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DC Rebirth Reveal – Some Art And Quick Reactions

…SO, today was kinda nuts. Before I go in-depth on all of the big announcements, since I fully expect more news to come out soon enough, let’s instead take a look at some of the art revealed for the new books and a few quick notes I took for the different titles.

80 PAGES FOR $2.99! HOLY CRAP! XD

80 PAGES FOR $2.99?! That’s some insane dedication to the price drop!

...So wait, several of my favourite Bat Family characters, all part of a team book, and debuting in the same month as my birthday? I feel like this book is especially for me. :D

…So wait, several of my favourite Bat Family characters, all part of a team book, and debuting in the same month as my birthday? I feel like this book is especially for me. 😀 Kinda confused by Clayface’s presence, but whatever.

Supergirl going back to a more classic costume makes sense, especially since we have her show going right now. The only thing that's kinda weird is that we're keeping the story arc where her father is the new Cyborg Superman. It's just...odd.

Supergirl going back to a more classic costume makes sense, especially since we have her show going right now. The only thing that’s kinda weird is that we’re keeping the story arc where her father is the new Cyborg Superman. It’s just…odd.

He’s back in blue! THANK GOD! Also, the reaction to the first story arc’s title, “Better Than Batman” got just the exact reaction I was expecting. XD

Greg Rucka is coming back to Wonder Woman. This is going to be INSANE, and I REALLY can’t wait for Wonder Woman Year One, with art by Nicola Scott. Also, thank God, Wonder Woman’s back in gold. I don’t even care that it’s blatantly copied from the movies, it looks good on her. 🙂

Lex Luthor as the new Superman of Metropolis. That’s literally all you need to know to realize that’s gonna end badly. Throw in Doomsday, and I’ll be surprised if there’s anything LEFT of Metropolis by the time we hit Action Comics #1000.

Interested to see where this new story takes Batgirl, but I hope it eventually returns her to Burnside. Would hate to see everything that's been going on with her dropped so unceremoniously.

Interested to see where this new story takes Batgirl, but I hope it eventually returns her to Burnside. Would hate to see everything that’s been going on with her dropped so unceremoniously.

So Hal's going back to the Corps, while Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz are having to take over on Earth. Interesting set up, and REALLY glad to see Cruz graduating to Green Lantern. :)

So Hal’s going back to the Corps, while Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz are having to take over on Earth. Interesting set up, and REALLY glad to see Cruz graduating to Green Lantern. 🙂

DC has a REALLY warped sense of humour, revealing this in the same week that Batman and Superman threw down. lol

DC has a REALLY warped sense of humour, revealing that the sons of Batman and Superman will be teaming up in the same week that Batman and Superman threw down. lol

Bryan Hitch, Tony Daniel, and Fernando Pasarin have got some BIG shoes to fill with Justice League, but I like the team. Also, it seems details on JLA are being kept a secret for now.

Relax, people. It's not THAT All-Star Batman. lol

Relax, people. It’s not THAT All-Star Batman. lol Also, I guess now we know what Snyder’s been up to. That said, gotta admit, I’m a little disappointed to see Ivy relegated back to being simply another rogue for Batman after all the work that’s been done with her as her own character.

Y’know, everybody else is talking about how Damian is on the Titans and how Wally West is still black, and all I can think of is “Thank God, Starfire’s on the Titans and NOT the Outlaws”. 😛

A mostly all-new Outlaws team with characters I don't care much about. So, in other words, Lobdell is being kept away from anything I care about. Good to know. ^_^

A mostly all-new Outlaws team with characters I don’t care much about. So, in other words, Lobdell is being kept away from anything I love. Good to know. ^_^

Whoa, whoa, whoa, lemme see if I understand this correctly: A Titans book where there's only ONE person in red??? :P

Whoa, whoa, whoa, lemme see if I understand this correctly: A Titans book where there’s only ONE person in red??? 😛 Also, who is that in green? Can’t be a Lantern, can it?

They really might as well have just said "We're going with the same team as from the movie". I mean, honestly, I don't even really care that they're cross-promoting, so why not just admit it?

They really might as well have just said “We’re going with the same team as from the movie”. I mean, honestly, I don’t even really care that they’re cross-promoting, so why not just admit it?

Oh goodie, David Finch is on Batman. -_-

Oh goodie, David Finch is on Batman. -_- Tom King should prove to be a good choice, though, and I’m interested to see where this goes in the aftermath of Superheavy, especially as it pertains to Duke Thomas.

Interesting set-up with Flash having to mentor not one but SEVERAL new speedsters. Also, I don't care that Wally is still black. I just hope he's FUN again. That's all I've EVER wanted.

Interesting set-up with Flash having to mentor not one but SEVERAL new speedsters. Also, I don’t care that Wally is still black. I just hope he’s FUN again. That’s all I’ve EVER wanted.

I've never been so excited and so confused for a book. So someone is posing as Oracle? Does that mean Oracle is canon again? Also, that's clearly New 52 Helena as Huntress. So does that mean she really WAS Huntress before having to fake her death?

I’ve never been so excited and so confused for a book. So someone is posing as Oracle? Does that mean Oracle is canon again? Also, that’s clearly New 52 Helena as Huntress. So does that mean she really WAS Huntress before having to fake her death?

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ll go more in depth soon enough, though. Lemme know your own thoughts below, and we’ll see how things pan out from now to May 25th, 2016. Ja né!

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Early Predictions/Desires For #DCRebirth – The Justice League And Related Characters

So, I’ve talked about some things I’d like to see from DC Rebirth back before we knew really ANYTHING about it, and I gave general thoughts on the books announced to be part of DC’s new line-up during Rebirth and beyond. Now, it’s time to look at the individual books announced and/or characters involved and talk about what I either expect to see happen as part of this movement to bring back the elements of the books and their characters we and the creators love. Keep in mind, I might’ve discussed some of this already in the aforementioned articles, so I may be repeating a few points. Still, let’s start off with…well, a book I’m a little disappointed to hear something about…And by a little disappointed, I mean my first words upon hearing about it were, and I quote, “SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKINGSHITMASSAGINGCOCKGRINDINGMONKEYFACEDCLOWNFART!!!“…I might’ve overreacted slightly. lol

The Justice League

Justice League

Then again, though, when you consider the quality of Geoff Johns and Jason Fabok’s work as of late with Justice League, can you really blame me for that reaction? Well, regardless, with Justice League and Justice League America, what I would recommend doing is having both books be about different groupings of the same team. Like, one book could focus on the original big seven of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter (who I am hoping to God is returning to the League now that his book is ending), and the other can focus on some of the newer members, like Shazam, Cyborg, Jessica Cruz, Mister Miracle, and Big Barda. I’ve actually heard for a while now that there might’ve been a planned crossover between Justice League and JLA, but unless they had this planned with whoever was taking over for Johns, I don’t see that happening right away. And frankly, I’m a little sick of books doing crossovers before they hit 12 issues anyway, so holding off on that might be in order.

Batman

Batman

Assuming he retains the memory of it from the events of The Darkseid War, something tells me that a future arc of the new Batman title might revolve around him looking for the Joker now that he knows his identity. I just can’t imagine him gaining ahold of that information and not wanting to use it to maybe put an end to the Joker’s threat before anyone else gets hurt. Still, I’m a bit…leery of that idea. See, for me, the Joker works best when you DON’T know all the details of who he really is and what his past was like, and I can’t imagine DC actually going through with that. As Joker himself once put it, “If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice”. Then again, they’re apparently telling his back-story in the TV show Gotham, which I dislike for various reasons on top of that, so who knows? Like I’ve said before, though, I hope that they decide to make Joker a little more fun in the future. He’s more than capable of being a terrifying villain AND the occasional goofy clown. Other than that, since I don’t see any books involving Robin in the line-up thus far, one has to wonder what’s to become of Damian and the members of We Are Robin, in particular Duke Thomas. Will Damian become Bruce’s full-time partner again in one of the Batman books, or will he step aside and become his own individual while Duke takes his place? Or perhaps Duke will instead take on the identity of Lark, like in one of Bruce’s nightmare scenarios brought on by the Scarecrow’s fear toxin? And what of Jim Gordon? Will he continue to take up the mantle of the All-New Batman? Only time will tell for sure, but we’ll talk more about Batman’s supporting cast and related characters later.

Superman

Superman

So, after the newest issue of Action Comics, it looks as though Superman is no longer dying. I could be wrong, but that appears to be the case. He’s also been fully revitalized. So, doesn’t look like the Super League is being built as a possible replacement for the Man of Steel. However, I would be willing to suggest that he’s instead putting it together due to the events where his powers were drained, his identity was leaked, and so on, and that there’d need to be someone who could stand in for him if something like that should ever happen again. Speaking of, though, I’ve got this sneaky suspicion that the public may not remember that Clark Kent and Superman are one in the same post-Rebirth. Why? Well, like I mentioned before, the Spyral satellite has the ability to remove the public’s knowledge of Dick Grayson being Nightwing, which is likely how he’ll return to the role as I’ll get into when I talk about him. If I were one of the heads at DC and decided that Clark’s secret identity being exposed was not a good idea for the long-term, that seems like it’d be a good way out of it. With that said, though, if I may make a request, if that happens and they do that…?

Lois Lane

Lois Lane

Keep Lois’ memories of the ordeal intact. This isn’t even me wanting to see Lois and Clark as a couple again (although I do, a LOT), but simply because ever since she found out Clark Kent is Superman, she’s been even more actively involved in stories, for better or worse. Married or unmarried, couple or friends, ultimately, I think history has proven that there are more stories that can be told with her in the know about Clark being Superman than with her being kept out of the loop. But, with that said…yeah, I really do wanna see them together again, especially since the book about the pre-Flashpoint Lois and Clark is ending. In fact, who knows? Maybe they’ll do some kinda merger thing where the Superman and Lois Lane of both worlds blend into one, and both become a balance of their counterparts? Not sure where that leaves little Jonathan, but it could happen. But, for that to happen, obviously, something’s gotta go…

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s time to call it quits on the Superman and Wonder Woman relationship. Above all else, the reason I’m just plain sick of it is because the two are rarely, if ever, treated like equals when it comes to their relationship. Wonder Woman is pretty much just Superman’s girlfriend in a lot of stories they’re presented in as a couple. Beyond that, my standard requests are as follows: Restore the Amazons to the compassionate protectors of mankind, and for the love of God, pants or no pants, I don’t care anymore, just give us a brighter colour scheme for Diana. In fact, I’d actually be fine with the design Jason Fabok uses for her in Justice League, but with gold instead of silver. Also, I keep hearing that the movie will be rebooting to the old school Etta Candy, and if I can make a suggestion? Do the same in the comics. You don’t necessarily have to undo making her black. Hell, you don’t even need to make her as overweight as the original. Just something similar, and above all else, make Etta the ninja tackling badass sidekick I remember.

Aquaman

Aquaman

…Okay, not really much to say about Aquaman, other than it’s great to see him back to his old look and kicking ass like normal. I will say, though, that the writers really need to make up their minds as to whether he’s gonna be King of Atlantis or not for the foreseeable future, though. No, my biggest concern for the Aquaman books is something…different.

Mera

Mera

…OH, GOOD GOD, WHY?! I got into a little bit of a rant about this on Twitter when I saw this, as you can read here. Suffice to say, no. Absolutely not. Whatever the writers of Aquaman are thinking, NO! BAD writers! Don’t make her Aquawoman. You make her Aquawoman, and I will violently murder the first fish I see. Oh, and just saying this? If they DO make Arthur King of Atlantis again, can we PLEASE have these two be officially married again? Or maybe they already have been when I wasn’t looking, I don’t know, but if they aren’t, please don’t listen to Dan, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about when it comes to superheroes being married, especially with these two. It makes no sense for them to not be married when all evidence points to her having served in the capacity of Queen of Atlantis at Arthur’s side at least at one point. Also, I’m sorry, but one of these days, we gotta make Mera an official member of the Justice League. How many times does she have to accompany them and their various divisions into action and show just how easily she stands among them before she’s given a seat?

The Flash

The Flash

Again, not a lot to say about The Fastest Man Alive, other than that I hope that this whole mess involving him being Central City’s most wanted and being hunted by the Rogues doesn’t last long. I AM interested to see what role he plays with Rebirth, however. As Geoff Johns himself has pointed out, nearly every time there’s been a massive change to the universe, a Flash (usually Barry) was at the center of it. Speaking of, I wonder if we’ll ever get follow-up on exactly why Pandora used Barry to reboot the universe at the end of Flashpoint. The whole thing about Pandora’s Box being the reason seems kinda minor when you consider what that turned out to be. I mean, she really needed to reboot the universe just so we can get a Boom Tube that led to Earth 3? But yeah, once again, my bigger concern is with a certain other Flash…

Wally West

Wally West

Seriously, I don’t care if he’s black, white, yellow, red, purple, green, or fuchsia, we need the FUN Wally West back. The Wally West who is cracking jokes and being the far more fun-loving Flash. And I don’t care if he’s The Flash, Kid Flash, Impulse, whatever, it’s time to pull the trigger on him suiting up and working with Barry. With that said, a lot of people were against the new costume we saw him in during the whole Future’s End tie-in, but honestly, I thought he looked good. The silver DOES stand out in a very dramatic way and makes him look very distinct from the other Flashes.

Green Lantern

Green Lantern

Again, I’d kinda like to see Hal Jordan and John Stewart, and maybe even the other Earth-born Lanterns rotate on the Justice League and JLA. Beyond that, though, I get the feeling that Jessica Cruz will be switching out the Ring of Volthoom from Earth 3 for a Green Lantern Ring. There WAS a silhouette of a female Green Lantern in the image for Rebirth, and Jessica seems like the logical candidate. And frankly, I would just be happy to see her conquer her fear and give Volthoom the boot. Still, kinda hope her Green Lantern costume, if I’m correct, incorporates some elements of her Power Ring costume. Oh, and can we PLEASE have a sense of stability in the Green Lantern Corps for at least a year? I don’t think I even need to point this out, but life has been hell for the Corps as of the past few years. The Guardians finally came out as evil, there’s been a shit-ton of members dying left and right, they got better Guardians who still managed to screw the pooch in the end, and now most of them have been banished to another dimension or some shit. But as for Hal himself…he’s gotta lose the jacket. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t work for him. To be honest, when he and Parallax had their fight recently, Hal looked more like a villain than Parallax did…y’know, until Parallax pulled the whole fangs thing, which still looks fucking stupid. lol

Martian Manhunter

Martian Manhunter

What in the HELL is going on in J’onn’s comics as of late?!?! No, seriously, someone please explain this shit to me! It turned out he was a bio-engineered weapon the Martians were going to use to take over Earth, and that he was hiding that for years, and that might’ve been why he was kicked outta the League during the gap between the first two story arcs of Justice League, but he doesn’t wanna hurt anyone, but he’s not willing to stop the plan, but then he wants to die, and then he does die, but somehow he’s got different aspects of himself that converge into a new Martian Manhunter, who looks…well, I’m not gonna say BAD. In fact, as far as radical redesigns go, at least this keeps some aspects of the old look intact. But still, he tries at first to lead the martian invasion, but then he decides not to, and now he’s got some kinda giant mech, which is both awesome and stupid, I don’t even know, and oh God, my head… … … …So yeah, please DC, just put him back on the Justice League and scale this nonsense down a bit. I had to check my ear a second ago just to make sure there wasn’t blood seeping from my brain and out there from all that.

Cyborg

Cyborg

Okay, is it just me, or does the storyline of the government being untrusting of Cyborg actually make WAY more sense than when they do the same thing with Superman? Maybe it’s because we’ve seen that Vic’s control CAN be overrode, and thus it’s less about trusting that he’s a good guy, but rather concern that it could happen again, especially when he can be plugged into EVERYTHING. Plus, there’s the whole matter of Victor having cybernetic enhancements to benefit him after he lost most of his body, and yet amputees have to deal with ordinary prosthetic parts that don’t work even a tenth as good. I’m not saying everyone should be decked out with his stuff, and it was established from the beginning that the tech used to make him into Cyborg was experimental and very easily could’ve backfired. And yeah, none of this is actually Victor’s fault, he’s just as much a victim in this as anyone else. Still, I can at least understand the conflict here WAY more, and if they wanna continue with that arc post-Rebirth, I wouldn’t mind. However, I WOULD suggest maybe adding more to his rogues gallery. We need his version of the Joker or Lex Luthor, someone who is his opposite in nearly every way, but can challenge him on an equal footing despite his natural advantages.

Shazam

Shazam

If I haven’t made it abundantly clear by now, allow me to do so: I HATE THIS VERSION OF CAPTAIN MARVEL! And a big part of why I hate him all revolves around the mass changes to Billy Batson. He was supposed to be a sweet, innocent, giving, and (for the most part) selfless individual. It was why he was chosen to gain the powers of Shazam. But when we meet him in THIS universe, he’s a little punk shithead who cons people and is mean to his adoptive family for no reason other than he wants to be! And even after all that, when he finally becomes Shazam and learns more about being a hero, he STILL acts like a little twerp who swears a lot to sound adult and cool, which is at its most jarring when he’s transformed into Shazam, has the wisdom of Solomon, and therefore should know better! But then, I KNOW why they made those changes. It’s the exact same reason they made so many changes to Superman: It was to make him SO much more identifiable and realistic. But, just like with Superman, it was done in a manner so poorly that he no longer resembles the hero he once was in any way. Hell, he doesn’t even have the same NAME! Seriously, DC, if you are serious about this, look back at what made the old Captain Marvel a beloved character and try reintroducing those elements.

Anyway, that’s all when it comes to the Justice League. Check back in next time when I look at the Bat Family and what I hope and/or expect to see become of Nightwing, Batgirl, and the returning Birds of Prey. Ja né!

My Thoughts On The DC Rebirth Line-Up

Yeah, this is kinda late, but I thought I’d wait at least a little bit to see what news emerged before giving my thoughts on the current line-up. There were a lot of rumours going into Rebirth, namely what exactly it was. Another complete universal reboot, a soft reboot, a changed line-up to better reflect the shows and movies going right now, etc. In the end, though, what it appears to be is basically taking the concept of books like Green Lantern Rebirth and The Flash Rebirth and applying it to the DC Universe as a whole, as Geoff Johns explains here:

So, it doesn’t seem to be a universal reboot, but rather a soft reboot to reintroduce certain aspects of the characters that we love, as well as re-establish certain other heroes. We can go more in-depth about what that might entail, as well as the cryptic words of the mysterious narrator, later, though. For now, let’s just look at the actual line-up of books that have been confirmed thus far, which looks like this:

June:
Rebirth Specials:
• AQUAMAN REBIRTH #1
• BATMAN REBIRTH #1
• THE FLASH REBIRTH #1
• GREEN ARROW REBIRTH #1
• GREEN LANTERNS REBIRTH #1
• SUPERMAN REBIRTH #1
• TITANS REBIRTH #1
• WONDER WOMAN REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• AQUAMAN #1
• BATMAN #1
• THE FLASH #1
• GREEN ARROW #1
• GREEN LANTERNS #1
• SUPERMAN #1
• WONDER WOMAN #1

New Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• ACTION COMICS #957
• DETECTIVE COMICS #934

July
Rebirth Specials:
• BATGIRL & THE BIRDS OF PREY REBIRTH #1
• HAL JORDAN & THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS REBIRTH #1
• THE HELLBLAZER REBIRTH #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE REBIRTH #1
• NIGHTWING REBIRTH #1
• RED HOOD & THE OUTLAWS REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• HAL JORDAN & THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE #1
• NIGHTWING #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping monthly):
• BATGIRL #1
• BATGIRL & THE BIRDS OF PREY #1
• THE HELLBLAZER #1
• RED HOOD & THE OUTLAWS #1
• THE SUPER-MAN #1
• TITANS #1

Fall
Rebirth Specials:
• BATMAN BEYOND REBIRTH #1
• BLUE BEETLE REBIRTH #1
• CYBORG REBIRTH #1
• DEATHSTROKE REBIRTH #1
• EARTH 2 REBIRTH #1
• SUICIDE SQUAD REBIRTH #1
• SUPERGIRL REBIRTH #1
• TEEN TITANS REBIRTH #1
• TRINITY REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• CYBORG #1
• DEATHSTROKE #1
• HARLEY QUINN #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA #1
• SUICIDE SQUAD #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping monthly):
• BATMAN BEYOND #1
• BLUE BEETLE #1
• EARTH 2 #1
• GOTHAM ACADEMY: NEXT SEMESTER #1
• SUPERGIRL #1
• SUPERWOMAN #1
• SUPER SONS #1
• TEEN TITANS #1
• TRINITY #1

…So, let’s go over my thoughts for now about some of the announced books, starting with…

The Superman Books

The Superman Books

Looks like the Superman titles are undergoing a major revamp. While Action Comics is going back to its old numbering, Supergirl is returning with her own title (about time), and we’re also getting the new books Superwoman, Super Sons, and The Super-Man. If I had to take a guess, and I suppose at this point that’s all I can do, I’d wager that this all has to do with the upcoming Super League storyline that’ll wrap up the current Superman titles, with Superman enlisting several other superheroes as a team of Supermen (and Superwomen, it seems). Why is he doing this? Well, recently, Superman was able to regain his powers, but at a price, and he’s potentially dying, so he might be trying to pull a Batman and have the Super League act as a contingency should something happen to him and the world still needs Superman. Also, Batman/Superman and Superman/Wonder Woman seem to be getting dropped in favour of a Trinity book, which I am 100% okay with, especially since both books have been telling the same story as the other Super titles anyway. Might as well just put all three in a single title where they all get top billing. Also, I can’t help but notice that Superman: Lois And Clark is disappearing, but I’ve heard that the pre-Flashpoint Superman who appears in that book will both be involved in the Super League story as well as Rebirth, so not crossing them out just yet. Lastly, the one book that got me to raise an eyebrow most in this whole line-up was “The Super-Man”. However, I’ve since been directed to a cover for Justice League #51, where Lex Luthor is shown to be in a Superman-esque costume. Perhaps an attempt to cast Lex Luthor as the evil Superman that was originally conceived before Action Comics #1? We’ll see. Oh, and just saying, PLEASE DC, put Superman in a costume that at least balances out the three colours better. There’s just too much blue and not enough yellow in this equation.

The Batman Books

The Batman Books

I’m a bit interested to see where Batman goes now that he’s been back from the dead…again. lol I mean, the last time he came back, he created Batman Incorporated. Right now, it feels like a similar idea isn’t far off, with Jim Gordon apparently keeping his Batsuit, Batgirl starting a new Birds of Prey team, and Dick Grayson evidently going back to being Nightwing. And, if you’re confused about that, well…Batman And Robin Eternal #20 kinda revealed that Helena Bertinelli set it up to where Spyral’s orbital little satellite has the ability to make everyone forget about his unmasking and ‘death’ in Forever Evil, thus allowing him to go back to his old life if he so chose. And, I gotta admit, when I first heard about that, it actually sounded like an intriguing moral and ethical dilemma: Should Dick use this technology, essentially mind wiping the entire planet’s population, so he can go back to being Nightwing? Or should he continue to work for a group of secret agents who are CONSTANTLY bending the rules of what is and isn’t ethically sound or legal in order to get the job done? It’s not an easy situation to figure out… … …Too bad I know for a fact that they’re not gonna explore it much and instead it looks like he’s just gonna flip the switch and damn the consequences. I’m not saying that’s necessarily WRONG, just…kinda feels like the easy way out. Frankly, at this point, I just hope they put him back in blue this time around. I’m also interested to see what Batgirl And The Birds Of Prey will be like, and I kinda hope that Gail Simone ends up writing it eventually. Ask nearly anyone, and they’ll tell you that Birds of Prey was at its best when Gail was writing it. No sign of a Robin book yet, which is a little concerning, and it looks as though Gotham Academy is continuing on. And lastly, yeah, I remember what my initial reaction was to Red Hood And The Outlaws coming back, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that, as long as that book is around, it keeps Scott Lobdell away from anything I actually CARE about. 😛

The Justice League Books

The Justice League Books

SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKINGSHITMASSAGINGCOCKGRINDINGMONKEYFACEDCLOWNFART!!! Just when Justice League had become AMAZING, Johns and Fabok are both off the book! Didn’t I specifically say I wanted them to stay on the book going into Rebirth?!…Well, hopefully, Fabok can find work on one of the other titles. I’m personally hoping for Wonder Woman, because I fucking love how he draws her. Speaking of, I’ve been hearing rumours (so take this with a grain of salt) that Marguerite Bennett could be the new writer for Wonder Woman, which is actually funny because she’s Scott Snyder’s old pupil, and I was requesting Scott Snyder’s Wonder Woman a while ago, so…Yeah. lol Anyway, Justice League of America is apparently just gonna be Justice League America…’kay. Why we can’t just call it JLA, I dunno.

The Titans Books

The Titans Books

So, I’m guessing that since there are two Titans books right now, Teen Titans and Titans Hunt, and there are two Titans books post-Rebirth, Teen Titans and just plain Titans, that plain Titans is probably gonna be about Dick Grayson, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, and the other older Titans. With any luck, we’ll see Starfire join that team, since her book is ending (not cancelled, though, as it was apparently always planned for 12 issues), and otherwise, I fear she might end up going back to RHATO, which I would LOATHE. Other than that, not much else to discuss.

Everything Else

Everything Else

Like I said earlier, the team of Marguerite Bennett and Jason Fabok on Wonder Woman would be awesome if it comes to be. The silhouettes for the official image for Rebirth suggest the return of Wally West as Kid Flash, which could prove interesting for The Flash, and there looks to be a female Green Lantern, which could be Jessica Cruz, and after recent events with the Green Lantern Corps, they could use the new recruits who are already a little experienced with Power Rings. It’s looking like Earth 2 might be reverting back to a more traditional look and feel, especially if I’m right about who that is second from the left behind the curtain of the Rebirth image. And I couldn’t help but notice both Ted Kord and Jaime Reyes appeared in the video, so seeing that there’s a Blue Beetle comic involved raises some questions, like are they going to be working as a duo of sorts. And Hellblazer…Look, I don’t really care about Constantine. I find him to be a major horse’s ass, personally speaking. But, I know a lot of people DO care, and were pissed when his show got cancelled rather quickly, so I will say that I’m glad those people are getting their fill of Constantine, both with this comic and with his appearances in Arrow. Oh, and lastly, I’ve heard that Rebirth will apparently include what Dan Didio calls his most controversial moment ever…Dear God, save me. -_-

Anyway, those are my thoughts so far. If anything else comes up that I’m personally invested in, I’ll go ahead and give my thoughts on it. Be sure to leave your own thoughts below, and we’ll see what goes on from now ’til June. Ja né!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Oh yeah, and expect a How To Drop The Ball In Comics: The New 52 in June. ^_^

Could 2014 Be The Flash’s Year? Wally West Returns At Last!

Sorry I haven’t been around as much, but I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch, and I’m rethinking how I do things on the blog. Suffice to say, things have been kinda slow on here, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m gonna try to make up for it. I’ll give an update as to what I’ve been up to shortly, but I will say right now that most of it has been fanfiction and job hunting. lol

The Flash #30

Anyway, with that outta the way, let’s talk about the Fastest Man Alive: The Flash. A lot of people already know that Flash is gonna be in Justice League: War, and will also be getting his own tv show this year. Well, it was recently announced that Flash’s comic is also getting a whole new creative team, with co-writers Robert Venditti and Van Jensen, and Brett Booth as the artist, all starting with The Flash #30. And as if that ain’t big enough news, one week later, the team will be doing The Flash Annual #3, where they will FINALLY reintroduce Wally West.

Wally West as The Flash, as drawn by Brett Booth

Now, given how long I’ve bitched about Wally being gone, I’m of course ecstatic. At the same time, this also leaves with with some questions, specifically what role Wally will play. The moniker of Kid Flash is already taken by Bart Allen, and I somehow doubt that Dan Didio will allow there to be two Flashes again, which I will admit was kinda confusing. So, where does that leave Wally? Well, as I said, Bart is currently Kid Flash, meaning the role of Impulse is currently unclaimed. Other than that, I suppose it’s POSSIBLE, with the current storyline involving Bart Allen dealing with his past in the future (don’t ask) that Wally might replace him.

Grant Gustin as Barry Allen in Arrow

But, let’s not take away from Barry Allen’s success as a character that has led him to what could be a landmark year for the character. As I said, he will be appearing in Justice League: War, a loose adaptation of the first Justice League story of the New 52, as portrayed by Christopher Gorham, and he’ll also be starring in a spin-off show for Arrow, as portrayed by Grant Gustin. Between all of that and the new creative team on his comic, is it possible that 2014 could be The Flash’s year? I mean, we know Batman’s gonna have a hell of a year, what with it being his 75th Anniversary, but could Flash be looking to steal some of The Dark Knight’s thunder?

Leave your comments below on what you think of all of this, and hopefully, we won’t have to wait long for answers regarding Wally’s return and the extent of how big this year’ll be for the Scarlet Speedster. Ja né!

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Jyger’s Rant – What I Liked and Didn’t Like About Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So I just got finished watching Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, which is an animated movie based off the event comic Flashpoint. If you’ve never read the book or seen the movie, then I’m sorry, spoilers ahead. However,I’d wager to bet that everyone reading DC nowadays at least has heard of Flashpoint and knows that it’s the event that closed out the previous continuity in DC Comics, established with Crisis on Infinite Earths and shaping the modern DC universe, and began the DCnU, also known as The New 52 (even though it’s two years old and does not currently consist of 52 books like it originally had). Either way, here’s a brief summary of the events for those who don’t wanna read it, or who have and need a refresher on what happened. This is Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox.

The Flash (Barry Allen) is consumed with grief over the loss of his mother, so he decides to use his speed to travel back in time and save her. However, when he wakes up the next day, the world isn’t like he remembers. Kal-El was never found by the Kents, instead held in a government compound. Bruce Wayne was shot by Joe Chill and his father, Thomas Wayne, becomes a gun-totting Batman while his wife, Martha Wayne, goes insane and becomes The Joker. Aquaman has an affair with Wonder Woman, which Mera discovers, and is killed in self-defense when she attacks Diana, leading Themyscira and Atlantis to all-out war. And lastly, Cyborg is working for the government, trying to bring together a group of heroes (and a villain or two) to stop Diana and Arthur from causing World War III. There’s a ton of other characters involved, like Grifter, Hal Jordan, Lois Lane, Shazam, and Captain Atom, but it mostly centers around Flash, Batman, Cyborg, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and Professor Zoom.

Anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, Barry travels to Gotham City and meets Batman, telling him what happened. He finds Professor Zoom’s suit in his ring instead of his own, and Batman theorizes that Zoom planted it there to let him know he’s still around, leading Barry to believe Zoom is the cause of the change to history. However, after the final battle between Aquaman and Wonder Woman begins and the heroes try to stop the war, Zoom arrives to tell Barry that he didn’t do anything: Barry is the cause. When Barry broke through the time barrier to save his mother, he created a time boom (comparative to a sonic-boom created when someone breaks the sound barrier) that altered history. Batman kills Zoom, since he was siphoning off the Speed Force and keeping Flash from going through time again, so that Barry can go back and stop himself from altering history, thus averting the crisis that almost destroyed the world. However, while that succeeds, we see in the end that he and Batman’s costumes have changed, though neither notices the difference, as the universe has still been changed into that of the DCnU.

There’re a lot more details to go over, but because I’m honestly left liking a lot of moments in this movie and hating others, I’m gonna give my thoughts based on lists of what I liked and hated. Also, I don’t wanna compare this to the book, since the only part of Flashpoint I ever read was the ending, but there IS something that happens there that didn’t happen in the movie, so I’ll leave that for after my lists. So first, here’s what I liked about this movie.

  1. Pretty much the entirety of the Flash Museum battle, in particular how Professor Zoom’s bombs are dealt with. The Justice League show up to help Barry with the situation, as Zoom has planted bombs on The Rogues, and we see them all using their unique powers, skills, and quick thinking to deal with each one: Aquaman has millions of microbes eat one bomb for dinner, Batman and GL disable one in space, Atom fries one in the atmosphere, Wonder Woman uses Captain Cold’s freeze gun on one, Flash uses his speed to gather a ball of wind to knock out one he can’t reach, and Superman…Well, Superman just clutches the last one in his hands and lets it blow up rather harmlessly. lol
  2. Lois Lane is not shown to die…I KNOW, RIGHT?! I mean, we can infer that when Aquaman blows up Captain Atom to destroy the surface world that she would’ve died, but since we never see her die and Flash goes back in time before the blast is completed, we can’t really add her to the kill-count in this movie (which sadly, there IS a rather lengthy kill-count, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, not only does she not die, but she joins Grifter’s team and starts kicking all kinds of ass in the final battle.
  3. I love just how many characters are involved in this. The Batsons, General Lane, Harley Quinn (now called YoYo for some odd reason), Flash’s Rogues Gallery, BOTH AQUALADS! I’m just a sucker for stories that involve LOTS of characters, because it makes me wanna brush up on what I know about them all.
  4. This is a great movie for fans of Barry Allen. Actually, I would daresay it’s a good movie for people who don’t like him too, because we pretty much get the best of him in this movie. He goes through the process of recreating the accident that gave him powers, TWICE, even after the first time fails and leaves him covered in third degree burns. He rallies the heroes together to try and stop the war. He’s CONSTANTLY pushing the boundaries of what should be possible even for him, just to give this insane world a chance. And when he finally realizes exactly what’s happened, what he did to cause all this, he undoes it, because he knows what his mother would WANT him to do, and that the cost of letting himself do what he did was too high. No second guesses, no easy way out. Be a hero.
  5. There’s just something about the ending where Barry gives the letter from his father to him that gets me emotional. It even lets me ignore the simple questions of how he should even be in possession of it if the timeline it comes from was erased.

…So that’s what I liked about the movie, but what did I hate about it?

  1. As I mentioned before, the kill-count in this movie gets kinda crazy, and the violence gets pushed pretty high for a PG-13. Steve Trevor is hanged, Mera is beheaded, Cyborg is torn apart until his heart is exposed, Kal-El accidentally fries some soldiers when he gains his heat vision for the first time, Billy Batson (who I must remind is a kid when he’s not Shazam) is stabbed, and Professor Zoom has a hole shot through his head. Look, I’m generally the first to stick up for kids and what they can and can’t handle, but this woulda traumatized me as a child. And frankly, just the fact that we see these characters killing each other in such graphic detail when a lot of them are the otherwise good guys is so hard to watch sometimes.
  2. Kind of a minor one, but Batman referring to Cyborg as a ‘boy-scout’ and Cyborg working for the government just makes me think of Frank Miller’s writing…in a bad way.
  3. I’m not sure why this is called Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, when the members are only seen as being the Justice League in one scene. Other than that, it focuses primarily on The Flash and Batman (because he’s DC’s meal ticket, and as much as I love the crap outta Batman, it can get EXTREMELY annoying how much they push him, even in other people’s stories). Flash being the central protagonist is kind of the reason the comic was originally called Flashpoint.
  4. Why is Wonder Woman a mass-murderer who assists Aquaman in cheating on his wife? Come to think of it, why is Aquaman an adulterer who then goes to war when his wife that he cheated on went to go kill Diana and was killed in self-defense? I get it, it’s a different version of the characters, but the changes in personalities and perspectives for the characters are usually explained, except for these two. The problem with that is that their conflict is the major conflict of the movie, since Flash has to stop their war from destroying the world.
  5. Not that big a deal, but…WOW, Cyborg is tall in this! I know it shouldn’t bug me all that much, but in every scene that he’s in, I just can’t stop thinking “Holy shit, Cyborg’s tall!” He’s bigger than Superman, for crying out loud! And he’s got that big honking blaster on his right arm. Dude, I don’t think you need to compensate for anything! You’re freaking Cyborg! lol

…So now that we’ve gone over what I liked and hated, let’s talk about what big thing was missing from the movie: Pandora. Again, for those who don’t know, in the original comic, after stopping himself from changing history, Flash heads back to the present, but encounters Pandora. Pandora explains that the universe was split into three (DC, WildStorm, Vertigo) to weaken it for some coming threat, and that she’s using Flash’s travelling through time to recombine the universes, thus creating the realm we know as the DCnU. So, if she’s absent from this movie, what’s the implication? That Flash still managed to botch up history somehow? Now, it’s not as big a deal here as it was in the comics, since the movies jump around wherever they like and most exist in their own universes (although I’m pretty sure Justice League: War is a sequel of sorts to this), but it still makes me question it… … …Also, where the hell was Element Woman? o.O

Overall, what are my thoughts? Well, my biggest problem with the Flashpoint comic, at least what I read of it and about it, is that it seems relatively small when you consider it’s the last story of the former DCU. But again, that’s not a problem for the movie. Heck, I understand another movie they’re gonna do in the future is an adaptation of the story where Bruce meets Damian. The violence DOES bother me a lot, though, as do the Flashpoint-verse Wonder Woman and Aquaman. I DO see the heart of this story on its own, however: It’s about a man who fell to the temptation to do what he thought would be the right thing for someone he cared about, he made a terrible mistake, and when he realized it, he did what was necessary to set everything right, making the sacrifice needed to save the world. So, there IS a good story beyond all the blood and death…which, I think I may have heard was actually made worse for the movie, I’m not sure.

But anyway, those’re my thoughts on The Flashpoint Paradox. Have you got a different take on it? Comment below what you thought of the movie, the comic, the DCnU, whatever, and I will see you guys next time. Ja né!

Tales of Dumbassery – What Is Iconic In Comic Books?

Once again, dear friends, I hope you have anaesthesia on hand, as we are about to dive into…

Tales of Dumbassery

Y’know, a word that gets tossed around in comics a lot lately is ‘iconic’. Specifically, what characters qualify as iconic. And I don’t mean their aliases, I mean the people behind the masks. It seems to be used to justify a lot of decisions made with the New 52. Like, “Hal Jordan is the Green Lantern serving on the Justice League because he’s the most iconic Green Lantern”, or “Barry Allen is the only Flash because he’s the most iconic Flash”, or “Barbara Gordon was made Batgirl again for the New 52 because she’s the most iconic Batgirl”…Well, okay, I should be fair, it’s not JUST the New 52 that does this. Take Injustice for example. Barry Allen is The Flash, Hal Jordan is Green Lantern, and guess who just got confirmed to be in the game as DLC?

Based on what I can tell, iconic in this sense means they were the first to serve as these aliases in the modern DC universe, and by that, I mean what was previously known as New Earth (created through the events of Crisis on Infinite Earths) and is now Prime Earth (created through the events of Flashpoint). My guess is that this means they’re the ones most people are most familiar with as these heroes. I’m sure that a lot of people feel that logic is justified, and I can definitely see how they would think that…despite how wrong it is.

Okay, bear with me here: You guys know how my favourite Batgirl is Stephanie Brown, right? Well, while she’s my favourite, I don’t know if I’d really call her the most iconic. For me, and this is just me personally, I think the most iconic Batgirl would be the one who has made the most impact by her presence, and when I think that, I think Cassandra Cain. And why do I feel she made the most impact? Well, aside from her uniqueness as a character, how she operates as Batgirl, and also that her costume is VERY different from Steph and Babs’, she was also the first Batgirl to get her own solo series that lasted longer than a single issue. In fact, Cass’ Batgirl title lasted 75 issues. Steph’s didn’t even make it half that amount.

But there are other reasons I consider the logic of the “this character was the first to be this hero, and that makes them the most iconic” to be wrong. As I said, I think the reason for that is because they’re generally the one people are most familiar with…except that’s not always the case. Depending on what comics you read and when, you might be more familiar with John Stewart or Kyle Rayner as Green Lantern than Hal Jordan. Or say you got into comics through the cartoons. In that case, you were likely more familiar with Wally West as The Flash than Barry Allen. Or perhaps you only started reading comics with the New 52. Under that situation, you’re probably more familiar with Damian Wayne as Robin than Dick Grayson or ANYBODY else who came before him. God help you if you got into comics through the Joel Schumacher movies, though. Then you’d think Mr. Freeze was an Austrian who spewed ice one-liners, and Bane was some random thug they stuck in a luchador mask and pumped full of crap that made him a mindless brute.

There is a third reason I find that logic to be bunk, specifically as it pertains to the New 52: If the characters were chosen based on their iconic stature of being the first to assume the mantle of certain heroes, then why is Bart Allen in Teen Titans as Kid Flash? Now before anyone suggests this is an attack on Bart Allen, you can relax, I have no issues with the character whatsoever. I’m just wondering why it’s him to assume the position of Kid Flash instead of Wally West. Or heck, why is Cassie Sandsmark operating as Wonder Girl instead of Donna Troy? Again, nothing wrong with Cassie, I just find that the meaning behind these choices is very warped and confused when you consider her presence here.

Do you see where I’m going with all of this? Basically, the word iconic is used to explain certain character choices, but the meaning behind iconic is constantly changed to mean whatever the individual(s) in charge want it to mean. And honestly, if yer going to go that route anyway, why not just say “We picked who we liked”? Because I get it, you had a limited number of spots to utilize with the massive roster of characters you had available to you, you got overwhelmed, and you knew that no matter who you picked to get into these stories, you’d piss somebody off. So why not just tell the truth and say you’re sorry? I don’t get that.

Anyway, that’s my two cents on this particular matter. Feel free to add your own, and I will be back later today with my vlog from Free Comic Book Day and my latest What I Bought Today. Ja né!

What I’d Do With The New 52 – Part 04: My First 52 Titles (1 – 13)

So I’ve talked big on what I would do with the New 52 for some time now, so I think now’s a good enough time to talk about what I would do with the New 52 if I was in charge from the beginning. Now keep in mind, this is not me saying that my line-up is so superior to the current or anything like that. If you prefer the current line-up, that’s awesome. I’m simply voicing what I personally would have set-up for the initial 52 titles of DC’s relaunch. And if I feel that something worked better as it originally was, I’ll just say so and leave it as is. So, let’s start off with titles 1-13 (in no real solid order), and seeing as how it’s how I started this long-winded rant, let’s start off with…

You remember how I said that I didn’t take issue with Barry Allen? Yeah, that was a while ago, and since then, he has pretty much bored me to tears. In short, I’d either bring back Wally West as the one and only Flash, or have him and Barry work together as a team. Otherwise, as far as the actual plot is concerned, while I understand the need to build everything up for new readers, I think the story could’ve stood to be sped up.

Oh boy, where do I start? First off, I think I’d have the Daily Planet instead becoming an online newsletter type of company, instead of going out of business and being bought out because newspapers are dying. Second, if editorial mandate was responsible for Clark Kent and Lois Lane not being married or even in a relationship anymore, what I would’ve done is at least have her be his closest friend, know the truth of his identity, and be his supporter while he’s Superman. Also, I would try to have a few stories be less about smacking you about the face with the fact that Superman is an alien, and frankly just have Superman be a little more…nice, I guess? lol

Pretty much leave it as is. Really, the only thing I’d change is elements that were carried over from other books, so I’ll just address them there…which I might as well cover now.

PUT HIM BACK IN BLUE! No, I refuse to let this go! I am sick of all the frakking red these days. There was no reason to put Nightwing in red other than to make him seem edgy or some bullcrap like that. But other than that, I don’t really have much issue with the story, other than that the filler stuff we got in between Night of the Owls and Death of the Family seemed somewhat lacklustre, and while I like the character a lot, I still don’t think it’s a good idea to have Sonia Branch be his love interest.

I would’ve done more to make Batman and Robin feature equally in this book, and it would’ve been nice to see Dick Grayson and Damian have a sit-down talk before Damian teams with his father full-time, but otherwise, I’d leave Batman and Robin as is.

First off, not a fan that the canon of Teen Titans prior to this was completely and utterly erased. Alterations would of course need to be made, but otherwise the existence of the team did not need to be wiped away. Also, I would change the colour-scheme of this team. Maybe make Bunker purple and green instead of purple and red, put Wonder Girl back in her blue jeans, and I’d bring Jackson Hyde as Aqualad in, though maybe have him take on a more sea-green colour-scheme simply because THE TEAM NEEDS MORE COLOUR. Finally, The Culling? *makes throat-slit motion*

Oh, hell no, I ain’t changin’ nothin’. This was actually a situation where DC did the smart thing by not resetting Green Lantern, ‘cuz my goodness, could you imagine if they did after the last thing to happen before the relaunch? Fans would have risen up and slain them.

Again, I don’t really mind the story that was being told with Aquaman at all, but there is one thing that got kind of vexing. You know how people have made jokes for YEARS that Aquaman was useless and whatnot, leading to this book basically being the idiot’s guide to why that opinion was stupid? While I’m in favour of that, the joke kinda played itself out for WAY too long. Like, first issue of the Throne of Atlantis story arc in Justice League, and the people in the story are still making Aquaman jokes. But otherwise, the stories are just fine and work great for the character.

I’m sorry, I know I don’t shut up about this, but dammit, there is no reason Cyborg should be the only member of the Justice League who can’t get his own book. There’s plenty of ways to make it interesting, plenty of villains who could work as antagonists to him. Heck, they could even do build up toward Throne of Atlantis where we see Cyborg meeting with the heroes who form The Grid. As for what I’d replace, probably Deathstroke. Sorry guys, but there’s a reason Deathstroke is getting cancelled. Still, I suppose he could work as a great villain in this book.

Two words: Gail Simone. Even if the story of turning Wonder Woman into the daughter of Zeus and the horrific changes to the Amazons were forced and HAD to be done, Gail could make it work. I think the only bomb on her record is Fury of Firestorm, and she was only co-writing that book. Otherwise, while I don’t mind turning Wonder Woman into Zeus’ daughter all THAT much, the changes to the Amazons were too much and I would fight that to the death if I had to in order to keep it from changing.

Not much I’d change about the first arc, it’s okay. My main gripes with Justice League that I’d change are the Superman/Wonder Woman pairing, the Shazam back-up, and maybe some dialogue choices during The Villain’s Journey. In particular, one thing that annoys me to no end is how in Justice League #7, Batman tells Steve Trevor to shut down the Justice League International, that it was an embarrassment…even though he was one of the founding members of it, and respected the hell out of what Booster Gold was trying to do with his rag-tag team. Consistent continuity, please?

Okay, I get why the first arc focused on Superman’s early days, but after that, they didn’t really HAVE to have it continue to be a Superman solo book. Not that Superman couldn’t be in it or have stories in it, but I think from that point, they could’ve done stories with other characters in rotation. For example, since the first arc, has anyone seen Steel? Or heck, has Livewire even appeared since the reboot? You could do a whole arc focusing on the Supermen of America, and I would.

Pretty much the same thing here, though I’d replace the Batman part with whoever was highlighting the book at any given time. For example, there’s plenty they could do with Red Robin in a solo book. Or perhaps they could do a story where various members of Batman Incorporated have to work together WITHOUT Bruce to lead them because he’s otherwise occupied. Gates of Gotham did that, and it was pretty damned good.

So yeah, as you can see, I didn’t really change all that much with the first 13 books, though I did introduce a new one and axe an old one. Trust me, though, there’s plenty more I plan to change as time goes by, so I will see you all here next time when I look at the next 13 books I’d do for the New 52. Ja né!

What I Got For Christmas – Justice League: Origin + Justice League #5 & #6 Review (SPOILERS AHEAD)

So yeah, got some money and gift cards for Christmas, which means I’ll likely be getting what can be considered more stuff for Christmas. I’ll cover that later on, obviously. Also, I got The Dark Knight Rises for Christmas, but since I already gave my thoughts on that movie a long time ago, I’m not gonna bother here, so if you wanna know what I think, go read it. In the meantime, let’s dig into Justice League #5 & #6.

Admittedly an awesome cover, but it leaves me wondering where Flash and Batman are on it. We finally have all seven together in the comic, and now two are missing on the cover. Wha?

We open to Darkseid blasting the shit outta military aircraft. Flash gets up from Darkseid’s previous attack at the end of Issue #4 and yells at him to stop. However, he realises he was the first one up and is pretty much royally boned. Superman gets up next, but Darkseid fires his Omega Beams, Barry deciding to grab Superman and run for cover. They split up, but unfortunately the Omega Beams do too, and while Flash is able to vibrate through a Parademon to get it to take the blow, Superman isn’t so lucky. While Superman lives through the ordeal (because he’s Superman), the Parademons take him away while GL tries to take on Darkseid. It doesn’t go so well, Darkseid pummelling Hal and actually knocking him through the others before breaking Hal’s arm and walking off like a boss.

Batman finally tells it like it is to Hal Jordan: If he continues like this, and that if he doesn’t get out of his own way, he’s going to die. Batman unmasks, revealing himself to be Bruce Wayne (which results in what I personally find to be a hilarious panel where Hal has to ask who in the hell Bruce Wayne is), and Bruce tells him his story, of how his parents were murdered in front of his eyes when he was 10, and how he’s spent every day since training to fight the same criminals as those that took his parents’ lives. But Bruce notes, while removing his cape, the blades on his gloves, and even the Bat insignia on his chest (I guess it’s taped on? Maybe Velcro?), that this is bigger than him, bigger than any one of them. He tells Hal to rally the others while he goes to save Superman, letting the Parademons take him away while Hal admits that Bruce might just be crazier than himself.

Hal manages to get the others up and tells them what Batman said, that they need to start working like a team. He’ll turn the light up to get Darkseid’s attention so that the others can blind him, thus robbing him of his most powerful weapon and giving them a chance to take him down. Meanwhile, Bruce lets the Parademon lead him to where they were gathering before taking it down. However, what he finds is another Boom Tube, leading to their true gathering place, Darkseid’s homeworld, and if Hell was its own planet it would be this: Apokolips.

My pet peeve doesn’t really kick in here since this is more the sight of what will happen if the heroes fail.

Issue #6 opens with a family taking cover from the Parademons before Darkseid himself arrives to slaughter them, the father narrating that he thought they were going to die until he saw THEM: Green Lantern and the others assaulting Darkseid. Diana wraps him in the Lasso of Truth and demands that he tell them why he’s there, but Darkseid cryptically replies that he’s there “For her” before punching Diana away. Meanwhile Cyborg continues to intercept transmissions between Darkseid and the boxes, called Mother Boxes (actually they were originally called Father Boxes, whereas New Genesis had similar boxes called Mother Boxes, take a shot). Through them, Cyborg can see many worlds, all burning under attack like theirs, but finally manages to get his sights on Batman.

On Apokolips, Bruce has found Superman being tortured by Steppenwolf and DeSaad…who have never been revealed in the New 52 prior to this and new readers have no idea what their deal is. Take two shots! Apparently they plan to use Supes to assist in the search for Darkseid’s daughter…and now I’m confused. His daughter? Do they mean Bekka? Possibly Big Barda? What’s going on? So yeah, since this point confuses ALL readers, I present the final rule of the New 52 Drinking Game: When everyone, be they new or old readers, are confused by a plot point, take 3 shots! Btw, I would just like to note that while anyone else reading is likely drunk off their asses right now, I get away with not taking any shots because I’m a Straightedge. XD But yeah, apparently that’s who “she” is, Darkseid’s daughter, and he’s wrecking his way through planet after planet trying to find her.

Back on Earth, Diana and Aquaman manage to put a sword and a trident through Darkseid’s eyes, but the big mo-fo is still coming, so Cyborg decides the only way they can stop him is to send him back where he came from. Tapping into the Mother Boxes, he opens Boom Tubes all around them, which also opens the door for Superman and Batman to make it back to Earth, Superman messed up and talking about seeing the Multiverse and another version of himself (see Earth-2). As soon as he’s back on Earth and sees Darkseid though, he hits him with a flying double punch so hard it causes it to become a two-page spread.

Say it with me now, “I AM A MAN!!!” *PAWNCH!!!*

Y’know, as awesome as this is, and it IS awesome, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen a far more epic beatdown to Darkseid before…

God, I love JLU. 😀 Anyway, Cyborg’s systems start overloading, but Batman tells him it’s him that’ll be doing this and not the computer, mind over the machine, heart of the cards, yada yada, and Cyborg finally manages to suck Darkseid through the Boom Tubes and shuts them, the Mother Boxes getting fried in the process. They notice that the civilians have gathered around them and Flash thinks they should leave before they get out the burning pitch forks. However, it seems that the people have finally figured out that the seven are the heroes who just saved the world and cheer for them.

We cut to a while later at Washington D.C., where President Not-Bush is giving a speech about the recent crisis while the heroes stand by, chatting to each other. Aquaman resents the suggestion that his armour is a costume, saying he’d never choose orange for it while Hal tells him he doesn’t mind the orange but that the necklace has to go. Cyborg isn’t sure he should be with them, but Barry says he should and should be proud, motioning to the crowd where Dr. Stone is watching, proud of his son. Steve Trevor is shown too, I guess just to show that he survived the battle, and the father from the beginning of this issue is shown typing a story while narrating what’s happening. Hal can’t believe the people think of them as a team of friends, but Batman tells him that they need to make the world believe they are. Plus, they need to be working together in case something like this happens again. Hal wonders what the chances of that are, but suddenly the President gets word there’s trouble and they need the seven again, Barry saying they can refer to them as the Super Seven. Hal is unamused by the name (for once, we are of like minds), and Flash says they’ll think of something, ending with the father, David Graves, finishing writing his book, “Justice League: Gods Among Us”.

So does this mean David Graves also wrote the plot for “Injustice: Gods Among Us”?

Meanwhile in London, two creepy guys meet, talking about how new heroes are popping up every day, mentioning Green Arrow, Zatanna, and Hawkman. It’s at this point I should mention the fact that apparently at some point in the future, there were supposed to be new members to the League in the form of Deadman (Boston Brand), The Atom (Ryan Choi), Element Woman (Emily Sung), Hawkman (Carter Hall), Mera, Firestorm (Ronnie Raymond), Green Arrow (Oliver Queen), and a new revamp of the Golden Age character Lady Luck. To the best of my knowledge, this hasn’t happened yet, instead having Deadman (and Zatanna for that matter) being part of Justice League Dark, Mera mostly just sticking with her husband Aquaman (though she DOES appear in the crossover event Throne of Atlantis), Lady Luck apparently going to be appearing in The Phantom Stranger soon, Element Woman and Ryan Choi not having shown up at all, Ronnie becoming a new version of Firestorm that sees him bonding with Jason Rusch, and images of the upcoming Justice League of America shows Hawkman and Green Arrow being members of THAT team. This leads me to a few different conclusions as to what has happened, but I’ll get to that later. Instead, let’s just wrap up this page by explaining that these two men are members of the Religion of Crime from 52, thus hinting that they’ll eventually become important villains later on, but again, that hasn’t happened either.

Now, technically this isn’t the end of the comic, as we have a back-up story called “Pandora”. We see a man has been murdered in the streets, and among those in the crowd is Pandora. For those unaware, Pandora has actually been cameoing in the first issue of nearly every book in the New 52,  the only exception to this that I’m aware of being Earth-2 (which actually makes sense, since it’s an alternate Earth). She takes a closer look at the body when she’s confronted by The Phantom Stranger, who says that “they” sent him to speak with her, “they” likely consisting of Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Jeff Jarrett, and Jeff Hardy… … …God, TNA storylines are stupid.

Pandora doesn’t seem all that amused by this, and The Phantom Stranger simply remarks that she should feel glad they didn’t send The Spectre, but Pandora claims she doesn’t fear The Spectre, having been judged by forces far above him: The Circle of Eternity. All of this is explained in a book that was made available on Free Comic Book Day, but just in case you don’t have it, I will simplify what’s happening here: Pandora and The Phantom Stranger make two of three individuals that were judged by The Circle of Eternity and punished eternally for their sins, the third apparently being The Question. TAKE A SHOT.

Is she good or evil? Misguided or insane? Does she know nothing…or everything?

Anyway, it seems that the Phantom Stranger is aware of the changes that Pandora made to reality, Pandora claiming she realigned and strengthened it while the Phantom Stranger feels that she’s dangerous and has been in possession of ‘the box’ for too long. However, Pandora screams at him to not touch her and that she won’t just be an observer anymore. They get into a short fight before Pandora shoots him in the head with what I can assume to be a magic gun (seriously, where are people purchasing these? XD), but anyone who knows the Phantom Stranger knows that trying to kill him is like trying to fold a newspaper over 1,000,000,000 times, it just can’t be done. However, Pandora says that while she can’t kill him, she can HURT him, and knows the ultimate means of doing so: Telling the world who he is. Yeah, y’know how The Phantom Stranger’s identity and origins were always a mystery that, let’s face it, should have stayed a mystery since it makes his character all the more intriguing? Well, while it’s hinted who he is in that Free Comic Book Day comic, it’s pretty much been confirmed exactly who he is after The Phantom Stranger #0. Would you like to know? He’s actually JUDAS…Yeah, THAT Judas. As in the man who betrayed Jesus……………Dan Didio is a sick man! And so our comic ends with Pandora saying that she’ll be released from her curse, but only after she finds ‘The Strange’ and imprisons it, and that the Justice League will be the ones to help her, “Whether they like it or not”.

Yeah, the back story kinda sucks, but the rest of the book is awesome. The biggest issues that this book has is in the way it can confuse, baffle, and on occasions anger readers that have been reading prior to the relaunch, or even just fans who have been reading info on the various wikis and watched the cartoons or movies. However, when you consider that this book is supposed to be an introduction to the New 52, it’s kinda hard to judge it for that. Besides, the story is solid enough that it’s easy to enjoy. One problem I have is that while the story does manage to establish who everyone is, what their powers are, and what their motivations are, the one who is kind of left out is Superman, as we really only know that he’s an alien with speed and strength that rivals and often outright towers over every other member of the Justice League. However, it’s worth noting that the first arc of Action Comics in the New 52 was also a prequel story that explains Superman’s origins in the new universe…too bad it apparently wasn’t all that great. It’s also worth noting that Cyborg is the only member without a solo title of his own, but considering his story is pretty much told within Justice League, it’s not THAT big a deal. Would still be nice, though.

Overall, I have to give this book props and recommend it, especially for new readers looking to get into DC Comics. Although, it’s not the BEST book of the New 52, at least not in my own humble opinion. What do I consider the best book? Oh, my friends, be sure to check in again in a few months, when I begin a retrospective of Scott Snyder’s Batman.

“I know plenty about bats, Alfred. Tell me what you know about owls.”