Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 5

For those wondering, it wasn’t a quick victory. Raichu kept using Double Team over and over. I forget how many times Trinity missed before finally nailing the little bastard. 😛

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I stepped on board the S.S. Anne looking for a party and instead found myself with a bunch of tough Trainers and my Rival all looking for battles. After beating them all and getting the HM 01 to teach my Pokémon Cut, I cut down the branches blocking the way to the Vermilion City Gym and challenged the Gym Leader, ultimately coming out with a win and the Thunder Badge. This time, before making my way to Rock Tunnel (because a certain lazy sleepyhead Pokémon was blocking the fast way to Lavender Town), I decided to trek through Diglett’s Cave to obtain HM 05, which would be necessary to traverse the dark tunnel.

Y’know what’s ironic? Nowadays, Flash has an accuracy of 100%, making it actually kinda useful. Naturally, now that that’s the case, it’s no longer an HM. I’m still waiting for Cut to have a new effect or whatever, only for it to be permanently replaced by Rock Smash. lol

After getting the Flash HM, I decided to go around looking for new items…

SO tempted to make the Pokémon cloned from this Amber part of my team when the time comes.

…visit move tutors I couldn’t reach before…

And yes, THIS is what I’ve been waiting to do with Buttery: Sleep Powder + Dream Eater.

…and decided to re-challenge old Trainers I fought back on Route 3.

Okay, I’m just gonna say this right now: Can you imagine going on a journey as long as this one for real, going through tall grass and rocky caves, in SHORTS?! o.O

At this point, I was feeling pretty good about myself and my team. In fact, as I was on my way back to Vermilion through Diglett’s Cave, because I don’t have anyone that knows Teleport or Fly, I was thinking to myself about how I’ve kept back-ups for my team in my box and at the Daycare, and how I might someday find myself in a situation where someone on my team is going to die and I’ll have to make a choice as to who that is, but ultimately realized that I couldn’t really consider letting any of them die. The six in my party currently had been doing such a good job, and other than for the sake of traversing certain areas or challenging specific Gyms, I saw no reason to split up a winning team and didn’t wanna see any of them die. And just as I was thinking that…

…This game is intent on giving me a heart attack. I just know it.

Fucking Dugtrio pops up outta nowhere. It had never even occurred to me that I might end up running into another one after Trinity. Heck, more often than not, I’ll usually only ever run into ONE Dugtrio in Diglett’s Cave one time and then never again. But now, here one was, at Level 29, facing down Milo, who was at Level 23. I couldn’t recall him, I couldn’t run away. For a few moments, I was frozen thinking that, because I’d chosen not to have a Flying-type out in front, Milo was about to die. And I just remembered thinking to myself about how, it doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are, how strong you think your team is, and how cool a head you can keep, sooner or later, in a Nuzlocke, somebody dies. And there’s no doubt in my mind that that’s the case. No matter who you are, in a Nuzlocke, someday, somebody will die… … … …but, then again…somedays, everybody lives. 🙂

CLOSEST. BATTLE. EVER.

Thank GOD I had an X Attack and an X Defend in my backpack and had neglected to sell them, because otherwise, there’s NO fucking way, with a 6 level difference and a mass power advantage, that Milo could’ve beaten Dugtrio! And as it was, I still ended up having to use a shit-ton of Potions to keep him alive! Also, not kidding here, the last attack before I took Dugtrio out was a Mud-Slap that nailed a critical and reduced Milo’s accuracy. Milo almost died from a FUCKING MUD-SLAP! That would’ve resulted in the worst eulogy EVER! XD Anyway, after that, I opted to move Edge to the front to deal with Diglett for the rest of the trip, and decided to teach Milo Water Pulse in case something like this ever happened again. Oh, and on top of all that, after surviving that battle, Milo proceeded to find a TM 10, which taught him Hidden Power, and apparently, his Hidden Power is Flying-type, meaning he now has a means of taking on Fighting-types. At this point, I might as well just call Milo the Flukemaster.

Oh, and funny story, Drakeman later took out Machop in a single turn with Bullet Seed. It’s almost like him and Milo are trying to out-fluke one another. 😛

So yeah, after all that, I made my way back to Cerulean City and Cut my way to Route 9, where another slew of Trainers were in my way to Rock Tunnel. So, of course, after a quick battle montage…

Yeah, when I’m paralyzed and still getting my turn ahead of you, YOU ARE FREAKING SLOW. lol

… … …KEEP YOUR FETISHES TO YOURSELF!

First time seeing Charmander, if I’m not mistaken. Awesome. ^_^

Y’know, I can’t help but watch this and cringe at the thought of the dental work poor Milo is going to require.

Suffice to say, Dream Eater? Working out well for me. 🙂

…I made it to Route 10 and the entrance of Rock Tunnel. Of course, this meant I had new Pokémon I could obtain, so I opted to take care of that first. Especially since I hadn’t caught anything in a while and still needed new Dex pages.

I was gonna call him Bolder, but I didn’t know his Nature. Wish we could check that stuff before giving nicknames. Also, I kinda forgot to get a picture of the other Pokémon I caught: A Voltorb I named Bro-Orb. I’ll include it in the next part. lol

With that out of the way, and having taught Flash to Bro-Orb, I made my way into Rock Tunnel. Unfortunately, I had to go sans Buttery, since I figured the mass number of Rock-types in Rock Tunnel could end disastrously for her, so she missed out on some training. Will have to make this up to her later. Anyway, I ventured into Rock Tunnel and had Bro-Orb hit the Flash…and I swear, somedays, I feel like we depend on Pokémon hidden techniques far too often to get around. You give me a lamp with plenty of fuel to keep it lit, and I’ll make it through this tunnel with little to no difficulty. But yeah, new dungeon meant another battle montage!

Y’know, I don’t really feel like arguing cute Pokémon vs big ones. I get the points on either side. Still, I’m just gonna say this: In a Nuzlocke, where you’re taking on progressively stronger opponents and criticals can equal death? Go big. There’re exceptions, of course, but for the most part? Bigger is better.

And another Charmander! Kinda weird place to train one, though.

Actually, I have a friend who once cosplayed as Eevee. Was adorable. lol

Heh, funny you should mention that…

And I thought cats hated water. 😛

Something that’s always bugged me about dungeons in Pokémon: Other than Strength puzzles, there aren’t a lot of dungeons that have traditional RPG puzzle solving. That’s more saved for the Gyms. What’s up with that?

So, one or two members of my team learned new tricks in the dungeon…

…I think they may have been concerned that Milo was showing them up. lol

FIRE AWAY! 😀

Okay, gotta ask: Do ALL creepy perverts in the Pokémon world wear bright red and blue? Am I just wearing the wrong clothes or something?

… … … … … …

… … … …Screw it. Pokémon MMD clips, I need you again!

Thank you!

Umm… … …no. lol

Oh hey, it’s one of the missing Dudley Boyz! I guess Big Daddy Dudley had some ‘close friends’ in Kanto, too. XD

Anyway, that was pretty much my trip through Rock Tunnel in a nutshell. Although, that said, just before I got out and into Lavender Town…

…Yyyeah, despite Oswald and Drakeman’s best efforts, I think it’s safe to say that Milo was the MVP of this part. lol Also, while I’m gonna miss him finding items all the time, immunity to paralysis is gonna be great.

But yeah, with that, I safely made it to Lavender Town and rested up my team. Next time, I’ll be checking the town out before heading to Celadon City and gaining my fourth badge, but not before I get a couple of things done, like getting a shot of Bro-Orb. lol Ja né!

For reference, this was my team at the beginning of Part 5…

…and this is my team at the end of it. lol

What Did The Dream Sequence In Dawn Of Justice Mean? (NOTE – SPOILERS AND SPECULATION AHEAD) + Thoughts On Post-Rebirth Costumes

Before you ask, no, I haven’t seen the full movie of Batman v Superman. I do not intend to go see it, at least not in theaters. Now, if I see it on Netflix in a few months, I might very well decide to check it out. But, for now, I’m not going to go see it. That said, I DO know all the details of what happened in the movie, and given the overall tone of it that’s been relayed, I can safely say I was right to skip it. That said, I WILL admit to liking what I’ve seen and heard of Wonder Woman in the movie, and am actually a little interested to see how her own movie turns out. In fact, most people I’ve talked to about the movie claim that she’s the best part of it, although that could simply be because she doesn’t have top billing, and therefore Zack Snyder was less focused on draining the joy and fun from her character along with Superman and Batman…but that’s a story for another day.

Also, I don’t mind that Wonder Woman’s costume post-Rebirth is basically her movie costume with a somewhat brighter colour palette. At least she’s back in gold.

Instead, there’s something else I wanna speculate about from the movie: The dream sequence. Even if you’ve only seen the trailers, you probably know what I’m talking about. Basically, Batman has a dream of a dystopian future where the world’s gone to hell and Superman is evil. Now, when images relating to the scene came out, particularly one revealing a giant omega symbol in the ground and Parademons flying about, what I figured was going on was that Batman was getting visions of a future where Darkseid had invaded and taken over, but that his mind was getting the message mixed up, his paranoia instead painting Superman as the alien menace that will unleash this terror. However, it’s instead revealed in the movie that Batman is getting these visions from a time travelling Flash, who tells him that he was “right about him” and that “Lois is the key”, which indicates that Superman really WILL turn evil at some point…which might confuse some due to the ending, but trust me, it shouldn’t, at least if you know anything about Superman’s comic book history.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, don’t mind a similar choice to adapt the Man of Steel costume, but I prefer the design with the yellow belt and red boots. Just feels like it balances the colours out better.

So, what does it all mean? Well, remember this is all purely speculation on my part, based on my own theories, as well as those proposed by others who have seen the movie. Basically, they’re doing an odd hybrid of Injustice: Gods Among Us and Earth 2. What that means is that, at some point in the future, Lois Lane dies and it drives Superman to turn evil, but instead of being the evil dictator he is in Injustice, he’s instead an instrument of destruction under the control of Darkseid, albeit with his own lackey soldiers working for him. Clark’s continued remarks about how Lois is his world during DoJ seem to reinforce this theory. If I’m right, then what’ll happen is that Batman will realize that he needs to keep Lois from getting killed at some point in order to prevent Superman’s heel turn.

And what the hell, let’s talk about the new Batsuit. Ironically, Batman might be the most unnecessarily detailed of the three. And that’s not even saying I dislike the costume at all. Just a bit more detailed and colourful than I’m used to for the Dark Knight. That said, with his return, it was probably a good idea for him to make a stunning impression.

So yeah, that’s where I think this is going. Now, is this a good idea or not? Honestly, I’m a little sick of stories where Superman turns heel, but what about all of you? Lemme know what you think about this and the movie in general in the comments below, and we’ll see if I’m right in where this goes. Ja né!

SO glad they did away with the matching collars, by the way. I mean, I guess it would make sense if they were special Justice League uniforms meant to match up together, but it still feels silly.

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 4.2

My team at the beginning of this phase.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I arrived in Vermilion City, but in order to better ready myself both for the Trainers on the S.S. Anne and Lt. Surge, and to increase the number of pages in my Pokédex, I used my new VS Seeker to re-challenge Trainers I’d previously encountered for additional Experience in order to level up and evolve my team. This time, feeling ready for battle, I took my team to the S.S. Anne.

And for those wondering, who have never played these remakes of the original games, yes, the truck is still there, and NO, there is not a Mew under it…though you CAN find a Lava Cookie.

I quickly learned that, while the bulk of the party had ended, there were still a number of rowdy Trainers on board looking for battles. Feeling prepared, I took my team inside and unleashed hell upon the ship’s passengers and crew.

Wish I’d gotten a screenshot of this, but his Growlithe? First time I’ve ever seen Roar fail.

Yeah, I keep hearing about how Trainers on this ship found their Pokémon from all over the place, and yet I think I can count on one hand the number of Pokémon on this ship that you can’t catch or see up to this point.

Like this fellow, for example. ^_^

Or this one. Also, kinda surprised to see that this Tentacool could tank a Confusion as easily as it did. I think it only did like 50% of his HP, and then he smacked Buttery around for her lunch money for a few rounds before he finally went down.

Never has that been more true than in a Nuzlocke Challenge.

See now, this guy investigates Team Rocket from a luxury cruiser and barely gets anything done. If Looker was here with just a suitcase full of disguises, a single Pokémon, and a preteen sidekick, he’d have the organization on its knees by now. lol

Okay, who leaves a Hyper Potion just sitting around in a bucket??? o.O

So where’re Dewey and Louie? 😛 Also, gotta say, I prefer the older Sailor sprites. Made them look a lot more butch.

Oh God, could you imagine if there were only the first 100? There’d be only two Ice-types, seven Psychic-types, no Legendaries, no Eevee, Voltorb wouldn’t be able to evolve, and no Dragon-type Pokémon to speak of outside of Mega Charizard X. o.O

After a while, I managed to beat all the Trainers on board, so I decided to head to the Captain’s cabin, having heard that he was apparently some kind of sword-master who could teach Pokémon how to use Cut to go through branches blocking paths. However, as it turned out, I wasn’t the only one with that idea, as Tim was waiting for me on the way there and itching for a fight.

Okay, I know the idea is to make it seem like our Rival is WAY ahead of us, but I think if he had over 40 Pokémon, he wouldn’t have a team of FOUR.

*sigh* What could’ve been. I suppose I could always get an Abra at the Celadon Game Corner, though. Still, not like I could evolve it into Alakazam anyway…

Hey, you evolved your Starter Pokémon! And it only took you 3 badges and the majority of a lap around the western half of Kanto to do it. -_-

Anyway, having beaten Tim for…God, what is this? The fourth time now? And he’s still ahead of me? Whatever, I beat Tim and made my way into the captain’s cabin, where I-

OH, DEAR LORD, THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER! WEEZING, MUK, AND GARBODOR ARE RECOILING IN DISGUST OVER THAT!

Oh God, the things I do to earn badges…T_T

After much deliberation, I decided not to make Hank my Cut Slave, since that’d mean either grinding him up in levels too or risking his death. Trinity’s a much better choice for now.

Y’know, I get why the original games do this, but why is it, in FireRed and LeafGreen, are you forced to leave the port after the S.S. Anne leaves and can never return to get that Lava Cookie?

So, with Cut in hand, I headed back to the Pokémon Center to heal up and plan for the Gym. With the Trainers inside focusing on Electric-type Pokémon, most of my team would be at a severe disadvantage. As such, I decided to go in with Drakeman, Oswald, and Trinity. With preparations complete, I entered the Gym and took on the slew of Electric-types.

Seriously, how the hell is America canon in the Pokémon World when no other real world country seems to exist? O_O

I’m not even touching this one. 😛

Admittedly, Trinity did most of the heavy lifting in this Gym, but Drakeman and Oswald DID see their share of combat.

Admittedly, I kinda wish Surge’s Raichu was more like it was in the anime: Possessing powerful attacks but lacking any kind of defensive moves.

Three badges, baby! 😀

So, with my third Gym Badge finally obtained, I decided to heal up and call it a day. Next time, I’ll be heading through Diglett’s Cave to go back and get some previously unobtainable items before trekking through Rock Tunnel to get to Lavender Town. Ja né!

Also, I taught Milo Cut since Trinity is instead going to be a back-up Ground-type for Oswald.

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 4.1 (SPECIAL GRINDING EDITION!!!!)

I love these “previously on”‘s that the journal provides. ^_^

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I made my way up through Nugget Bridge and Routes 24 and 25, battling Tim Oak and the various Trainers along the way, caught some new Pokémon, met up with Bill, got a ticket to go to the party on the S.S. Anne, fought some Rockets up to no good, and managed to score the Cascade Badge from Misty. This time, I decided to head south to Vermilion City. Unfortunately, while I could’ve otherwise cut through Saffron City…

Danged dehydrated guards. -_-

…yeah, that was a thing. lol So, instead, I took the underground path and came out in Route 6, on the other side of Saffron, and battled my way through some Trainers.

Yeah, as a matter of fact, there are NO Bug-types on this Route.

Funny story: In Yellow version, these two are replaced by Joe and Giselle from the anime. 😛

… …Screw it, play the damn clip. XD

HEY, someone’s actually got an evolved Pokémon! 😀

…Okay, YOU are just cheating. Also, Jeff meets Camper Jeff. 😛

Anyway, to make a REALLY long story short, I made it to Vermilion City, healed up, went to the Pokémon Fan Club, listened to the chairman talk for God knows how long about his Rapidash in ways that STILL haunt me to this day, got the Bike Voucher, and traded it for a bike back in Cerulean. Afterward, I noticed that my overall Pokédex count was low (in terms of captures), and I realized why: Because I can only catch one Pokémon per Route, and the only other Pokédex pages are provided by gift Pokémon and evolving them and the Pokémon I catch. Unfortunately, battling wild Pokémon and once-off Trainers for experience meant filling up my Pokédex enough to get the items that Professor Oak’s aides have would take FOREVER. On top of that, I also wasn’t feeling great about my levels going into S.S. Anne and battling Surge. Luckily…

YOU GOT A THIIIIINNNG!

…YEAH. So, after catching the Pokémon found in the surrounding area…

Milo and Otis reference, AND I used to sort-of have a cat named Milo. Really, it was a neighbour’s cat, but he liked us more. lol

Get it? Edge? He’s a SPEARow?

THIS bitch almost killed Buttery. It was SO close, I thought for sure she was about to be killed. O_O

…I decided to go about training by battling Trainers and then having rematches via the VS Seeker. However, what ended up happening was that I took SOOOOOO many photos of me grinding levels. So, with that said, here’s a quick rundown of some of the highlights. ^_^

My boy! 😀

Why can’t you be like that other Bug Catcher and have an evolved Pokémon?

Came prepared for you this time, asshole!

NOT how I meant!

Okay, Santanico doesn’t have Intimidate, thank goodness, because there’s NO WAY it should’ve worked here had she.

Butterfree’s actually REALLY good at the Para-fusion combo, and the only reason Buttery doesn’t use it is because…I’m going for something else. 🙂

I was expecting this battle to be a little closer, to be honest.

Not sure, but I think this might be the first case of seeing a Fire-type so far.

Anyway, after a while of that, I was rewarded with the following:

Also, since he’s not a mandrake anymore, I think I’ll be renaming him when I reach Lavender Town.

Pretty sure Edge just replaced Damian on my team, but of course, I’ll keep Damian as a back-up Flying-type and an HM Slave for when I get HM 02.

With all that done, I finally decided to return to Vermilion and head to the S.S. Anne. So, sorry this article turned out to basically be one big grind session, but I figured I’d include it just for funsies, and so that you know just how much time was put into preparing. Anyway, be sure to check in next time for Part 4.2 as I take on the S.S. Anne. Ja né!

The results of my training. A shame Milo won’t get Limber until evolving, because he’d otherwise be great for the Vermilion City Gym.

Early Predictions/Desires For #DCRebirth – The Justice League And Related Characters

So, I’ve talked about some things I’d like to see from DC Rebirth back before we knew really ANYTHING about it, and I gave general thoughts on the books announced to be part of DC’s new line-up during Rebirth and beyond. Now, it’s time to look at the individual books announced and/or characters involved and talk about what I either expect to see happen as part of this movement to bring back the elements of the books and their characters we and the creators love. Keep in mind, I might’ve discussed some of this already in the aforementioned articles, so I may be repeating a few points. Still, let’s start off with…well, a book I’m a little disappointed to hear something about…And by a little disappointed, I mean my first words upon hearing about it were, and I quote, “SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKINGSHITMASSAGINGCOCKGRINDINGMONKEYFACEDCLOWNFART!!!“…I might’ve overreacted slightly. lol

Justice League

Then again, though, when you consider the quality of Geoff Johns and Jason Fabok’s work as of late with Justice League, can you really blame me for that reaction? Well, regardless, with Justice League and Justice League America, what I would recommend doing is having both books be about different groupings of the same team. Like, one book could focus on the original big seven of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter (who I am hoping to God is returning to the League now that his book is ending), and the other can focus on some of the newer members, like Shazam, Cyborg, Jessica Cruz, Mister Miracle, and Big Barda. I’ve actually heard for a while now that there might’ve been a planned crossover between Justice League and JLA, but unless they had this planned with whoever was taking over for Johns, I don’t see that happening right away. And frankly, I’m a little sick of books doing crossovers before they hit 12 issues anyway, so holding off on that might be in order.

Batman

Assuming he retains the memory of it from the events of The Darkseid War, something tells me that a future arc of the new Batman title might revolve around him looking for the Joker now that he knows his identity. I just can’t imagine him gaining ahold of that information and not wanting to use it to maybe put an end to the Joker’s threat before anyone else gets hurt. Still, I’m a bit…leery of that idea. See, for me, the Joker works best when you DON’T know all the details of who he really is and what his past was like, and I can’t imagine DC actually going through with that. As Joker himself once put it, “If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice”. Then again, they’re apparently telling his back-story in the TV show Gotham, which I dislike for various reasons on top of that, so who knows? Like I’ve said before, though, I hope that they decide to make Joker a little more fun in the future. He’s more than capable of being a terrifying villain AND the occasional goofy clown. Other than that, since I don’t see any books involving Robin in the line-up thus far, one has to wonder what’s to become of Damian and the members of We Are Robin, in particular Duke Thomas. Will Damian become Bruce’s full-time partner again in one of the Batman books, or will he step aside and become his own individual while Duke takes his place? Or perhaps Duke will instead take on the identity of Lark, like in one of Bruce’s nightmare scenarios brought on by the Scarecrow’s fear toxin? And what of Jim Gordon? Will he continue to take up the mantle of the All-New Batman? Only time will tell for sure, but we’ll talk more about Batman’s supporting cast and related characters later.

Superman

So, after the newest issue of Action Comics, it looks as though Superman is no longer dying. I could be wrong, but that appears to be the case. He’s also been fully revitalized. So, doesn’t look like the Super League is being built as a possible replacement for the Man of Steel. However, I would be willing to suggest that he’s instead putting it together due to the events where his powers were drained, his identity was leaked, and so on, and that there’d need to be someone who could stand in for him if something like that should ever happen again. Speaking of, though, I’ve got this sneaky suspicion that the public may not remember that Clark Kent and Superman are one in the same post-Rebirth. Why? Well, like I mentioned before, the Spyral satellite has the ability to remove the public’s knowledge of Dick Grayson being Nightwing, which is likely how he’ll return to the role as I’ll get into when I talk about him. If I were one of the heads at DC and decided that Clark’s secret identity being exposed was not a good idea for the long-term, that seems like it’d be a good way out of it. With that said, though, if I may make a request, if that happens and they do that…?

Lois Lane

Keep Lois’ memories of the ordeal intact. This isn’t even me wanting to see Lois and Clark as a couple again (although I do, a LOT), but simply because ever since she found out Clark Kent is Superman, she’s been even more actively involved in stories, for better or worse. Married or unmarried, couple or friends, ultimately, I think history has proven that there are more stories that can be told with her in the know about Clark being Superman than with her being kept out of the loop. But, with that said…yeah, I really do wanna see them together again, especially since the book about the pre-Flashpoint Lois and Clark is ending. In fact, who knows? Maybe they’ll do some kinda merger thing where the Superman and Lois Lane of both worlds blend into one, and both become a balance of their counterparts? Not sure where that leaves little Jonathan, but it could happen. But, for that to happen, obviously, something’s gotta go…

Wonder Woman

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s time to call it quits on the Superman and Wonder Woman relationship. Above all else, the reason I’m just plain sick of it is because the two are rarely, if ever, treated like equals when it comes to their relationship. Wonder Woman is pretty much just Superman’s girlfriend in a lot of stories they’re presented in as a couple. Beyond that, my standard requests are as follows: Restore the Amazons to the compassionate protectors of mankind, and for the love of God, pants or no pants, I don’t care anymore, just give us a brighter colour scheme for Diana. In fact, I’d actually be fine with the design Jason Fabok uses for her in Justice League, but with gold instead of silver. Also, I keep hearing that the movie will be rebooting to the old school Etta Candy, and if I can make a suggestion? Do the same in the comics. You don’t necessarily have to undo making her black. Hell, you don’t even need to make her as overweight as the original. Just something similar, and above all else, make Etta the ninja tackling badass sidekick I remember.

Aquaman

…Okay, not really much to say about Aquaman, other than it’s great to see him back to his old look and kicking ass like normal. I will say, though, that the writers really need to make up their minds as to whether he’s gonna be King of Atlantis or not for the foreseeable future, though. No, my biggest concern for the Aquaman books is something…different.

Mera

…OH, GOOD GOD, WHY?! I got into a little bit of a rant about this on Twitter when I saw this, as you can read here. Suffice to say, no. Absolutely not. Whatever the writers of Aquaman are thinking, NO! BAD writers! Don’t make her Aquawoman. You make her Aquawoman, and I will violently murder the first fish I see. Oh, and just saying this? If they DO make Arthur King of Atlantis again, can we PLEASE have these two be officially married again? Or maybe they already have been when I wasn’t looking, I don’t know, but if they aren’t, please don’t listen to Dan, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about when it comes to superheroes being married, especially with these two. It makes no sense for them to not be married when all evidence points to her having served in the capacity of Queen of Atlantis at Arthur’s side at least at one point. Also, I’m sorry, but one of these days, we gotta make Mera an official member of the Justice League. How many times does she have to accompany them and their various divisions into action and show just how easily she stands among them before she’s given a seat?

The Flash

Again, not a lot to say about The Fastest Man Alive, other than that I hope that this whole mess involving him being Central City’s most wanted and being hunted by the Rogues doesn’t last long. I AM interested to see what role he plays with Rebirth, however. As Geoff Johns himself has pointed out, nearly every time there’s been a massive change to the universe, a Flash (usually Barry) was at the center of it. Speaking of, I wonder if we’ll ever get follow-up on exactly why Pandora used Barry to reboot the universe at the end of Flashpoint. The whole thing about Pandora’s Box being the reason seems kinda minor when you consider what that turned out to be. I mean, she really needed to reboot the universe just so we can get a Boom Tube that led to Earth 3? But yeah, once again, my bigger concern is with a certain other Flash…

Wally West

Seriously, I don’t care if he’s black, white, yellow, red, purple, green, or fuchsia, we need the FUN Wally West back. The Wally West who is cracking jokes and being the far more fun-loving Flash. And I don’t care if he’s The Flash, Kid Flash, Impulse, whatever, it’s time to pull the trigger on him suiting up and working with Barry. With that said, a lot of people were against the new costume we saw him in during the whole Future’s End tie-in, but honestly, I thought he looked good. The silver DOES stand out in a very dramatic way and makes him look very distinct from the other Flashes.

Green Lantern

Again, I’d kinda like to see Hal Jordan and John Stewart, and maybe even the other Earth-born Lanterns rotate on the Justice League and JLA. Beyond that, though, I get the feeling that Jessica Cruz will be switching out the Ring of Volthoom from Earth 3 for a Green Lantern Ring. There WAS a silhouette of a female Green Lantern in the image for Rebirth, and Jessica seems like the logical candidate. And frankly, I would just be happy to see her conquer her fear and give Volthoom the boot. Still, kinda hope her Green Lantern costume, if I’m correct, incorporates some elements of her Power Ring costume. Oh, and can we PLEASE have a sense of stability in the Green Lantern Corps for at least a year? I don’t think I even need to point this out, but life has been hell for the Corps as of the past few years. The Guardians finally came out as evil, there’s been a shit-ton of members dying left and right, they got better Guardians who still managed to screw the pooch in the end, and now most of them have been banished to another dimension or some shit. But as for Hal himself…he’s gotta lose the jacket. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t work for him. To be honest, when he and Parallax had their fight recently, Hal looked more like a villain than Parallax did…y’know, until Parallax pulled the whole fangs thing, which still looks fucking stupid. lol

Martian Manhunter

What in the HELL is going on in J’onn’s comics as of late?!?! No, seriously, someone please explain this shit to me! It turned out he was a bio-engineered weapon the Martians were going to use to take over Earth, and that he was hiding that for years, and that might’ve been why he was kicked outta the League during the gap between the first two story arcs of Justice League, but he doesn’t wanna hurt anyone, but he’s not willing to stop the plan, but then he wants to die, and then he does die, but somehow he’s got different aspects of himself that converge into a new Martian Manhunter, who looks…well, I’m not gonna say BAD. In fact, as far as radical redesigns go, at least this keeps some aspects of the old look intact. But still, he tries at first to lead the martian invasion, but then he decides not to, and now he’s got some kinda giant mech, which is both awesome and stupid, I don’t even know, and oh God, my head… … … …So yeah, please DC, just put him back on the Justice League and scale this nonsense down a bit. I had to check my ear a second ago just to make sure there wasn’t blood seeping from my brain and out there from all that.

Cyborg

Okay, is it just me, or does the storyline of the government being untrusting of Cyborg actually make WAY more sense than when they do the same thing with Superman? Maybe it’s because we’ve seen that Vic’s control CAN be overrode, and thus it’s less about trusting that he’s a good guy, but rather concern that it could happen again, especially when he can be plugged into EVERYTHING. Plus, there’s the whole matter of Victor having cybernetic enhancements to benefit him after he lost most of his body, and yet amputees have to deal with ordinary prosthetic parts that don’t work even a tenth as good. I’m not saying everyone should be decked out with his stuff, and it was established from the beginning that the tech used to make him into Cyborg was experimental and very easily could’ve backfired. And yeah, none of this is actually Victor’s fault, he’s just as much a victim in this as anyone else. Still, I can at least understand the conflict here WAY more, and if they wanna continue with that arc post-Rebirth, I wouldn’t mind. However, I WOULD suggest maybe adding more to his rogues gallery. We need his version of the Joker or Lex Luthor, someone who is his opposite in nearly every way, but can challenge him on an equal footing despite his natural advantages.

Shazam

If I haven’t made it abundantly clear by now, allow me to do so: I HATE THIS VERSION OF CAPTAIN MARVEL! And a big part of why I hate him all revolves around the mass changes to Billy Batson. He was supposed to be a sweet, innocent, giving, and (for the most part) selfless individual. It was why he was chosen to gain the powers of Shazam. But when we meet him in THIS universe, he’s a little punk shithead who cons people and is mean to his adoptive family for no reason other than he wants to be! And even after all that, when he finally becomes Shazam and learns more about being a hero, he STILL acts like a little twerp who swears a lot to sound adult and cool, which is at its most jarring when he’s transformed into Shazam, has the wisdom of Solomon, and therefore should know better! But then, I KNOW why they made those changes. It’s the exact same reason they made so many changes to Superman: It was to make him SO much more identifiable and realistic. But, just like with Superman, it was done in a manner so poorly that he no longer resembles the hero he once was in any way. Hell, he doesn’t even have the same NAME! Seriously, DC, if you are serious about this, look back at what made the old Captain Marvel a beloved character and try reintroducing those elements.

Anyway, that’s all when it comes to the Justice League. Check back in next time when I look at the Bat Family and what I hope and/or expect to see become of Nightwing, Batgirl, and the returning Birds of Prey. Ja né!

My Thoughts On The DC Rebirth Line-Up

Yeah, this is kinda late, but I thought I’d wait at least a little bit to see what news emerged before giving my thoughts on the current line-up. There were a lot of rumours going into Rebirth, namely what exactly it was. Another complete universal reboot, a soft reboot, a changed line-up to better reflect the shows and movies going right now, etc. In the end, though, what it appears to be is basically taking the concept of books like Green Lantern Rebirth and The Flash Rebirth and applying it to the DC Universe as a whole, as Geoff Johns explains here:

So, it doesn’t seem to be a universal reboot, but rather a soft reboot to reintroduce certain aspects of the characters that we love, as well as re-establish certain other heroes. We can go more in-depth about what that might entail, as well as the cryptic words of the mysterious narrator, later, though. For now, let’s just look at the actual line-up of books that have been confirmed thus far, which looks like this:

June:
Rebirth Specials:
• AQUAMAN REBIRTH #1
• BATMAN REBIRTH #1
• THE FLASH REBIRTH #1
• GREEN ARROW REBIRTH #1
• GREEN LANTERNS REBIRTH #1
• SUPERMAN REBIRTH #1
• TITANS REBIRTH #1
• WONDER WOMAN REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• AQUAMAN #1
• BATMAN #1
• THE FLASH #1
• GREEN ARROW #1
• GREEN LANTERNS #1
• SUPERMAN #1
• WONDER WOMAN #1

New Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• ACTION COMICS #957
• DETECTIVE COMICS #934

July
Rebirth Specials:
• BATGIRL & THE BIRDS OF PREY REBIRTH #1
• HAL JORDAN & THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS REBIRTH #1
• THE HELLBLAZER REBIRTH #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE REBIRTH #1
• NIGHTWING REBIRTH #1
• RED HOOD & THE OUTLAWS REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• HAL JORDAN & THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE #1
• NIGHTWING #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping monthly):
• BATGIRL #1
• BATGIRL & THE BIRDS OF PREY #1
• THE HELLBLAZER #1
• RED HOOD & THE OUTLAWS #1
• THE SUPER-MAN #1
• TITANS #1

Fall
Rebirth Specials:
• BATMAN BEYOND REBIRTH #1
• BLUE BEETLE REBIRTH #1
• CYBORG REBIRTH #1
• DEATHSTROKE REBIRTH #1
• EARTH 2 REBIRTH #1
• SUICIDE SQUAD REBIRTH #1
• SUPERGIRL REBIRTH #1
• TEEN TITANS REBIRTH #1
• TRINITY REBIRTH #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping twice monthly):
• CYBORG #1
• DEATHSTROKE #1
• HARLEY QUINN #1
• JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA #1
• SUICIDE SQUAD #1

New #1 Issues (Shipping monthly):
• BATMAN BEYOND #1
• BLUE BEETLE #1
• EARTH 2 #1
• GOTHAM ACADEMY: NEXT SEMESTER #1
• SUPERGIRL #1
• SUPERWOMAN #1
• SUPER SONS #1
• TEEN TITANS #1
• TRINITY #1

…So, let’s go over my thoughts for now about some of the announced books, starting with…

The Superman Books

Looks like the Superman titles are undergoing a major revamp. While Action Comics is going back to its old numbering, Supergirl is returning with her own title (about time), and we’re also getting the new books Superwoman, Super Sons, and The Super-Man. If I had to take a guess, and I suppose at this point that’s all I can do, I’d wager that this all has to do with the upcoming Super League storyline that’ll wrap up the current Superman titles, with Superman enlisting several other superheroes as a team of Supermen (and Superwomen, it seems). Why is he doing this? Well, recently, Superman was able to regain his powers, but at a price, and he’s potentially dying, so he might be trying to pull a Batman and have the Super League act as a contingency should something happen to him and the world still needs Superman. Also, Batman/Superman and Superman/Wonder Woman seem to be getting dropped in favour of a Trinity book, which I am 100% okay with, especially since both books have been telling the same story as the other Super titles anyway. Might as well just put all three in a single title where they all get top billing. Also, I can’t help but notice that Superman: Lois And Clark is disappearing, but I’ve heard that the pre-Flashpoint Superman who appears in that book will both be involved in the Super League story as well as Rebirth, so not crossing them out just yet. Lastly, the one book that got me to raise an eyebrow most in this whole line-up was “The Super-Man”. However, I’ve since been directed to a cover for Justice League #51, where Lex Luthor is shown to be in a Superman-esque costume. Perhaps an attempt to cast Lex Luthor as the evil Superman that was originally conceived before Action Comics #1? We’ll see. Oh, and just saying, PLEASE DC, put Superman in a costume that at least balances out the three colours better. There’s just too much blue and not enough yellow in this equation.

The Batman Books

I’m a bit interested to see where Batman goes now that he’s been back from the dead…again. lol I mean, the last time he came back, he created Batman Incorporated. Right now, it feels like a similar idea isn’t far off, with Jim Gordon apparently keeping his Batsuit, Batgirl starting a new Birds of Prey team, and Dick Grayson evidently going back to being Nightwing. And, if you’re confused about that, well…Batman And Robin Eternal #20 kinda revealed that Helena Bertinelli set it up to where Spyral’s orbital little satellite has the ability to make everyone forget about his unmasking and ‘death’ in Forever Evil, thus allowing him to go back to his old life if he so chose. And, I gotta admit, when I first heard about that, it actually sounded like an intriguing moral and ethical dilemma: Should Dick use this technology, essentially mind wiping the entire planet’s population, so he can go back to being Nightwing? Or should he continue to work for a group of secret agents who are CONSTANTLY bending the rules of what is and isn’t ethically sound or legal in order to get the job done? It’s not an easy situation to figure out… … …Too bad I know for a fact that they’re not gonna explore it much and instead it looks like he’s just gonna flip the switch and damn the consequences. I’m not saying that’s necessarily WRONG, just…kinda feels like the easy way out. Frankly, at this point, I just hope they put him back in blue this time around. I’m also interested to see what Batgirl And The Birds Of Prey will be like, and I kinda hope that Gail Simone ends up writing it eventually. Ask nearly anyone, and they’ll tell you that Birds of Prey was at its best when Gail was writing it. No sign of a Robin book yet, which is a little concerning, and it looks as though Gotham Academy is continuing on. And lastly, yeah, I remember what my initial reaction was to Red Hood And The Outlaws coming back, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that, as long as that book is around, it keeps Scott Lobdell away from anything I actually CARE about. 😛

The Justice League Books

SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKINGSHITMASSAGINGCOCKGRINDINGMONKEYFACEDCLOWNFART!!! Just when Justice League had become AMAZING, Johns and Fabok are both off the book! Didn’t I specifically say I wanted them to stay on the book going into Rebirth?!…Well, hopefully, Fabok can find work on one of the other titles. I’m personally hoping for Wonder Woman, because I fucking love how he draws her. Speaking of, I’ve been hearing rumours (so take this with a grain of salt) that Marguerite Bennett could be the new writer for Wonder Woman, which is actually funny because she’s Scott Snyder’s old pupil, and I was requesting Scott Snyder’s Wonder Woman a while ago, so…Yeah. lol Anyway, Justice League of America is apparently just gonna be Justice League America…’kay. Why we can’t just call it JLA, I dunno.

The Titans Books

So, I’m guessing that since there are two Titans books right now, Teen Titans and Titans Hunt, and there are two Titans books post-Rebirth, Teen Titans and just plain Titans, that plain Titans is probably gonna be about Dick Grayson, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, and the other older Titans. With any luck, we’ll see Starfire join that team, since her book is ending (not cancelled, though, as it was apparently always planned for 12 issues), and otherwise, I fear she might end up going back to RHATO, which I would LOATHE. Other than that, not much else to discuss.

Everything Else

Like I said earlier, the team of Marguerite Bennett and Jason Fabok on Wonder Woman would be awesome if it comes to be. The silhouettes for the official image for Rebirth suggest the return of Wally West as Kid Flash, which could prove interesting for The Flash, and there looks to be a female Green Lantern, which could be Jessica Cruz, and after recent events with the Green Lantern Corps, they could use the new recruits who are already a little experienced with Power Rings. It’s looking like Earth 2 might be reverting back to a more traditional look and feel, especially if I’m right about who that is second from the left behind the curtain of the Rebirth image. And I couldn’t help but notice both Ted Kord and Jaime Reyes appeared in the video, so seeing that there’s a Blue Beetle comic involved raises some questions, like are they going to be working as a duo of sorts. And Hellblazer…Look, I don’t really care about Constantine. I find him to be a major horse’s ass, personally speaking. But, I know a lot of people DO care, and were pissed when his show got cancelled rather quickly, so I will say that I’m glad those people are getting their fill of Constantine, both with this comic and with his appearances in Arrow. Oh, and lastly, I’ve heard that Rebirth will apparently include what Dan Didio calls his most controversial moment ever…Dear God, save me. -_-

Anyway, those are my thoughts so far. If anything else comes up that I’m personally invested in, I’ll go ahead and give my thoughts on it. Be sure to leave your own thoughts below, and we’ll see what goes on from now ’til June. Ja né!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Oh yeah, and expect a How To Drop The Ball In Comics: The New 52 in June. ^_^

The Future of the Justice Leagues? What I’d Do With The Teams Following Forever Evil (WARNING – SPOILERS FOR TRINITY WAR)

So it’s been a while since I talked about what I’d do with the New 52 given certain situations, but this one just kinda hit me now. As most of us know, following Trinity War, there’ll be a massive event called Forever Evil. According to solicits for DC Comics in September and October, the Trinity War will end with the “deaths” of the Justice League, Justice League of America, and Justice League Dark, along with nearly all of their members, with the Secret Society of Evil going on a rampage and taking over the world in the absence of the world’s greatest heroes. Now of course, we can kinda gather that this’ll likely turn out to be a ruse of some sort by the Justice Leagues to take down the villains all at once, or that they’re simply put out of commission temporarily and find a way to return to action. Still, it makes one wonder what exactly will be the shape of these three teams following the event.

My personal vote, if it had any meaning whatsoever? I’d say have the Leagues come together to be three distinct teams of a single Justice League. They would continue working as they have been, with the Justice League operating as the #1 response team to the biggest threats to the world, the JLA as the government controlled team, and the JLD as the response team to supernatural threats, but they would also be actively assisting each other wherever possible. Heck, they could even change-up certain members, even add a couple to their ranks, then form a sort of counsel of one or two members from each team to form a leadership role for the group on a whole.

So who would I move where? Well, for starters, I think I’d move Zatanna back to the JLD for the purpose of being its team leader (because I can’t frakking stand Constantine), possibly bring Element Woman with her, bring Amethyst back to the team, and if it turns out that Doctor Light is still alive, I’d move him there too. Also, if he isn’t already, I’d make Swamp Thing a full member. I’d probably swap Cyborg and Martian Manhunter between the teams, as well as Firestorm and The Atom (remember, The Atom is a spy from the JLA right now). Finally, provided she can get away from the DOA, I’d put Batwoman on the JLA, maybe bringing along Goldrush, and I’d finally bring back Hal Jordan to the Justice League, have Shazam stay on the team, and possibly bring Vixen to the team.

I swear to God, DC, if you kill Dick Grayson…

So, with all that said, the teams would look like this…

Justice League

Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Hal Jordan, The Flash, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, The Atom, Shazam, and Vixen

Justice League of America

Steve Trevor, Green Arrow, Katana, Hawkman, Catwoman, Vibe, Simon Baz, Cyborg, Stargirl, Firestorm, and Goldrush

Justice League Dark

Zatanna, Constantine, Frankenstein, Deadman, Madame Xanadu, Swamp Thing, Doctor Light, Element Woman, and Amethyst

…Anyway, that’s just my thoughts. Lemme know what you think below, and I will see y’all next time. Ja né!

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Interesting News on the Trinity War

So BuzzFeed apparently got to have a little talk with Geoff Johns (writer of Justice League and Justice League of America) and Jeff Lemire (writer of Justice League Dark) over the phone. The topic? The summer crossover event Trinity War.

For those that don’t know, be it you were hiding in a cave or have amnesia, Trinity War is a massive event where the three Justice Leagues are fighting each other. So basically, nearly every annual Marvel event for the past several years, wherein the good guys fight each other. But hey, this is just three books a month for two months, not including the tie-ins that’ll occur in Trinity of Sin: Pandora, Trinity of Sin: The Phantom Stranger, and Constantine, so not complaining too much. Also, apparently Zatanna joins the Justice League, so clearly it’s not all bad.

Oh, and she’s also getting her more traditional costume back, THANK GOD.

Anyway, the name ‘Trinity War’ has a few different meaning. It relates to the three Justice Leagues, it relates to the Trinity of Sin (Pandora, The Phantom Stranger, and The Question), and it relates to DC’s Trinity (Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman). The plot will revolve around the plans and schemes of the three members of the Trinity of Sin, it will revolve around a murder that occurs near the beginning (which I think is the person who dies in Justice League of America, not sure), it will revolve around the JLA learning of their existence as a fail-safe against the Justice League, and it will revolve around the relationship between Superman and Wonder Woman.

Speaking of that last bit, Geoff Johns had something interesting to say after being asked Wonder Woman and Superman would make it through this story with their relationship intact…

And I quote…

“I think the bigger question is will you see any of these characters make it through. The thing about Wonder Woman and Superman is when their relationship ends, it’s going to end badly. There is no good way for this one to end. And then there’s other concerns. When those two start acting out together, people get nervous. Not because they don’t think they’re heroes, but because they have such incredible power, and who could stop those two?”

Now, I’m aware I’m not the first to take note and make mention of something in that paragraph, but I felt like adding my two-cents. You’ll notice he said “when their relationship ends”. Not if, WHEN. I have a question: Was the plan always to split them up here, or were the complaints just getting to be too much? Also, please dear God tell me that this means Diana is gonna stay single for a while. Don’t pair her up with Orion, because since the reboot, Orion’s kinda bugged me, especially given what happened recently in her book. You remember…

Yeah. That. Funny story, in the most recent issue of Wonder Woman, she decided to get back at him, BY ALMOST CRUSHING HIS BALLS IN HER FIST. Now, a lot of people were just as offended by this as they were THAT. Me personally, I choose to take it as a sign not to mess with Wonder Woman like that, as if we needed one.

So that’s all for now, and here’s hoping that Trinity War will at least be decent. Ja né!