Marvelous May – And The Winner Is…!

Welp, Marvelous May has come and gone. And now, after all this, it’s time to announce the winner of this month-long fan-vote tournament. And so, our winner, and #1 Marvel Superheroine is…!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…GRANNY GOODNESS!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Nah, I’m kidding, it’s Kamala. lol

And really, was there ever any doubt? This young woman has won the hearts of damned near every single person to read her book. She has earned her position as this generation’s favourite Marvel superheroine, a member of the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and the winner of the 2016 Marvelous May fan-vote tournament of superheroines. So congratulations to Kamala Khan, AKA Ms. Marvel. 🙂

And a big hand for everyone else who competed, as well.

Aaaaannnd I’m pretty sure this’ll be the last time I ever do something like this. lol That said, I’m glad I did it, and I’m very thankful for everybody who voted. But, now that this is over, be sure to check back in for updates on my Nuzlocke run, as well as my thoughts on DC Universe Rebirth #1, AND one last send-off/rant for DC’s The New 52. Ja né!

Marvelous May – Jane Foster vs Spider-Woman

Welcome back to Marvelous May, as the second round of the tournament continues! Next up, we’ve got Jane Foster, AKA Thor, vs Jessica Drew, AKA Spider-Woman!

What’s hilarious about this match-up is…remember what I posted at the end of Jane’s match-up with Quake?

Okay…I swear I wasn’t thinking of the possibility of this fight happening when I picked out this picture. I was not setting up for a joke with this, it just kinda happened. In fact, I feel bad that I didn’t set up for one, because I feel like I should have one here, and I got notta. lol

Anyway, with that outta the way, can I just say, for the record, how glad I am that Spider-Woman has a new costume nowadays? Her old costume was pretty much a punchline by the time she’d finally switched to the new one. In fact, it had gotten to the point where it was addressed IN UNIVERSE!

Granted, I have NO idea how she managed to fit into her new costume when she was pregnant. Granted, the jacket was oftentimes seen undone, but not always. At that point, she had to be bigger than me, and lemme tell you something: Unless her costume is made out of some super-stretchy material that I am not aware of, there is no Goddamn way I could EVER be able to get into her costume. I would probably break the zipper of her jacket trying to fit it around my root beer gut belly. I’m a big person. And she was PREGNANT. She had a whole other person inside her. HOW DID SHE DO THIS???

Speaking of new looks…has anyone else noticed how Thor Odinson, after losing Mjölnir, has basically become 90’s Aquaman? Seriously, look at them: The same beard and long hair, the loss of part of their left arm (granted, a little more in the case of Odinson), a somewhat gruffer attitude, and so on. And I’m not even saying that as a negative, either. It actually really works for him. And I gotta say, loving how he opted to replace his arm with a prosthetic made of the same material that went into the construction of the hammer. And yeah, I know, with recent events, it’s looking like they’ll finally solve the issue of the hammer by having him obtain the Ultimate Universe Mjölnir. I’m in favour of this, honestly, since it validates both Thors instead of one over the other.

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to talk about. And yes, from here on out, expect me to shoot the random shit in these articles now that I’ve already given the basic histories of the heroines. With that said, you can check out the links below to learn more after voting for who you think should win this match-up. And be sure to check in next time as we see who will battle in the third match of the second round. Ja né!

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jane_Foster_(Earth-616)

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jessica_Drew_(Earth-616)

Marvelous May – Spider-Gwen vs Mayday Parker

Welcome back to Marvelous May! I’d just like to point out that I set up this tournament using a generator I found online, and I didn’t know which seeds would face each other, so this is actually completely random. Nonetheless, we do in fact have a battle between alternate universe Spider-Women: Gwen Stacy of Earth-65 vs Mayday Parker of Earth-982!

Spider-Gwen

In the mainstream universe, Gwen Stacy is probably best remembered as one of Peter Parker’s most prominent love interests (which is saying something, considering how many of them there are, and that even Captain Marvel can be counted among them), whose life tragically came to an end the day Green Goblin threw her off a bridge. However, in an alternate universe, things happened very differently. Gwendolyne Maxine Stacy of Earth-65 was once an ordinary girl with a love for music, acting as the drummer for a band called The Mary Janes. But her life was changed the day she was bitten by a radioactive spider and was granted superpowers. She can cling to and crawl along walls, she has superhuman speed, strength, agility, and balance, but most amazing of all is the Spider Sense, a sixth sense that warns her of danger and can grant her omnipresent detection of her surroundings, though it’s up to Gwen to react appropriately to it. She was also given a costume and web-shooters from her world’s Janet van Dyne, allowing her to web-swing across town or ensnare targets in webbing. At first, Gwen saw being Spider-Woman as a thrill only, loving her newfound fame, until the day her best friend, Peter Parker, depressed from a life of everything constantly going wrong for him (so I guess that’s one thing that’s universal no matter which Peter Parker it is) and in awe of Spider-Woman, decided to make a change. He was transformed into the Lizard, but lost control and ended up in a fight with Gwen, which resulted in his accidental death. Through this event, Gwen realized the lesson that all those with the Spider name must inevitably learn: With great power comes great responsibility. With that lesson in mind, Gwen opted to become a better hero, one that her city deserved. Having learned a lot about detective work from her policeman father, and possessing an analytical mind, she put these to use with her new gifts to make herself a better Spider-Woman, one who would protect her city from any threat that came its way.

Mayday Parker

May ‘Mayday’ Parker is the daughter of her world’s Peter and Mary Jane. Yeah, remember back when Mary Jane was pregnant during the Clone Saga? Well, in this universe, she actually had the baby, though she was abducted as part of a plan by Green Goblin. Eventually, a fight broke out between Spider-Man and Green Goblin, which resulted in the Goblin’s death and Peter losing his leg. With a new bionic leg given to him by Mr. Fantastic, Peter decided to quit being Spider-Man and keep his life as a hero a secret from his daughter. As it turned out, though, Mayday began developing spider powers as well, genetically passed down through Peter’s DNA. One day, she was attacked by a new Green Goblin, Norman Osborn’s grandson, as a message for Peter. Overhearing her parents talk about it and learning that her father was Spider-Man, Mayday began experimenting with her powers, and seeing that her parents were going to confront this new Green Goblin, she took up Ben Riley’s old costume and became Spider-Girl, saving her parents and beginning a new life as a superheroine, whether her parents liked it or not. Eventually, though, they did come around and helped their daughter, who eventually became a reserve member for A-Next, the new team of Avengers. Unfortunately, one day, an inter-dimensional life sucker named Daemos, who had been hunting down Spider-Men across the Multiverse, attacked and killed her father, sending May on a journey with all the remaining Spiders throughout the Multiverse to stop this new threat. After they succeeded, May was given her father’s old costume, and re-branded herself as the Amazing Spider-Woman.

And let the voting begin! You have until May 10th to get your votes in, at which point, we’ll find out which of these two Spider-Women will take on the winner of Scarlet Witch vs Ms. Marvel. Until then, check out the links below to learn more about these other-dimensional Spiders, and be sure to check in next time as Storm battles Gamora. Ja né!

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Gwendolyne_Stacy_(Earth-65)

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/May_Parker_(Earth-982)

Marvelous May – Squirrel Girl vs Spider-Woman

Welcome back to Marvelous May, and today, one of the more unique heroines of the Marvel Universe takes on longtime Avenger and Carol Danvers’ BFF. It’s Doreen Green, AKA Squirrel Girl, vs Jessica Drew, AKA Spider-Woman!

Squirrel Girl

In all of the Marvel Universe, there is a heroine so dreaded, so feared, that even the greatest villains to ever to terrorize the universe dare not speak her name. That heroine is…The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl… … …Stop laughing, I’m serious. Doreen Green is a Mutant with a 3 foot long semi-prehensile tail, the ability to lift up to 25 tons, claws for climbing structures and griping onto objects, a rapid healing factor, and the ability to communicate with squirrels. And I know what every single person who has never read her comics is thinking right now: “How pathetic is this? She’s a human squirrel who can talk to other squirrels. This is the lamest superheroine ever!” Well, here’s the thing: Her first outing resulted in her rescuing Iron Man and defeating DOCTOR DOOM. YEAH, the guy who created Battleworld was defeated by this girl when she was just a teenager starting out. It wasn’t even a Doombot pretending to be him, either, it was the real thing. By swarming Doom’s aircraft with a massive legion of squirrels, all chewing up and tearing through the thing before attacking Doom directly, even the dreaded ruler of Latveria couldn’t handle the massive swarms coming at him. Since then, she’s actually joined a few different incarnations of the Avengers, as well as acted as a nanny for Luke Cage’s daughter, Danielle. Currently, she’s a member of the New Avengers, along with Wiccan and Hulkling, and her sidekick Tippy-Toe, who is, of course, a squirrel. Regardless of what team she’s on, though, the fact is that you should NEVER underestimate Squirrel Girl, as has been evidenced by her rather impressive record as having defeated opponents like Doctor Doom, Wolverine, Maelstrom, Deadpool, M.O.D.O.K., and most impressively, a clone of Thanos so perfectly replicated that even Uatu the Watcher was fooled…or so Thanos claims, anyway. I think he just was having trouble living it down. 😛

Spider-Woman

She is probably the most famous heroine in the Marvel Universe to use the Spider name and have not that much to do with Spider-Man. In fact, Jessica Merriam Drew was originally an agent of Hydra, the group that was once the rogue Nazi science division. For a while, she believed she was an actual spider mutated to be human. However, it was later revealed that she was given an untested spider serum and put in a genetic accelerator as a child to save her life from long-term Uranium poisoning, though the process wiped her memories of everything beforehand clean. On her first field mission for Hydra, Jessica disobeyed orders and defected. She later joined up with S.H.I.E.L.D. as one of their new agents, and has since become a member of multiple different factions and incarnations of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the Avengers. Along with superhuman strength, speed, durability, agility, reflexes, hearing, and flexibility, Spider-Woman has the ability to fire bio-electric ‘Venom Blasts’ to stun foes, can crawl across walls via electrostatic attraction, produce pheromones meant to intimidate, repulse, or even attract those that breathe them in, and is immune to just about all known venoms and toxins. Most recently, Jess has actually become a mother, and has chosen to continue operating as Spider-Woman, becoming both a full-time superheroine and a full-time single mother.

And let the voting commence! Be sure to get yours in before May 9th, when we find out which of these two will take on the winner of Quake vs Jane Foster. Also, feel free to learn more about these two via the links below, and check back in for the next match: Scarlet Witch vs Ms. Marvel. Ja né!

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Doreen_Green_(Earth-616)

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jessica_Drew_(Earth-616)

Marvelous May – The Finalized Roster

Well, the time is nearly upon us, folks. Jyger’s Rant’s first-ever fan-vote tournament will begin in four days. As such, it’s now time to reveal the final roster of heroines that will compete in this tournament. Here are the 16 individuals who will battle it out, with the winners determined by you, the audience.

Quake, Mayday Parker, Ms. Marvel, Storm, Wasp, Squirrel Girl, Emma Frost, Gamora, Rogue, She-Hulk, Jean Grey, Jane Foster, Spider-Gwen, Captain Marvel, Scarlet Witch, and Spider-Woman

And, after finalizing the roster, I also set up the tournament brackets to determine who will face who at the start of May.

And that’s everything. Be sure to check back in on May 1st as the tournament begins with Captain Marvel vs Emma Frost. Ja né!

Radioactive Spider-Gwen #5 Preview

Hoo boy, I had a feeling the situation with George was gonna turn ugly sooner or later. For now, though, I present the preview for Radioactive Spider-Gwen #5.

• Captain George Stacy has always been a big force in Spider-Gwen’s life.
• But knowing that his daughter is the Spider-hero swinging around the city has taken its toll on him. Can he come to grips with the knowledge?
• Can she handle her police captain father if he can’t?

http://www.comicbookresources.com/comic-previews/spider-gwen-5-marvel-comics-2016

Radioactive Spider-Gwen #4 Preview

Radioactive Spider-Gwen #4 preview. ‘Nuff said. lol

• GWEN TAKES ON THE GOBLINS!
• ‘Nuff said.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/comic-previews/spider-gwen-4-marvel-comics-2016

Radioactive Spider-Gwen #3 & Gwenpool Special #1

Double the Gwen, double the fun! Here are the previews for Radioactive Spider-Gwen #3 and Gwenpool Special #1!

• Still reeling from the events of SPIDER-VERSE, Gwen Stacy decides to pay a visit to Jessica Drew, AKA Spider-Woman!
• Gwen learns about her Earth-616 counterpart, and sees that the lesson that with great power, there must also come great responsibility applies in any reality.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/comic-previews/spider-gwen-3-marvel-comics-2015-2015

• AN ALL-NEW, ALL-DIFFERENT MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL!
• She-Hulk throws a holiday party and invites the entire Marvel U!
• Deadpool teams up with both Hawkeyes — Kate and Clint — to…stop a pickpocket?!
• Ms. Marvel takes on her most dangerous threat yet: the holiday blues!
• And then there’s the reason for the season(al special): GWENPOOL!
• Yup, you read that right — Gwen. Pool. C’mon, you know you’re curious.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/comic-previews/gwenpool-special-1-marvel-comics-2015-2015

Spider-Gwen Lyrics (AKA Gwen Stacy: The Insert-Cool-Sounding-Adjective-Here Spider-Woman)

 

Spider-Gwen, Spider-Gwen,
Does it better than Spider-Men.
Spins a web, to and fro,
Nothing like this white widow.
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Gwen!

Is she strong? Listen bud,
She’s got radioactive blood.
It’s a gift and a curse,
Spinning out of Spider-Verse.
Hey, there!
There goes the Spider-Gwen!

In the chill of night,
At the scene of a crime,
Like a streak of light,
She arrives just in time!

Spider-Gwen, Spider-Gwen,
Friendly neighborhood Spider-Gwen. 
There is nothing you must fear,
Insert-Cool-Adjective-Here.
To her, life is a great big bang up.
Wherever there’s a hang up,
You’ll find the Spider-Gwen!

My Thoughts On The All-New, All-Different Marvel Books

So, I went ahead and got the free preview book for the All-New, All-Different Marvel, which begins in October. As such, I’d like to give my thoughts on a few specific ones, general looks at the rest, and just talk about a few things I feel might be missing from the new Marvel Universe as a whole, as it’s being shown here. Also, not gonna bother talking about the ones already revealed that I talked about before, so if you notice some rather notable books missing from this article, click here to see if I mentioned them already. Let’s start off with probably the obvious…

Additional Avengers Books

I told ya. ^_^ So, in addition to the All-New, All-Different Avengers, AKA Earth’s Mightiest Most Dedicated Heroes, and the all-superheroines A-Force, we’ve got a couple other Avengers teams. The first is the Uncanny Avengers which, as shown above, will star Rogue, Steve Rogers, Human Torch, Doctor Voodoo, Quicksilver…um, some woman I don’t recognize, the Amazing Spider-Man, and the back-from-the-dead Deadpool…because, let’s be honest, we knew he would be. lol The other team is the New Avengers, which will star Songbird, Hulkling, Wiccan, Hawkeye, Squirrel Girl, and Sunspot as part of the new Avengers Idea Mechanics. On top of that, there’s a new Illuminati book, which apparently is now about a team of villains, and a new Ultimates book, which features Black Panther, Blue Marvel, Miss America, Captain Marvel, and Spectrum going up against Galactus. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is getting written by one of the show runners for Arrow, of all people. Howling Commandos of S.H.I.E.L.D. will apparently have Dum-Dum Dugan teaming with Elsa Bloodstone and the monsters of the Secret Wars Howling Commandos. And lastly, there’s gonna be a Contest of Champions book, which may or may not tie into the game, and has Maestro pitting heroes against one another in an arena. And that’s not even the end of the team books, because guess who?

The X-Men Titles

Yup, you can put down the riot helmets and posters, they’re still around, folks. We have three books with the name X-Men in them: Extraordinary X-Men (Storm, Iceman, Colossus, time-displaced Jean Grey, Old Man Logan, Nightcrawler, and Magik), All-New X-Men (time-displaced Beast, Iceman, Cyclops, and Angel, along with the All-New Wolverine), and Uncanny X-Men (Magneto, Mystique, Sabertooth, Psylocke, and Fantomex). There’re also three other X-Men related books: Old Man Logan, which features the aged Logan existing in this new world, All-New Wolverine, which has X-23 stepping into the role, and Deadpool…’nuff said there. XD Supposedly, in the eight month gap between Secret Wars and the new books (which I’m guessing they’ll fill us in on later), there was some sort of incident between Mutants and Inhumans, which will help explain this new status quo for the two sides, as present day Beast will be joining the Uncanny Inhumans as a result of that.

Spider-Man Incorporated?

In addition to the Spider-Man book I mentioned starring Miles Morales, as well as the relaunched Spider-Gwen, there are several other Spider-related books coming out. Amazing Spider-Man will have Peter launching a new and improved Parker Industries worldwide, bringing back the Spider-Mobile, and pulling the old Tony Stark trick by having his superhero identity be his ‘bodyguard’. Also, for those wondering, he’s not still married from Secret Wars, and the book will probably never even mention what happened in One More Day, so don’t expect to see me buying this…which is sad, because otherwise, this looks like it’ll be nice, crazy fun. Web Warriors will feature Spider-Gwen teaming up with Spider-Girl, Spider-Ham, and a few other Spider-Men from various realities as some sort of Spider-Man Incorporated-like team…because why not at this point? Silk is ‘apparently’ turning heel, although I don’t know if I buy it just yet. Carnage is coming back after sacrificing himself during AXIS, so it’ll be interesting to see if he’s still a hero or not. Spider-Man 2099 is sticking around, with a new costume to boot. Then there’s Venom: Spaceknight… … …If Rom doesn’t show up, I’ll be so sad. lol Before I continue, though, there’s something specific I need to discuss…

Spider-Woman PREGNANT?!?!

…Yeah, Spider-Woman’s a mom now. And, as I understand it, the new books pick up approximately 8 months after the end of Secret Wars, so I think the implication is that Jessica is about a month or two away from delivering the baby… … …Okay, first off, I will admit to having to stop myself from squeeing at the idea of Jess having a baby. lol Also, I DO kinda find the whole single-mom-being-a-superheroine schtick kinda awesome. However, if I’m correct and the implication is that she’s still active as a heroine while carrying the baby, can I just ask one question: WHY?!?! That is super dangerous, not only to Spider-Woman, but to the baby! Now, maybe I’m way off, and the series actually picks up with her either finding out she’s pregnant or as she’s having the baby, but I REALLY hope she’s not putting on the costume and gliding through the night skies while carrying the kid. Also, who is the father? Is she even dating anyone currently? Oh, PLEASE don’t let this be another ‘mystical pregnancy’ storyline. I learned of Avengers #200 just last year, and I still haven’t gotten the bad taste outta my mouth. Otherwise, though, as I said, kinda excited to see the kid. lol

Uchuu KITAAAAAAAAAA!!!

500 geek points to the first person who gets that reference. ^_^ Also, a million geek points says that’s Kitty Pryde posing as Star-Lord in the new Guardians of the Galaxy book. With that said, two questions come to mind: Where is her fiancé (the new Star-Lord book SUGGESTS time travel, but I have no idea), and what’s with all the dudes on the team besides her? It’s Thing, Drax, Venom, Rocket, and Groot, with Rocket as the only one who isn’t some buffed up powerhouse. I know Gamora left (and I’ll get back to that later), but where’s Captain Marvel? Mantis? ANY of the other space-faring superheroes that aren’t bulky dudes? Other than that, as I said, Star-Lord looks like he might be travelling through time, the Uncanny Inhumans are gonna be kicking ass as the next big superhero team, Drax is entering the interstellar octagon, Angela might be running Hel, Karnak is getting a solo title, and Nova has Sam teaming up with either his dad or Richard Rider, I can’t tell. And Howard the Duck is getting a relaunched solo where even the creative team are openly acknowledging how silly it is to relaunch it so soon.

SO MANY SOLOS! XD

Getting back to the Avengers, there are a lot of them getting their own solo books, so let’s do a quick rundown of each. Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers will apparently be in the middle of a schism of some sort in ‘Sam Wilson, Captain America’, which could get more than a little awkward for the foreseeable future. Ms. Marvel is gonna be fangirling like a crazy person over the fact that she’s an Avenger (and in record time), which I can’t wait to read. The Totally Awesome Hulk is more than likely gonna turn out to be Amadeus Cho, all things considered, especially given that both Greg Pak and Frank Cho LOVE the guy. Daredevil is supposedly gonna be teaming up with Gambit… … …’kay. Doctor Strange, Invincible Iron Man, and Captain Marvel, already said my piece on them. All-New Hawkeye might be All-OLD Hawkeye, as Clint Barton may be joining in the old heroes club for some reason and having a clash of some sort with Kate Bishop…not sure what’s going on there. Scarlet Witch is finally getting a solo book that will last longer than 4 issues. Vision is starting a new robotic family…in which family sitcom hijinx are almost certain to follow. lol Astonishing Ant-Man is apparently going back to his villainous ways, although he’s got his fingers crossed on the cover, so probably a ruse. And then there’s the last book I wanna talk about…

The Mighty Thor

Okay, I had a big talk about this on Deviant Art recently, and I gotta be honest with you guys about this. While I like the idea of Jane Foster in the role, there exists many problems with it and this book in general. Now, her getting the name Thor doesn’t bother me as much as a lot of people, since it’s not like she’s a usurper or anything, Odinson GAVE the name to her. What bothers me is that this is the only time someone else has taken up the hammer and kept the name Thor, unlike in the cases of Beta Ray Bill and Thunderstrike. Also, the mystery behind what Fury said to Odinson probably won’t pay off in the long run, Odin is being a colossally sexist douchebag for reasons that are out of character for even him, and Jane’s voice and mannerisms just feel off for the character, although her inner monologue makes up for it a little bit. And how the hell did the inscription on the hammer change anyway (which should probably have had the inscription instead say ‘if THEY be worthy’ from the beginning, as opposed to the former ‘he’ or current ‘she’. More gender neutral, and let’s face it, women have held the hammer before now anyway)? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very excited to see her as a member of the Avengers post-Secret Wars, and seeing Odinson still be active and badass is good, but it feels kinda tainted by, I’m sorry, bad writing. So, what would I have done differently? I would’ve had Jane gain Mjölnir for a short time, then do what they did with Thunderstrike by having her gain a new hammer of her own with her own badass identity while Thor regains Mjölnir and have the two running at the same time as God and Goddess of Thunder. And before you think it wouldn’t sell well, I would just like to remind that, back in the day, Thunderstrike at one point was vastly out-selling Thor.

So, that’s all well and good, but what’s missing from this equation? Well, looking at the books present and the characters on the banners, I notice that Black Panther only shows up in the Ultimates book so far, Inferno isn’t appearing on the cover for Uncanny Inhumans and may have been swapped out for Reader, and Citizen V and Red Wolf have yet to show up at all. Other than those present on the banners, though, the most notable absentee from the new books is probably Black Widow, which is odd since her solo title was doing really well. Further compounding her absence, however, is a rumour on Twitter I’ve been trying to track back to its source regarding her possible DEATH. I don’t know where this rumour started, but if it’s true, I can tell you for a fact that a lot of people are gonna be ticked off. Other absentees are Gamora, who is supposed to be getting her own book soon, the Fantastic 4, although I already assumed that would be happening, Loki, who has been on a huge roll since the first Avengers movie came out, All-New Ghost Rider, who just got started last year, and while they’re on team books, it’s odd that Rocket Raccoon, Storm, Squirrel Girl, and She-Hulk’s solo titles are apparently not being renewed. As such, I get the feeling this isn’t all there is planned.

Anyway, that’s all I gotta say about the new books so far. Lemme know what you think in the comments section, and we’ll see if any more books get announced between now and October. Ja né!