Speculations on The Spoony Experiment
I’ve been doing a lot of speculation regarding the current storyline taking place on The Spoony Experiment, although as of recent eps, I think it might be safe to refer to it as The Sephiroth Experiment, but I’ll get to that. But yeah, these are a few speculations on plot points that have occurred and how it’s all tying together, and possibly where it’s all leading. Also, this will obviously have spoilers for people who haven’t been watching for a while, to which I only grant a single chance to turn back.
…Anyway, with that out of the way, let’s start off with a big one. Oh, and please remember that I could be WAY off with any of these. It’s just speculation.
This one should be obvious. At the end of part two of the Final Fantasy X-2 review, Sephiroth appears by Burton, and we see in the Skullduggery review that he’s gone missing. He mysteriously returns at the beginning of part three of the FFX-2 review, but it’s clear that his programming has been altered. Also, we see that upon seeing Spoony, something called the Geostigma Protocol has been engaged. I’m not entirely sure if this means that Spoony has Geostigma or that it’s simply a codename to link it to Sephiroth, but either way it’s proof that Burton has been reprogrammed to work for Sephiroth, and if that one doesn’t sell you on that theory, this one should.
For anybody that saw the ending of the Game Over review, you know what I’m talking about. If not, I will explain: At the end of the review, Spoony comments on the lameness of the plot and how the villain sends the protagonist into a virtual world to remain until he goes crazy. As soon as he mentions this, he sees the ankh, the symbol of the Avatar, and we are treated to some Grade A nightmare fuel. In case it was moving to fast for you to catch the whole thing, allow me to slow it down for you.
This seems to suggest that Burton has placed Spoony in some type of virtual reality that is subjecting him to instances that are driving him further into his insanity and rage, and once he started to realise it, was shocked back into his virtual prison and set back on course. But what’s the purpose of doing this? Why subject him to all of this? Well, that leads into the next point…
Okay, for those of you that don’t know Sephiroth’s backstory, I suggest that you go read up on it. A great summary can be found here:
If you don’t want to read about it, I will state the one thing about his story and his goal that most matters here: In Final Fantasy VII, Sephiroth planned to drop Meteor on The Planet, thus damaging it to such a degree that the Lifestream would have to emerge to heal the damage, at which point he would situate himself in the centre of the impact zone and merge with it completely, thus becoming a god. This seems to suggest that in the TGWTG universe (that Spoony’s show still takes place in, despite being fired), there is a Lifestream running through our world as well. However, rather than use Black Materia to call upon Meteor, Sephiroth seems to have utilized a different method: I believe he is actually using Spoony’s anger as a power source to drag Meteor towards the world. And because Spoony is currently residing in his virtual prison, he is completely unaware of what’s really going on…although it seems that someone has tried to warn him.
Okay, I don’t want people to think that I’m suggesting the Guardian is a good guy hear. He very obviously desires to destroy and have people bow to his feet. However, I’m fairly certain that his goals conflict with Sephiroth’s. What makes me say that? Well, after rewatching the ending to the Ultima 9 review and the little Mass Effect 3 spoof that’s done there, the red and green endings seem to suggest that Spoony would cause the destruction of the world. As I pointed out before, Sephiroth’s character is not that of someone who just wants to destroy the world, and Noah Antwiler knows that better than anyone. Instead, I’m pretty sure that the Guardian is instead out to destroy and conquer and also to screw over Sephiroth’s plans.
So all of that put together, I’m pretty sure I can come to the following conclusions for what’s to come…
This is what this current storyline is leading up to, no doubt. Noah has gone on record as saying that Final Fantasy XIII is, in his opinion, the worst Final Fantasy game ever (with possible exception being FFXIV, but let’s face it, EVERYONE hated that one lol). Plus, there’s the simple fact that Sephiroth gave him the case for the game, Burton was shown holding it at the end of the Game Over review, and it was inside the Armageddon spellbook when the Guardian gave it to Spoony. It clearly plays a role in Sephiroth’s plans, and as I alluded to before, they seem to be to bring Meteor down and merge with the Lifestream, thus becoming a god. Only by realising what’s been happening to him and breaking free can Spoony hope to stop him.
Okay, I’m pretty sure the colour coded endings parodying Mass Effect 3 was just a joke, but even if it isn’t, I doubt very much any of them will be what actually ends up happening. I just feel that Noah is a bit smarter than to actually do that, or at least if he were to he would have some kinda follow up to it that doesn’t make it the end. Rather, his statement at the end of the Ultima 9 review and the look of determination in his eyes seem to suggest that he will find the fourth way out of this, stop Sephiroth, and save the world.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Again, I could be VERY wrong in a lot of my speculation here, but it is just speculation, so don’t rip me to shreds if things don’t play out like I said. Ja ne!
Everyone Reacts To “THAT’S A Paladin”
The sequel to my somewhat well known video, Everyone Reacts To “What’s A Paladin?”. Once I saw the ending to the Ultima 9 Review, I HAD to do this. Let this forever serve as a message to anyone who dares ask the question “What’s A Paladin?”. 😛
Footage belongs to The Spoony Experiment, Nostalgia Critic, Kickassia, Ring of Honor, Angel, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, Tekken: Blood Vengeance, and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
What’s A Paladin Rant
…You’ve all seen it. You all know what this is about. This is about quite possibly the dumbest line ever uttered in a video game EVER.
Y’know, I should make something clear: I haven’t played the Ultima games. I suppose I’d have never even heard of them if not for Spoony. However, having watched the Ultima Retrospect and then read up on some of the backstory, I can see why someone would be VERY upset by the sheer dumbassery of statements like this (though honestly the Avatar asking what the Codex of Infinite Wisdom is actually ticks me off worse).
Now, I get it. I get why those lines are in there, because EA wanted to have the Avatar ask these questions for the benefit of those that are just jumping into the series and might not know these things. Problem is that logic falls apart when you realise this is the NINTH entry into the main series (tenth if you count Ultima 7 Part 2). Who is gonna play this game that hasn’t either A) Played the previous games, or B) Read up on the other games so that they aren’t completely lost on the backstory? But just on the off-chance that there was someone playing that didn’t do either of those, there are better ways. Take for example Kingdom Hearts. In Kingdom Hearts 3D, there is a section of the game that is updated at times to continuously feed you additional information on what happened in the previous games so that you know what happened in case you didn’t play them. Now what’s so hard with doing that? Oh, but that’s right, not only does Ultima IX force feed you info with stupidly written dialogue, sometimes the information is plain old WRONG!
Now again, I don’t play the Ultima games, so maybe it’s odd that I come across as ticked off as I am. Well, it’s basically because this is not the ONLY series of games EA has screwed over, and with it becoming an alarming trend, I’m worried it’ll eventually affect games I DO play. Again, take Kingdom Hearts. What if Kingdom Hearts 3 came out and at every turn it contradicted everything to ever happen in the series? Like it turned out Sora and Riku were brothers (or boyfriends if you ship that, :P), or Sora DID become a Keyblade Master at the end of 3D, or Master Xehanort was Sora’s father. I’d have a similar reaction to Spoony’s over Ultima IX if that happened.
So yeah, that’s my take on all this, and EA, you officially fail.