Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 7.2

Not THAT handily. Like I said, Giovanni’s Kangaskhan can actually be kinda tough.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I found out that the Silph Scope, required to identify the ghosts of Pokémon Tower, had been stolen by Team Rocket. As such, I stormed their hidden base underneath the Rocket Game Corner and defeated their boss, Giovanni, thus reclaiming the Silph Scope. This time, I headed back to Lavender Town to enter the Pokémon Tower, find Mr. Fuji, and uncover the truth of what was happening. However, almost as soon as I made my way to the second floor of the tower…

…Tim? There are days I worry that I enjoy beating the shit outta you and your team a little TOO much. Cue theme song!

Needless to say, Mikey has gotten a wee bit tougher now that he’s become fully evolved.

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 3!!!

I’m warning you, Tim. I’ve got Ethers, and I’m not afraid to use ’em!

Anyway, after that all-too-casual-by-now ass-kicking, I made my way to the upper floors…and maybe I was a little crazy, but it seemed like something wasn’t quite right…

I know, I’m taking a big leap here, but it just seemed like things weren’t quite ordinary.

Sure enough, after defeating a couple of the Channelers…

…Great. Demonic possession. Rated E for Everyone!

So yeah, the Ghost-type Pokémon in the tower have been possessing the Channelers to battle anyone who tries to ascend to the top. So, after capturing one for myself…

Yeah, I know it was the most obvious thing to call him, leave me alone. lol

…I began battling my way through the Channelers, releasing them from the control of their Ghost-types upon defeat.

Okay, you’re either possessed, or you’re vampires. I don’t care which one, just make up your mind.

Luckily, Edge and Milo are both Normal-type Pokémon with Dark-type moves, so they’re immune to anything the Gastly can use on them but can dish out super effective damage in return.

… …Uhhhhh…

Nnnnnoooope! Nope! Nope! No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NOOO! NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! XD

Just to keep his Special Attack stat high enough to deal with stuff like this.

Oh good, a friendly one!… … …Wait, if this area is purified, why not corral all the other Channelers into this spot and let the energies undo the possession?

Anyway, it didn’t take long for me to defeat all the Channelers and free them from their Ghost-type Pokémon. However, just as I reached the staircase leading to the top, where I guessed Mr. Fuji was, I ran into a whole new problem…

… …Aaaaannnnd scared.

OH CRAP, IT’S MISSINGNO. IN ITS GHOST FORM!!! SOMEONE CALL LORD VYCE AND TELL HIM THE ENTITY IS HERE!!! XD

Who’s that Pokémon?!

It’s…Marowak!

…So yeah. Long story short, Cubone’s mother returned from the dead as a spirit of vengeance. In fact, if I may speculate, I’d go so far as to guess that the other Ghost-type Pokémon weren’t really trying to cause trouble as much as get people’s attention. Especially because, as it turned out, Team Rocket was hiding out on the top floor. They’d kidnapped Mr. Fuji when he tried to deal with them himself. After calming Marowak’s soul…

…rather violently, actually…

…I made my way up the stairs to deal with Team Rocket personally.

…THIS.

IS.

FOR.

MAROWAK!!!

One rather violent beat-down set to Through The Fire And Flames later…

You’re lucky I don’t believe in eye for an eye.

Good. After all that, at least she’s at peace now…

…Oh. Well, yeah, I’ll gladly take this, too. I mean, if you really WANT to reward me. lol

Feeling a lot better, I decided it was finally time to wake up the Snorlax south from Lavender Town. However, I knew that, when Snorlax wake up unplanned, that they can attack whatever wakes them in a pretty massive rage. Also, in battle, it could use Rest to recover all damage it’d taken. As such, I came up with a plan: I’d have Poe, immune to all of Snorlax’s attacks and now having learned Hidden Power, hit Snorlax with it to have it lose some health and force it to use Rest, at which point, Poe would then use Spite to reduce Rest’s PP. After Rest was completely depleted, it would then just be a matter of weakening Snorlax enough to get in a Great Ball. That would fall to Martini, who would use Thunder Wave to paralyze Snorlax and leave it vulnerable. But first, I’d have to do some grinding with him, possibly even enough to evolve him into a Dragonair.

Overall, the plan seemed pretty close to perfect… … …so I guess I only have myself to blame for just how badly it went wrong. I was on Route 16, trying to get Martini experience, when we ran into a Doduo. It was one level beneath Martini, so…against my better judgment, I sent him to fight the Doduo, thinking he could handle it alone. One lucky Fury Attack later, and Martini was already low on HP, so my first impulse was to recall him and send out Oswald. Except, in a panic, I’d forgotten that, in FireRed, Doduo learn Pursuit at Level 9, and…

…

…My first loss. First soldier down. And one who would’ve been a HUGE help in the game but I’d barely gotten a chance to get to know, all because I made an error in judgment. N. Harmonik was actually quick to point out that I’d done pretty well for myself to last this long without suffering a loss. Probably to make me feel better, which I appreciate. And yet, all I could think of was “Martini was dead, and it was my fault”. And, after returning to the Pokémon Center, I must’ve gone at least a half hour without doing anything in the game. Finally, I knew the pain of losing a Pokémon. I’m not an idiot, really. I know it’s just a game. And yet, that fact didn’t seem to make me feel much better. I’m pretty sentimental, so losing a Pokémon hit me pretty hard. But, after a while of looking at Martini’s grave…

Yeah, I decided to go with making a box of my PC a cemetery (which I spelled wrong, lol) for dead Pokémon instead of releasing them right away.

…I eventually came to a decision: Never again. I wouldn’t make such mistakes so easily again. I would familiarize myself with the movesets of every Pokémon I encountered from now on and make sure to know my team inside and out, their strengths and limitations. And so, with a heavy heart, I left the Center and made my way to face Snorlax, never forgetting who was left behind.

Met in Celadon City
Level 18 – 19
Even in death, he was merely shaken, but never stirred.

… … …Anyway, I got to Route 12, and used the Poké Flute to wake up Snorlax. As expected, he was PISSED, but fortunately, the plan to force him to use up all his PP for Rest worked. Mikey took care of the rest, and when all was said and done…

Now I just need a bumbling sidekick to follow him around. I’m thinking a Duskull. XD

So yeah, with Pokémon Tower dealt with and Snorlax awoken and caught, I decided to call it a night. Next time, though, I’m probably gonna be doing some traversing around the locations in Kanto I’ve already been to, largely due to another new item I’ll have obtained. Ja né!

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 7.1 (SPECIAL GAMBLING EDITION!)

Tenacity is a must in a Nuzlocke.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I learned about everything going on in the Pokémon Tower in Lavender Town, but to advance up through it, I’d need the Silph Scope prototype in Celadon City. And hey, it wasn’t like there was anywhere else to go or anything else to do, since sleeping Snorlax were blocking not one but two routes, and Saffron City was still under lock-down. Anyway, while looking for the scope, I detoured to the Gym and won the Rainbow Badge. This time, with my team prepared (and cue obligatory shot of my team because I forgot to include one at the end of last time)…

Ta-da. lol

…I decided to check around town and see if I could find any leads on the Silph Scope. Finally, I managed to find a scientist who worked for Silph Co. who claimed that the scope had been stolen by a thief. Given that Team Rocket grunts were pretty much everywhere in this part of town, it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure out what happened. Also, since the small casino in Celadon was named the Rocket Game Corner, it was pretty obvious that this was their hideout. But how to get in without arousing suspicion?

Y’know, I really look at this as win/win. He gets past his gambling problem, and I get a way into the casino. What could go wrong?

…Huh. Well then, it seems the only way to win-I mean, FREE these poor Pokémon is to obtain the necessary coins required to purchase them.

Yeah, note to self: Never go to Vegas. I have no patience when it comes to lining up the slots, preferring to just hit them rapid fire and hope for the best. The results are more often than not piss-off screens like this. 😛

Okay, confession time: In the end, I ultimately decided to just buy enough coins to trade them in for a Dratini.

Anyway, after I’d finished gambling for a bit (leave me alone, I’m 30 years old and will gamble all I fuckin’ well like, lol)…

I love how it doesn’t even give you the option. It just KNOWS you want to push it at this point. And honestly, have you ever found an important looking button or switch in a game and said “No, I do not want to push it”? lol

THE NERVE!

Yeah, spoilers for later in this article, but I thought I’d get one last Mega Punch in here, because I replace it later. Sorry.

Well, that confirms that.

Not gonna lie, MIGHT’VE been overkill. 😛

“Or else” what? You’ll continue doing a shitty-ass job in my general direction?

Who’s eating dreams now, bitch? XD

…Judge Judy, you wanna field this one?

Oh, and as I was beating the crap outta Rocket Grunts, guess what happened? 😀

The quite literal tank of my team has arrived. ^_^

Yes, I think it’s reasonable to suggest that I have a problem with a mafia-esque group who steal Pokémon, have knowingly committed grand theft, and have murdered innocent Pokémon on at LEAST one occasion that I know of.

Funny story: The guards’ strongest Pokémon were a Sandslash and an Arbok. I defeated both with draining attacks: Giga Drain and Dream Eater.

So, YOU’RE the head honcho. Been waiting a while to have a face-to-face meeting with you.

Again, I won’t lie to y’all. Giovanni’s Kangaskhan? One tough momma. I like to think that if these games get remade again to include Mega Evolutions, Giovanni’s Kangaskhan will be able to do so.

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that thus far in this playthrough alone…lol

YOINK! 😛

…Anyway, with all that taken care of, I decided both I and my Pokémon could use a break before heading back to Pokémon Tower. So, with that said, come back in a bit to find out how that went, as well as my attempts to awaken Snorlax… … …and the unfortunate events that occurred as a result. Ja né!

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 6

The team at the beginning of this part.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I got the Flash HM, almost had the shit scared outta me by Milo and a Dugtrio, and made my way to Lavender Town, during which, I taught my team some new tricks, and caught a couple of new team members, like this one…

I am SO sorry, Bro-Orb. lol

…This time, having arrived in Lavender Town, I decided to take a quick look around and see what all was available to me in town. Pretty much immediately, I found the Name Rater’s house, which meant it was time to make a correction. 😀

YUP. XD Also, from now on, I’m gonna be waiting until I can get back to the Name Rater’s house before I give a nickname to my Pokémon. Reason being, I want to be able to check their Natures and whatnot before settling on a name. You’ll see why in a bit…

I’ll never get over the irony that I made it here for the first time with no losses to my team.

Oh…So, like, they captured some poor Cubone’s ma?

… … …OH…

Aw man, I LOVE Mr. Fuji! He’s like one of the best managers ev-…OH, right, sorry. Wrong Mr. Fuji.

Anyway, after checking around, I learned that Mr. Fuji went into Pokémon Tower, the grave-site of all Pokémon in Kanto, but that some kind of ghosts are blocking the means to advance. Without an item called the Silph Scope, I decided to head to the location of a prototype of the device, and the site of my next Gym Challenge: Celadon City. However, as per the norm, I found myself facing down…a ROUTE. FULL. OF. TRAINERS.

Okay, why change his line from “rambling, gambling dude”? Is it to avoid issues of gambling? But there’s still a frigging casino in Celadon. o.O

Not gonna lie, I kinda wish there were Vulpix in this version. Mainly because I’ve seen a lot of Growlithe at this point. lol

Okay, I know I’ve been saying there needs to be more Trainers with evolved Pokémon, but I’m honestly shocked to see Muk this early.

So you’ll switch in the middle of the match when the referee isn’t looking to screw with me?…Wow, I’m making a lot of wrestling references today. lol

I know a lot of people aren’t fans of Double Battles, but I really like them. ^_^

Ohh, I know THAT pain…

Just a touch, but think about this: If you all move in one direction like that, it’ll look really badass. lol

I was gonna hit it with Dig, but every time I hit Pikachu like that, Static kicks in, and that’s SO annoying sometimes.

POKÉMON ON MOTORCYCLES!!!

MY BOY! 😀

Anyway, with all that taken care of, and a new member of the team obtained…

Yeah, to complete the pair with Milo. lol

…I made my way through the second underground path to get to Celadon City…although, I have to ask: The staircases going into both underground paths are the same size, which would indicate that they’re both at the same depth underneath Saffron City… … …So how do they not intersect? I mean, I guess one MUST be under the other, but the physical evidence doesn’t back that up. And yeah, I know, top-down 2D RPG, but it didn’t HAVE to be this way, especially since we’ve had FOUR GAMES (not counting separate versions) where we go to Kanto, and not once has there ever been an attempt to fix the problem.

Goddammit, another one?! -_-

Anyway, I got to Celadon City, and pretty much immediately recognized there might be a problem going on in town.

I know I might be reaching, but I’m pretty sure something’s gone wrong in this city.

…Regardless, I did some digging around town, and couldn’t help but find maybe one or two interesting points of interest. 🙂

You don’t say…

FREEDOM!!! XD

Y’know, I don’t think we EVER got an explanation as to why Eevee was just sitting in a Poké Ball on that desk for no reason. And yeah, regarding his name…

…THIS is another part of why I’ll be waiting to decide on nicknames. I decided to wait and see which Nature Eevee had before committing to a specific evolution. And yeah, I know what everyone says about Flareon, but I still like it.

For now, though, keeping Firefox at the Daycare.

If I need to explain this one, clearly nobody saw Batman Beyond. lol

…Isn’t this town supposed to be really big on keeping the environment clean and stuff?

Hel-loooo, second Double Battle! 😀

I actually really like this Double Battle. It’s a great way to train by using the VS Seeker against this duo over and over.

And thus, a 3’11”, 83.8 lbs. bird obtained the ability to ferry my 5’10”, 200+ lbs. fat ass across the region with no difficulty! 😛

Anyway, shortly after I obtained the Fly HM, I realized that my Pokédex now had 29 pages to it, meaning I only needed one more to obtain the Itemfinder. Now, I could’ve simply given Otis a Fire Stone, too, but I chose to let it learn some new attacks before evolving it. Also, I could’ve fished out a Magikarp from…well, ANYWHERE I hadn’t caught anything already that had water present, to make the 30th page, but I didn’t wanna waste a location on that. Luckily, with Magikarp in mind, I recalled a certain someone I met at the Pokémon Center near Mt. Moon who might have a solution to my problem.

Normally, this would be the worst use of 500 bucks ever, but at this point, that’s kinda chump change. lol

On my way! 😀

YOU GOT A THIIIIINNNG!…50 is going to be a bitch and a half. XD

So, after all that, and a bit of grinding that I wisely chose to keep off-article this time, I was ready to take on the Celadon City Gym, when I found myself with a problem. See, I was planning to go in with Otis, Edge, and Damian. However, you need to Cut your way to the Gym, none of them could learn Cut, and as I’ve noted before, I only ever challenge Gym Leaders using the same number of Pokémon as they have, and the Celadon City Gym Leader, Erika, has three. So, I unfortunately had to cancel Damian’s spot to my team for the Gym Battle and sub him out for Milo. Luckily, that doesn’t apply to the other Gym Trainers, so with him still on my team, I stormed the Gym.

#RememberGourdon

Seriously, why does EVERY girl in this game think I’m a pervert? Did someone staple a sign to the back of my jacket or something saying “Sexual Predator, Keep Away!”? o.O

Oh God, setting the smell Gloom makes ON FIRE. THAT’S gonna have some terrible results.

Y’know what else you shouldn’t like in this Gym? 😀

DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!

Anyway, with the other Gym Trainers defeated, I returned Damian and the rest of my team sans Milo, Otis, and Edge to the PC and took on Erika.

DEATH FROM ABOVE PART 2!!!

I REALLY hate to talk smack on Tangela, but…yeah, it really is the easiest of Erika’s team. To be fair, though, the rest of them are all fully evolved. Why she didn’t have an Exeggutor instead, I have no idea.

I had totally forgotten Milo’s Hidden Power was Flying-type. 😛

And that’s half the badges obtained! 😀

And thus, we’re now at four badges, with the other four still to go. Next time, though, I plan to check out exactly what Team Rocket is doing in Celadon City and hopefully locate the Silph Scope. Ja né!

I forgot to take a photo of my team at the end of this part, so I’m just posting this. lol

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 5

For those wondering, it wasn’t a quick victory. Raichu kept using Double Team over and over. I forget how many times Trinity missed before finally nailing the little bastard. 😛

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I stepped on board the S.S. Anne looking for a party and instead found myself with a bunch of tough Trainers and my Rival all looking for battles. After beating them all and getting the HM 01 to teach my Pokémon Cut, I cut down the branches blocking the way to the Vermilion City Gym and challenged the Gym Leader, ultimately coming out with a win and the Thunder Badge. This time, before making my way to Rock Tunnel (because a certain lazy sleepyhead Pokémon was blocking the fast way to Lavender Town), I decided to trek through Diglett’s Cave to obtain HM 05, which would be necessary to traverse the dark tunnel.

Y’know what’s ironic? Nowadays, Flash has an accuracy of 100%, making it actually kinda useful. Naturally, now that that’s the case, it’s no longer an HM. I’m still waiting for Cut to have a new effect or whatever, only for it to be permanently replaced by Rock Smash. lol

After getting the Flash HM, I decided to go around looking for new items…

SO tempted to make the Pokémon cloned from this Amber part of my team when the time comes.

…visit move tutors I couldn’t reach before…

And yes, THIS is what I’ve been waiting to do with Buttery: Sleep Powder + Dream Eater.

…and decided to re-challenge old Trainers I fought back on Route 3.

Okay, I’m just gonna say this right now: Can you imagine going on a journey as long as this one for real, going through tall grass and rocky caves, in SHORTS?! o.O

At this point, I was feeling pretty good about myself and my team. In fact, as I was on my way back to Vermilion through Diglett’s Cave, because I don’t have anyone that knows Teleport or Fly, I was thinking to myself about how I’ve kept back-ups for my team in my box and at the Daycare, and how I might someday find myself in a situation where someone on my team is going to die and I’ll have to make a choice as to who that is, but ultimately realized that I couldn’t really consider letting any of them die. The six in my party currently had been doing such a good job, and other than for the sake of traversing certain areas or challenging specific Gyms, I saw no reason to split up a winning team and didn’t wanna see any of them die. And just as I was thinking that…

…This game is intent on giving me a heart attack. I just know it.

Fucking Dugtrio pops up outta nowhere. It had never even occurred to me that I might end up running into another one after Trinity. Heck, more often than not, I’ll usually only ever run into ONE Dugtrio in Diglett’s Cave one time and then never again. But now, here one was, at Level 29, facing down Milo, who was at Level 23. I couldn’t recall him, I couldn’t run away. For a few moments, I was frozen thinking that, because I’d chosen not to have a Flying-type out in front, Milo was about to die. And I just remembered thinking to myself about how, it doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are, how strong you think your team is, and how cool a head you can keep, sooner or later, in a Nuzlocke, somebody dies. And there’s no doubt in my mind that that’s the case. No matter who you are, in a Nuzlocke, someday, somebody will die… … … …but, then again…somedays, everybody lives. 🙂

CLOSEST. BATTLE. EVER.

Thank GOD I had an X Attack and an X Defend in my backpack and had neglected to sell them, because otherwise, there’s NO fucking way, with a 6 level difference and a mass power advantage, that Milo could’ve beaten Dugtrio! And as it was, I still ended up having to use a shit-ton of Potions to keep him alive! Also, not kidding here, the last attack before I took Dugtrio out was a Mud-Slap that nailed a critical and reduced Milo’s accuracy. Milo almost died from a FUCKING MUD-SLAP! That would’ve resulted in the worst eulogy EVER! XD Anyway, after that, I opted to move Edge to the front to deal with Diglett for the rest of the trip, and decided to teach Milo Water Pulse in case something like this ever happened again. Oh, and on top of all that, after surviving that battle, Milo proceeded to find a TM 10, which taught him Hidden Power, and apparently, his Hidden Power is Flying-type, meaning he now has a means of taking on Fighting-types. At this point, I might as well just call Milo the Flukemaster.

Oh, and funny story, Drakeman later took out Machop in a single turn with Bullet Seed. It’s almost like him and Milo are trying to out-fluke one another. 😛

So yeah, after all that, I made my way back to Cerulean City and Cut my way to Route 9, where another slew of Trainers were in my way to Rock Tunnel. So, of course, after a quick battle montage…

Yeah, when I’m paralyzed and still getting my turn ahead of you, YOU ARE FREAKING SLOW. lol

… … …KEEP YOUR FETISHES TO YOURSELF!

First time seeing Charmander, if I’m not mistaken. Awesome. ^_^

Y’know, I can’t help but watch this and cringe at the thought of the dental work poor Milo is going to require.

Suffice to say, Dream Eater? Working out well for me. 🙂

…I made it to Route 10 and the entrance of Rock Tunnel. Of course, this meant I had new Pokémon I could obtain, so I opted to take care of that first. Especially since I hadn’t caught anything in a while and still needed new Dex pages.

I was gonna call him Bolder, but I didn’t know his Nature. Wish we could check that stuff before giving nicknames. Also, I kinda forgot to get a picture of the other Pokémon I caught: A Voltorb I named Bro-Orb. I’ll include it in the next part. lol

With that out of the way, and having taught Flash to Bro-Orb, I made my way into Rock Tunnel. Unfortunately, I had to go sans Buttery, since I figured the mass number of Rock-types in Rock Tunnel could end disastrously for her, so she missed out on some training. Will have to make this up to her later. Anyway, I ventured into Rock Tunnel and had Bro-Orb hit the Flash…and I swear, somedays, I feel like we depend on Pokémon hidden techniques far too often to get around. You give me a lamp with plenty of fuel to keep it lit, and I’ll make it through this tunnel with little to no difficulty. But yeah, new dungeon meant another battle montage!

Y’know, I don’t really feel like arguing cute Pokémon vs big ones. I get the points on either side. Still, I’m just gonna say this: In a Nuzlocke, where you’re taking on progressively stronger opponents and criticals can equal death? Go big. There’re exceptions, of course, but for the most part? Bigger is better.

And another Charmander! Kinda weird place to train one, though.

Actually, I have a friend who once cosplayed as Eevee. Was adorable. lol

Heh, funny you should mention that…

And I thought cats hated water. 😛

Something that’s always bugged me about dungeons in Pokémon: Other than Strength puzzles, there aren’t a lot of dungeons that have traditional RPG puzzle solving. That’s more saved for the Gyms. What’s up with that?

So, one or two members of my team learned new tricks in the dungeon…

…I think they may have been concerned that Milo was showing them up. lol

FIRE AWAY! 😀

Okay, gotta ask: Do ALL creepy perverts in the Pokémon world wear bright red and blue? Am I just wearing the wrong clothes or something?

… … … … … …

… … … …Screw it. Pokémon MMD clips, I need you again!

Thank you!

Umm… … …no. lol

Oh hey, it’s one of the missing Dudley Boyz! I guess Big Daddy Dudley had some ‘close friends’ in Kanto, too. XD

Anyway, that was pretty much my trip through Rock Tunnel in a nutshell. Although, that said, just before I got out and into Lavender Town…

…Yyyeah, despite Oswald and Drakeman’s best efforts, I think it’s safe to say that Milo was the MVP of this part. lol Also, while I’m gonna miss him finding items all the time, immunity to paralysis is gonna be great.

But yeah, with that, I safely made it to Lavender Town and rested up my team. Next time, I’ll be checking the town out before heading to Celadon City and gaining my fourth badge, but not before I get a couple of things done, like getting a shot of Bro-Orb. lol Ja né!

For reference, this was my team at the beginning of Part 5…

…and this is my team at the end of it. lol

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 4.2

My team at the beginning of this phase.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I arrived in Vermilion City, but in order to better ready myself both for the Trainers on the S.S. Anne and Lt. Surge, and to increase the number of pages in my Pokédex, I used my new VS Seeker to re-challenge Trainers I’d previously encountered for additional Experience in order to level up and evolve my team. This time, feeling ready for battle, I took my team to the S.S. Anne.

And for those wondering, who have never played these remakes of the original games, yes, the truck is still there, and NO, there is not a Mew under it…though you CAN find a Lava Cookie.

I quickly learned that, while the bulk of the party had ended, there were still a number of rowdy Trainers on board looking for battles. Feeling prepared, I took my team inside and unleashed hell upon the ship’s passengers and crew.

Wish I’d gotten a screenshot of this, but his Growlithe? First time I’ve ever seen Roar fail.

Yeah, I keep hearing about how Trainers on this ship found their Pokémon from all over the place, and yet I think I can count on one hand the number of Pokémon on this ship that you can’t catch or see up to this point.

Like this fellow, for example. ^_^

Or this one. Also, kinda surprised to see that this Tentacool could tank a Confusion as easily as it did. I think it only did like 50% of his HP, and then he smacked Buttery around for her lunch money for a few rounds before he finally went down.

Never has that been more true than in a Nuzlocke Challenge.

See now, this guy investigates Team Rocket from a luxury cruiser and barely gets anything done. If Looker was here with just a suitcase full of disguises, a single Pokémon, and a preteen sidekick, he’d have the organization on its knees by now. lol

Okay, who leaves a Hyper Potion just sitting around in a bucket??? o.O

So where’re Dewey and Louie? 😛 Also, gotta say, I prefer the older Sailor sprites. Made them look a lot more butch.

Oh God, could you imagine if there were only the first 100? There’d be only two Ice-types, seven Psychic-types, no Legendaries, no Eevee, Voltorb wouldn’t be able to evolve, and no Dragon-type Pokémon to speak of outside of Mega Charizard X. o.O

After a while, I managed to beat all the Trainers on board, so I decided to head to the Captain’s cabin, having heard that he was apparently some kind of sword-master who could teach Pokémon how to use Cut to go through branches blocking paths. However, as it turned out, I wasn’t the only one with that idea, as Tim was waiting for me on the way there and itching for a fight.

Okay, I know the idea is to make it seem like our Rival is WAY ahead of us, but I think if he had over 40 Pokémon, he wouldn’t have a team of FOUR.

*sigh* What could’ve been. I suppose I could always get an Abra at the Celadon Game Corner, though. Still, not like I could evolve it into Alakazam anyway…

Hey, you evolved your Starter Pokémon! And it only took you 3 badges and the majority of a lap around the western half of Kanto to do it. -_-

Anyway, having beaten Tim for…God, what is this? The fourth time now? And he’s still ahead of me? Whatever, I beat Tim and made my way into the captain’s cabin, where I-

OH, DEAR LORD, THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER! WEEZING, MUK, AND GARBODOR ARE RECOILING IN DISGUST OVER THAT!

Oh God, the things I do to earn badges…T_T

After much deliberation, I decided not to make Hank my Cut Slave, since that’d mean either grinding him up in levels too or risking his death. Trinity’s a much better choice for now.

Y’know, I get why the original games do this, but why is it, in FireRed and LeafGreen, are you forced to leave the port after the S.S. Anne leaves and can never return to get that Lava Cookie?

So, with Cut in hand, I headed back to the Pokémon Center to heal up and plan for the Gym. With the Trainers inside focusing on Electric-type Pokémon, most of my team would be at a severe disadvantage. As such, I decided to go in with Drakeman, Oswald, and Trinity. With preparations complete, I entered the Gym and took on the slew of Electric-types.

Seriously, how the hell is America canon in the Pokémon World when no other real world country seems to exist? O_O

I’m not even touching this one. 😛

Admittedly, Trinity did most of the heavy lifting in this Gym, but Drakeman and Oswald DID see their share of combat.

Admittedly, I kinda wish Surge’s Raichu was more like it was in the anime: Possessing powerful attacks but lacking any kind of defensive moves.

Three badges, baby! 😀

So, with my third Gym Badge finally obtained, I decided to heal up and call it a day. Next time, I’ll be heading through Diglett’s Cave to go back and get some previously unobtainable items before trekking through Rock Tunnel to get to Lavender Town. Ja né!

Also, I taught Milo Cut since Trinity is instead going to be a back-up Ground-type for Oswald.

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 4.1 (SPECIAL GRINDING EDITION!!!!)

I love these “previously on”‘s that the journal provides. ^_^

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I made my way up through Nugget Bridge and Routes 24 and 25, battling Tim Oak and the various Trainers along the way, caught some new Pokémon, met up with Bill, got a ticket to go to the party on the S.S. Anne, fought some Rockets up to no good, and managed to score the Cascade Badge from Misty. This time, I decided to head south to Vermilion City. Unfortunately, while I could’ve otherwise cut through Saffron City…

Danged dehydrated guards. -_-

…yeah, that was a thing. lol So, instead, I took the underground path and came out in Route 6, on the other side of Saffron, and battled my way through some Trainers.

Yeah, as a matter of fact, there are NO Bug-types on this Route.

Funny story: In Yellow version, these two are replaced by Joe and Giselle from the anime. 😛

… …Screw it, play the damn clip. XD

HEY, someone’s actually got an evolved Pokémon! 😀

…Okay, YOU are just cheating. Also, Jeff meets Camper Jeff. 😛

Anyway, to make a REALLY long story short, I made it to Vermilion City, healed up, went to the Pokémon Fan Club, listened to the chairman talk for God knows how long about his Rapidash in ways that STILL haunt me to this day, got the Bike Voucher, and traded it for a bike back in Cerulean. Afterward, I noticed that my overall Pokédex count was low (in terms of captures), and I realized why: Because I can only catch one Pokémon per Route, and the only other Pokédex pages are provided by gift Pokémon and evolving them and the Pokémon I catch. Unfortunately, battling wild Pokémon and once-off Trainers for experience meant filling up my Pokédex enough to get the items that Professor Oak’s aides have would take FOREVER. On top of that, I also wasn’t feeling great about my levels going into S.S. Anne and battling Surge. Luckily…

YOU GOT A THIIIIINNNG!

…YEAH. So, after catching the Pokémon found in the surrounding area…

Milo and Otis reference, AND I used to sort-of have a cat named Milo. Really, it was a neighbour’s cat, but he liked us more. lol

Get it? Edge? He’s a SPEARow?

THIS bitch almost killed Buttery. It was SO close, I thought for sure she was about to be killed. O_O

…I decided to go about training by battling Trainers and then having rematches via the VS Seeker. However, what ended up happening was that I took SOOOOOO many photos of me grinding levels. So, with that said, here’s a quick rundown of some of the highlights. ^_^

My boy! 😀

Why can’t you be like that other Bug Catcher and have an evolved Pokémon?

Came prepared for you this time, asshole!

NOT how I meant!

Okay, Santanico doesn’t have Intimidate, thank goodness, because there’s NO WAY it should’ve worked here had she.

Butterfree’s actually REALLY good at the Para-fusion combo, and the only reason Buttery doesn’t use it is because…I’m going for something else. 🙂

I was expecting this battle to be a little closer, to be honest.

Not sure, but I think this might be the first case of seeing a Fire-type so far.

Anyway, after a while of that, I was rewarded with the following:

Also, since he’s not a mandrake anymore, I think I’ll be renaming him when I reach Lavender Town.

Pretty sure Edge just replaced Damian on my team, but of course, I’ll keep Damian as a back-up Flying-type and an HM Slave for when I get HM 02.

With all that done, I finally decided to return to Vermilion and head to the S.S. Anne. So, sorry this article turned out to basically be one big grind session, but I figured I’d include it just for funsies, and so that you know just how much time was put into preparing. Anyway, be sure to check in next time for Part 4.2 as I take on the S.S. Anne. Ja né!

The results of my training. A shame Milo won’t get Limber until evolving, because he’d otherwise be great for the Vermilion City Gym.

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 3

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I headed into Mt. Moon, battled several tough Trainers, added new members to my team, evolved a couple of pre-existing ones, took down several members of Team Rocket, and obtained both the Dome Fossil and Moon Stones. This time, starting off in Cerulean City, I decided to prep my team for taking on Misty by battling the Trainers on my way to meeting up with Bill the Pokémaniac, creator of the PC Storage System. Before that, though, I decided to swoop back to Route 4 (the eastern half of it, anyway) and do some training. And, while I was there, I caught a new Pokémon.

No, I’ve never watched From Dusk till Dawn, but I was trying to come up with a nickname for this, and that was the best I could think of. lol

…I’ll be honest, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with this one. Not because I have any kind of issue with Ekans, just that my team has already become a little Poison heavy, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Still, might be a good idea to have it as a back-up. In the meantime, though, I had…slightly different snakes to concern myself with.

“Which is why I only have a team of 4!” XP

I swear, it’s almost like this Abra is here specifically for the purpose of getting the newbie on your team some experience. That said, probably the best use of Leech Life and Astonish I’ve ever gotten.

…Okay, I’m with Petty Artist on this one: You fucking hack evolved your Level 17 Pidgey into a Pidgeotto, but you didn’t evolve your Level 18 Starter? I honestly can’t think of anyway this guy could insult me as a Trainer any more than thinking I couldn’t handle his Ivysaur at this point.

… …Okay, well, I stand corrected. Tim, I’m gonna kill one of your Pokémon the next time we meet.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I decided to make my way to-

…Hel-loooooo. 😀

Honestly, at this point, Oswald’s kinda become my primary battler for dealing with other Poison-types, unless I’m confident that Buttery can get a quick Confusion in without getting hit.

…SERIOUSLY! What IS it with these people not evolving their Pokémon?! Although it was hilariously adorable when I had Oswald use Focus Energy, and then immediately after, the Nidoran did it, like he was trying to copy his big brother or something. 😛

… … …Why, hello, Pork Laser. It’s been a while. WELCOME TO DIE.

YES! 😀

… … …OH…Wait, does that mean the others were all members of Team Rocket, too? Some of them were kinda young to be grunts, is all.

Seriously, what was your plan? That you were somehow going to beat a guy who had taken down five other Trainers with your two Pokémon? It’s not like you were even higher leveled than the rest of them, either. The girl with the twin Nidoran was tougher than you.

Anyway, now that I’d gotten past Nugget Bridge, I found myself with…a grassy patch on Routes 24. This is where I got a little nervous. Not because there was anything in the grass that could kill anyone on my team, but because it is known for being home to ABRA. And…well, I’ve gotten to know my luck as it pertains to rare Pokémon at this point. If I ran into Abra, there was no way I was gonna catch one before it could teleport away, and that’d be TWO ROUTES locked off on my journey at that point. So, with fingers crossed, I entered the patch of grass, and…

Fuck, I’ll take it! I don’t even care that I named it after Hank Pym, I’ll take it! XD

So, with that done, I let out a sigh of relief…and then recalled that Abra was on Route 25 as well. Because why not at this point? I also knew there were Kakuna on Route 25, too, so I decided that, so I wouldn’t end up wasting that Route on the evolved form of a Pokémon I already had, that I should first evolve Hank.

And since I’d gone to the trouble of getting a Kakuna, I thought “What the hell, let’s go all the way to Beedrill.” So…

Aww, he looks so happy to be fully evolved… … …I wonder if I should tell him I’m planning to use him as my Cut HM Slave? 😛

And thus, with a Beedrill in my box, I headed for Route 25 and waited to see what I’d find…

…Well, I think I know who is gonna be fighting Misty’s Staryu. 🙂

Now that I’d caught a couple of new Pokémon, I decided it was time to make my way to Bill’s, while training my team up for Misty by battling the Trainers and wild Pokémon in the area. And thus, TRAINING MONTAGE TIME!

Hmm, not quite as epic as Mr. Satan’s, but good nonetheless. lol

“Sempai noticed me! And then he blew me the fuck away!” XD

It’s always strange to find someone with the same Pokémon as a Gym Leader one city away, only higher leveled. It’s like “Why wasn’t THIS person the Gym Leader?”

As you can see, Katherine’s kinda stopped being as helpless as she was when I caught her. 🙂

Okay, THIS asshole scared the shit outta me, and here’s why: I totally forgot that Slowpoke learn Confusion at Level 17 in FireRed and LeafGreen. I guess I must’ve had the other Generation III games on the mind, wherein Slowpoke doesn’t learn Confusion until Level 20. As such, I sent Drakeman in to deal with him, thinking the best he could do was Water Gun. When Confusion hit, I thought for sure I was about to see my first casualty. And how I didn’t, I’ll NEVER know. O_O

…Sure enough, I ran into three of these things, and before I could hit them and try to beat them for Exp, they each Teleported away.

With all the Trainers on the way to Bill’s place defeated, I made my way inside. Problem was, Bill didn’t seem to be home. Instead, there was a Clefairy sitting around…with a human face… … …At this point, I was ready to piss myself in terror. Then it started talking. And thus, a thousand Creepy Pastas were written. 😛

Yeah, I’m kidding, I know it’s really Bill. I’ve never understood this line of dialogue, though. Why would he say that?

The technology of the Pokémon world will never cease to astound me. Why can’t humanity be inspired to make Poké Balls and PC Storage Systems like we are with stuff from Star Trek?

Yeah, not gonna lie, I’m kinda with Bill on this one. Maybe it’s just because I prefer to dress like a dirtbag hipster, but whatevs. I’ll take the free tickets to a cruise liner party.

So these must be the “lots of pages to my Pokédex” that Tim was talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love Eevee and the Eeveelutions (that sounds like a band), but it’s FOUR pages. I had that many when I first got the freaking ‘dex.

Anyway, with that done, I decided to head back to Cerulean City, just in time to notice a house had been broken into. The officer outside said it was Team Rocket…well, no shit. I could see the Goddamn Rocket Grunt standing in the back yard from right there. How do you not see that? Apparently, the police in Kanto are completely inept, OR they’re on the take. It’s one or the other. Either way, I decided I’d need to go all vigilante and take the law into my own hands by dealing with the grunt myself.

…No. The Team Rocket uniform kinda gives you away. In fact, why aren’t you wearing a disguise like your buddy on Nugget Bridge? o.O

One rather embarrassing ass-kicking later. lol

Man, could you imagine if EVERYBODY was able to deal with loss of property that well?

Yeah, we never really did find out what that was about, huh?

And thus, with Team Rocket beaten down again, the Nugget Bridge conquered, a few more pages added to my Pokédex, and some much-needed training done, it was finally time to deal with Misty. As always, I went into battle using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader’s, meaning I needed to decide which two would take on her Staryu and Starmie. I’d already decided that, based on type and overall performance (and luck) thus far that Drakeman would lead against her Staryu, but there was still the matter of her Starmie. Katherine now knew Bite, but I wasn’t sure if she could one hit KO her opponent, nor was I confident in her ability to tank a Water Pulse from a Starmie. I could’ve worked to evolve her into a Golbat, as I had thought about before, but that felt like I’d be committing to making her a full member of my team, and with Oswald and Drakeman in the party already, I was clearly a bit too Poison heavy. As such, I ultimately decided to go with Mikey, matching his bulk against Starmie’s Special Attack. With my two party members chosen, I headed for the Gym…

Not kidding, first time using Bullet Seed, and it hit 5 times. Seriously, Drakeman, you are the luckiest Goddamn Oddish EVER, not to mention one hell of a trooper. Speaking of, btw? I was originally gonna name him Steve. I’m not kidding, if he survives to Lavender Town and that kind of crap keeps happening to him, I’m changing his name. lol

Honestly? Not as bad a policy as some would suggest.

Not gonna lie: I had to use a LOT of Potions in this battle. Also, I wanted to punch myself for not raising Mikey ONE LEVEL so that he’d learn Bite. Once again, my lack of memory of the movepools in this game nearly gets one of my team members killed. Clearly, something I’m going to have to be a LOT more careful of.

Two badges down, six to go. 🙂

With the Cascade Badge in hand, my business in Cerulean City was finally complete… … …BUT, before I called it a day, there was still one last thing I had to do. After healing up and withdrawing my team, I called out Oswald and gave him one of the Moon Stones I’d found in Mt. Moon, and watched as he evolved to his final stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most powerful member currently on my team, and the Pokémon who will lead said team to victory against Lt. Surge.

So, once again, I managed to get through a phase of my journey with no fatalities. Still, I can tell that what luck I’ve had thus far is gonna run out soon, so I’m gonna have to play it smarter next time, as I make my way south to Vermilion City in order to attend the S.S. Anne party and battle Lt. Surge for the Thunder Badge. Ja né!

We’re gonna need a lot more training and a lot less weaknesses to Electric attacks to deal with Surge. But where can I find a really strong and swift Ground-type?

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 2

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I started my journey with Mikey, my Squirtle, battled my rival twice, caught some new members to my team, journeyed through the Viridian Forest, and defeated the Pewter City Gym Leader for the Boulder Badge. This time, decided to head for Mt. Moon, where Clefairy supposedly came to the planet from outer space. Before I could get to Mt. Moon, though, I had a few Trainers waiting for me on Route 3, which meant it was once again training montage time!

I’m not denying that, but that’s STILL a really weird thing to open a battle with. lol

…There is no freaking reason why this Caterpie should not be evolved TWICE by now. C’mon, developers.

I almost felt bad for the poor bastard… … …almost. 😛

And, as always, the training proved VERY fruitful. Specifically, I caught new members for the team…

This nickname’s specifically for N. Harmonik. You’re welcome, Aibo.

I thought about Stephanie or Barbara, but they seemed a bit too obvious in my head. And really, more people should know about the awesomeness that is Batwoman.

…and Mikey reached Level 16, which meant it was time to ascend to new plateaus. 🙂

I’ve never understood why Wartortle gets frilly-looking ears and tail, only to drop them when it evolves into Blastoise. lol

Luckily, this time around, I knew well enough to keep Mikey away from Pidgey. I don’t know what it is, but it’s almost like the pigeons have been abducted and replaces with vultures who are out to murder my Starter. lol Regardless, with a full team of six Pokémon, I ventured into Mt. Moon, continuing to battle my way through anything that got in my way. I battled every Trainer in the caves of the mountain, saw every single Pokémon that took up residence there, and even encountered everybody’s favourite group of Pokémon thieves: Team Rocket. They were there to steal Pokémon from unsuspecting Trainers and find the rumoured fossils that were buried in the mountain somewhere, probably to sell them and net some cash. Suffice to say, not a picnic getting through this place.

Okay, this is technically outside, but I decided to get some training in for Oswald, ran into a Jigglypuff, and…well, how could I NOT get a screencap of Jigglypuff using Sing? 😛

Why do all the Pokémon I REALLY want to score lucky encounters with never show up until long after I’ve made my capture for their area? The best one I’ve managed so far is Oswald. No way I’m catching Abra this LP.

Yeah, but at the low levels they’re at here, they kinda suck at it. lol

And thus, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit learned karate. 😛

…Good for you?

Is “We, TEAM ROCKET” just how you guys introduce yourselves? I mean, it’s not necessarily BAD, but I can think of a lot better. lol

Anyway, during my battles, my team naturally grew, both in evolutions…

I also managed to find the Moon Stones. Probably gonna wait until after the Cerulean City Gym to use one and evolve Oswald again.

Not gonna lie, but it occurred to me (a bit late after doing so) that perhaps naming one of my Pokémon after one of the ROBINS wasn’t a good way to avoid deaths. Still, this evolution DOES make me optimistic.

…and in learning new techniques.

So Mikey’s been studying under Mr. Satan to learn the Megaton Punch?

Not everybody did so great, though. Minnie only got up to Level 13 by the time I was out, managing to learn Hyper Fang, and poor Katherine unfortunately didn’t get any use at all. I honestly think I’m just gonna put her in the Daycare (when I get there) and have the guy there raise her up as a back-up Flying-type should the worst ever happen to Damian. But then, I really shouldn’t be surprised. There just weren’t that many opponents in Mt. Moon that would’ve been good match-ups for them. Plus, I may have subconsciously favoured the others in their training since I figured they’d likely stand a better chance against Misty. Still haven’t decided which two I’ll go with, though. That said, Katherine might have one or two moves in her pool that might serve me well in that Gym Battle…

Could this silhouette be a sign of my future…?

Anyway, after fighting my way through the caves, I eventually met up with a guy who had the fossils, and apparently thought I was trying to steal them, so he attacked me. Naturally, I whooped him, and in an attempt to appease me, he offered to share one with me. Again, he thought I was a thief, which I wasn’t, but he was offering me a fossil, so…yeah, not necessarily gonna tell him otherwise in THAT case. 😛

YES, I chose the Dome Fossil, and NO, I’m not making that joke. lol

So, after all that, I made it to Cerulean City on the other side and rested up, once again managing to come through a situation with zero fatalities. However, we’ll see if I can keep that lucky streak going next time, as I challenge the Nugget Bridge and the Cerulean City Gym. Ja né!

Which of these six will battle Misty and her Water-type Pokémon? You’ll have to check in next time to find out!

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 1

Decided to just stick with my real name for this.

…Well, it’s good to know that this Let’s Play is apparently cursed and is going to fight me at every frigging turn. lol Let me explain: As I said before, attempts to record footage of the game ended in the audio becoming desynced. Hence, I’ve had to resort to doing this LP in this format, with only text and the occasional screencaps. But then, on top of that, about a half hour into doing this playthrough, I realized that I was using a hacked version of FireRed that I was fooling around with a few years ago, and thus had to start all over again. Between that and some stuff I’ll talk about as I continue, it’s clear that my first ever Nuzlocke Challenge is going to be…interesting, let’s just say. But, let’s get started with how things went in THIS playthrough.

Seemed appropriate. Sorry, Tim. 😛

So, what was the first major sign that this LP was gonna try and screw with me at every turn? Well, before I realized the version I was using beforehand was hacked, I got to start off my adventure with my favourite of the Kanto Starter Pokémon, Bulbasaur. Upon having to restart, however, I took one look at my Trainer ID Number…

…For the record, the last digit in the previous attempt was 1.

And realized that meant starting with…

This is punishment for leaving you out of my six favourite Generation I Pokémon, isn’t it? lol

Although, in all honesty, this probably worked out for the best. There are a LOT of Flying-types in early Kanto that could be a nightmare for Bulbasaur, especially Spearow. And in a world where critical hits could very well equal death, that’s not a chance I necessarily wanna take. Also, what’s hilarious is that, as stated before, I was excluding the initial Rival battle in terms of whether a loss there would be a game over because of how luck based it’d be. In the first playthrough, I lost. Here?

Thank you, Brave Nature, for giving my Squirtle a higher Physical Attack than Tim’s Bulbasaur. ^_^

That said, I was quick to learn that Mikey (yes, I named him after a Ninja Turtle, leave me alone, lol) is a freaking magnet for critical hits, especially from Pidgey. Now, he can tank those hits alright, but when they kept happening over and over, it became clear that this little bastard was trying to kill me via heart attack.

Honestly, it’s no wonder that most games nowadays skip the whole fetch-quest BS and just have you get the Pokédex from the start. Although, it DOES further my theory that kids today don’t earn shit in Pokémon and just have everything handed to them. lol

Anyway, after defeating Tim, I headed up to Viridian City, got Oak’s Parcel, and delivered it back to him, receiving the Pokédex and 5 Poké Balls in exchange, which meant it was time to start catching new party members. Unfortunately, Route 22 ended up being locked off from me because of one little bastard Mankey that refused to be caught, even though it was in the red and next to dead. I was even gonna name it Pork Laser (closest I could get to a Brock Lesnar reference). But nope, this Mankey decided that Pork Laser would not be a thing this LP, at which point I decided this little bastard had to die. But, I still managed to catch three other team members…

Because there is no Robin Pokémon in FireRed. lol

Please tell me I don’t need to explain this reference.

Let’s just say I have a tendency to waggle my fingers when I say this one’s name. 😛

…and, with my kooky quartet, I managed to beat Tim on Route 22…albeit with Mikey AGAIN almost getting killed by Pidgey. At this point, I pretty much decided that I would never send him out to fight Pidgey ever again. Although, what was hilarious was when Mikey got hit by a second critical hit, and then came back with his own to beat Pidgey. But, I’m sure you’re all wondering how the team did against Brock. Well, after a quick training montage…

MAN, Metapod’s Physical Attack SUCKS. lol

Keep in mind, this was back when Water Gun was the superior choice to Bubble.

With a Nature that benefits Special Attack. Ooh, I’m gonna have some fun with this…XD

Sure, NOW I run into you…lol

And the head-popping begins. 😀

…I made my way to the Pewter City Gym. I was a little nervous going in, though, fully aware that, aside from having a Squirtle instead of a Charmeleon, I was using the same team that Team Four Star used against Brock in THEIR Nuzlocke, and that battle ended with the deaths of everyone but their Starter (although I always limit myself to using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader, so that wasn’t going to happen). But with that said, Mikey WAS the difference maker. ^_^

Yeah, probably not shocking anyone, but Mikey beat both Geodude and Onix 2-1.

So yeah, that was the battle with Brock. Earned my first badge, and considered the first chapter of my first Nuzlocke complete with NO DEATHS. So, basically, did a lot better than I expected. With that said, next up is Mt. Moon and the first encounter with Team Rocket. Hope you guys have enjoyed thus far, and I’ll see you back here for Part 2. Ja né!

Minnie’s still low leveled so that I’ve got someone who won’t outright kill anyone I try to catch next. lol

Jyger’s Rant – Mystery at the Lighthouse Review

Well, welcome to the first of my text-only reviews! I’m basically gonna follow the same pattern as before, doing animation and tokusatsu, but since these aren’t videos, I guess I don’t need to worry about cut-off dates anymore. However, I do feel the need to get caught up on my Pokémon anime reviews, so let’s start off with Mystery at the Lighthouse.

Okay, really quick thing I need to get outta the way first, this episode is kind of a classic, what with this being the thirteenth episode and all. And God forbid I should be allowed to talk crap about one of the classic episodes, right? WRONG. If an episode of a show has legitimate problems with it, I’m gonna bring it up. I don’t care if it’s a classic or not. You can still like it, that’s not the problem at all. I’m just saying there are some things that require a closer look at. So for today, what I’m gonna do is give a quick run-through of the plot first, then present my points about what I didn’t like about it afterwards. Feel free to agree or disagree, it’s just my opinion, and all I ask is that you honestly think about it.

So the episode starts with Ash, Misty, and Brock traversing a Route on their way to Vermillion City, and we get a brief recap of how Ash now has two badges and a full team of six Pokémon: Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Butterfree, Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. And let’s be honest folks, when you got Pokémon Yellow, you tried playing it with that exact same team, right? Misty argues that Ash didn’t earn his badges in that they were given to him by people who felt sorry for him, and that he didn’t catch his Pokémon, they followed him. Ash decides to prove he can catch a Pokémon, and so he runs off looking for new Pokémon, eventually finding a Krabby at the beach. He catches it, but the Poké Ball disappears. Misty and Brock explain that when a Trainer catches more than 6 Pokémon, the additional Pokémon is sent to the person who gave that Trainer his first Pokémon, AKA Professor Oak. He can do a swap using a function on the Pokédex, but doesn’t want to and would rather find a phone to call and make sure Krabby’s okay. Fortunately, as is often the case with these guys, there just happens to be a lighthouse nearby. The owner of the lighthouse is a man named Bill, who allows them to call Professor Oak, confirming that Ash’s Krabby is doing just fine and that Gary has also caught a Krabby. Much to Ash’s amazement/annoyance, it’s frigging gigantic. Professor Oak asks Bill to give the group a few lessons on Pokémon, since apparently Bill knows even more about Pokémon than Oak himself.

After a brief situation where they have to help Bill get out of a Kabuto costume that he got himself stuck in, Bill tells them all about Pokémon and humans and how there’s a meaning for us all and how we should all get along, yada yada yada, when he brings up that there’s one Pokémon he’s searching for, supposedly the biggest Pokémon known to man. Once again, wonder of wonders, the Pokémon just happens to show up that night, but Team Rocket learn of it and try to capture it, attacking it with bazookas. The Pokémon smashes up the upper part of the lighthouse and wipes the floor with Team Rocket, leaving the lighthouse and going back out to sea despite Bill’s pleas. By the next morning though, Bill is happy to have seen it at all and is hopeful it may come back one day as Ash and Co. leave.

Now that general plot on its own works alright, but there’re a few things that REALLY bother me. To start, let’s look at the very first and quite possibly the biggest thing about this episode that kinda hits my berserk button.

#1 – Misty Is Kind Of A Bitch In This Episode

So according to Misty, Ash didn’t earn either of his badges and all of his Pokémon just kinda followed him around, basically calling him the very crappiest like no one ever was. You know, I remember back in the day thinking about how funny it was when Misty would slap the idiot Ash down, but nowadays I can actually look at her standpoint and realise how full of crap she is. First off, regarding the badges, Ash would’ve beaten Brock but chose not to finish the battle since Brock’s Onix getting weakened by the sprinklers going off was just an accident, and he would’ve beaten YOU, Misty, if Pikachu had been the one to battle to begin with and MAY have beaten you anyway if Team Rocket hadn’t intervened. Now about his Pokémon, Pikachu was given to him as his starter, but he did legit catch Pidgeotto and Butterfree, who was a Caterpie at the time, in the wild. Bulbasaur chose to follow him, but only AFTER Ash proved himself by defeating and catching him, and Charmander and Squirtle chose to follow him after Ash proved his good character to them and that he would be a kind and worthy trainer to them. Oh, and it’s made SO much better in the dub where she has the major base in her voice that makes her sound REALLY condescending. And yeah, I called Misty a bitch. Let’s face it, in the early episodes of the show, she was a bitch! As much as people complain about Togepi on the show sometimes, some of Misty’s best character development came as a result of taking care of Togepi. At this point, her gimmick was that she loved Water Pokémon and bringing Ash down whether he deserved it or not, I.E. being a bitch. I’ve got more I could say, but I’m saving that for a later episode.

#2 – The Pokédex’s Teleportation Function

I should probably take this moment to note that at no time is this function EVER used, rather that Ash makes switches using a transporter at the various Pokémon Centres, not unlike the PC Storage System from the games. It’s also worth noting that Best Wishes changed it so that the Poké Balls weren’t teleported away after they were caught past the 6 Pokémon limit, they instead were locked down until enough Pokémon were teleported to whomever was storing them for the Trainer to leave them with 6. And as much as I’d love to bitch and moan about Best Wishes again…I actually like that idea. Makes more sense than them immediately teleporting ON THEIR OWN. Granted, it goes against how the game works, but I think if we’ve established ANYTHING above all else regarding the anime, the anime and the game are not the same thing.

#3 – The Doors To Bill’s Lighthouse

This is more of a technical problem than anything, and one that people have pointed out before, but I felt the need to add my two cents as well. First off, I’ll point out that in the next full shot of the doors we see…

…that the arrangement of some the Pokémon carved on them is different. But that’s not the big issue I have, it’s one of the Pokémon found on the door: Mewtwo. What is Mew-frakking-two doing on there? If my understanding of the anime’s timeline is correct, Mewtwo should’ve been, at best, a foetus growing in a test tube in the labs on New Island. There is no way that Bill would know of its existence unless he was in on that little deal, which would kinda paint everything that happens in this episode in a new, more horrifying light.

#4 – All The Dub Changes

Okay, I kind of alluded to this earlier with Misty, but in the original, she just asked if Ash getting his full team of six should really count as him catching them or not, to which he says it was close enough. Meanwhile in the dub, she outright tells him he’s wrong and that they all followed him, which I already explained is bullcrap. Then there’s this stupid running gag they added involving Oak and Bill having cooks who went on vacation that left them having to make tofu meals. Umm, what? Why is that funny? Is it because tofu sounds weird? I’m gonna guess that was their reasoning since all other Japanese food names were replaced in the dub, as a part of the dub’s writers’ constant need to remove all trace elements of Japan from the show…and failing miserably.

#5 – The Changes To Bill From The Games To The Anime

Okay, I know that characters who were in the game and were brought over to the show have been changed up. Still, they had SOME aspect of their video game counterparts in them. This version of Bill is NOTHING like his video game counterpart. He lives in a lighthouse instead of a cottage, he has green hair instead of brown, and he’s some kind of Pokémon expert and philosopher instead of the inventor of the PC system. In fact, I don’t get why they don’t use that, considering what happened in the opening act of the episode with Ash catching his seventh Pokémon. And that kind of leads me into the big one…

#6 – Bill Is A Frakking MORON!

And I’d like to break down exactly what I mean in this very simple list.

1. Why does Bill not know what Pokémon the giant is? He’s supposed to be an expert, he has holographic images of every one of the original 150 he can put up around his room, and yet he doesn’t know that’s a Dragonite. Hell, the Pokédex fricking makes mention of Dragonite in the very next episode! Speaking of which, I call foul on that Dragonite being the biggest Pokémon ever known, I’m certain we’ve seen bigger in the show.
2. He says that the Pokémon is the last of its kind, even though we know that’s bunk. Now, I’ve heard people suggest that he simply meant the last of its kind of that size, but considering he never refers to it by species, I’m going to assume the more likely answer is that Bill is an idiot.
3. He gets into a Kabuto costume where the only method of getting out of it is a button on the outside that he cannot reach while in the costume…I don’t even need to say anything else!

I mean, we’re supposed to believe that he’s smarter than Professor Oak? He comes across as a twit most of the time, and when he’s philosophising, it comes across as pretentious bunk. And don’t tell me “Well, c’mon Jyger. Should you really be so critical of a kids show?” Well first off, you can call me Jeff, we’re all friends here. Second, yes, it’s a kids show, but that doesn’t excuse stupidity. Kids shows can be kids shows and still be smartly written…And speaking of this being a kids show, I’d just like to say that I WOULD mention the bazookas in a kids show, but that seems more like something I should bring up looking at the series in general.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, how does this episode hold up? Well, as you can tell, there’s plenty wrong with it. Still, there are some genuinely cool moments, as well as some plain insane moments that Season 1 was known for. If you like it, fine, but I personally do not.

And that’s my thoughts on Mystery At The Lighthouse. Lemme know what you think of this text review, as next time I’m gonna be looking at a little something that was requested a while back: A two-parter from the Justice League cartoon called Hereafter. Ja né!