Talk Poké To Me

… … …So, you know that video I shared of Steven Stone singing Talk Dirty?

Well, ever since I saw that, I’ve been wanting to write new parody lyrics to the song. So…yeah, I’m doing this again. Steven? Get Razz~y on it. 😛

I’m that Surf that you get on, inter-regional
First class seat on my Lapras, riding comfortable
‘Cause I know what the ‘mons them need,
Kalos to Kanto
I got Jynx Heart Stamps on my passport,
You make it hard to go

Been around the world, don’t speak the language
But your ‘mons don’t need explaining
All I really need to understand is
When you talk Poké to me
Talk Poké to me
Talk Poké to me
Talk Poké to me
Get Razz~y on it

Two Possible New Mega Evolutions In Pokémon ORAS + New Legendaries Found…In The Sky??? (UNCONFIRMED)

So, there’s been a new batch of supposed CoroCoro leaks that have surfaced. Now, these leaks are usually fairly solid, but until they’re confirmed by Nintendo, these will have to be marked as unconfirmed. Mostly, the leaks talked about Mega Latios and Mega Latias, which we’ve actually known about for like a year now, and it also mentioned how you can find the Legendary Dragons Dialga, Palkia, Reshiram, and Zekrom in this game. Now, the remakes have oftentimes had new Legendary Pokémon added, but here’s where it gets…weird. According to the photos in this leak, the Dragons are actually found hovering over otherwise unreachable islands. How do you reach them? Well, apparently you can ride Mega Latios and Mega Latias on the overworld through an item called the Eon Flute, and that there’s actually a few Pokémon you can find in the sky, which I assume are basically Wild Sky Battles. Again, this is something that could very well turn out to be a hoax, so take that for what it’s worth.

In addition to that, though, we’ve got two new Mega Evolutions possibly confirmed, Mega Pidgeot and Mega Beedrill, and WOW, we’re going WAY back with these two, huh? I mean, these two and their earlier forms were on a LOT of people’s early (and sometimes not-so-early) teams in the original games. Anyway, let’s take a look at these two, although since they’re unconfirmed, I’ll spare you the evaluation time. lol

Mega Beedrill

If Vespiquen is the Queen of the hive, Mega Beedrill is clearly the King. Just look at this thing! Forget Twineedle, this thing’s signature move should be called Quintuplet Needle. If this thing was available back in the old days, it would never leave people’s teams. Apparently, its type remains Bug/Poison, but it gains the Ability Adaptability, meaning attacks it uses that are the same type as itself get even MORE power, and its already decent physical Attack and Speed are given boosts. I do hope, though, that if this turns out to be real, that Butterfree gets a Mega Evolution as well.

Mega Pidgeot

Mega Pidgeot is definitely a welcome surprise. And Goddamn if I haven’t been waiting for Pidgeot to get something new and awesome to make it useful. Here’s the thing that people have gotta be kicking themselves over, though: Ruby and Sapphire chronologically take place at around the same time as Red and Blue. That means that, if Mega Evolution had been a thing since the first games, Pidgeot would’ve had the ability to Mega Evolve since the beginning. Anyway, Mega Pidgeot keeps its Normal/Flying-type, and it gains a boosted Special Attack and the Ability No Guard, meaning both it and its opponent gain 100% accuracy for ALL of their moves.

Anyway, lemme know what you think of these, if you think they’re bogus, and which Pokémon you’d like to see Mega Evolve in the future. Ja né!

A Look At The New Mega Evolutions In Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire – It’s Evaluating Time!

So, due to the hiatus I took this year, I haven’t really talked at all about the upcoming remakes of the 3rd Generation Pokémon games, Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Naturally, because Mega Evolutions have been a big thing in this current generation’s Pokémon games, they are releasing a bunch more with these games, which is what I wanted…although, looking back on things, this makes the timeline of the Pokémon games kinda confusing. Think about it: With these remakes being made in Generation VI, and including the new game mechanics introduced in X & Y, that means that Fairy-type Pokémon and Mega Evolutions have been around since the time of Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald, which is stated to take place at roughly the same time as Red/Blue/Yellow/FireRed/LeafGreen. But hey, I suppose it wouldn’t be the first major retcon to the timeline to include newer game mechanics. The Pokémon games have always been a little loose with their history…except that, with some of the more recent games, it felt like they were trying to tell better stories, and part of that means being mindful of the timeline, so-

Alright, alright! Jeez, call the blog ‘Jyger’s Rant’, and they still get pissed when you go off on a tangent. Point is, new Mega Evolutions in the Hoenn games. So, who are these Pokémon? You just sit right there, and I’ll show you, because…

It’s Embarrassingly-Too-Close-To-The-Camera-But-We’re-Just-Gonna-Go-With-It-Because-We’ve-Only-Got-This-One-Take EVALUATING TIME!!!

So, let’s start with…

Mega Sceptile

 

So, right off the bat, we got one of the Pokémon I specifically requested get a Mega Evolution. Why? Because if Blaziken were the only Hoenn Starter Pokémon to Mega Evolve, it would leave the three unbalanced, and too many people might wind up choosing Blaziken. Mega Sceptile is a Grass/Dragon Pokémon, meaning you wanna keep it the hell away from Ice and Fairy-type Pokémon, has changed its Ability to Lightning Rod, and can fire the tree-like tip of its tail as a projectile in battle…DAMN. I can’t wait to see this thing in combat, though I think I’ll be starting Omega Ruby with…

Mega Swampert

Hell yeah, now we’re talking! I was already planning to start the game with Mudkip, and now I KNOW that was a good choice. The already tank-like Swampert has gained extra bulk, which I would imagine probably drops its Speed a bit, but it also gains Swift Swim as its new Ability, meaning that drop in Speed won’t mean a thing in the rain. Of course, since it’s still a Water/Ground-type, that means it has a quadruple weakness to Grass-types, but honestly, you wouldn’t want to send it out to face them anyway, and given that that’s its single weakness, the opposition is gonna have to be super tough or have lightning-quick wits to stop this badass Mud Fish.

Mega Slowbro

…Oooooookayyyy…So, apparently, Mega Evolution causes the Shellder that latched onto Slowpoke’s tail to grow to such a size that it’s almost ready to consume the poor bastard. o.O Anyway, weirdness factor aside, Mega Slowbro naturally gains a boost to its Defense and Special Defense and the new Ability Shell Armour, what with the shell now engulfing most of its body. Sounds awesome, but I hope that this doesn’t mean Slowking is getting left in the dust. Also, tell me you don’t think Beyblade when you see that thing. lol

Mega Sableye

Another Pokémon I was hoping would receive a Mega Evolution, as not only does it manage to keep up with Mawile, but it also has something new to defend itself with: Magic Bounce. After all, part of the allure of Pokémon like Sableye was that they had no exploitable type weakness. With the Fairy-type now present, that advantage has been negated, as they are now vulnerable for the first time. Still, Mega Sableye looks to be a viable option for any team, though I should note that the new Ability and boosted defensive stats come at the cost of some of its Speed.

Mega Sharpedo

Evidently Team Aqua Leader Archie’s Mega Pokémon in Alpha Sapphire, Mega Sharpedo takes the killer shark motif and puts it on frigging steroids. Not much else is known about it, as it was just announced recently, but it IS known to have Strong Jaws as its Ability, and it gains increases to ALL of its stats. I feel bad for the poor bastard that gets Alpha Sapphire and has to tangle with this thing… … …Erm, sorry N. Harmonik.

Mega Camerupt

While it may not look to be on the same threat level as Mega Sharpedo, appearances can be deceiving, and Team Magma Leader Maxie wouldn’t choose a weaker Pokémon to be his Mega. Mega Camerupt comes complete with Sheer Force as its Ability, and an increase to all of its stats, save for a decrease in its Speed, which could prove to be its only real flaw. Still, as anyone who has played the Generation III games knows, Camerupt ain’t no pushover…though they CAN be kinda dumb.

…Anyway, continuing…

Mega Altaria

I didn’t think it was possible for Altaria to have its head any further up in the clouds, but here we are. lol Y’know, going back to Chuggaaconroy for a sec, he must find this hilarious, because now half of his team from his Emerald Let’s Play can Mega Evolve (Moegami the Blaziken, Pandora the Absol, and Altair the Altaria), and his Emerald team (poor Pandora in particular) got a lot of criticism as he was going through the LP, though I think most of them shut up when Pandora made quick work of two members of the Elite Four. But anyway, Mega Altaria is now a Dragon/Fairy-type, gets increased offensive stats, and to compliment this new typing, it gains the Ability Pixilate, which turns Normal-type moves into Fairy-type moves and gives them a 30% boost in power. And if you think a Dragon/Fairy-type spewing Hyper Beams that get same type attack bonus AND a 30% bonus on top of that isn’t frigging terrifying, you either haven’t been playing long or need therapy. STAT.

Mega Salamence

Because what’s better than one terrifyingly powerful Mega Evolved Dragon? TWO! Although at least with Salamence, you kinda expect that, whereas Altaria welcomes you to die while you’re laughing your uneducated ass off. Despite still being a Dragon/Flying-type, and thus vulnerable to Ice and Fairy-types, Mega Salamence gets a big boost to its Defense, and gains the Ability Aerilate, which is the Flying-type equivalent of Pixilate, so basically, Flying-type Hyper Beams and Giga Impacts with STAB and a 30% power increase. All in all, between this and Altaria, I’d say Garchomp’s days as being the #1 Dragon are highly numbered.

Mega Metagross

I don’t know why this thing has a Mega Evolution, other than just because it could, and just so Steven could be even more powerful (like he needed it, since he’s gotta rank in the Top 3 or 5 in terms of champs in the games). Well, that and Mega Metagross is fun to say. lol It has the Ability Tough Claws, gets a big increase to Speed, and the rest of its stats get an increase as well. If I survive the final battle with Steven without mass grinding (stop laughing, you know what I mean, though I would certainly tap Steven if he was real, XD), it’s only because they gave us an Exp. Share or a Lucky Egg or some other item meant to coddle us.

Mega Lopunny

This was one of the Mega Evolutions I was NOT expecting. Not to say I don’t welcome this one or anything, I think it’s cool, it just wasn’t one I was thinking would happen. Anyway, Mega Lopunny is a Normal/Fighting-type, which would normally mean it would suck against Ghost-types, right? WRONG! Mega Lopunny’s Ability is Scrappy, meaning it can hit Ghosts with Normal and Fighting-type attacks. Add in the increases to its Speed and Attack, and this is one funky fresh rabbit you don’t wanna mess with.

Mega Gallade

This is one I DID hope would happen. Really, it’s because Gardevoir got a Mega Evolution, so it felt like Gallade needed this to stay relevant. Don’t know much about Mega Gallade, though, since it was just revealed, but we know that its new Ability is Inner Focus, and it is apparently used by Wally, meaning that in the remakes, he no longer has a Gardevoir, but a Gallade. But that’s okay, because Gardevoir still remains a well-known Pokémon for being the ace on Diantha’s team.

Mega Audino

The first Pokémon native to the Unova Region to gain access to Mega Evolution, Audino keeps Healer as its Ability, and gains additional defensive strength. Not a heck of a lot else known about it, but it looks neat, and it’s nice to see Audino being used as something other than quick and easily earned Experience Points… … …Oh, don’t look at me like that! You know you exploited the hell outta the extra Exp. that Audino gave out when you encountered them in the wild in Black and White. lol

Mega Diancie

Lastly, we have Mega Diancie, who is a Legendary Pokémon from the Kalos Region that wasn’t even available normally in the game, and whose Mega Stone is in Hoenn. Confused? Join the club, we’ve got jackets. Anyway, if you aren’t all that familiar with Diancie, it’s a Rock/Fairy-type, and usually has the Ability Clear Body. When it Mega Evolves, it gains Magic Bounce as its Ability, and gains a big boost in Speed, while its defensive stats are lowered in favour of improving its offensive stats.

So, that’s all the Mega Evolutions confirmed for now…but it’s not all of the Pokémon in Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire to change form. Presenting, PRIMAL REVERSION!

Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre

Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre are the new, more powerful forms for the Hoenn games’ version mascots. The method by which they transform to these states is unknown, but I have a theory: Look at the lines on Groudon and Kyogre in their normal states. Groudon’s are blue, and Kyogre’s are red. This is apparently because, when awakened by Maxie and Archie, the wrong orbs were used to awaken them. However, in these forms, they have yellow lines, not unlike Rayquaza. This seems to suggest that their Primal forms are their true forms, or perhaps advanced forms that make them even more powerful than Rayquaza. Whether or not Rayquaza gains a new form of its own is unknown, but it seems to be heavily implied that it does.

So far, all that’s known about these two are that Groudon becomes Ground/Fire-type, and they each gain a different stat boost, a new Attack, and Ability. Primal Groudon gets additional Attack, knows a new move called Precipice Blade, and gains the Ability Desolate Land, while Primal Kyogre gets a Special Attack boost, learns a new attack called Origin Pulse, and gains a new Ability called Primordial Sea. All I know about the new attacks are that they hit multiple targets. The Abilities, however, create harsh sunlight/rainfall, negate all other weather conditions from being triggered, and stop Water-type/Fire-type moves from working until the user of the Ability leaves the field. And no, I don’t know what happens if both Primal Pokémon are on the field at the same time, but if I had to guess, either the first to get out on the field has their Ability triggered only, or their Trainers inadvertently trigger the apocalypse. lol

So, that’s all of ’em, right? WRONG! Introducing, COSPLAY PIKACHU!

Cosplay Pikachu

…Okay, for those that don’t know, I’m gonna make this clear: I am not kidding. This is a thing now. LOL Cosplay Pikachu is a special Pikachu, apparently female, that can change form to gain different attacks and specialize in different Contest stats. Not sure how it does this, where you get it, or if it keeps these moves upon changing again, but whatev. Going from left to right, Pikachu Ph. D. specializes in Smart moves and learns Electric Terrain, Pikachu Belle specializes in Beautiful moves and learns Icicle Crash, Pikachu Rock Star specializes in Coolness moves and learns Meteor Mash, Pikachu Pop Star specializes in Cuteness moves and learns Draining Kiss, and my personal favourite, Pikachu Libre, specializes in Toughness moves and learns the 619. I-I mean, the Flying Press. lol

So, that’s all of ’em, FINALLY! Lemme know what you think of them, what your planned teams for Pokémon ORAS are, and I’ll see you back here when more news comes out. Ja né!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

………’ORAS’……..Hmmm…

What Needs To Be Done If Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire Are Remade

So, a ton of hints have been released here and there that Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire may be finally up for remakes in the near future. Personally, I would LOVE this, but at the same time, I also gotta address some of the things they need to change, besides the obvious (Gen III mechanics switched to Gen VI mechanics, 3D graphics, etc.), as well as some stuff they need to add to the Pokémon found in the game. So, let’s take a look…

#1 – New Mega Evolutions

Specifically, Sceptile and Swampert need Mega Evolutions. Why? Because otherwise, Blaziken has an advantage over the two that might lead to too many players choosing it to start off with. Otherwise, the only other two I can think of that really NEEDS one are Sableye, as Mawile has one and it’s its version exclusive counterpart, and Gallade, as Gardevoir has one and it’s its alternate evolution. Speaking of which…

#2 – Additional Pokémon For The Hoenn Dex

Not too many more, mind you. Mostly, just some of the Pokémon that evolve to and from ones already in Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald. In other words, Pokémon like Gallade, Probopass, Chingling, Magnezone, etc. Also, thinking maybe Houndour, as it became a version exclusive counterpart to Electrike in X & Y, Eevee, for kinda obvious reasons, and Snubbull, so that there’s some more pure Fairy-types. Otherwise, all of the Fairy-types in Hoenn are dual-types.

#3 – Bring Back The Contest Halls

Much as I like the Battle Tents, I also love the Pokémon Contests, so I think I’d wanna compromise by bringing back the old Contest locations, but have only some of them be in place of the Battle Tents, while the Contests and Tents not in their original locations go to other towns that have neither.

#4 – Incorporate Some Of The Emerald Changes

Since the games would be remakes of the originals, the core story would have to be the same as the original two as opposed to Emerald, but some changes they made in Emerald would be welcome as well. For example, making Juan the Gym Leader, Wallace the Champion, and Steven the final optional boss could work. A few of the aesthetic changes work too, like replacing the Machoke movers at the beginning with Vigoroth (‘cuz I’m sick of the Machoke my chicken joke). Also, some of the new locations like the Battle Frontier, Faraway Island, and Naval Rock could be awesome to see.

#5 – Change Up Some of The Teams/Rival Encounters

I would like it a lot if you had more battles with Brendan/May and Wally throughout the games, as they’re supposed to be your primary rivals and you hardly ever encounter them in battle. Would also be nice to have team-ups with them in Double or even Triple Battles. Would also be nice if they got full teams of six and having May’s starter and Wally’s Gardevoir be able to Mega Evolve. Likewise, the Gym Leaders and Elite Four could use some change-ups to their Emerald version teams. Maybe replace one of Roxanne’s Geodudes with a different Rock-type, Flannery’s Numel could be swapped out for Houndour or Vulpix, Phoebe could have Dusknoir and Shedinja instead of the second Dusclops and Banette, Glacia could have Froslass and Glaceon instead of the second Glalie and Sealeo, and Wallace’s Gyarados could Mega Evolve. The only other major team changes I would make is that I would give Maxie a Mega Houndoom, Archie a Mega Gyarados, and Steven a Mega Aggron.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. Leave a comment below, lemme know what you think of these changes, add any of your own, and so on, and let’s hope I’m correct and that Ruby and Sapphire will be remade soon. Ja né!

Related articles

• Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire Versions (bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net)
• Pokemon Spotlight: Lanturn (wordpress.com)
• Chuggaaaconroy – Let’s Play #17: Pokémon Emerald (youtube.com)
• MANGA REVIEW: “POKEMON ADVENTURES” VOLUME 20 (lesleysmusings.com)