Why Do Mothers Get A Raw Deal In Comics? + An Angry Rant I Wanted Desperately To Avoid This Month

Happy Mother’s Day, everybody! For the love of God, do not get your mothers comics for this day! lol No, really, on a suggestion from Emmybomber, I was gonna do an article talking about moms in comics, primarily because (and I know I said I wasn’t gonna talk about DC Comics this month, but I’m making a special exception here) pre-Flashpoint Lois and Clark had a baby in Convergence: Superman #2 this past Wednesday (Flashpoint Thomas Wayne helped with the delivery. It was weird, funny, and kinda heart-warming all at once). Thing is, that was originally meant to be a more positively-themed article…until I actually started to think about mothers in comic books.

Seriously, I’m not buying anything Convergence related, but if I were, it’d be the Superman books.

Why does every mom in comic books wind up getting a raw deal? I mean, really think about moms in comics. There’s Martha Wayne, who is dead, implied to be a villainess at one point, and was made the Joker in Flashpoint. Scarlet Witch lost both her kids, which caused her to inevitably go insane and eventually cause both Avengers Disassembled and M Day (neither of which we speak of), and while she did meet up with their reincarnated selves later, the damage was done, and frankly it’s kind of a confusing mess how that works anyway. Both of Superman’s moms, both biological and adoptive, are dead. Maria Stark died in a car crash. Earth 2 Catwoman is dead, and her pre-Flashpoint Earth 0 counterpart had a kid implied to be that universe’s version of Helena Wayne, only to have it proven otherwise and have Selina give her up. Talia was revealed to have drugged Batman and had sex with him under the influence to get pregnant with Damian, and then later went completely evil and had her own son killed. Past Stephanie Brown endured a teenage pregnancy, only to give her kid up for adoption immediately. Hippolyta in the New 52 was revealed to be a liar who conceived Diana in an ill-thought of affair with Zeus and was later turned to stone and smashed apart. Jean Grey…………..let’s not go there. XD

Even Lois Lane, who had her kid this past Wednesday, is subject to this. How? Because as far as I know, the other universes and continuities are getting pushed aside again in favour of the current ones. And speaking of, New 52 Earth 2 Lois Lane was killed and brought back as a fembot (which I honestly wouldn’t even mind if it was just a short term thing, but apparently, not so much), and lost her whole world to Darkseid. Meanwhile, mainstream Lois Lane in the comics right now? Apparently, we’re led to believe that, following figuring out that Clark and Superman were one and the same in the single most contrived fucking stupid way possible that I can’t believe Geoff Johns wrote it and MUST have had it mandated to him, knowingly and willfully told the world the truth, even with the very real possibility that it would ruin Clark’s life.

RED ALERT: ANGRY RANT

…And, y’know what, since I’m talking about this already, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t, I wanna clarify something: Yes, this is part of the reason I originally decided to go a month without talking about DC Comics. I was so royally pissed off at this little piece of information given in the Free Comic Book Day issue labelled ‘Divergence’ (which is also where we found out about mohawk Gordon in the robo Batsuit) that I just didn’t wanna talk about DC, because I KNEW, like a game of 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, I could somehow connect the dots back to this bullshit. In one week, Lois and Clark had a baby, and Roy Harper managed to bring Lian back from the dead (so at least Linkara can read his favourite run of the Titans again without getting a bitter taste in his mouth). But unless the pre-Flashpoint universe is getting its own world in the current DC Multiverse, guess how much that amounts to? The answer is zero, because we’ve seen solicits and previews for the post-Convergence mainstream universe, and it’s still the same dire and dreadful world as it ever was, maybe even more-so. And lemme reiterate that this information was released on FREE COMIC BOOK DAY, when the goal is to encourage new readers to get on board with your product, where parents typically bring their children to get them free stuff, and where my NIECE, my 8-year-old niece, was in attendance in a Superman cape and costume which he doesn’t even wear anymore! My one comfort is that she wasn’t there last year for the nightmare fuel that was Future’s End #0! Granted, of course, this is the same girl who finds 5 Nights At Freddy’s funny, whereas I find it pants-crappingly terrifying, so clearly she has more fortitude than I do, but that’s beside the point. So no, until I learn otherwise, I will not be getting the Convergence tie-ins, I will continue to spend the rest of the month from this point onward not talking about DC Comics, and if this pattern continues, DC has lost a customer. That’s how pissed off I’ve gotten about this whole thing.

Stand-down Red Alert: End of Angry Rant

*SIGH* …ANYway, there is one mom off the top of my head that, for the most part, has managed to stay alive (depending on what your definition of ‘alive’ is), keep her baby (despite some issues), and keep some semblance of happiness. The weird thing is, of all people, it’s Jubilation Lee. Seriously, Jubilee, who once was considered the annoying kid member of the X-Men, who lost her powers, and got sired as a vampire (and honestly, sometimes, I legit forget that that’s still a thing) is able to have an adoptive son that she loves and cares for. I urge Marvel Comics not to erase Shogo Lee following Secret Wars. Seriously, if we can just have one happy mom in comics, that’s a huge plus…………Oh, and I guess Kamala’s mom, although I dunno if I’d officially classify her as ‘happy’. lol

Apparently, in an alternate future, he grows up to be an Iron Man-esque superhero named Sentinel-X…I dunno if I love or hate that idea. lol

At any rate, that’s my two cents on moms in comics. Did I miss any happy moms still a part of comics to this day? Lemme know in the comments, because we could sure as hell use some more. Ja né, and Happy Mother’s Day!

Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Superhero Teams I’d Like To See In Marvel Post-Secret Wars

So, a while ago, I talked about characters I’d love to see make it into the new Marvel Universe when the dust settles and Secret Wars is over. As such, let’s talk a bit about some superhero teams I’d love to see either be a thing or continue to be a thing post-Secret Wars. Now, technically, we already know of one team that’ll exist, as we’ve learned that Captain America, Ms. Marvel, Vision, Ultimate Spider-Man, Iron Man, Nova, and Thor will be teaming up as the All-New, All-Different Avengers. But will that be the ONLY Avengers team? I highly doubt it, honestly. And frankly, there’s at least ONE other Avengers team that exists in the new universe. So, might as well start there. These are the five superhero teams I’d like to see in Marvel Comics post-Secret Wars, starting with the aforementioned Avengers team I’d like to see post-Secret Wars…

Potential Members: Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, Spider-Woman, Black Widow, Storm, Medusa, Angela, Wasp, Sif

As I’ve said before, a team of Marvel’s greatest superheroines? YES PLEASE! 😀 That said, while I get the feeling the version in Secret Wars will pretty much be damned near EVERY Marvel superheroine, I’m thinking the post-Secret Wars team should be a bit more streamlined. Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, or Storm would all be good choices to potentially lead the team, while the rest of the team should really be varied in terms of powers and walks of life. Of course, Black Widow works great as the least super-powered of the group, Angela or Sif would be good choices for representatives from Asgard, and there should at least be one Mutant and one Inhuman. And of course, there’s always room for long-time Marvel heroines like Wasp or Spider-Woman.

Potential Members: Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Rogue, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man, Sabretooth, Quicksilver, Wolverine

Honestly, I see no reason to put the kibosh on this team. In fact, it might even be to the benefit of those that want to see Steve Rogers and Thor Odinson continue as key players of the Marvel Universe if they rejoined the team. Rogue, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man, and Quicksilver all work as members too. As for Sabretooth, I can see him sticking around, though it may make things awkward if Wolverine DOES, in fact, return from the grave and rejoin his old team, considering their long and bloody history. And speaking of which…

Potential Members: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Havok, Beast, Emma Frost, Angel, Dazzler, X-23, Iceman

Would not shock me if, after Secret Wars, the All-New X-Men are more or less done away with, but that their future selves are influenced by their actions and thus end up in Cyclops’ camp. Would certainly make for an interesting scenario if Jean Grey, back in her adult form, was brought back, and now is on the same team as Cyclops and Emma Frost. Still, hopefully with the reboot, we can start to see Cyclops distance himself from his douchey and at times blatantly evil behaviour and try to make something better of himself. As for the other X-Men, well…

Potential Members: Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler, Rachel Grey, Jubilee, Psylocke, Colossus, Pixie, Rogue

As I said before, I’m pretty sure the return of Wolverine is all but inevitable. As such, seeing him return to the X-Men would be a huge plus. And while I showed the logo for Astonishing X-Men, really, it doesn’t HAVE to be. It could be Amazing X-Men and be just fine. And, of course, all the big names in that particular camp of X-Men would be among its roster, though I wouldn’t be shocked to see some of the other students at the mansion and other X-Men join in from time to time. Now, while I would like to see Adjectiveless X-Men continue, there is one OTHER superheroine team I’d like to see get picked back up for the new Marvel Universe…

Potential Members: Valkyrie/Annabelle Riggs, Misty Knight, Dani Moonstar, Warrior Woman, Clea, Elsa Bloodstone, Ren Kimura, Nova (Frankie Raye)

I’m sorry, but I gotta know what the hell next happened with these characters! I haven’t seen them since the book ended, except for Valkyrie, and her appearances (that I’m aware of) didn’t allude to Annabelle or the team at all! Did they stick together? Did they split up? Are they still fighting Caroline and Morgana le Fey? Did Valkyrie, Annabelle, and Red get into some kinda twisted love triangle? Did they eventually end up fighting Galactus like Cullen Bunn wanted? WHAT’S HAPPENING?! lol

Anyway, those are five teams I’d love to see make it into the new universe. Got one that wasn’t here? Lemme know in the comments, and we’ll see what becomes of the Marvel Universe in September. Ja né!

What I Bought This Past Week – The Marvel and Dynamite Books (Fearless Defenders #11, X-Men #7, Legends of Red Sonja #1, Red Sonja #5) (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Time for the other half of…

Hey Woolie, “When’s Mahvel”? Right now! XD We got two Marvel comics, two Dynamite comics, a double helping of Gail Simone, two superheroine team books, and just about every well-known woman writer and artist in the biz these days (that was available) teaming up to do a single book, so let’s get started! It’s Ladies Night, starting with Fearless Defenders #11!

Dammit, why is this book getting cancelled next month?! WHY?! We just started a subplot involving Annabelle and Ren, and knowing my luck, it could be months before we ever see either of them again! Seriously, we need to get as many people as we can to buy the trade when it comes out, maybe that’ll convince Marvel to bring this book back. In the meantime, though, it looks like the last two issues revolve around the Amazons and Warrior Woman’s attempts to try to steer them into being a more peaceful race than the army of bloodthirsty warriors they’ve been. Only problem is that the literal mother of all monsters has decided to give them a better deal than Hippolyta is. Oh, and also, Annabelle and Ren had sex…I don’t know how they managed it, given Ren’s little situation with her hands, but they did it. Good issue, just sad that there’s only one more to go.

X-Men #7 was a little odd at first, since I had to get adjusted to some of the changes that occurred during Battle of the Atom. Long story short, Jubilee met a future version of Shogo (the kid she’s looking after), and Kitty and the past versions of the X-Men from All-New X-Men decided to join present day Cyclops because…I guess they like working with obvious terrorists? No, I’m sorry, I’m not over this: Scott Summers is a villain now. I keep hearing people defending, and I don’t know how they cannot argue this point. He got sent to prison for a pretty damned good reason, got busted out, and is now working underground with Magneto and Emma Frost, not to mention the fact that he’s always been kind of an asshole, a point he even kinda admitted to at the end of Avengers vs X-Men when he said that Charles Xavier was responsible for the best in him. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Professor X? Oh yeah, he got MURDERED BY SCOTT SUMMERS! You can’t even say it wasn’t his fault since the Phoenix to possessed him and his group, when he was allowing the Phoenix to come back in the first place! Scott Summers = EVIL!

…What was I talking about? Oh yeah, X-Men #7. So yeah, Jubilee’s gone, and I’m assuming Rogue has stuff she needs to do with the Uncanny Avengers, since she’s not around either. Instead, we have Karima Shapander, the former Omega Sentinel now back to normal and trying to get her life back on track, and Monet Yvette Clarisse Maria Therese St. Croix…Or just Monet, that works too. o.O Long story short, Ana Cortes, the heir to a billion-dollar company with diversifications in shipping, oil, real estate, and weapons, has uploaded Lady Deathstrike‘s consciousness into her body, becoming a combination of the two. At first, she wants to get ahold of the Omega Sentinel. When a confrontation with Money and Karima ends bad for her, she then learns about something far more powerful that she plans to obtain: Arkea. On a side-note, it seems Jubilee is actually going to be able to legally adopt Shogo without any problems, and we finally get an explanation for the little scuffle between Bling and Mercury in X-Men #1: Bling asked Mercury out, and Mercury freaked out and punched her…Okay, I’ll admit, I’m not very knowledgeable on either character, but I was under the impression that Mercury was supposed to be a bit likeable than that. However, Bling tells Jubilee that it’s alright, because she doesn’t like Mercury like that anymore, and that she likes someone else now…while looking right into Jubilee’s eyes…Um, I feel the need to again point out that I’m not very knowledgeable about Bling, but considering that she’s attending the school while Jubilee USED to be a student and is now simply staying there…Okay, I’ll just ask. How sizeable is the age difference between the two? Because if it’s just a few years, that’s fine, but if it’s more than that, this could get into kinda icky territory. So yeah, somebody in the comments section, let me know what the approximate age difference is so I can move on from that. Overall, though, a good jumping-back-on issue.

Legends of Red Sonja #1, the name pretty much says it all. It’s about a bunch of people telling their own stories of the exploits of Red Sonja. However, to me, the true appeal of the Legends of Red Sonja series is the fact that Gail Simone has gathered an all-star team of female writers, authors, artists, and more to put this book together. Names like Carla Speed McNeil (Finder, Queen & Country), Marjorie Liu (Astonishing X-Men, Tiger Eye, X-23), Nancy A. Collins (Swamp Thing, Jason Vs. Leatherface, the Final Destination tie-ins), Kelly Sue DeConnick (Captain Marvel, 30 Days of Night, Blue Dragon, Fruits Basket), Molly Mahan (Vampirella, The Mocking Dead, Codename: Action), Devin Grayson (Batman, Catwoman, Black Widow, and even Linkara’s favourite comic book series of all time, The Titans), and many more. Women who love comics, feminists who love comes, you owe it to yourselves to, at the very least, give this book a look.

Speaking of Red Sonja, Red Sonja #5 gives us even more bloody barbarian brilliance. We get some more awesome dialogue between her and her bodyguards, where we see she has actually become MORE pissed off by Annisia shutting down one of her favourite taverns. By the end, the late King’s son uses leeches to cure Sonja of the plague, and she takes on Annisia in the arena where they battled together for their lives as slaves. However, this seems to have worked out in someone else’s favour, as they are cornered by the forces of the man who made them slaves, King Bazrat. And just that name, Bazrat, makes him insanely evil to me. lol But yeah, the conclusion comes next month, and I can’t wait to see how Gail Simone wraps up her first arc with Red Sonja.

Anyway, that’s it for everything I bought for this past week. Check in next week as we see what our favourite Talon, Calvin Rose, is up to. Ja né!

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• Simone Leads All-Star, All-Female Writers on “Legends Of Red Sonja” (comicbookresources.com)
• Five Reasons to Read … Red Sonja (girls-gone-geek.com)
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What I Bought Yesterday – Supergirl #23, X-Men #4, Batman and Robin #23 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

…

Yeah, I know! I finally remembered to do it on time yesterday, and then I forgot to cover three of the four books I got because I got caught up in other stuff. At this point, I don’t even know why I bother calling my comic recaps What I Bought Today…well, other than because Morgan was awesome enough to make the logos for me, and it’d be a huge waste to not use them. Y’know, I just thought of the What I Bought Today Drinking Game: Every time I fail to release it on the day I bought whatever I’m talking about, take a shot. But before you do that, let’s talk Supergirl #23.

So because I just know people probably are already aware of how this issue ends, I’m gonna get right to it: No, Supergirl isn’t really dead. Well, in the sense that even if she IS dead, chances are she’s got a Get Out Of Death Free Card of some sort coming to her next issue. So why do I know that people are likely talking about this? Well, because this issue shows a female character getting axed off, and ever since DC decided to shove Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend in a fridge a long while back, every time a woman is shown to be killed or even possibly killed, DC’s female fanbase (and yes DC, whether you want to believe it or not, you do have a LARGE female fanbase) sets pitchforks on fire and hunt for the head of DC’s head. Now, don’t misunderstand, a lot of times they’re completely right to do so. All I’m saying is that if anyone thinks what happens in this book is gonna be long-lasting, please think again. She’ll be brought back to life, and that’ll lead to a three-way fight of sorts between Supergirl, Cyborg Superman, and Cyborg Superman’s creator, who is confirmed to be Brainiac when he arrives at the end of this issue because Cyborg Superman apparently screwed him over somehow. Other than that, the book is alright, except that Supergirl gets INSANELY angry at the recreations of the people in her memories, but that could just be because of the fact that she was kinda dying at the time.

X-Men #4 was…eh, alright. They got a new artist for this done-in-one story where the X-Men take the Blackbird to save a jet full of people, and the art isn’t that great. Plus, a lot more of the focus is on Rachel Grey and Storm having personal issues, while Jubilee takes Shogo to hang out with Wolverine in Jubilee’s old neighbourhood. But hey, there’re some genuinely awesome and funny moments out of Psylocke, Rogue, and Kitty as they try to save the plane, and the stuff with Jubilee and Wolverine is heartwarming enough. Plus, this is really just an interlude before Battle of the Atom begins, so it’s not like I expect this to be the quality they’ve been at or will stick with.

Batman and Robin #23, AKA Batman and Nightwing, AKA Acceptance. If you didn’t have tissues when you read this issue, you were frakked. Basic premise: Bruce has been running a simulation nonstop for four days of the night where Damian died, trying again and again to save him, because he can’t accept that there was nothing he could do to save him. Alfred brings Nightwing to help, and I can’t help but notice he’s in the costume he wore before moving to Chicago. However, Dick instead joins Batman in the simulation, and between the two of them, they actually do manage to save Damian, and Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are able to take down The Heretic, ending the simulation. Later on, we see Alfred do his own simulation where he manages to stop Robin from leaving the cave, which Bruce catches. Bruce realizes that he’s been alienating the people around him by making the grief all about him and failing to see that he wasn’t the only one to lose someone, and he and Alfred decide to turn off the simulation, finally beginning to move on. Overall, great way to end this particular arc, and a fond farewell to Damian as we see him be badass alongside his father and partner one more time.

So, that’s all for this week. Next week, hopefully on time, we take a look at how Talon’s dealing with the forces of Bane, and we check in on Batman Incorporated, quite possibly for the last time. Ja né!

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What I Bought Today – X-Men #2, Talon #9 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Oh my goodness, my feet are killing me! XP So, while I relax and imagine my sore feet being lovingly massaged by my gf, allow me to take a sec and talk about…

Only two books today, since I’ve dropped JLA and Batman Incorporated got delayed by one week, so let’s start with Talon #9.

So yeah, the Birds of Prey cameo in this book…for all of the first four pages. lol Yeah, sorry to say this, but clearly this move was done solely to boost sales for Birds of Prey, and I will be shocked if it helps even a little. If anything, this probably got the people who hadn’t heard of Talon to go read it instead. But anyway, after tricking his superiors into thinking he killed Strix, Calvin Rose is sent after Bane and Sebastian Clark. Meanwhile, Casey continues to be awesome by not only talking smack to the Gotham Butcher, even while chained and helpless, but shows she doesn’t care what’s happened to Calvin as long as he’s alive, and then tops it off by managing to free herself and send a message to her allies to come rescue her. Seriously, Casey Washington deserves to be the new Oracle-type character in the DC Universe when the Court of Owls is finally taken down.

X-Men #2 was frigging awesome. I still have no idea who the people in the school are beyond the main six characters and Beast though…I really should check the Marvel Comics Database at http://marvel.wikia.com/Main_Page for all of my essential needs and information. (Cheap plug successfully deployed, ^_^ ) Anyway, Sublime’s even eviller sister, Arkea, has taken control of Karima Shapandar, AKA the Omega Sentinel, and is creating all kinds of chaos throughout the Jean Grey School For Higher Learning. Only Rogue and Kitty Pryde are able to get down there to deal with Arkea, Kitty threatening to phase through her body to completely destroy her should it turn out there is nothing left of Karima in her. Arkea manages to escape, all the while it seems that neither Psylocke nor Rachel Grey can sense an infant with Jubilee. Kinda weird, but Sublime explains later that when he and his sister leave bodies they’ve taken over, they leave a whole new person behind, basically resetting them completely, so I’m gonna guess that’s what happened. The baby, named Shogo, is apparently okay though, since he’s just a newborn and won’t exactly need much time to develop a new personality. Jubilee talks Storm into letting her bring Shogo with them to find Arkea, reasoning that it’s safer with Storm and the others than back at the school…which actually turns out to be true, as we see in the end that Arkea left a little surprise at the X-Mansion: A frickin’ BOMB. O_O

So that’s it for this week. Next week…Well, suffice to say, next week is gonna be an expensive one…Ja né…T_T

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What I Bought Today – X-Men #1 (WARNING – SPOILERS AND MASSIVE BACK-STORY, LOL)

Say what? It’s Friday? Say what?! I bought a Marvel book?! Well, let’s just go ahead and see exactly…

Before anyone asks why I decided so quickly after my last post to go ahead and buy a Marvel book, I just wanna give the quick answer right now: When someone is willing to go to the trouble of writing a 13 paragraph essay on why I should at least be willing to give Marvel a chance, I really don’t have any other choice but to do just that, so thank you John W. Bruce for making this decision all the easier on me. Speaking of which, note to self: Apparently asking in the title of a blog entry helps to get feedback. lol With that said, let’s take a look at X-Men #1.

Okay, I gotta go over a couple of things for readers of my blog whom I know for a fact may not be all that familiar with recent happenings in the Marvel Universe, particularly involving the X-Men. So, if I may borrow one of Linkara‘s quotes, it’s now…

Back in 2005, an event comic called House of M has Scarlet Witch losing control of her magic, resulting in her de-powering most of the mutant population. The known number of mutants goes from millions to a couple hundred in an instant. Naturally, not everybody exactly handled this all that well. However, last year, Marvel put on an event known as Avengers vs. X-Men. In it, the Phoenix returned, Hope Summers was to be the one it would possess, and Cyclops decided that was a good thing, because the Phoenix’s powers of rebirth might bring back the mutants, even though anyone written with half a brain told him how idiotic a decision due to the number of people the Phoenix has killed whenever it showed up before. This led to the Avengers trying to stop this outcome, which resulted in the I-don’t-even-feel-like-keeping-track’th time Marvel set heroes against each other for the mass crossover event, as the X-Men who were loyal to Cyclops fought against the Avengers, who were merely trying to place Hope in protective custody. I should note for the record that, by the end of this book, Cyclops is very clearly a villain, becoming the Dark Phoenix himself by choice and killing a number of people, including Professor X. The ultimate outcome of Avengers vs. X-Men was that Hope Summers and the Scarlet Witch were able to wish away the Phoenix, Cyclops was arrested but later escaped prison and became a terrorist, the mutant population went back up to how it was previously due to the spell Scarlet Witch previously cast being broken, and Captain America has reformed the Avengers to include a number of X-Men as a gesture to help with mutant rights, because for some reason, the civilians in Marvel are still ignorant and racist dumbasses. This has also led to the start of Marvel NOW, which was originally believed to be a reboot to compete with DC’s New 52, but has actually proven to be more or less just a whole new series of #1 issues, basically re-establishing the events of the modern universe for newcomers while also progressing everyone’s stories.

This is TOO adorable! XD

So, with that said, let’s look at the cast. You got Storm, who in my opinion has ALWAYS been one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel Universe with her ability to manipulate the weather however she sees fit. Then there’s Rachel Summers, AKA Marvel Girl, who is the daughter of Cyclops and Jean Grey, and thus has the same insane levels of telekinetic and telepathic powers her mother did, and then some. Next is Rogue, who can steal powers just by touching someone’s bare skin, and is actually a member of the Uncanny Avengers nowadays, so I guess she’s pulling double duty here. Fourth member of the team is Kitty Pryde, AKA Shadowcat, who is literally untouchable with her ability to phase through solid objects. Next is Psylocke, who is also a telepath/telekinetic, but her preferred ability in combat is to form psychic weapons. And finally, well, now I’m a little confused.

The final member of the group is Jubilee, who WAS a mutant with the ability to shoot…erm, fireworks out of her hands. However, she was among those mutants who were de-powered, and some time afterwards, she was made into a vampire…Yeah, I had no idea that was a thing. I found out last night, and I was like “WHA?!” To keep from losing control of herself, she drinks bottles of Wolverine’s blood (since he has an unlimited amount to spare), which has the added bonus of giving her limited amounts of Logan’s healing powers. All this actually sounds kinda cool…except that they have established she can only handle so much sunlight before it becomes toxic to her, and yet we see her on several occasions in direct sunlight in this comic. Also, there was an image posted a while back of her using her old mutant powers. This has led to a theory that she either was cured of her vampirism, has regained her old powers, and/or has gained increased invulnerability to the sun, possibly all three due to the outcome of Avengers vs. X-Men.

So yeah, that’s the main six protagonists for this book, which brings up a point that everybody online has brought up: This is an X-Men comic with an all-female leading cast. And I gotta say, I love what the book’s writer, Brian Wood, had to say about that…

And I quote…

“I feel like as far as the X-Men go, the women are the X-Men. Cyclops and Wolverine are big names, but taken as a whole, the women kind of rule the franchise. If you look at the entire world as a whole, it’s the females that really dominate and are the most interesting and cool to look at. When you have a great artist drawing them, they look so amazing and always have.” I cannot argue those points, people. But what’s really great about this comic is that it stars a team of women, but it never feels like it’s beating that fact into you. It feels more natural that way.

Anyway, let’s actually get into the story here. It seems that when Sublime, the evil sentient bacteria who is trying to keep mutants from becoming the dominant species (he was created by Grant Morrison, don’t ask questions, lol), arrived on Earth billions of years ago, he had a twin sister named Arkea. The two had a fight over who got to come to Earth, which Sublime won, forcing Arkea to evolve elsewhere while harbouring a deep-rooted need for revenge. Cut to present day, where Jubilee is headed for the Jean Grey School For Higher Learning, along with a baby. No, we’re not in Renesmee territory here, the baby is from a town that got destroyed, supposedly in a terrorist bombing, but some people claimed to have seen a meteorite. She finds she’s being stalked by Sublime and calls the school, which by the way is jam packed with a ton of students, and I pretty much have no idea who the hell ANY of them are. Regardless, Storm, Kitty, and Rogue head out and meet Jubilee on her train, which later has an apparent electrical malfunction that kills the drivers and Rogue has to save everyone on the train.

Meanwhile, Sublime has arrived at the school ahead of Jubilee, and immediately surrenders. He’s not there to start a fight, he’s there for protection. It seems there really WAS a meteorite, and that Arkea was piggybacking on it to get to Earth. So why was he stalking Jubilee earlier? Because apparently, the baby has something of an infection, if you get my drift. Also, Arkea was the one responsible for the train accident, as she can possess machines as Sublime can with people. And it gets better, since Jubilee and the others arrive just as Sublime is explaining the details about his sister, Arkea deciding to send herself in a text message to Hank down in the lab and possess Karima, the Omega Sentinel…Definite pants-to-be-darkened ending.

So, how do I rank this comic? It’s awesome, no doubt. Would I call it the best comic I’ve read this month? No, but it’s pretty high up there. Then again, this is the month where DC gave us this…

And this…

And THIS…

“Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down”

…So yeah, that might be influencing me a bit, but honestly, I think I would really like this book regardless, so I will be buying the next issue at the end of June…which means now I gotta re-evaluate my planned pull list for the coming months…dammit. Oh well, at least now I know I CAN enjoy a Marvel comic a lot, and I hope anyone who’s interested will do so too. Ja né!

Related articles

• Meet the new ‘X-Men’ (cnn.com)
• First Look: Brian Wood’s All Female X-MEN #1 (comicvine.com)