Blog Archives

Braun Strowman Pushed Over An Ambulance – Why It Was AWESOME!

…Show it again. lol

Now the audience’s reaction.

Honest to God, at this point, I don’t even care if Roman Reigns goes over Braun Strowman the next time they wrestle. Braun is a made man after this. And if you think that mister Mohit Gaur, who recorded that last video, sounded like he was having an orgasm while watching, imagine what Vince #ILoveBigMuscles McMahon was like backstage. A friend of mine said it was likely a matter of “Oop, my hand is in my pants again”, to which I responded “Fuck his pants! His pants were probably flung to the other side of the gorilla position while he had both hands firmly clasped around his dick and hosed all over Michael Cole and JBL!”…Okay, I MAY have added some of that for this article, but the point still stands! Like, you remember that thing Triple H said about Vince and Cocky years ago? That was what was going on backstage while all that was going on! And honestly, I feel like the whole sequence of the beatdown and Strowman pushing over the ambulance should’ve been the last thing we saw on the show, because who the fuck could care about the draft (oh sorry, Superstar Shakeup) after THAT?!

Now, here’s why I wanted to talk about this, besides telling sick-minded jokes about Vinny Mac: A lot of people, in response to this, have pointed out all of the ways this was complete bullshit. Specifically, how that was clearly not the real Roman Reigns on the stretcher when Strowman Zack-Ryder’d him, and that there was no way on God’s green Earth that Braun Strowman pushed over a 10,000+ pound vehicle. And yes, one person in particular would be King Ross, and no, none of what I’m about to say is meant to be a sleight against him. In fact, I was laughing my ass off at his dissection of this whole sequence of events. To be blunt, I don’t think I even need to direct what I’m about to say to him, since he probably already knows and was just doing this for the sake of entertainment. But I’ll say it anyway: I’m well aware of the fact that this was stupid and fake as shit. Here’s the thing I need to make clear, though: I still loved it. I still thought it was awesome. The fact that it was fake didn’t influence my thoughts on it at all. As long as something is so outrageous and eye-popping that you physically want NEED to go on social media, not only to say your own piece about it but to see what everyone else thought, it accomplished its goals. And really, isn’t that exactly what wrestling is? Something that is obviously fake and kind of stupid but you watch anyway for how over-the-top insane and awesome it can be?

But hey, that’s just my take on it. Feel free to let me know what you thought. Ja né!

Who Is Really To Blame For The Divas Revolution Failing? + The Difference Between NXT and RAW

So, something that had the online wrestling community buzzing was the fact that, following a match last week on RAW involving the Divas, several of them went online and posted rather angry tweets at the fans who basically dumped all over the match. They talked about how they didn’t care about the Divas Revolution, how they’re trying to do be stars and no one cares, etc. Now, I know for a fact that at least one of them, Paige, almost immediately took her tweet down. One theory as to why that is is because she realized that antagonizing the fans right back would just encourage that to happen again in the next city they wrestled in. However, I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and suggest that maybe she realized that she was just yelling out of anger and didn’t think what she was writing out all that well when she did it.

If you don’t know what I mean, allow me to explain: RAW last week was filmed from the Barclays Centre in Brooklyn, New York. Why is that relevant? Because that’s where they filmed SummerSlam, and more importantly to this case, NXT TakeOver, and it was the same crowd at all three shows. And, at NXT TakeOver, there was a match between Sasha Banks and Bayley that was arguably one of the best matches all weekend. Personally, I think it was the best in terms of action, drama, build-up, resolution, and so on, but I’m willing to say that others MIGHT be better, but that it was at least in the Top 3 or 5. Regardless, it was built like a Goddamn main event, and the crowd appreciated and responded to it as such. So to say that the crowd doesn’t care for the women in WWE is bullcrap, because they LOVED that match.

So, if that’s the case, why did they seem to not care about the match on RAW? Because it wasn’t very good. The action wasn’t that good, there was little to no build-up, and in the promo that took place beforehand, we were basically told that wins and losses don’t mean anything, so the crowd didn’t care who won. So why would you be surprised that the crowd didn’t care? They weren’t given any reason to care. If they don’t have a reason to care, they’re gonna dump on a match, and especially when you’re in a ruckus crowd like they had in Brooklyn. That’s just how it is.

In the wake of this, it’s been brought up on a number of different wrestling podcasts and news articles that the reason the Divas Revolution is failing on RAW has nothing to do with the women involved, and it has nothing to do with the fans. And frankly, I tend to agree with what they’ve determined based on my own recollections and opinions. The problem is what it’s always been, and with the popularity that NXT has gotten, and a lot of people watching that show and comparing it to RAW, and seeing the same talent appear on both shows and taking note of what’s different with the exact same people on the two different shows, it’s more clear than it’s ever been what the problem is: The problem is Vince McMahon. And I’m aware of the fact that we wouldn’t even have a WWE if it weren’t for Vince, I am not taking anything away from his success, but the man needs to stop. He needs to stop coming to every RAW and personally mandating how it goes every single night. He needs to let Triple H and Stephanie run the show, and honestly, the fact that I can say that and mean it says a lot about how things are different nowadays. lol But regardless, one thing is clear: Triple H and Stephanie know how to run a wrestling show in 2015. Vince McMahon doesn’t. And if you don’t understand how that is, allow me to demonstrate, and remember that Vince has the final say of everything on RAW, and rarely if ever even watches NXT:

  • On NXT, women are given actual time to wrestle, are built like athletes, and have their own unique stories that are told. On RAW, the Divas Revolution is the story, not the individuals in it, they aren’t given time to wrestle, they don’t have their own stories, and we’re constantly told how we’re in the middle of a revolution of women in sports, even though women in sports have been awesome for a LONG time now.
  • On NXT, titles mean something. They are prizes with an incredible honour attached to them that are not passed around to anyone on the roster from any given point in time. When you win one, it shows you busted your ass to obtain it and have an important role in the brand’s history. On RAW, damned near everyone on the roster has won a title. The championships no longer hold value because they’ve been passed around like a game of hot potato, and in fact, there has existed for a decade now a method of gaining a title shot anytime you want, making the list of people that have won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (and the two belts merged to create it) even larger. And speaking of the titles, the NXT Women’s Title looks like something you’d be proud to display in your living room (although I don’t know why it’s silver. Title belts should really be gold in my opinion), and the WWE Divas’ Title looks like something you’d display in your room as a trophy you won as a child (it’s a frigging BUTTERFLY!!!).
  • On NXT, everyone working the show has their own story that’s being told with as much care as can be given. On RAW, the only people that are given any REAL care are John Cena and whoever the next person is to wrestle him. And that’s not even a knock against John Cena. Hell, I actually feel BAD for him sometimes, because he’s the one that gets knocked on for that, when it’s Vince that ultimately decides to keep pushing him as the top guy, whether he has the belt or not. I guess Brock gets some care too, but not nearly as much, which is a shame, because, let’s be honest, for better or worse, he’s the most over guy on RAW right now. Him and Paul Heyman, who seriously needs to be put in the Hall of Fame one of these days.
  • This is probably the most bizarre of all, and continues to baffle the frak outta me, but in a way that actually makes me laugh. On RAW, Triple H and Stephanie are the top villains. You would THINK that Seth Rollins is the top villain, because he’s the champion, but because those two are running the show and constantly helping him, all the while talking down all the good guys and saying that they don’t need them to survive, they’re the top heels. On NXT, they could not possibly get more over as good guys. They give the fans what they want, they help build up the big match-ups, Stephanie is always putting over the women on the show, they can pretty much do no wrong.

So, that’s my take on the difference between RAW and NXT, and why the Divas Revolution is failing. Agree or disagree? Lemme know in the comments, and we’ll see if anything changes in the near future. Ja né!

Craig Photobombed Green Arrow And Stardust

…Huh.

Didn’t even notice that was Craig from The Bryan & Vinny Show. Dunno how I managed that, but I honestly didn’t notice…I’m so jealous of him now. Not only was he seen on RAW, he got to fuck over Kevin Dunn. 😄

My Thoughts On RAW Last Night And The Current Main Event Picture In WWE

Y’know, I haven’t really talked much about wrestling on here in a LONG time, but there’s something I gotta get off my chest about last night’s show, and the WWE main event picture. If you didn’t see last night’s RAW, here’s what happened: It was revealed that Seth Rollins passed along the idea to Triple H to make John Cena vs. Randy Orton (or as Spoony likes to call it, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”) at Hell In A Cell a #1 Contender Match. In other words, the winner takes on Brock Lesnar, presumably at Survivor Series, for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Of course, the reason is obvious: Rollins wants Lesnar and his opponent to beat the hell outta each other and so he can cash in his Money In The Bank contract and win the belt the easy way.

Regardless, at the end of the night, we had John Cena and Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton, Kane, and Seth Rollins in a Handicap Tag Team Street Fight. I don’t know why there’s tagging in a Street Fight, but whatever. The point is, about two thirds of the way into the match, Kane ordered the Hell In A Cell, which had been hung in the air all night, to be lowered, effectively making it a Handicap Tag Team Hell In A Cell Match. The end result is that these five guys beat the piss outta each other with chairs, tables, and Singapore Canes, and the match ended with Orton hitting the RKO on Ambrose for the win, only to get Curb Stomped by Rollins before he had a chance to celebrate. Hell, he got hit before the announcer could even say his name. And so, the show ended with Rollins on top of the Hell In A Cell celebrating atop the bodies laying in the ring.

So, a couple of thoughts. First off, I’m kinda confused as to why we’re getting two Hell In A Cell matches at the show on Sunday, when we coulda just thrown Brock Lesnar in with these five guys and make it a 6-Man Hell In A Cell Match for the title. Heck, one of those matches scheduled for Sunday is one we’ve already seen before, and is a match including two men that have literally wrestled each other at LEAST a hundred times on live TV (not sure about non-televised shows, so the number could actually be several times that amount). Now, my guess is that Brock’s agreed-upon schedule keeps him from being used every show. And I KNEW that was gonna happen. In fact, it was my one concern with putting the belt on him. Now, I understand that Brock is still not used to a regular schedule, and I of course can accept him not showing up every week on RAW…But when you are the WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, when you are the face of said company, you have a certain responsibility to represent it at every Pay-Per-View! This is why Daniel Bryan was stripped of the belt: He couldn’t uphold said responsibilities and obligations due to injury, so he had to forfeit the title. And by the way, if this match DOES in fact take place at Survivor Series? Guess how long that is since his last title defense at Night of Champions? Almost exactly two months! So I don’t wanna hear the ’30 day mandatory title defense clause’ EVER brought up again!

…*sighs* Okay, better now. Anyway, the other thought that occurs to me after checking out the aforementioned Spoony One’s Twitter today is…why is John Cena being rewarded with the possibility of becoming #1 Contender, when he lost the Contract On A Pole Match against Ambrose to determine which of them fought Seth Rollins at Hell In A Cell? Why isn’t Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins to determine the #1 Contender? Now, I already gave the in-story explanation, which fits the character Seth Rollins is portraying currently: He’s the clever coward, always looking to take the easy way out of situations. However, the problem is that the audience now needs to sit through Cena vs. Orton Part God-Knows-What to determine who takes on Brock, and that match will either be Brock vs. Cena for the third time this year, or a Hell vs. Heel match for the championship. And unless the plan is to turn Randy Orton face, which has been historically proven to be a bad idea at least twice that I know of, and have him win the belt, only for Rollins to come in and steal it from him, it’s probably gonna be Cena beating Brock to win the title for the 16th time (which means he ties Ric Flair, which should just not happen, but you know they’ll do it), only to have the belt taken from him by Rollins.

Anyway, where does this leave us for the main event picture? Well, we know that Seth Rollins will eventually gain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. That’s a given. The question is, where do we go from there? The theory is that Daniel Bryan, body willing, will get his shot to get the belt back at Wrestlemania. And really, Rollins vs. Bryan? AWESOME main event. Otherwise, the other major contenders are Dean Ambrose, John Cena, and Roman Reigns. And my guess is that Brock Lesnar will probably fight one of the men not chosen to fight Seth Rollins, which is another reason why I hope Daniel Bryan is the man to take on the champ, because he’s NOT beating Brock. I’m sorry, I like Daniel Bryan a lot, but look at what both he and Brock bring to the ring. They both have a very similar style, except Brock is a LOT bigger, and Daniel Bryan is maybe a LITTLE faster. Also, I would NOT want to put a guy fresh off a career-threatening-injury against Brock Lesnar first thing, ‘cuz Lesnar might just fucking kill him. O_O

So yeah, those are my thoughts on RAW last night, and the current title picture for the foreseeable future. Leave a comment below what you think about this, as well as your own conclusions, and we’ll see what becomes of the title picture by Survivor Series.

Tales of Dumbassery – Random Wrestling Rants and Ravings

In case ANYONE still wonders why I haven’t a new wrestling show in months, lemme spell it out for you here.

Jyger’s Rant – DOUBLE FEATURE!!!

First off, watch as the action between Ash and Paul heats up in A Real Rival Rouser, plus a little something extra at the end in celebration of my EXTREME incompetence. lol

Next, check out the newest installation of Jyger Watches, as I take a look at Pinkie Pie In Skyrim.

Music is “Roar” by Treat, “The Gonk” from Dawn of the Dead, “Ready To Die” by Andrew W.K., “Intermezzo” from Dragon Quest VIII, “We Will Carry On” from Pokémon, and “Smile Smile Smile” from My Little Pony – Friendship Is Magic. Video clips and images from Pokémon, Scrubs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, WWE Monday Night RAW, Tekken: Blood Vengeance, and Robot Chicken.