Tales of Dumbassery – Tweens and Their Balls (Not Those, You Pervert)

Y’know, this morning my ankles were so sore I thought my feet would fall off. Now my brain is so sore, I feel like it’ll pop out. Why? Because I have once again delved into…

Anybody who’s been on Twitter or Facebook or a lot of other social media sites knows what a hashtag is. For those who don’t, as Wikipedia will explain, “A hashtag is a word or a phrase prefixed with the symbol #. It is a form of metadata tag. Short messages on microblogging and social networking services such as Twitter, Tout, identi.ca, Tumblr, Instagram, Flickr, Google+ or Facebook may be tagged by putting # before important words, as in: #Wikipedia is an #encyclopedia that anyone can edit.” Some of these are kinda clever, like last night’s #confessyourunpopularopinion, wherein everyone that uses that hashtag confesses to an unpopular opinion, and you can search to see who admitted to what. Of course, they can get repetitive when EVERYONE and their dog uses it. This one, however, just makes me bang my head on my keyboard at how dumb it is…

The Tweens Are Back And Worse Than Ever With The Walmart Ball Pit Trend

According to uproxx.com, “BuzzFeed first informed us of the ‘#ballpit’ meme, which has steadily grown in popularity this week. The concept is simple and infuriating: a no-good tween climbs up the fence separating mankind from rubber balls and jumps in, spilling the uncaged animals; they’re now free to cause mayhem and roll into the women’s underwear section, which is really awkward for Larry when he has to retrieve them.” Oh, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, they have clips via Vine, which you can check out there. Or, if that’s not good enough, they’ve also managed to show up on YouTube!

…You ever get the feeling these are the kinds of people who grew up to make Jackass? Hell, I almost feel like this video is incomplete without the Jackass theme playing.

Don’cha love how people will do this crap, record it, and then post the evidence on YouTube? I have a working theory that these people just don’t like their freedom, at all.

Oh yeah, and of course the most brilliant ones are definitely the ones who go in head first. Because you see, this is done so that the balls will all shoot out the sides and the tweenager can bash their heads on the floor, which is likely the exact reason why I never thought to try this as a kid. And lest anyone forget, I’m the guy who was involved in a loading dock cave-in, had a garage door clonk them in the head, and have pretty much tripped, stumbled, and bashed my head off everything humanly imaginable because I’m a stupid, clumsy oaf. And yet, I NEVER TRIED THIS! When you are making ME marvel at the stupidity that is highly likely to put you in the hospital, BE AFRAID!

I’m actually not sure WHY I’m bothering to post this, since I’m probably just gonna encourage more idjits to go do this. Just remember, though, that when you do this and you find yourself either manhandled by security and/or police, or you find yourself in a hospital bed, it happened because you were a dumbass, nothing more, nothing less. Have fun!

Related articles

• Teens Are Jumping Into Ball Bins At Walmart And Posting The Results On Vine (businessinsider.com)
• Facebook’s Hashtag Will Completely Change the SEO Game (prweb.com)
• Facebook Hashtags: What They Are, How to Use Them (jenifferthompson.com)
• Teens Are Jumping Into Ball Bins At Walmart And Posting The Results On Vine (embargozone.com)
• Using #Hashtags The Right Way (lordgriffinits.wordpress.com)
• This Is The New Walmart Ballpit Meme (buzzfeed.com)
• American youths protest the new spy state by jumping into the ballpits at Walmart and recording it on Vine (slothed.com)

What Am I Doing Wrong? PLEASE TELL ME. (WARNING – ANGRY RANT/WHINING AHEAD)

Okay, what am I doing wrong? Honestly? Why do people care less about my writing that I put actual creative effort into, and more about the most basic frakking thing I can make: Taking a screen capture of an internet show and using a demotivational poster generator to make a poster out of it, like THESE:

In their first day up on DeviantArt, these get anywhere from 3-4 times the number of views a chapter of my story gets. On top of that, I hardly ever ask for comments with those and get ’em easy enough, yet when I ask for comments on my writing (usually my stories, though oftentimes with my blog), asking people what they think or if there’s anything I can do to improve my work, I’m EXTREMELY lucky if I get a comment from anybody outside of my personal circle.  And it doesn’t matter what I do, how I pander, who I ask for RTs on Twitter, or who actually goes out and advertises my stuff (and yes, this HAS happened on occasion without me having to ask), I can’t get people to give a damn. Nothing changes.

Do people not understand that this is the only thing I’m good at? Just writing? And by the way, without a job (having Asperger’s Syndrome and a GED as my best achievement in school doesn’t exactly inspire people to hire me), this is basically what I do for a living, and I don’t even get paid for it? It’s a hobby, plain and simple, but while I wait to join a course run at a place that has failed to help me in every conceivable way for EIGHT YEARS, it’s all I have to do everyday so I don’t go crazy! And even then, I find myself not wanting to do it because apparently it equates to jack shit!

So please, I am begging every person that reads this, tell me what I can do to improve my work. Tell me what I’m lacking, what I need to be better, why people might not care about the work I’m actually passionate about. Because if nobody is gonna care, then I pretty much have no reason to have anybody follow me on here, on Twitter, on Tumblr, or on Facebook.

Tales of Dumbassery – “Thinking Of You” @$$HOLE (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AHEAD)

Well, get out the biggest jar of aspirin you can find, ‘cuz it’s time once again for…

Y’know, it’s funny. In its current form, Tales of Dumbassery very much resembles one of my favourite things to watch online every Saturday: A little show called “WTFIWWY?”…That’s “What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?”. It’s a show hosted by Nash during Radio Dead Air every Monday night that is then posted on his Blip account on Saturday. Hell, I’ve actually parodied the opening to it on Tales of Dumbassery before. So it is definitely an odd scenario to find myself in now, telling a tale that relates back to Nash involving one individual who is either an asshole, or he’s fucking brain-dead!

So, what happened?…Well, allow me to let the following tweet speak for itself.

…Yeah. I can’t believe I actually need to use this again, especially here, but…

What was it, a couple of months ago? A couple of months ago, Nash’s father sadly passed away. Since then, Nash has been trying very bravely to continue his life as it was prior…and then he receives THAT…Naturally, as you can imagine, this has pissed off several people on Twitter, myself included, which is what has led to this article.

Now, I don’t know who sent it. Frankly, I don’t care who sent it. And more-so, I don’t want anyone pointing fingers at who sent it, at least until we get an official word on the subject. But whoever they are, I have the following question…Are you just the biggest prick in the entire world, or are you simply stupid? Or hey, maybe you’re both, I don’t know. It could happen. In fact, now that I think about it, it seems like the most likely possibility. Because, regardless of if you were trying to be mean or not, you can’t have put very much thought into this course of action. It’s just not possible.

…That’s all I got, folks! That’s all I can say. I have no idea what else I could possibly say to a person like that……..well, except maybe this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm8zf7ItVpY

I’m Jyger85, I remember it, and don’t any of you forget it!

Iron Liz’s Birthday Coming Up Soon

So I was chatting with Christy earlier, and apparently one of our favourite Internet Reviewers is celebrating a birthday very soon: None other than Elizabeth Skochil, AKA Iron Liz of the Pen & Paper Corner. In fact, it’s this Tuesday. As a result, the two of us decided to scramble to try to get all her fans across the internet to come together under her fan group on Facebook and come up with an idea of something we could do for her as a group. So please, if you like Iron Liz’s work, if you’re a fan of hers, stop on by, we’ll come up with something together.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/126545517387860/

Also, if you’ve never heard of Iron Liz and are interested in Tabletop RPGs, check out her show here…

http://blip.tv/the-foundry