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Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 7.2

Not THAT handily. Like I said, Giovanni's Kangaskhan can actually be kinda tough.

Not THAT handily. Like I said, Giovanni’s Kangaskhan can actually be kinda tough.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I found out that the Silph Scope, required to identify the ghosts of Pokémon Tower, had been stolen by Team Rocket. As such, I stormed their hidden base underneath the Rocket Game Corner and defeated their boss, Giovanni, thus reclaiming the Silph Scope. This time, I headed back to Lavender Town to enter the Pokémon Tower, find Mr. Fuji, and uncover the truth of what was happening. However, almost as soon as I made my way to the second floor of the tower…

...Tim? There are days I worry that I enjoy beating the shit outta you and your team a little TOO much.

…Tim? There are days I worry that I enjoy beating the shit outta you and your team a little TOO much. Cue theme song!

Needless to say, Mikey has gotten a wee bit tougher now that he's become fully evolved.

Needless to say, Mikey has gotten a wee bit tougher now that he’s become fully evolved.

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 3!!!

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 3!!!

I'm warning you, Tim. I've got Ethers, and I'm not afraid to use 'em!

I’m warning you, Tim. I’ve got Ethers, and I’m not afraid to use ’em!

Anyway, after that all-too-casual-by-now ass-kicking, I made my way to the upper floors…and maybe I was a little crazy, but it seemed like something wasn’t quite right…

I know, I'm taking a big leap here, but it just seemed like things weren't quite ordinary.

I know, I’m taking a big leap here, but it just seemed like things weren’t quite ordinary.

Sure enough, after defeating a couple of the Channelers…

...Great. Demonic possession. Rated E for Everyone! :D

…Great. Demonic possession. Rated E for Everyone!

So yeah, the Ghost-type Pokémon in the tower have been possessing the Channelers to battle anyone who tries to ascend to the top. So, after capturing one for myself…

Yeah, I know it was the most obvious thing to call him, leave me alone. lol

Yeah, I know it was the most obvious thing to call him, leave me alone. lol

…I began battling my way through the Channelers, releasing them from the control of their Ghost-types upon defeat.

Okay, you're either possessed, or you're vampires. I don't care which one, just make up your mind.

Okay, you’re either possessed, or you’re vampires. I don’t care which one, just make up your mind.

Luckily, Edge and Milo are both Normal-type Pokémon with Dark-type moves, so they're immune to anything the Gastly can use on them but can dish out super effective damage in return.

Luckily, Edge and Milo are both Normal-type Pokémon with Dark-type moves, so they’re immune to anything the Gastly can use on them but can dish out super effective damage in return.

... ...Uhhhhh...

… …Uhhhhh…

Nnnnnoooope! Nope! Nope! No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NOOO! NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! XD

Just to keep his Special Attack stat high enough to deal with stuff like this.

Just to keep his Special Attack stat high enough to deal with stuff like this.

Oh good, a friendly one!... ... ...Wait, if this area is purified, why not corral all the other Channelers into this spot and let the energies undo the possession?

Oh good, a friendly one!… … …Wait, if this area is purified, why not corral all the other Channelers into this spot and let the energies undo the possession?

Anyway, it didn’t take long for me to defeat all the Channelers and free them from their Ghost-type Pokémon. However, just as I reached the staircase leading to the top, where I guessed Mr. Fuji was, I ran into a whole new problem…

... ...Aaaaannnnd scared.

… …Aaaaannnnd scared.

OH CRAP, IT'S MISSINGNO. IN ITS GHOST FORM!!! O_O

OH CRAP, IT’S MISSINGNO. IN ITS GHOST FORM!!! SOMEONE CALL LORD VYCE AND TELL HIM THE ENTITY IS HERE!!! XD

Who's that Pokémon?!

Who’s that Pokémon?!

It's...Marowak!

It’s…Marowak!

…So yeah. Long story short, Cubone’s mother returned from the dead as a spirit of vengeance. In fact, if I may speculate, I’d go so far as to guess that the other Ghost-type Pokémon weren’t really trying to cause trouble as much as get people’s attention. Especially because, as it turned out, Team Rocket was hiding out on the top floor. They’d kidnapped Mr. Fuji when he tried to deal with them himself. After calming Marowak’s soul…

...rather violently, actually...

…rather violently, actually…

…I made my way up the stairs to deal with Team Rocket personally.

This is for Marowak, you sons of bitches.

THIS.

IS.

IS.

FOR.

FOR.

MAROWAK!!!

MAROWAK!!!

One rather violent beat-down set to Through The Fire And Flames later…

You're lucky I don't believe in eye for an eye.

You’re lucky I don’t believe in eye for an eye.

Good. After all that, at least she's at peace now...

Good. After all that, at least she’s at peace now…

...Oh. Well, yeah, I'll gladly take this, too. I mean, if you really WANT to reward me. lol

…Oh. Well, yeah, I’ll gladly take this, too. I mean, if you really WANT to reward me. lol

Feeling a lot better, I decided it was finally time to wake up the Snorlax south from Lavender Town. However, I knew that, when Snorlax wake up unplanned, that they can attack whatever wakes them in a pretty massive rage. Also, in battle, it could use Rest to recover all damage it’d taken. As such, I came up with a plan: I’d have Poe, immune to all of Snorlax’s attacks and now having learned Hidden Power, hit Snorlax with it to have it lose some health and force it to use Rest, at which point, Poe would then use Spite to reduce Rest’s PP. After Rest was completely depleted, it would then just be a matter of weakening Snorlax enough to get in a Great Ball. That would fall to Martini, who would use Thunder Wave to paralyze Snorlax and leave it vulnerable. But first, I’d have to do some grinding with him, possibly even enough to evolve him into a Dragonair.

Overall, the plan seemed pretty close to perfect… … …so I guess I only have myself to blame for just how badly it went wrong. I was on Route 16, trying to get Martini experience, when we ran into a Doduo. It was one level beneath Martini, so…against my better judgment, I sent him to fight the Doduo, thinking he could handle it alone. One lucky Fury Attack later, and Martini was already low on HP, so my first impulse was to recall him and send out Oswald. Except, in a panic, I’d forgotten that, in FireRed, Doduo learn Pursuit at Level 9, and…

...

…My first loss. First soldier down. And one who would’ve been a HUGE help in the game but I’d barely gotten a chance to get to know, all because I made an error in judgment. N. Harmonik was actually quick to point out that I’d done pretty well for myself to last this long without suffering a loss. Probably to make me feel better, which I appreciate. And yet, all I could think of was “Martini was dead, and it was my fault”. And, after returning to the Pokémon Center, I must’ve gone at least a half hour without doing anything in the game. Finally, I knew the pain of losing a Pokémon. I’m not an idiot, really. I know it’s just a game. And yet, that fact didn’t seem to make me feel much better. I’m pretty sentimental, so losing a Pokémon hit me pretty hard. But, after a while of looking at Martini’s grave…

Yeah, I decided to go with making a box of my PC a cemetary for dead Pokémon instead of releasing them right away.

Yeah, I decided to go with making a box of my PC a cemetery (which I spelled wrong, lol) for dead Pokémon instead of releasing them right away.

…I eventually came to a decision: Never again. I wouldn’t make such mistakes so easily again. I would familiarize myself with the movesets of every Pokémon I encountered from now on and make sure to know my team inside and out, their strengths and limitations. And so, with a heavy heart, I left the Center and made my way to face Snorlax, never forgetting who was left behind.

Met in Celadon City
Level 18 – 19
Even in death, he was merely shaken, but never stirred.

… … …Anyway, I got to Route 12, and used the Poké Flute to wake up Snorlax. As expected, he was PISSED, but fortunately, the plan to force him to use up all his PP for Rest worked. Mikey took care of the rest, and when all was said and done…

Now I just need a bumbling sidekick to follow him around. I'm thinking a Duskull. XD

Now I just need a bumbling sidekick to follow him around. I’m thinking a Duskull. XD

So yeah, with Pokémon Tower dealt with and Snorlax awoken and caught, I decided to call it a night. Next time, though, I’m probably gonna be doing some traversing around the locations in Kanto I’ve already been to, largely due to another new item I’ll have obtained. Ja né!

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 7.1 (SPECIAL GAMBLING EDITION!)

Tenacity is a must in a Nuzlocke.

Tenacity is a must in a Nuzlocke.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I learned about everything going on in the Pokémon Tower in Lavender Town, but to advance up through it, I’d need the Silph Scope prototype in Celadon City. And hey, it wasn’t like there was anywhere else to go or anything else to do, since sleeping Snorlax were blocking not one but two routes, and Saffron City was still under lock-down. Anyway, while looking for the scope, I detoured to the Gym and won the Rainbow Badge. This time, with my team prepared (and cue obligatory shot of my team because I forgot to include one at the end of last time)…

Ta-da. lol

Ta-da. lol

…I decided to check around town and see if I could find any leads on the Silph Scope. Finally, I managed to find a scientist who worked for Silph Co. who claimed that the scope had been stolen by a thief. Given that Team Rocket grunts were pretty much everywhere in this part of town, it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure out what happened. Also, since the small casino in Celadon was named the Rocket Game Corner, it was pretty obvious that this was their hideout. But how to get in without arousing suspicion?

Y'know, I really look at this as win/win. He gets past his gambling problem, and I get a way into the casino. What could go wrong?

Y’know, I really look at this as win/win. He gets past his gambling problem, and I get a way into the casino. What could go wrong?

...Huh. Well then, it seems the only way to win-I mean, FREE these poor Pokémon is to obtain the necessary coins required to purchase them.

…Huh. Well then, it seems the only way to win-I mean, FREE these poor Pokémon is to obtain the necessary coins required to purchase them.

Yeah, note to self: Never go to Vegas. I have no patience when it comes to lining up the slots, preferring to just hit them rapid fire and hope for the best. The results are piss-off screens like this. :P

Yeah, note to self: Never go to Vegas. I have no patience when it comes to lining up the slots, preferring to just hit them rapid fire and hope for the best. The results are more often than not piss-off screens like this. 😛

Okay, confession time: In the end, I ultimately decided to just buy enough coins to trade in for a Dratini. Leave me alone. lol

Okay, confession time: In the end, I ultimately decided to just buy enough coins to trade them in for a Dratini.

Anyway, after I’d finished gambling for a bit (leave me alone, I’m 30 years old and will gamble all I fuckin’ well like, lol)…

I love how it doesn't even give you the option. It just KNOWS you want to push it at this point. lol

I love how it doesn’t even give you the option. It just KNOWS you want to push it at this point. And honestly, have you ever found an important looking button or switch in a game and said “No, I do not want to push it”? lol

Yeah, spoilers for later in this article, but I thought I'd get one last Mega Punch in here, because I replace it later. Sorry.

Yeah, spoilers for later in this article, but I thought I’d get one last Mega Punch in here, because I replace it later. Sorry.

Well, that confirms that.

Well, that confirms that.

Not gonna lie, MIGHT'VE been overkill. :P

Not gonna lie, MIGHT’VE been overkill. 😛

"Or else" what? You'll continue doing a shitty-ass job in my general direction?

“Or else” what? You’ll continue doing a shitty-ass job in my general direction?

Who's eating dreams now, bitch? :P

Who’s eating dreams now, bitch? XD

...And you're an idiot.

…Judge Judy, you wanna field this one?

Oh, and as I was beating the crap outta Rocket Grunts, guess what happened? 😀

The quite literal tank of my team has arrived. ^_^

The quite literal tank of my team has arrived. ^_^

Yes, I think it's reasonable to suggest that I have a problem with a mafia-esque group who steal Pokémon, have knowingly committed grand theft, and have murdered innocent Pokémon on at LEAST one occasion that I know of.

Yes, I think it’s reasonable to suggest that I have a problem with a mafia-esque group who steal Pokémon, have knowingly committed grand theft, and have murdered innocent Pokémon on at LEAST one occasion that I know of.

Funny story: The guards' strongest Pokémon were a Sandslash and an Arbok. I defeated both with draining attacks: Giga Drain and Dream Eater.

Funny story: The guards’ strongest Pokémon were a Sandslash and an Arbok. I defeated both with draining attacks: Giga Drain and Dream Eater.

So, YOU'RE the head honcho. Been waiting a while to have a face-to-face meeting with you.

So, YOU’RE the head honcho. Been waiting a while to have a face-to-face meeting with you.

Again, I won't lie to y'all. Giovanni's Kangaskhan? One tough momma. I like to think that if these games get remade again to include Mega Evolutions, Giovanni's Kangaskhan will be able to do so.

Again, I won’t lie to y’all. Giovanni’s Kangaskhan? One tough momma. I like to think that if these games get remade again to include Mega Evolutions, Giovanni’s Kangaskhan will be able to do so.

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that thus far in this playthrough alone...lol

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that thus far in this playthrough alone…lol

YOINK! :P

YOINK! 😛

…Anyway, with all that taken care of, I decided both I and my Pokémon could use a break before heading back to Pokémon Tower. So, with that said, come back in a bit to find out how that went, as well as my attempts to awaken Snorlax… … …and the unfortunate events that occurred as a result. Ja né!

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 6

The team at the beginning of this part.

The team at the beginning of this part.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I got the Flash HM, almost had the shit scared outta me by Milo and a Dugtrio, and made my way to Lavender Town, during which, I taught my team some new tricks, and caught a couple of new team members, like this one…

I am SO sorry, Bro-Orb. lol

I am SO sorry, Bro-Orb. lol

…This time, having arrived in Lavender Town, I decided to take a quick look around and see what all was available to me in town. Pretty much immediately, I found the Name Rater’s house, which meant it was time to make a correction. 😀

YUP. XD Also, from now on, I'm gonna be waiting until I can get back to the Name Rater's house before I give a nickname to my Pokémon. Reason being, I want to be able to check their Natures and whatnot before settling on a name. You'll see why in a bit...

YUP. XD Also, from now on, I’m gonna be waiting until I can get back to the Name Rater’s house before I give a nickname to my Pokémon. Reason being, I want to be able to check their Natures and whatnot before settling on a name. You’ll see why in a bit…

I'll never get over the irony that I made it here for the first time with no losses to my team.

I’ll never get over the irony that I made it here for the first time with no losses to my team.

Oh...So, like, they captured some poor Cubone's ma?

Oh…So, like, they captured some poor Cubone’s ma?

... ... ...OH...

… … …OH…

Aw man, I LOVE Mr. Fuji! He's like one of the best managers ev-...OH, right, sorry. Wrong Mr. Fuji.

Aw man, I LOVE Mr. Fuji! He’s like one of the best managers ev-…OH, right, sorry. Wrong Mr. Fuji.

Anyway, after checking around, I learned that Mr. Fuji went into Pokémon Tower, the grave-site of all Pokémon in Kanto, but that some kind of ghosts are blocking the means to advance. Without an item called the Silph Scope, I decided to head to the location of a prototype of the device, and the site of my next Gym Challenge: Celadon City. However, as per the norm, I found myself facing down…a ROUTE. FULL. OF. TRAINERS.

...I don't have a comment, I just love that line. XD

Okay, why change his line from “rambling, gambling dude”? Is it to avoid issues of gambling? But there’s still a frigging casino in Celadon. o.O

Not gonna lie, I kinda wish there were Vulpix in this version. Mainly because I've seen a lot of Growlithe at this point. lol

Not gonna lie, I kinda wish there were Vulpix in this version. Mainly because I’ve seen a lot of Growlithe at this point. lol

Okay, I know I've been saying there needs to be more Trainers with evolved Pokémon, but I'm honestly shocked to see Muk this early.

Okay, I know I’ve been saying there needs to be more Trainers with evolved Pokémon, but I’m honestly shocked to see Muk this early.

So you'll switch in the middle of the match when the referee isn't looking to screw with me?

So you’ll switch in the middle of the match when the referee isn’t looking to screw with me?…Wow, I’m making a lot of wrestling references today. lol

I know a lot of people aren't fans of Double Battles, but I really like them. ^_^

I know a lot of people aren’t fans of Double Battles, but I really like them. ^_^

Ohh, I know THAT pain...

Ohh, I know THAT pain…

Just a touch, but think about this: If you all move in one direction like that, it'll look really badass. ^_^

Just a touch, but think about this: If you all move in one direction like that, it’ll look really badass. lol

I was gonna hit it with Dig, but every time I hit Pikachu like that, Static kicks in. :P

I was gonna hit it with Dig, but every time I hit Pikachu like that, Static kicks in, and that’s SO annoying sometimes.

POKÉMON ON MOTORCYCLES!!! :D

POKÉMON ON MOTORCYCLES!!!

MY BOY! :D

MY BOY! 😀

Anyway, with all that taken care of, and a new member of the team obtained…

Yeah, to complete the pair with Milo. lol

Yeah, to complete the pair with Milo. lol

…I made my way through the second underground path to get to Celadon City…although, I have to ask: The staircases going into both underground paths are the same size, which would indicate that they’re both at the same depth underneath Saffron City… … …So how do they not intersect? I mean, I guess one MUST be under the other, but the physical evidence doesn’t back that up. And yeah, I know, top-down 2D RPG, but it didn’t HAVE to be this way, especially since we’ve had FOUR GAMES (not counting separate versions) where we go to Kanto, and not once has there ever been an attempt to fix the problem.

Goddammit, another one?! -_-

Goddammit, another one?! -_-

Anyway, I got to Celadon City, and pretty much immediately recognized there might be a problem going on in town.

I know I might be reaching, but I'm pretty sure something's gone wrong in this city.

I know I might be reaching, but I’m pretty sure something’s gone wrong in this city.

…Regardless, I did some digging around town, and couldn’t help but find maybe one or two interesting points of interest. 🙂

You don't say...

You don’t say…

FREEDOM! XD

FREEDOM!!! XD

Y'know, I don't think we EVER got an explanation as to why Eevee was just sitting in a Poké Ball on that desk for no reason.

Y’know, I don’t think we EVER got an explanation as to why Eevee was just sitting in a Poké Ball on that desk for no reason. And yeah, regarding his name…

...THIS is another part of why I'll be waiting to decide on nicknames. I decided to wait and see which Nature Eevee had before committing to a specific evolution. And yeah, I know what everyone says about Flareon, but I still like it.

…THIS is another part of why I’ll be waiting to decide on nicknames. I decided to wait and see which Nature Eevee had before committing to a specific evolution. And yeah, I know what everyone says about Flareon, but I still like it.

For now, though, keeping Firefox at the Daycare.

For now, though, keeping Firefox at the Daycare.

If I need to explain this one, clearly nobody saw Batman Beyond. lol

If I need to explain this one, clearly nobody saw Batman Beyond. lol

...Isn't this town supposed to be really big on keeping the environment clean and stuff?

…Isn’t this town supposed to be really big on keeping the environment clean and stuff?

Hel-loooo, second Double Battle! :D

Hel-loooo, second Double Battle! 😀

I actually really like this Double Battle. It's a great way to train by using the VS Seeker against this duo over and over.

I actually really like this Double Battle. It’s a great way to train by using the VS Seeker against this duo over and over.

And thus, a 3'11", 83.8 lbs. bird obtained the ability to ferry my ass across the region with no difficulty! :P

And thus, a 3’11”, 83.8 lbs. bird obtained the ability to ferry my 5’10”, 200+ lbs. fat ass across the region with no difficulty! 😛

Anyway, shortly after I obtained the Fly HM, I realized that my Pokédex now had 29 pages to it, meaning I only needed one more to obtain the Itemfinder. Now, I could’ve simply given Otis a Fire Stone, too, but I chose to let it learn some new attacks before evolving it. Also, I could’ve fished out a Magikarp from…well, ANYWHERE I hadn’t caught anything already that had water present, to make the 30th page, but I didn’t wanna waste a location on that. Luckily, with Magikarp in mind, I recalled a certain someone I met at the Pokémon Center near Mt. Moon who might have a solution to my problem.

Normally, this would be the worst use of 500 bucks ever, but at this point, that's kinda chump change. :P

Normally, this would be the worst use of 500 bucks ever, but at this point, that’s kinda chump change. lol

On my way! :D

On my way! 😀

YOU GOT A THIIIIINNNG!…50 is going to be a bitch and a half. XD

So, after all that, and a bit of grinding that I wisely chose to keep off-article this time, I was ready to take on the Celadon City Gym, when I found myself with a problem. See, I was planning to go in with Otis, Edge, and Damian. However, you need to Cut your way to the Gym, none of them could learn Cut, and as I’ve noted before, I only ever challenge Gym Leaders using the same number of Pokémon as they have, and the Celadon City Gym Leader, Erika, has three. So, I unfortunately had to cancel Damian’s spot to my team for the Gym Battle and sub him out for Milo. Luckily, that doesn’t apply to the other Gym Trainers, so with him still on my team, I stormed the Gym.

#RememberGourdon

#RememberGourdon

Seriously, why does EVERY girl in this game think I'm a pervert? Did someone staple a sign to the back of my jacket or something saying "Sexual Predator, Keep Away!"?

Seriously, why does EVERY girl in this game think I’m a pervert? Did someone staple a sign to the back of my jacket or something saying “Sexual Predator, Keep Away!”? o.O

Oh God, setting the smell Gloom makes ON FIRE. THAT'S gonna have some terrible results.

Oh God, setting the smell Gloom makes ON FIRE. THAT’S gonna have some terrible results.

Y'know what else you shouldn't like in this Gym? :D

Y’know what else you shouldn’t like in this Gym? 😀

DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!

DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!

Anyway, with the other Gym Trainers defeated, I returned Damian and the rest of my team sans Milo, Otis, and Edge to the PC and took on Erika.

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 2!!!

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 2!!!

I REALLY hate to talk smack on Tangela, but...yeah, it really is the easiest of Erika's team. To be fair, though, the rest of them are all fully evolved. Why she didn't have an Exeggutor instead, I have no idea.

I REALLY hate to talk smack on Tangela, but…yeah, it really is the easiest of Erika’s team. To be fair, though, the rest of them are all fully evolved. Why she didn’t have an Exeggutor instead, I have no idea.

I had totally forgotten Milo's Hidden Power was Flying-type. :P

I had totally forgotten Milo’s Hidden Power was Flying-type. 😛

And that's half the badges obtained! :D

And that’s half the badges obtained! 😀

And thus, we’re now at four badges, with the other four still to go. Next time, though, I plan to check out exactly what Team Rocket is doing in Celadon City and hopefully locate the Silph Scope. Ja né!

I forgot to take a photo of my team at the end of this part, so I’m just posting this. lol

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 3

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I headed into Mt. Moon, battled several tough Trainers, added new members to my team, evolved a couple of pre-existing ones, took down several members of Team Rocket, and obtained both the Dome Fossil and Moon Stones. This time, starting off in Cerulean City, I decided to prep my team for taking on Misty by battling the Trainers on my way to meeting up with Bill the Pokémaniac, creator of the PC Storage System. Before that, though, I decided to swoop back to Route 4 (the eastern half of it, anyway) and do some training. And, while I was there, I caught a new Pokémon.

No, I've never watched From Dusk till Dawn, but I was trying to come up with a nickname for this, and that was the best I could think of. lol

No, I’ve never watched From Dusk till Dawn, but I was trying to come up with a nickname for this, and that was the best I could think of. lol

…I’ll be honest, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with this one. Not because I have any kind of issue with Ekans, just that my team has already become a little Poison heavy, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Still, might be a good idea to have it as a back-up. In the meantime, though, I had…slightly different snakes to concern myself with.

"Which is why I only have a team of 4!" XP

“Which is why I only have a team of 4!” XP

I swear, it's almost like this Abra is here specifically for the purpose of getting the newbie on your team some experience.

I swear, it’s almost like this Abra is here specifically for the purpose of getting the newbie on your team some experience. That said, probably the best use of Leech Life and Astonish I’ve ever gotten.

...Okay, I'm with Petty on this one: You fucking hack evolved your Level 17 Pidgey into a Pidgeotto, but you didn't evolve your Level 18 Starter? WTF? o.O

…Okay, I’m with Petty Artist on this one: You fucking hack evolved your Level 17 Pidgey into a Pidgeotto, but you didn’t evolve your Level 18 Starter? I honestly can’t think of anyway this guy could insult me as a Trainer any more than thinking I couldn’t handle his Ivysaur at this point.

...I stand corrected. I'm gonna kill one of your Pokémon the next time we meet.

… …Okay, well, I stand corrected. Tim, I’m gonna kill one of your Pokémon the next time we meet.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I decided to make my way to-

...Hel-loooooo. :D

…Hel-loooooo. 😀

Honestly, at this point, Oswald's kinda become my primary battler for dealing with other Poison-types, unless I'm confident that Buttery can get a quick Confusion in without getting hit.

Honestly, at this point, Oswald’s kinda become my primary battler for dealing with other Poison-types, unless I’m confident that Buttery can get a quick Confusion in without getting hit.

...SERIOUSLY! What IS it with these people not evolving their Pokémon?! Although it was HILARIOUS when I had Oswald use Focus Energy, and then immediately after, the Nidoran did it, like he was trying to copy his big brother or something. :P

…SERIOUSLY! What IS it with these people not evolving their Pokémon?! Although it was hilariously adorable when I had Oswald use Focus Energy, and then immediately after, the Nidoran did it, like he was trying to copy his big brother or something. 😛

... ... ...Why, hello, Pork Laser. It's been a while. WELCOME TO DIE.

… … …Why, hello, Pork Laser. It’s been a while. WELCOME TO DIE.

YES! :D

YES! 😀

... ... ...OH...Wait, does that mean the others were all members of Team Rocket, too? Some of them were kinda young to be grunts, is all.

… … …OH…Wait, does that mean the others were all members of Team Rocket, too? Some of them were kinda young to be grunts, is all.

Seriously, what was your plan? That you were somehow going to beat a guy who had taken down five other Trainers with your two Pokémon? It's not like you were even higher leveled than the rest of them, either. The girl with the twin Nidoran was tougher than you.

Seriously, what was your plan? That you were somehow going to beat a guy who had taken down five other Trainers with your two Pokémon? It’s not like you were even higher leveled than the rest of them, either. The girl with the twin Nidoran was tougher than you.

Anyway, now that I’d gotten past Nugget Bridge, I found myself with…a grassy patch on Routes 24. This is where I got a little nervous. Not because there was anything in the grass that could kill anyone on my team, but because it is known for being home to ABRA. And…well, I’ve gotten to know my luck as it pertains to rare Pokémon at this point. If I ran into Abra, there was no way I was gonna catch one before it could teleport away, and that’d be TWO ROUTES locked off on my journey at that point. So, with fingers crossed, I entered the patch of grass, and…

Fuck, I'll take it! I don't even care that I named it after Hank Pym, I'll take it! XD

Fuck, I’ll take it! I don’t even care that I named it after Hank Pym, I’ll take it! XD

So, with that done, I let out a sigh of relief…and then recalled that Abra was on Route 25 as well. Because why not at this point? I also knew there were Kakuna on Route 25, too, so I decided that, so I wouldn’t end up wasting that Route on the evolved form of a Pokémon I already had, that I should first evolve Hank.

And since I'd gone to the trouble of getting a Kakuna, I thought "What the hell?". lol

And since I’d gone to the trouble of getting a Kakuna, I thought “What the hell, let’s go all the way to Beedrill.” So…

I wonder if I should tell him I'm planning to use him as my Cut slave? :P

Aww, he looks so happy to be fully evolved… … …I wonder if I should tell him I’m planning to use him as my Cut HM Slave? 😛

And thus, with a Beedrill in my box, I headed for Route 25 and waited to see what I’d find…

...Well, I think I know who is gonna be fighting Misty's Staryu. :)

…Well, I think I know who is gonna be fighting Misty’s Staryu. 🙂

Now that I’d caught a couple of new Pokémon, I decided it was time to make my way to Bill’s, while training my team up for Misty by battling the Trainers and wild Pokémon in the area. And thus, TRAINING MONTAGE TIME!

Hmm, not quite as epic as Mr. Satan's, but good nonetheless.

Hmm, not quite as epic as Mr. Satan’s, but good nonetheless. lol

"Sempai noticed me! And then he blew me the fuck away!" XD

“Sempai noticed me! And then he blew me the fuck away!” XD

It's always strange to find someone with the same Pokémon as a Gym Leader one city away, only higher leveled. It's like "Why wasn't THIS person the Gym Leader?"

It’s always strange to find someone with the same Pokémon as a Gym Leader one city away, only higher leveled. It’s like “Why wasn’t THIS person the Gym Leader?”

As you can see, Katherine's kinda stopped being as helpless as she was when I caught her. :)

As you can see, Katherine’s kinda stopped being as helpless as she was when I caught her. 🙂

Okay, THIS asshole scared the shit outta me, and here’s why: I totally forgot that Slowpoke learn Confusion at Level 17 in FireRed and LeafGreen. I guess I must’ve had the other Generation III games on the mind, wherein Slowpoke doesn’t learn Confusion until Level 20. As such, I sent Drakeman in to deal with him, thinking the best he could do was Water Gun. When Confusion hit, I thought for sure I was about to see my first casualty. And how I didn’t, I’ll NEVER know. O_O

...Sure enough, I ran into three of these things, and before I could hit them and try to beat them for Exp, they each Teleported away.

…Sure enough, I ran into three of these things, and before I could hit them and try to beat them for Exp, they each Teleported away.

With all the Trainers on the way to Bill’s place defeated, I made my way inside. Problem was, Bill didn’t seem to be home. Instead, there was a Clefairy sitting around…with a human face… … …At this point, I was ready to piss myself in terror. Then it started talking. And thus, a thousand Creepy Pastas were written. 😛

Yeah, I know it's really Bill. I've never understood this line of dialogue, though. Why would he say that?

Yeah, I’m kidding, I know it’s really Bill. I’ve never understood this line of dialogue, though. Why would he say that?

The technology of the Pokémon world will never cease to astound me. Why can't humanity be inspired to make stuff based on this like we are with Star Trek?

The technology of the Pokémon world will never cease to astound me. Why can’t humanity be inspired to make Poké Balls and PC Storage Systems like we are with stuff from Star Trek?

Yeah, not gonna lie, I'm kinda with Bill on this one. Maybe it's just because I prefer to dress like a dirtbag hipster, but whatevs. lol

Yeah, not gonna lie, I’m kinda with Bill on this one. Maybe it’s just because I prefer to dress like a dirtbag hipster, but whatevs. I’ll take the free tickets to a cruise liner party.

So these must be the "lots of pages to my Pokédex" that Tim was talking about. Don't get me wrong, I love Eevee and the Eeveelutions (that sounds like a band), but it's FOUR pages. I had that many when I first got the freaking 'dex.

So these must be the “lots of pages to my Pokédex” that Tim was talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love Eevee and the Eeveelutions (that sounds like a band), but it’s FOUR pages. I had that many when I first got the freaking ‘dex.

Anyway, with that done, I decided to head back to Cerulean City, just in time to notice a house had been broken into. The officer outside said it was Team Rocket…well, no shit. I could see the Goddamn Rocket Grunt standing in the back yard from right there. How do you not see that? Apparently, the police in Kanto are completely inept, OR they’re on the take. It’s one or the other. Either way, I decided I’d need to go all vigilante and take the law into my own hands by dealing with the grunt myself.

...No. The Team Rocket uniform kinda gives you away. In fact, why aren't you wearing a disguise like your buddy on Nugget Bridge? o.O

…No. The Team Rocket uniform kinda gives you away. In fact, why aren’t you wearing a disguise like your buddy on Nugget Bridge? o.O

One rather embarrasing asskicking later. lol

One rather embarrassing ass-kicking later. lol

Man, could you imagine if EVERYBODY was able to deal with loss of property that well?

Man, could you imagine if EVERYBODY was able to deal with loss of property that well?

Yeah, we never really did find out what that was about, huh?

Yeah, we never really did find out what that was about, huh?

And thus, with Team Rocket beaten down again, the Nugget Bridge conquered, a few more pages added to my Pokédex, and some much-needed training done, it was finally time to deal with Misty. As always, I went into battle using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader’s, meaning I needed to decide which two would take on her Staryu and Starmie. I’d already decided that, based on type and overall performance (and luck) thus far that Drakeman would lead against her Staryu, but there was still the matter of her Starmie. Katherine now knew Bite, but I wasn’t sure if she could one hit KO her opponent, nor was I confident in her ability to tank a Water Pulse from a Starmie. I could’ve worked to evolve her into a Golbat, as I had thought about before, but that felt like I’d be committing to making her a full member of my team, and with Oswald and Drakeman in the party already, I was clearly a bit too Poison heavy. As such, I ultimately decided to go with Mikey, matching his bulk against Starmie’s Special Attack. With my two party members chosen, I headed for the Gym…

Not kidding, first time using Bullet Seed, and it hit 5 times. Seriously, Drakeman, you are the luckiest Goddamn Oddish EVER, not to mention one hell of a trooper. Speaking of, btw? I was originally gonna name him Steve. I’m not kidding, if he survives to Lavender Town and that kind of crap keeps happening to him, I’m changing his name. lol

Honestly? Not as bad a policy as some would suggest.

Honestly? Not as bad a policy as some would suggest.

Not gonna lie: I had to use a LOT of Potions in this battle. Also, I wanted to punch myself for not raising Mikey ONE LEVEL so that he'd learn Bite. Once again, my lack of memory of the movepools in this game nearly gets one of my team members killed. Clearly, something I'm going to have to be a LOT more careful of.

Not gonna lie: I had to use a LOT of Potions in this battle. Also, I wanted to punch myself for not raising Mikey ONE LEVEL so that he’d learn Bite. Once again, my lack of memory of the movepools in this game nearly gets one of my team members killed. Clearly, something I’m going to have to be a LOT more careful of.

Two badges down, six to go. :)

Two badges down, six to go. 🙂

With the Cascade Badge in hand, my business in Cerulean City was finally complete… … …BUT, before I called it a day, there was still one last thing I had to do. After healing up and withdrawing my team, I called out Oswald and gave him one of the Moon Stones I’d found in Mt. Moon, and watched as he evolved to his final stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most powerful member currently on my team, and the Pokémon who will lead said team to victory against Lt. Surge.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most powerful member currently on my team, and the Pokémon who will lead said team to victory against Lt. Surge.

So, once again, I managed to get through a phase of my journey with no fatalities. Still, I can tell that what luck I’ve had thus far is gonna run out soon, so I’m gonna have to play it smarter next time, as I make my way south to Vermilion City in order to attend the S.S. Anne party and battle Lt. Surge for the Thunder Badge. Ja né!

We're gonna need a LOT more training to deal with Surge...

We’re gonna need a lot more training and a lot less weaknesses to Electric attacks to deal with Surge. But where can I find a really strong and swift Ground-type?