boring or downright chaotic/nonsensical. As such, I did not read Batman: The Dark Knight #18. However, after reading about Batman: The Dark Knight #18, there was one moment in that book that I had to discuss…THIS.
…Okay, everybody with me now: Palm up front, aaaaannnd GO.
…So, I decided instead to do some in-depth analysis to demonstrate, for those who may not get it, why this is BAD.
- If there is a single person who cares even a little bit about the relationship between Bruce Wayne and Natalya Trusevich, I would love to hear your explanation as to why. I’m sure I mentioned this before, but when Ivy tried to create a hallucination for Batman in Detective Comics #14 and appeared as Natalya, I had a “Who the F is Surge?” moment when she showed up. I don’t find that they have any chemistry beyond what he usually has with his usual flings, and I don’t find her all that interesting, except for when she occasionally pwns Bruce for being…well, Bruce. But c’mon, that’s not that hard. Give me something more to work with. Good grief, I honestly find Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever to be a better match for him, and she regressed into a giggly schoolgirl trying (and failing) to be slutty whenever he put the Batsuit on!
- Oh God, the dialogue. It is literally him repeating “This is who I am” over and over and over again. Oh, they tried to change it up by having him stress one word, saying “This is who I am” when they got to the Batsuit, but that was it. Ooh, that’s TOTALLY different.
- The reason he does this is because Natalya decides she’s had enough of the usual Bruce Wayne antics and Bruce, in response to this, has a hallucination of his parents (yes, seriously) telling him when he was a kid to someday find the woman that will complete him. Okay, I am not against the idea of Bruce settling down and having a family, but if he thinks this woman is the one that completes him, he CLEARLY is even more out of his gourd than I thought.
- Clearly the New 52 version of Bruce Wayne has not revealed his secret identity to many women before (in particular Catwoman), because I’m honestly trying to remember a single time in the comics that he ever revealed his identity as Batman to a love interest that didn’t end BADLY. The closest I come to is Catwoman, since nobody died and, while he decided they couldn’t have a romantic relationship just yet, they did continue to work closely together and flirt back and forth. But Natalya? She is so kidnapped AT BEST.
- This one’s actually kinda dumb, and I could be way wrong, but I don’t think the primary Batsuit that Bruce uses is situated there. Not a big deal, just another level of stupid I couldn’t ignore.
- While I do admittedly find it kind of funny for Bruce to take a girl that was gonna dump him and go “You don’t want this? Bitch, I’m the Goddamn Batman!”, it is HORRIBLY out of character for him. And so is that smile on his face that just says “I am going to show you something SO cool!”.
- If you need any more reason to not like Natalya, it’s her reaction to all of this. She doesn’t even seem in shock so much as “I am witnessing…something…”. Now, granted, that’s the artist’s fault as much as anything, but still…
So yeah, there ya go, comic. You fail. In seven very distinct ways with just ONE page, YOU FAIL!
Anyway, leave your comments below, and feel free to check in this Wednesday with What I Bought Today, which will include Detective Comics #900. Ja né!
- SPOILERS: Batman – The Dark Knight #18 (gothamspoilers.com)