Well, for anyone who misses when I used to tell stupid stories about my own mistakes and misfortune, you get your wish today, as we look to one of my own, and very recent…
…Yeah, gimme a second here, I need to get my story straight. You’ll recall the other day I reported on a story posted by International Business Times involving a man who apparently died after having sex with a hornet’s nest and getting stung to death by said nest’s inhabitants. Naturally, I was kind of in shock that such a thing could happen, that I may have overlooked a couple of details in the story that makes the following statement by IBT seem kind of obvious…
“Unfortunately it turned out the story was a fake from a satirical news website in Sweden called Nyheterna Sverige, which was kindly pointed out by a number of our readers. The original story was spawned from animal rights campaigners who were worried about the well-being of hornets. However, the joke got lost in translation – as well the names of those involved. The neighbour’s name translates to erection and the fetish expert is called genital.”
So yeah, whole thing was a hoax. I probably should’ve figured that out, especially given the line about how he’d never seen a pelvic bone so swollen before. Now naturally, I assumed he meant the muscle AROUND the pelvic bone since, guess what, BONES DON’T SWELL. However, looking back on it, if they’d meant the muscle around the pelvic bone, they would’ve just said so. So yeah, my bad. The good news in all this, though, is that nobody’s dead, so I don’t have to feel bad about my comments.
…While we’re on the subject, though, I don’t find the joke all that funny. And no, it’s not because I fell for it, I think someone who makes fun of themselves as often as I do would be okay with that. I just feel that this wasn’t all that funny. It honestly comes off as gross-out humour used specifically for the fact that they couldn’t think of anything better. Sorry, that’s just how I feel.
But yeah, I still reported on a story that turned out to be false, and for that, I apologise. But hey, gave me something to make fun of myself with, so I guess it wasn’t a complete waste. Ja né!
- Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest *HOAX* (dreamindemon.com)
- For airheads, a stinging message about sex (uppercaise.wordpress.com)
- Nest of Lies (snopes.com)
Well, this week, PinkRangerWannabe went out on the world-wide interweb, found a horrible story, and brought it back here for a little segment I like to call…
And yes, I actually have a reason for parodying the intro to WTFIWWY?, for if today’s story was on that show, this would be the part where Tara would say “THAT DOESN’T GO THERE!” Now, before we get into this story, I want to make it clear that I’m not generally the type to find amusement in death, regardless of person or cause. Death is tragic and should not be taken so lightly. So I don’t want anyone to think I find the fact that this person died funny. Rather, I simply want to call into question the intelligence level on this man who did this…
Today, it was announced by the International Business Times that a man in Sweden had died after being stung to death by hornets…because, according to the autopsy and evidence left behind, he was attempting to have sex with the hornet’s nest. No, I do not have photos. And no, I do not know if any exist, because I don’t want to know. Apparently the 35-year-old had been stung so badly (reportedly 146 times) that when his neighbour found him, he was so swollen that his neighbour thought he was a whale carcass. Again, not making fun. That is what was actually reported. Oh, but here’s the kicker, folks: A psychologist and expert on sex fantasies, Siv During Livh, told the news site…
“To Attempt To Have Intercourse With A Hornet’s Nest Is A Very Bad Idea.” NAWWWW! And here I thought maybe sticking one’s dick in a hornet’s nest would open the door to Kingdom Hearts! I don’t know what’s dumber, the fact that this person actually made that statement like most rational thinking people wouldn’t already know that, or that apparently there is a fetish for that. And I know, there’s some freaky fetishes out there, but this has to be one of the dumbest that ANYONE could have, because unless your intent is to die, it’s not gonna fucking work!
Oh, and this is REALLY good. Apparently the neighbour reported that he’d never seen a pelvic bone so swollen in his entire life…Um, I’m sorry, but there is no way to hear that sentence and not want to immediately ask the obvious question, “How many swollen pelvic bones have you seen in your life?”.
Believe it or not, folks, I’m trying SO hard not to make fun of this man, but it’s kinda hard when THIS was the exact conversation Pink and I had when she brought this up…
PinkRangerWannabe: Give the man a Darwin award.
Jyger85: ………………………………………………….What the heck? o.O
Anyway, I’m sorry if I crossed some lines with this story, but I honestly am just not sure what to make of this one. Hit me back with your own thoughts, and hopefully we won’t have a story quite this idiotic again in a long time. Ja né!