Blog Archives
Tales of Dumbassery – “To Attempt To Have Intercourse With A Hornet’s Nest Is A Very Bad Idea”
Well, this week, PinkRangerWannabe went out on the world-wide interweb, found a horrible story, and brought it back here for a little segment I like to call…
And yes, I actually have a reason for parodying the intro to WTFIWWY?, for if today’s story was on that show, this would be the part where Tara would say “THAT DOESN’T GO THERE!” Now, before we get into this story, I want to make it clear that I’m not generally the type to find amusement in death, regardless of person or cause. Death is tragic and should not be taken so lightly. So I don’t want anyone to think I find the fact that this person died funny. Rather, I simply want to call into question the intelligence level on this man who did this…
Today, it was announced by the International Business Times that a man in Sweden had died after being stung to death by hornets…because, according to the autopsy and evidence left behind, he was attempting to have sex with the hornet’s nest. No, I do not have photos. And no, I do not know if any exist, because I don’t want to know. Apparently the 35-year-old had been stung so badly (reportedly 146 times) that when his neighbour found him, he was so swollen that his neighbour thought he was a whale carcass. Again, not making fun. That is what was actually reported. Oh, but here’s the kicker, folks: A psychologist and expert on sex fantasies, Siv During Livh, told the news site…
And I quote…
“To Attempt To Have Intercourse With A Hornet’s Nest Is A Very Bad Idea.” NAWWWW! And here I thought maybe sticking one’s dick in a hornet’s nest would open the door to Kingdom Hearts! I don’t know what’s dumber, the fact that this person actually made that statement like most rational thinking people wouldn’t already know that, or that apparently there is a fetish for that. And I know, there’s some freaky fetishes out there, but this has to be one of the dumbest that ANYONE could have, because unless your intent is to die, it’s not gonna fucking work!
Oh, and this is REALLY good. Apparently the neighbour reported that he’d never seen a pelvic bone so swollen in his entire life…Um, I’m sorry, but there is no way to hear that sentence and not want to immediately ask the obvious question, “How many swollen pelvic bones have you seen in your life?”.
Believe it or not, folks, I’m trying SO hard not to make fun of this man, but it’s kinda hard when THIS was the exact conversation Pink and I had when she brought this up…
PinkRangerWannabe: Give the man a Darwin award.
Jyger85: ………………………………………………….What the heck? o.O
Anyway, I’m sorry if I crossed some lines with this story, but I honestly am just not sure what to make of this one. Hit me back with your own thoughts, and hopefully we won’t have a story quite this idiotic again in a long time. Ja né!
Jyger’s Rant Ad
A short reel on some of the things you can see here on my blog, and my show on Blip.
Special thanks go out to Pink Ranger Wannabe, N. Harmonik, and so-shipsahoy, all of whom can be found at the following…
http://pinkrangerwannabe.deviantart.com/
https://twitter.com/pnkrngrwnnb
http://pinkrangerwannabe.tumblr.com/
http://so-shipsahoy.deviantart.com/
https://twitter.com/morgan_meryl
http://morganmeryl.tumblr.com/
Channel Awesome Year 5 Idea
So yeah, as you know, PinkRangerWannabe and I are gigantic fans of Channel Awesome. Well, with Year 4’s motif having been announced, a lot of people have wondered what Year 5 will be like, and so she and I have come up with a great idea for it.
Picture this: Instead of everyone being together in one place though, circumstances keep them apart, only able to communicate over various social networking sites and whatnot…all except for the Nostalgia Critic, who has disappeared. As they search for him, they find clues and recordings left by him suggesting that he went into hiding because someone or something is trying to kill him. As they search the internet for more clues, they discover that Critic’s been discovered by whatever is trying to kill him and it becomes a race against time to find him before it’s too late.
The best part of this idea is that no one would have to be excluded since they could all film their own scenes independently and then send the footage in to be put all together, there could be more or less equal on-screen time for everybody involved, and it would be cheap and easy to do. Plus, having the characters apart would create a sense of dread, as just when they need each other the most they’re split up. Finally, and possibly most importantly, while Critic would technically still be the centre of attention, his lack of actually being on-screen would make more room for everybody else involved.
So there’s our thoughts on the subject. Let me know what you think and what your own ideas for what could work for Year 5 are.
Jyger’s Rant – Turbo A Power Rangers Movie Review Part 01 + HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
WHOO-HOO!!! First anniversary, baby! FIRST ANNIVERSARY! And because on anniversaries we’re allowed to do whatever we want, I have begun my Turbo review by talking about the backstory leading up to it which, as you’ll see in later instalments of this review, will in turn lead into some of the biggest plot holes you’ve EVER seen. I know, most people would consider this a prologue or intro, but I’m just different like that.
So yeah, one year…Wow. Doesn’t feel like it. Although maybe that’s because for a long while I kinda forgot about it, which I regret A LOT. I wish that I could go back and fill that time with content, but I can’t. Instead, I can only hope to not make that mistake again.
…Yes, that’s right. I have ultimately made my decision regarding a question I’ve been asking myself for weeks, and the answer is yes, I am sticking around. For how long? Well, I don’t really know yet. I guess for as long as I can do this without it getting TOO awful. lol
That said, I need to give some big thanks to my friends and family who have helped me through all this and encouraged me to keep at it. I have a need to thank JewWario and Linkara for being huge inspirations and for giving me encouragement when I most needed it. I have a need to thank my girlfriend PinkRangerWannabe and my occasional co-star N. Harmonik for sticking with me and giving me their support. Most of all, I have a need to thank each and every one of you that have checked me out over the past year, because it’s all been SO worth everything negative that ever occurred. So thank you all for making this a great year, and let’s hope to make the year to come even greater.
Welcome to Jyger’s Rant.
Vlog – Cheap Plugging FTW
Just a short vlog letting everyone know what I’m up to while also letting you in on some cool stuff. Speaking of which, here are the links to said stuff.
http://masterthecreater.deviantart.com/gallery/35563348
http://pinkrangerwannabe.deviantart.com/gallery/
http://jyger85.deviantart.com/art/Sonic-5D-s-Round-01-295089780
Oh, and the footage I used belongs to LittleKuriboh.
What’s Happening With Me
Okay, so I guess I got a few people concerned about what’s going on with me and why I posted what I did. Am I going back on that decision? I honestly don’t know. Still, I think I should probably elaborate more on what’s been going on with me.
I got so frustrated with the quality of the show, and how I couldn’t improve at all. I tried integrating a storyline into my show, it didn’t take off well. I bought a new digital camcorder for less than 30 bucks, turned out to be a piece of crap. I got new microphones, they chose not to work…Well okay, I got one to work, after a few hours of fiddling with it. And all the while, I kept looking to what the view count was like.
Linkara says to not let the viewcount bother me, my friends, my family, even my gir-…Even Christy, who said she found my stuff kinda boring and uninteresting, told me that I should continue if I honestly still enjoyed making them. The only problem being, I don’t know that that’s enough, and I wanna explain where I’m coming from with that.
When I was, I dunno, 14 or so, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. This meant I was, by technicality, autistic. After a while, I got so frustrated with school that I quit in my second year of Grade 11, meaning I do not have my high school diploma. Oh, I eventually went after my GED, but when an employer has to make a call between a high school graduate and someone with a GED, who do you think he’s gonna hire?
So for 7 years now I’ve been working as a client in a job training facility for people with special needs (the name of which shall remain anonymous due to how much I’ve ranted about stuff that’s happened there). Now that’s not so bad, there’s actually been people working there for MUCH longer. It’s just that that’s not what I want for myself, and I get the feeling that if nothing changes, that’s what’ll happen. And as long as I’m there, I’m being paid a VERY pitiful amount, thus resulting in my living with my parents at age 26 (going on 27 in June) when what I want is to move into a place for me and for Christy…possibly with an overhead apartment where N. Harmonik could grow old. LOL
So that’s when I noticed how I seemed to be pretty good at blogs and felt that I could make the transition to videos, thus creating…
Yeah, that. And it was wonderous to be doing that on YouTube, but what I REALLY wanted was to build up a fan-base so I could then move to Blip and make a living off my show that I honestly enjoyed doing…However, despite encouragement from JewWario today, I felt a GREAT hesitation, even the desire to say screw it all due to all my frustrations coming together, like a Megazord of negativity…Ooh, or a “Negazord”.
Finally, after Christy said what she said, which I asked her to do by the way. I don’t want anyone holding negative feelings for her because of that, because I asked her to tell me how she really felt about it, but when she did, I’ve gone from being so angry that I’ve wanted to delete every last thing related to my blog, to crying for what felt like hours because it was over, to being frustrated because I know how little people think of me and yet my Mom and Morgan Meryl and Lewis keep telling me to do what I want…and I just don’t know what to do right now.
I will say this much though: If I do plan to continue, then I have a huge project in store for the anniversary of this blog, which is April 11th. I am going to do a review of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. Now, I know Linkara already did this movie, but the more I thought it over, the more I realised that every little frigging detail about that movie needs to be touched on for just how STUPID it is. I could spend the entire MONTH talking about how fugging dumb it is.
Seriously, who let the little kid drive??? O_O
So yeah, I know I say this a lot, but I really and truly mean it this time: If you read this all the way through, PLEASE COMMENT. No really, PLEASE COMMENT. I want to know what you think of all of this, if I should continue on with my plans, WHATEVER.
Jyger Watches Cupcakes + Anniversary Vid For PinkRangerWannabe
Okay, a couple of videos I’ve neglected to post here. The first is a video that…well, how do I put this? Basically, if you thought that no video I could ever watch could possibly get a bigger reaction out of me than the infamous “Azurill Grows A WHAT?!?!” or “Ghirahim is Just CREEPY!” moments, watch what happens when I was told to watch a video that represents the darkest side of the Friendship Is Magic fandom, “Cupcakes”.
The next is a much more loving video for a wonderful occasion: It’s the video I made for PinkRangerWannabe on our anniversary this past weekend.
Oh, music in these vids are Combine Harvester by The Wurzels and Suteki da ne by Rikki, and to those wondering, Suteki da ne is our song…now if only it was attached to a better game than Final Fantasy X…
Jyger's Rant 