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N. Harmonik’s Blind Reaction To Death Battle: Dante vs Bayonetta (And I’m There Too, lol)

Welp, here’s N. Harmonik and I’s reaction the newest Death Battle, Dante vs Bayonetta, as well as the first episode of DBX. First up, the analysis…

…And now, IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLLLLEEE!!!

What’s A Paladin Rant

…You’ve all seen it. You all know what this is about. This is about quite possibly the dumbest line ever uttered in a video game EVER.

Y’know, I should make something clear: I haven’t played the Ultima games. I suppose I’d have never even heard of them if not for Spoony. However, having watched the Ultima Retrospect and then read up on some of the backstory, I can see why someone would be VERY upset by the sheer dumbassery of statements like this (though honestly the Avatar asking what the Codex of Infinite Wisdom is actually ticks me off worse).

Now, I get it. I get why those lines are in there, because EA wanted to have the Avatar ask these questions for the benefit of those that are just jumping into the series and might not know these things. Problem is that logic falls apart when you realise this is the NINTH entry into the main series (tenth if you count Ultima 7 Part 2). Who is gonna play this game that hasn’t either A) Played the previous games, or B) Read up on the other games so that they aren’t completely lost on the backstory? But just on the off-chance that there was someone playing that didn’t do either of those, there are better ways. Take for example Kingdom Hearts. In Kingdom Hearts 3D, there is a section of the game that is updated at times to continuously feed you additional information on what happened in the previous games so that you know what happened in case you didn’t play them. Now what’s so hard with doing that? Oh, but that’s right, not only does Ultima IX force feed you info with stupidly written dialogue, sometimes the information is plain old WRONG!

Now again, I don’t play the Ultima games, so maybe it’s odd that I come across as ticked off as I am. Well, it’s basically because this is not the ONLY series of games EA has screwed over, and with it becoming an alarming trend, I’m worried it’ll eventually affect games I DO play. Again, take Kingdom Hearts. What if Kingdom Hearts 3 came out and at every turn it contradicted everything to ever happen in the series? Like it turned out Sora and Riku were brothers (or boyfriends if you ship that, :P), or Sora DID become a Keyblade Master at the end of 3D, or Master Xehanort was Sora’s father. I’d have a similar reaction to Spoony’s over Ultima IX if that happened.

So yeah, that’s my take on all this, and EA, you officially fail.