Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Favourite Scenes From Superhero Tales (WARNING – SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTING AHEAD)

Well, I WAS gonna save this for the 1 Year Anniversary of my own little brand of superheroes, but I got impatient, so I decided to go ahead with this now and do something different for the 1 Year Anniversary. If you haven’t been reading, Superhero Tales is a series of stories on DeviantArt for my own original superheroes and superheroines, from their perspectives as they go about their lives. There are characters like the Green Defender, a man who is infused with an advanced form of electricity called green voltage, Starslip, a teenage girl who can alter her molecular structure to turn intangible or harder than steel (and recently phased out of her closet), Zenith Woman, a stranded alien from a race of warrior women who protect the universe, and a group of heroes called The Hexagon, which teams Green Defender and Zenith Woman with four of the greatest superheroes in the world.

Green Defender, The Bard, Jack’d, Zenith Woman, Strix, and Outrun

Now, since I like to keep a good sense of humour in the midst of an often-times tragic and scary world, naturally I tend to do so in my writing, and Superhero Tales is no different. And while I get that it can be somewhat egotistical to spend time laughing at my own shtick, sometimes I just write out something so ridiculous that I can’t help myself. Plus, let’s be honest, I’m no stranger to self-promoting, so why not here? So, with all that said, let’s take a look at five of my favourite scenes from my stories, and just so you know, SPOILERS for anyone who hasn’t been reading much of what has happened as of late.

#1 – Jack’s Prayer from The Hexagon #10

Jack’d is kind of an enigma. You never know exactly what he’s going to say or do in situations, he has powers that cannot be logically explained, and he has an irrational fear of monsters from outer space, which is odd for a guy who fights zombies on a regular basis. So, in this scene from The Hexagon #10, as they were fighting alien plant monsters called Botanical Aberrations while speeding around a city in a buggy, THIS was his reaction, as witnessed by The Bard from the back-seat.

“Dear Lord, I am aware of the fact that my powers are likely satanic in some way, shape, or form,” I hear Jack’d pray in the shotgun seat while hurling flash paper fireballs at the worms. “But if you could do me a favour and spare my life, I would be VERY much appreciative!”

There’s just something hilarious to me about a horrific-looking chaos mage praying to God in situations like this. Kinda dark, I guess, but funny nonetheless.

#2 – The AT4W References from Green Defender #4

Say, have I mentioned that I kinda like the show Atop The Fourth Wall? Okay, okay, put the weapons down! Yes, I’ve paid homage to my reviewer role-model, Linkara, and his comic book review show on a number of occasions…and naturally, in a series about superheroes, how could I possibly resist making a reference to him in Green Defender #4? Now, there were actually two in this particular chapter, but this one is my favourite.

It’s been two nights since the Greene murder as I weave between cars on the Emeraptor. The streets have been somewhat quiet, save for a break-in at a corner store and one moron who actually tried to pose as an internet celebrity and get free comic books for his ‘status’. I wouldn’t have even needed to get involved, but I was in the area, and the man was claiming to be armed. Not so much.

And for the record, I have yet to explain where that man purchased his not-so-magic gun. I’m saving that for a DVD exclusive. 😉

#3 – The Bard’s Disliking of Truth or Dare from Starslip #6

Okay, this one might not actually make a ton of sense as to why I find it particularly funny, but just bear with me as we look at this scenario play out before Starslip.

“Well actually, since we got more than two people…” Olette says with an almost evil smirk, pulling out an empty bottle.

“Oh no, NOT Truth or Dare!” Bard cries desperately.

“Oh, come now,” Maple replies, “it should be fun.”

“EVERYTIME I have EVER played Truth or Dare with you, you have dared me to do increasingly embarrassing acts,” Bard accuses. “First it was the hair dye, then it was wearing that horribly extravagant dress, then it was singing Never Gonna Give You Up at that bar when the people there were just BEGGING for an excuse for a fight to break out.”

“We escaped, didn’t we?” Maple reasons as both myself and Olette are ready to die laughing.

Now here’s the reason why: The Bard is actually based heavily off of N. Harmonik, who is also my spellchecker, and I know for a fact that she doesn’t like Truth or Dare fanfics. So yeah, that was actually meant to be a friendly joke directed at her…Also, at some point, I NEEDED to include a Rick Astley reference. It’s like a law.

#4 – The Flirt from Zenith Woman #2

…Y’know what, let’s just let the scene speak for itself, as a rather muscular-looking man hits on Zenith Woman while she’s in civilian disguise and going shopping with The Bard.

“Well, think your friend would mind if we went for a stroll?” the man suggests, and it’s at this point I notice his gaze is quite a bit lower than my face. “Maybe go for a bite to eat?”

“…Oh!” I say as I realise his intent. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe we should be mating at all.”

The man blinks, looking flustered. “Wha-…wai-“

“It’s just, that sort of thing should only be done between two who share a strong bond,” I go on. “Also, while your muscles are a bit bulkier-looking than mine, I’m almost certain that, should we attempt to mate, I would likely break you, and I’m afraid I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.”

The man just looks at me oddly, stepping away slowly. “…A-Alright then…I’ll see you ’round…”

I watch as he leaves, confused, until I hear an odd sound coming from behind me. Turning, I see Robina standing a couple of feet away, and she appears to be trying to keep from laughing.

“…What?” I ask, befuddled.

“…Vyx, you have NO idea how awesome that was,” Robina says, tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she keeps from laughing harder.

There’s just something inherently funny to me about an alien girl interacting with dumbass human men. When you see it happening, you know it won’t end well and you likely know the punch-line to come, but you can’t look away! XD

#5 – The Defender Signal Suggestion from Green Defender #17

I’ve made it pretty clear in the past that Batman is my favourite superhero. As such, much of Green Defender was inspired by Batman. And if you’re wondering, here’s who else inspired him…

However, while I try not to make GD TOO much like Batman, there are some moments where I just can’t help but make tongue-and-cheek references to him, as seen here when he’s meeting Detective Catherine Summers on a rooftop.

I land softly on the roof. I’m about a minute late, but I felt the need to scope out the area to make sure this wasn’t a trap. Standing in the shadows of the roof entrance is Detective Summers, having a cigarette as she waits for me.

“Y’know those are bad for you,” I note as I walk over.

“I hear the same thing about having mass voltage running through your body, but you seem okay,” the Detective replies. “Besides, it’s an e-cigarette. I’m trying to quit.”

“Also, there are better ways to contact people than to stash cellphones in their pockets,” I go on.

“Well, what would you prefer, a giant spotlight with your symbol on it or something?” Summers inquires.

Thinking for a moment, I just shrug. “…Eh, too egotistical…”

And that’s my 5 Favourite Scenes From Superhero Tales. I hope you enjoyed this blatant attention-whoring, and by all means, leave a comment below what you thought, and if you like these, by all means check out Superhero Tales. Ja né!

Related articles

• Superhero Role Models: She-Hulk (jkjones21blog.wordpress.com)
• The Time to Be Super (rachelannpierce.wordpress.com)
• Are Comicbook Superheroes Trekking into Darkness? (biowars.com)
• History of Digital Comic Books (biowars.com)
• 3 Superheroes We Want On The Silver Screen (biowars.com)
• Superhero Week: The sexiest superheroes (geeknative.com)
• New Video Game Is First to Let Kids of Any Age Fly Like a Superhero (prweb.com)
• Creative Writing Exercise: Superheroes (inkpenquill.wordpress.com)
• Superhero Week: Who is the most famous black superhero? (geeknative.com)
• Hottest Stars To Play Superheroes!! (perezhilton.com)

What If The Justice League Was Composed Of Only Women?

Continuing my look at all my favourite women of various medias that I’ve been doing as of late (don’t ask me why, I have no idea), I was going to pick my favourite DC women, but then I thought to myself “No. Do something different for this one.” So instead, I’ve decided to look at a What If scenario, like what if all the men of the Justice League were kidnapped or something and it was up to Wonder Woman to assemble an all woman Justice League to rescue them?

Now, keep in mind that I’m not taking continuity and whatnot into account, so villains are actually up for grabs here. Also, trying to keep this a balanced team both in powers and also colour-scheme, because I believe a team should have varying colours, unlike the current Teen Titans which is mostly red. So, skipping past Wonder Woman since she’s already kind of an obvious pick…

Diana of Themyscira, AKA Wonder Woman

…here are the women I think I’d like to see in this scenario.

Mera

The Queen of Atlantis and controller of all water, how could you not include Mera? Now for those unfamiliar with Mera who might be asking how that’s intimidating, I want you to think about something: 50-65% of the average adult human body is made up of water. Mera can literally set your insides against you if she chooses. In other words, NEVER PISS HER OFF.

Kara Zor-L, AKA Power Girl

Obviously ignoring CERTAIN continuities here. It’s kind of hard to deny Power Girl‘s place on a Justice League that lacks Superman since she has all the same strengths and weaknesses as the Man of Steel. Plus, she has certain…erm, features that tend to distract people, which just makes it all the easier for her to punch a sucker out. Obviously, Kryptonite and magical attacks would be a problem for her, but she’s usually smart enough to avoid those anyway.

Pamela Isley, AKA Poison Ivy

Yeah, like you didn’t see THIS coming. lol For realsies, though, Poison Ivy’s control over all plant-life would be useful depending on the situation, as is her ability to “influence” people to do as she asks. The only problem is that…well, you’d wanna keep a close eye on her is all. I know I’m ignoring continuity, but I’ve never known a version of Pamela Isley that wasn’t at least a little troublesome and hard to trust.

Mary, AKA Strix

A former Talon of the Court of Owls, I like to think of Mary as being the writers’ way of being allowed to write Cassandra Cain without actually writing Cassandra Cain. As an ex-assassin, she’s perfectly capable of sneaking into complexes and quietly disabling guards, and considering that she has a compound in her blood that makes her immortal, her only weakness is to the cold. Otherwise, you cannot stop her. Ever.

Jesse Chambers, AKA Jesse Quick

Armed with the strength of her mother, Liberty Belle, and the ability to tap into the Speed Force, Jessie Quick seems like a natural pick for this group. So not only can she move like The Flash, but she can do so while carrying a bus-load of people. And hey, considering the amount of times fights break out in heavily populated cities, it’s good to have someone around like that who can do stuff like that.

Kendra Saunders, AKA Hawkgirl

Yeah, kinda biased here as I was a big fan of the Justice League cartoon. To be fair, though, she’s a very capable fighter, a graceful flyer, and of course, that mace of hers is probably tough enough to knock Superman around! If that doesn’t qualify her, I don’t know what does! o.O

Rachel Roth, AKA Raven

Say it with me now: “Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!” Raven is telekinetic, empathic, has limited precognition, some forms of sorcery, and can control and manipulate the shadows and anything within them. The only thing you wanna watch out for is that her empathic powers can come back to bite her on occasion, and she also has this little tendency to turn evil every so often since her Dad likes to mess with her head.

Katherine Kane, AKA Batwoman

Again, if you’re forming a team to save the men of the Justice League, who better to go save Batman than Batwoman? She’s a skilled martial artist and detective, has a vast knowledge of military protocol, and has the finances to build various gadgetry like Batarangs, a grappling hook, bladed gauntlets, and a glider-cape.

Barbara Gordon, AKA Oracle

And of course, since every team needs a little back-up in case of emergencies, who better to have their back than Oracle? Her computer hacking skills are freaking legendary, thus making her the digital eyes and ears of the Justice League.

And those are my picks for if the Justice League was made up of only women. Have a different line-up, by all means, post it below, and I will see y’all later. Ja né!