Jyger The Mark – Elimination Chamber Predictions

Well, time for another WWE PPV, which means time for my predictions. Let’s not waste any time and dive into the first match predictions.

World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella vs. The Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes vs. The Great Khali

Well, if you saw my previous Jyger The Mark entry, you know how I feel about SOMEBODY in this match. Since I’ve already had my VERY angry rant about him though, I’ll opt not to talk about that again here. Instead, I’d like to point out, obvious that this is, that this is Daniel Bryan’s biggest challenge to date as far as defending his title. Should he win, he’ll move on to WrestleMania as the champion. And frankly, that’s what I’d like to see happen, for him to win this match and face Sheamus at WrestleMania, especially since the last time they were to fight at ‘Mania, it ended up becoming a Dark Match (non-televised match), which I felt was a slap in the face of all their hard work.

Predicted Winner: Daniel Bryan

Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Tamina Snuka

Surprisingly enough, I am actually kinda interested in this match. I wanna see how these two match up in a one-on-one match where the belt is on the line. I’m thinking what will happen is that Beth wins, continuing the story wherein she claims there are no legit contenders for the title, which will likely lead to a match between her and Kharma when she comes back from maternity leave.

Predicted Winner: Beth Phoenix

Ambulance Match: Kane vs. John Cena

A love triangle blossoming? Has John Cena embraced the hate? Will Kane emerge victorious, or will his own evil deeds be returned in kind? Has Zack Ryder officially become a Jackass stuntman? And can this scenario become any more like a soap opera?…Okay, seriously though, how much you wanna bet that Eve was in on this the whole time, that she was working with Kane? Wouldn’t surprise me one bit. Anyway, much as I don’t wanna go against Kane, Cena needs momentum going into WrestleMania, so I’m gonna say Cena for the win.

Predicted Winner: John Cena

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match: CM Punk (c) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

…I find myself in an odd position with this match in that, honestly, I don’t really care so much as how this match goes as how the fallout goes. Basically, regardless of who wins this match, I see four of the six going back to business as usual, while the other two BETTER be having a match at WrestleMania. But since I HAVE to make a prediction, I’m gonna say Chris Jericho to somehow take the belt away from CM Punk, leading to a match between them at WrestleMania. Either way though, if WWE has any sense at all, and I feel that this is what they are going for anyway, they will set up CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho at WrestleMania, which would in my opinion steal the f-ing show. So why Jericho to win instead of Punk? Well, basically because I think if the belt is involved in their feud, Punk would operate better going into ‘Mania as the hunter, not the hunted.

Predicted Winner: Chris Jericho

Well, that’s all from me. Enjoy the show tonight, and hopefully I’ll be able to cover the results tomorrow. Ja ne!

Jyger The Mark’s Ramblings – Royal Rumble Aftermath

Okay, so the Royal Rumble has come and gone, so now’s as good enough a time to look and see how I did in my predictions, as well as talk about some of the highlights from the show.

Since the show started with the Steel Cage Match, I’ll start off there. So yeah, pretty much like I thought it would go, with the three of them laying some pretty good beatings on one another, but ultimately Daniel Bryan managed to slip away with the win…quite literally, actually, since Big Show had him in a death grip above the ring and Bryan slipped out of his grasp to fall to the floor below, thus getting the win.

Daniel Bryan Wins

Afterwards, there was a bonus match: An 8-Diva Tag Match. I didn’t really care much for it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Natalya and Beth Phoenix, and I guess Kelly Kelly and Eve are alright, but…well, I guess I’ll just say it: Will somebody please tell me why the hell Alicia Fox got a match on a PPV? She is one of the worst piece of shit wrestlers I have ever seen in my life. Anyway, not much to say, Team Phoenix got the win.

So my reasoning behind Kane winning his match by DQ was simple: Cena needed momentum going into his match with The Rock, and Kane shouldn’t have lost his first big match back. I figured, how else could they pull this off? Well apparently, there was one way that I didn’t think of: A double count-out. Oh, and when it was over, Kane beat the crap outta Cena, got ahold of the already injured (on-screen that is) Zack Ryder, and gave him a Tombstone Piledriver just for fun. So yeah, should be interesting to see where this goes.

After that, I’m pretty sure there was a match between Drew McIntyre and Brutus Clay…At least I think there was. As soon as I saw Brutus come out and start dancing, I retreated into the dark recesses of my mind. Anyway, double checking on Wrestleview.com showed me that Brutus won with the…err, “What The Funk” Body Splash?…Okay…

Brutus Clay Wins

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler was again what I expected…with a slight twist, in that John Laurinaitis assigned a different in-ring referee and he essentially became the Special Enforcer/back-up referee. Punk and Ziggles (no I didn’t misspell it, that’s just what I call him sometimes) put on a good show, as I figured they would. I just hope that next time Ziggler gets a shot at the title, the story has more to do with him and not the guy officiating. Anyway, CM Punk wins with Laurinaitis getting in the ring to count along with the ref, continuing the current angle of him trying to suck up to everyone so that he’ll keep his job.

Finally, we came to the Royal Rumble. Before I get to the winner, lemme talk about some of my favourite moments from this Rumble…

Mr. Socko vs. The Cobra

As I’ve made clear to people I talk to about wrestling, I really can’t stand Santino. I find him to be a waste of money, especially when you consider that the only reason he ever got a job with WWE is that he gave them a reason to fire Jim Cornette. However I will note that he usually gives some HILARIOUS moments at the Rumble, and this year was no different as he and Mick Foley had a stand off, resulting in them pulling out Mr. Socko and The Cobra. Yeah, forget Cena vs. Rock, forget Hogan vs. Andre, Mr. Socko vs. The Cobra could totally headline Wrestlemania.

Superstars Return

Oh, we had some good ones this year. Not including Chris Jericho and Mick Foley, since we knew they’d be in already, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, The Great Khali, and even Kharma all returned to take a crack at winning the Rumble.

Kofi Kingston's Handstand

I honestly didn’t think anyone could ever beat John Morrison’s use of parkour to avoid elimination, and then I saw THAT. I should definitely make a list of some of the most eye-popping moments in the Rumble, but for now, let us just say that ranks pretty high.

All Three Announcers Enter

Yep, believe it or not, all three announcers entered the Royal Rumble this year, all the while I was laughing my ass off. And believe it or not, Michael Cole actually lasted longer than The King before…well, remember how I talked about those returns?

If I could, I would make that my screen saver. Seriously, that one move should award her a Slammy.

Anyway, on to the actual winner. You’ll recall I originally picked Chris Jericho, Sheamus, Randy Orton, or Wade Barrett to possibly win the Rumble. And as it turned out, three out of those four made it to the final four of the Rumble, with Jericho, Orton, and Sheamus staring each other and the 30th Entrant, The Big Show, down. Big Show was surprisingly the first of the four to go out, being eliminated by Orton, but then Jericho quickly tossed Orton out as well. After a LONG back and forth fight between Jericho and Sheamus, with multiple near-eliminations between the two, it finally ended with one good kick to the face of Chris Jericho, knocking him from the apron to the floor below, thus awarding Sheamus the victory as he will now move on to challenge the champion of his choosing in the main event at Wrestlemania.

Sheamus Wins

Well, that’s all from me. Hope you all enjoyed the Rumble as much as I did.