Batman: The Dark Knight Rises #18…….Wut?

Okay, I’ve made it clear that I do not read Batman: The Dark Knight on a number of occasions. I find the stories to constantly be wrestling at the border of being boring or downright chaotic/nonsensical. As such, I did not read Batman: The Dark Knight #18. However, after reading about Batman: The Dark Knight #18, there was one moment in that book that I had to discuss…THIS.

…Okay, everybody with me now: Palm up front, aaaaannnd GO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E

…So, I decided instead to do some in-depth analysis to demonstrate, for those who may not get it, why this is BAD.

1. If there is a single person who cares even a little bit about the relationship between Bruce Wayne and Natalya Trusevich, I would love to hear your explanation as to why. I’m sure I mentioned this before, but when Ivy tried to create a hallucination for Batman in Detective Comics #14 and appeared as Natalya, I had a “Who the F is Surge?” moment when she showed up. I don’t find that they have any chemistry beyond what he usually has with his usual flings, and I don’t find her all that interesting, except for when she occasionally pwns Bruce for being…well, Bruce. But c’mon, that’s not that hard. Give me something more to work with. Good grief, I honestly find Dr. Chase Meridian from Batman Forever to be a better match for him, and she regressed into a giggly schoolgirl trying (and failing) to be slutty whenever he put the Batsuit on!
2. Oh God, the dialogue. It is literally him repeating “This is who I am” over and over and over again. Oh, they tried to change it up by having him stress one word, saying “This is who I am” when they got to the Batsuit, but that was it. Ooh, that’s TOTALLY different.
3. The reason he does this is because Natalya decides she’s had enough of the usual Bruce Wayne antics and Bruce, in response to this, has a hallucination of his parents (yes, seriously) telling him when he was a kid to someday find the woman that will complete him. Okay, I am not against the idea of Bruce settling down and having a family, but if he thinks this woman is the one that completes him, he CLEARLY is even more out of his gourd than I thought.
4. Clearly the New 52 version of Bruce Wayne has not revealed his secret identity to many women before (in particular Catwoman), because I’m honestly trying to remember a single time in the comics that he ever revealed his identity as Batman to a love interest that didn’t end BADLY. The closest I come to is Catwoman, since nobody died and, while he decided they couldn’t have a romantic relationship just yet, they did continue to work closely together and flirt back and forth. But Natalya? She is so kidnapped AT BEST.
5. This one’s actually kinda dumb, and I could be way wrong, but I don’t think the primary Batsuit that Bruce uses is situated there. Not a big deal, just another level of stupid I couldn’t ignore.
6. While I do admittedly find it kind of funny for Bruce to take a girl that was gonna dump him and go “You don’t want this? Bitch, I’m the Goddamn Batman!”, it is HORRIBLY out of character for him. And so is that smile on his face that just says “I am going to show you something SO cool!”.
7. If you need any more reason to not like Natalya, it’s her reaction to all of this. She doesn’t even seem in shock so much as “I am witnessing…something…”. Now, granted, that’s the artist’s fault as much as anything, but still…

So yeah, there ya go, comic. You fail. In seven very distinct ways with just ONE page, YOU FAIL!

Anyway, leave your comments below, and feel free to check in this Wednesday with What I Bought Today, which will include Detective Comics #900. Ja né!

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• SPOILERS: Batman – The Dark Knight #18 (gothamspoilers.com)