Marvelous May – Storm vs Gamora
Welcome back to Marvelous May, and today, it’s X-Men vs Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s Ororo Munroe, aka Storm, vs Gamora!
Descended from a line of African priestesses, Ororo Munroe lost her parents at a young age when a plane crashed into their home in Cairo. Afterward, she was trained by street urchins to be a master pickpocket. Wouldn’t you know it, she one day picked the pocket of one Professor Charles Xavier, founder of the X-Men, who kept an eye on her over the years, as he sensed she was a Mutant. Eventually, her powers manifested to allow her to save the life of a young Wakandan Prince, who would later become Black Panther. She was then taken to Kenya to be trained to use her powers responsibly, and was believed to be and worshiped as a Goddess. This is where, during a time period where the X-Men needed new members, Ororo was found and recruited, taking on the name Storm. She possesses atmokinesis, allowing her to manipulate the weather to her liking. Wind, rain, lightning, and snow all bend to her command, as she can create or control storms, and use the wind currents to fly. Unfortunately, the events that resulted in her parents’ death left her with a horrible case of claustrophobia, and her emotional state ultimately effects how well she can control her powers. That said, when she’s in full control, few can hope to stop the sheer force and power of Storm.
So, right off the bat, two things that people might not know about Gamora: She’s originally from an alternate universe, meaning she’s not actually native to Earth-616, and her full name is Gamora Zen Whoberi Ben Titan… … …Yeah, if it’s all the same with her, I’mma just call her Gamora. 😛 She’s the sole survivor of a race from her universe and someone brought her over to the mainstream Marvel Universe to save her. Problem? Her savior was Thanos, who molded her into a weapon, and a damned efficient one at that. She is considered the most dangerous woman in the universe, being trained to be an expert markswoman, a weapons expert, and a skilled martial artist, and all of that is on top of her natural abilities as a Zen Whoberis, which makes her super strong, super fast, and so on. Luckily for Gamora, she one day learned of Thanos’ ultimate plan: To kill the entire universe in a bid to impress Death…because Death is an actual person in the Marvel Universe, AND a woman, and he is trying to woo her by killing EVERYONE. Yeah, clearly, he’s not all there, but really, what would you expect from someone called the Mad Titan? She’s since switched over to the side of good, working with a few different heroes from time to time, until she eventually found her home with a rag-tag group calling themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s a decision that seems to be working out for her, and has led to her being empowered by the Black Vortex, which gave her the ability fly, survive the vacuum of space, and basically access hammerspace. And hey, who wouldn’t wanna ride with an anthropomorphic raccoon with guns, a Captain Kirk wannabe, a giant tree with a three-word-long vocabulary, and the former WWE World Heavyweight Champion?
Anyway, be sure to vote on who you think should win this match by May 12th, at which point the winner will move on to take on the winner of the next bout. And be sure to check out the links below to read more about these two, as well as come back for the final match of the first round: Rogue vs Jean Grey. Ja né!
Marvelous May – Squirrel Girl vs Spider-Woman
Welcome back to Marvelous May, and today, one of the more unique heroines of the Marvel Universe takes on longtime Avenger and Carol Danvers’ BFF. It’s Doreen Green, AKA Squirrel Girl, vs Jessica Drew, AKA Spider-Woman!
In all of the Marvel Universe, there is a heroine so dreaded, so feared, that even the greatest villains to ever to terrorize the universe dare not speak her name. That heroine is…The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl… … …Stop laughing, I’m serious. Doreen Green is a Mutant with a 3 foot long semi-prehensile tail, the ability to lift up to 25 tons, claws for climbing structures and griping onto objects, a rapid healing factor, and the ability to communicate with squirrels. And I know what every single person who has never read her comics is thinking right now: “How pathetic is this? She’s a human squirrel who can talk to other squirrels. This is the lamest superheroine ever!” Well, here’s the thing: Her first outing resulted in her rescuing Iron Man and defeating DOCTOR DOOM. YEAH, the guy who created Battleworld was defeated by this girl when she was just a teenager starting out. It wasn’t even a Doombot pretending to be him, either, it was the real thing. By swarming Doom’s aircraft with a massive legion of squirrels, all chewing up and tearing through the thing before attacking Doom directly, even the dreaded ruler of Latveria couldn’t handle the massive swarms coming at him. Since then, she’s actually joined a few different incarnations of the Avengers, as well as acted as a nanny for Luke Cage’s daughter, Danielle. Currently, she’s a member of the New Avengers, along with Wiccan and Hulkling, and her sidekick Tippy-Toe, who is, of course, a squirrel. Regardless of what team she’s on, though, the fact is that you should NEVER underestimate Squirrel Girl, as has been evidenced by her rather impressive record as having defeated opponents like Doctor Doom, Wolverine, Maelstrom, Deadpool, M.O.D.O.K., and most impressively, a clone of Thanos so perfectly replicated that even Uatu the Watcher was fooled…or so Thanos claims, anyway. I think he just was having trouble living it down. 😛
She is probably the most famous heroine in the Marvel Universe to use the Spider name and have not that much to do with Spider-Man. In fact, Jessica Merriam Drew was originally an agent of Hydra, the group that was once the rogue Nazi science division. For a while, she believed she was an actual spider mutated to be human. However, it was later revealed that she was given an untested spider serum and put in a genetic accelerator as a child to save her life from long-term Uranium poisoning, though the process wiped her memories of everything beforehand clean. On her first field mission for Hydra, Jessica disobeyed orders and defected. She later joined up with S.H.I.E.L.D. as one of their new agents, and has since become a member of multiple different factions and incarnations of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the Avengers. Along with superhuman strength, speed, durability, agility, reflexes, hearing, and flexibility, Spider-Woman has the ability to fire bio-electric ‘Venom Blasts’ to stun foes, can crawl across walls via electrostatic attraction, produce pheromones meant to intimidate, repulse, or even attract those that breathe them in, and is immune to just about all known venoms and toxins. Most recently, Jess has actually become a mother, and has chosen to continue operating as Spider-Woman, becoming both a full-time superheroine and a full-time single mother.
And let the voting commence! Be sure to get yours in before May 9th, when we find out which of these two will take on the winner of Quake vs Jane Foster. Also, feel free to learn more about these two via the links below, and check back in for the next match: Scarlet Witch vs Ms. Marvel. Ja né!
How To Drop The Ball In Comics: What Bothers Me About The X-Men’s Plight
…Okay, before anyone sees that title and asks, no, I don’t hate the X-Men in any way, shape, or form. I love the X-Men. In fact, I think it’s that love of the X-Men that helped me realize this issue of mine. See, a few days ago, while discussing the possibility of the X-Men and Fantastic 4 being phased out in terms of importance to the Marvel Universe, I mentioned how, and I quote, “the X-Men’s continued plight as being loathed by humanity becomes more absurd the more you think about it and the more time goes by”. I also mentioned how I’d like to see Marvel Studios come to some kind of deal with Fox to be able to incorporate the X-Men into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, if for no other reason but to have Wolverine potentially join the Avengers for a mission or two. However, looking back on that, I think that would only make the same problem I have with the X-Men in the comics present in the movies. And for those wondering what that is, I will spell it out for you: The X-Men and mutantkind in general being hated and mistrusted by ‘normal’ human beings MAKES NO SENSE when they exist in the same universe as the Avengers, who are seen as the legitimate heroes of Earth. Hell, it doesn’t make any sense when presented in the same universe as ANY superhero team that has super-powered members of any kind. Every excuse I’ve ever heard, be it that they’re too powerful, too different, were ordinary humans changed to be superhuman, can read minds, none of them have any kind of leg to stand on when you really analyze them. And, if you’ll allow me, I’d like to present my evidence in a very simple bulleted list.
- The Avengers have plenty of super-powered individuals that can be seen as being as powerful or more-so than the average mutant. And don’t split hairs with me, you know what I mean by average. The number of mutants that could take Thor or the Hulk in a one-on-one fight are probably a bit on the short side. So, those that fear that mutants are too powerful have clearly never taken a good look at Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.
- Members of the Avengers have come not only from various walks of life on Earth, but from different worlds and even whole different realms of existence. And while I’m not saying that people aren’t afraid of Thor for being different, I would go out on a limb and suggest that they are considerably less than the number of people that fear mutants for the same damned reason.
- There exist plenty of superheroes both on the Avengers and other superhero teams (hell, EVERY MEMBER of the original Fantastic 4) who were ordinary humans that were altered, empowered, or transformed in some way, shape, or form that all get free passes from prejudice and hate. Now, granted, there are those that ARE feared and hated, too. Probably the biggest example of such would be the Hulk. However, let’s look at the biggest example of a human being who was changed and became able to perform superhuman feats: Steven Rogers, AKA Captain fucking America. Granted, at the end of the day, he’s still a human being with basic human weaknesses, but he can lift more and run faster than any non-enhanced human being, and can process information quicker than the average person too. And while I wouldn’t wanna make an ass outta you and me, I’m nonetheless going to assume that significantly fewer people fear Captain America than mutants.
- Mutants aren’t the only individuals in the Marvel Universe that possess a form of telepathy. Granted, the list of humans that can use telepathy and aren’t considered mutants is pretty frigging short, and mutants employ several of the best telepaths in the universe, but they aren’t the only ones. Hell, Sam Wilson has a telepathic connection with his fucking bird, and no one raises an eyebrow. Look, I get it, the idea of people able to read our thoughts can be kinda creepy, and there are those in the mutant community that don’t exactly do a great job of diffusing such fears. I’m not even necessarily talking villains here, either. Recently, the time displaced Jean Grey of the past (long story short for those that don’t know, the original five X-Men of Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, and Beast were brought to the present and have refused to go back until they fix the mess their future selves made) revealed that Iceman was gay by going into his brain and reading his thoughts without his consent and continued to do so even after he asked her not to. Still, it’s not like that’s a scenario exclusive to mutants. Oh, and speaking of which, I can’t help but notice that Earth in the Marvel Universe has, like the real world, become a place where we’re becoming more accepting of people of different races, religions, orientations, genders, and anything else that could divide us as a species…and yet, mutants, which have been used as a metaphor for all of those things, are still not accepted. That’s a problem. lol
Anyway, I think that pretty much covers most of… … … … …Oh wait, I almost forgot…
Even before the Unity Division, AKA the Uncanny Avengers, X-Men members like Wolverine, Storm, and Beast have joined various incarnations of the Avengers. Hell, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver have been longtime members of the Avengers, and they used to work for the Brotherhood of Mutants. Y’know, the bad guys? Don’t recall that ever being a problem, or if it was, I never heard of it being so.
So, with all of that said, the only conceivable answer I can come up with for why mutants are still loathed and feared in the Marvel Universe when there are people like the Avengers and the Fantastic 4 running around is because humanity is either immensely hypocritically bigoted, or it’s fucking stupid. And, as I’ve said before, if a story only works because the characters involved are morons, the story ultimately fails… … …which, to be perfectly frank, is probably why the X-Men and the struggles of mutantkind being pushed aside a bit in the grand scope of the Marvel Universe, and not being an element of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, are good things. And again, I love the X-Men. I love seeing the characters show up and be awesome, and watching them take part in big, epic events to save the world is great. And the stories that focus primarily on them are still good. It’s when I’m asked, in a story involving the Marvel Universe in general, to believe that they’re still despised by humanity in spite of every reason why they shouldn’t be that I find the severe logical problem in storytelling, which is one reason why I REALLY didn’t like Avengers vs X-Men… … … … …And oh God, do I ever dread the day when I’ll have to give my full thoughts on that event. -_-
Anyway, those are my thoughts on that particular subject. Lemme know what you think of it in the comments section below, and be sure to bamf back here the next time I have a random thought about how a comic idea can kinda fail sometimes. Ja né!
Jyger’s Favourite 5 – 5 Superhero Teams I’d Like To See In Marvel Post-Secret Wars
So, a while ago, I talked about characters I’d love to see make it into the new Marvel Universe when the dust settles and Secret Wars is over. As such, let’s talk a bit about some superhero teams I’d love to see either be a thing or continue to be a thing post-Secret Wars. Now, technically, we already know of one team that’ll exist, as we’ve learned that Captain America, Ms. Marvel, Vision, Ultimate Spider-Man, Iron Man, Nova, and Thor will be teaming up as the All-New, All-Different Avengers. But will that be the ONLY Avengers team? I highly doubt it, honestly. And frankly, there’s at least ONE other Avengers team that exists in the new universe. So, might as well start there. These are the five superhero teams I’d like to see in Marvel Comics post-Secret Wars, starting with the aforementioned Avengers team I’d like to see post-Secret Wars…
Potential Members: Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, Spider-Woman, Black Widow, Storm, Medusa, Angela, Wasp, Sif
As I’ve said before, a team of Marvel’s greatest superheroines? YES PLEASE! 😀 That said, while I get the feeling the version in Secret Wars will pretty much be damned near EVERY Marvel superheroine, I’m thinking the post-Secret Wars team should be a bit more streamlined. Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, or Storm would all be good choices to potentially lead the team, while the rest of the team should really be varied in terms of powers and walks of life. Of course, Black Widow works great as the least super-powered of the group, Angela or Sif would be good choices for representatives from Asgard, and there should at least be one Mutant and one Inhuman. And of course, there’s always room for long-time Marvel heroines like Wasp or Spider-Woman.
Potential Members: Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Rogue, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man, Sabretooth, Quicksilver, Wolverine
Honestly, I see no reason to put the kibosh on this team. In fact, it might even be to the benefit of those that want to see Steve Rogers and Thor Odinson continue as key players of the Marvel Universe if they rejoined the team. Rogue, Scarlet Witch, Wonder Man, and Quicksilver all work as members too. As for Sabretooth, I can see him sticking around, though it may make things awkward if Wolverine DOES, in fact, return from the grave and rejoin his old team, considering their long and bloody history. And speaking of which…
Potential Members: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Havok, Beast, Emma Frost, Angel, Dazzler, X-23, Iceman
Would not shock me if, after Secret Wars, the All-New X-Men are more or less done away with, but that their future selves are influenced by their actions and thus end up in Cyclops’ camp. Would certainly make for an interesting scenario if Jean Grey, back in her adult form, was brought back, and now is on the same team as Cyclops and Emma Frost. Still, hopefully with the reboot, we can start to see Cyclops distance himself from his douchey and at times blatantly evil behaviour and try to make something better of himself. As for the other X-Men, well…
Potential Members: Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler, Rachel Grey, Jubilee, Psylocke, Colossus, Pixie, Rogue
As I said before, I’m pretty sure the return of Wolverine is all but inevitable. As such, seeing him return to the X-Men would be a huge plus. And while I showed the logo for Astonishing X-Men, really, it doesn’t HAVE to be. It could be Amazing X-Men and be just fine. And, of course, all the big names in that particular camp of X-Men would be among its roster, though I wouldn’t be shocked to see some of the other students at the mansion and other X-Men join in from time to time. Now, while I would like to see Adjectiveless X-Men continue, there is one OTHER superheroine team I’d like to see get picked back up for the new Marvel Universe…
Potential Members: Valkyrie/Annabelle Riggs, Misty Knight, Dani Moonstar, Warrior Woman, Clea, Elsa Bloodstone, Ren Kimura, Nova (Frankie Raye)
I’m sorry, but I gotta know what the hell next happened with these characters! I haven’t seen them since the book ended, except for Valkyrie, and her appearances (that I’m aware of) didn’t allude to Annabelle or the team at all! Did they stick together? Did they split up? Are they still fighting Caroline and Morgana le Fey? Did Valkyrie, Annabelle, and Red get into some kinda twisted love triangle? Did they eventually end up fighting Galactus like Cullen Bunn wanted? WHAT’S HAPPENING?! lol
Anyway, those are five teams I’d love to see make it into the new universe. Got one that wasn’t here? Lemme know in the comments, and we’ll see what becomes of the Marvel Universe in September. Ja né!