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Tales of Dumbassery Follow-Up: Hornet’s Nest Story FALSE

Well, for anyone who misses when I used to tell stupid stories about my own mistakes and misfortune, you get your wish today, as we look to one of my own, and very recent…

Tales of Dumbassery

…Yeah, gimme a second here, I need to get my story straight. You’ll recall the other day I reported on a story posted by International Business Times involving a man who apparently died after having sex with a hornet’s nest and getting stung to death by said nest’s inhabitants. Naturally, I was kind of in shock that such a thing could happen, that I may have overlooked a couple of details in the story that makes the following statement by IBT seem kind of obvious…

And I quote…

“Unfortunately it turned out the story was a fake from a satirical news website in Sweden called Nyheterna Sverige, which was kindly pointed out by a number of our readers. The original story was spawned from animal rights campaigners who were worried about the well-being of hornets. However, the joke got lost in translation – as well the names of those involved. The neighbour’s name translates to erection and the fetish expert is called genital.”

So yeah, whole thing was a hoax. I probably should’ve figured that out, especially given the line about how he’d never seen a pelvic bone so swollen before. Now naturally, I assumed he meant the muscle AROUND the pelvic bone since, guess what, BONES DON’T SWELL. However, looking back on it, if they’d meant the muscle around the pelvic bone, they would’ve just said so. So yeah, my bad. The good news in all this, though, is that nobody’s dead, so I don’t have to feel bad about my comments.

…While we’re on the subject, though, I don’t find the joke all that funny. And no, it’s not because I fell for it, I think someone who makes fun of themselves as often as I do would be okay with that. I just feel that this wasn’t all that funny. It honestly comes off as gross-out humour used specifically for the fact that they couldn’t think of anything better. Sorry, that’s just how I feel.

But yeah, I still reported on a story that turned out to be false, and for that, I apologise. But hey, gave me something to make fun of myself with, so I guess it wasn’t a complete waste. Ja né!