Jyger The Mark’s Ramblings – Royal Rumble Aftermath
Okay, so the Royal Rumble has come and gone, so now’s as good enough a time to look and see how I did in my predictions, as well as talk about some of the highlights from the show.
Since the show started with the Steel Cage Match, I’ll start off there. So yeah, pretty much like I thought it would go, with the three of them laying some pretty good beatings on one another, but ultimately Daniel Bryan managed to slip away with the win…quite literally, actually, since Big Show had him in a death grip above the ring and Bryan slipped out of his grasp to fall to the floor below, thus getting the win.
Afterwards, there was a bonus match: An 8-Diva Tag Match. I didn’t really care much for it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Natalya and Beth Phoenix, and I guess Kelly Kelly and Eve are alright, but…well, I guess I’ll just say it: Will somebody please tell me why the hell Alicia Fox got a match on a PPV? She is one of the worst piece of shit wrestlers I have ever seen in my life. Anyway, not much to say, Team Phoenix got the win.
So my reasoning behind Kane winning his match by DQ was simple: Cena needed momentum going into his match with The Rock, and Kane shouldn’t have lost his first big match back. I figured, how else could they pull this off? Well apparently, there was one way that I didn’t think of: A double count-out. Oh, and when it was over, Kane beat the crap outta Cena, got ahold of the already injured (on-screen that is) Zack Ryder, and gave him a Tombstone Piledriver just for fun. So yeah, should be interesting to see where this goes.
After that, I’m pretty sure there was a match between Drew McIntyre and Brutus Clay…At least I think there was. As soon as I saw Brutus come out and start dancing, I retreated into the dark recesses of my mind. Anyway, double checking on Wrestleview.com showed me that Brutus won with the…err, “What The Funk” Body Splash?…Okay…
CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler was again what I expected…with a slight twist, in that John Laurinaitis assigned a different in-ring referee and he essentially became the Special Enforcer/back-up referee. Punk and Ziggles (no I didn’t misspell it, that’s just what I call him sometimes) put on a good show, as I figured they would. I just hope that next time Ziggler gets a shot at the title, the story has more to do with him and not the guy officiating. Anyway, CM Punk wins with Laurinaitis getting in the ring to count along with the ref, continuing the current angle of him trying to suck up to everyone so that he’ll keep his job.
Finally, we came to the Royal Rumble. Before I get to the winner, lemme talk about some of my favourite moments from this Rumble…
As I’ve made clear to people I talk to about wrestling, I really can’t stand Santino. I find him to be a waste of money, especially when you consider that the only reason he ever got a job with WWE is that he gave them a reason to fire Jim Cornette. However I will note that he usually gives some HILARIOUS moments at the Rumble, and this year was no different as he and Mick Foley had a stand off, resulting in them pulling out Mr. Socko and The Cobra. Yeah, forget Cena vs. Rock, forget Hogan vs. Andre, Mr. Socko vs. The Cobra could totally headline Wrestlemania.
Oh, we had some good ones this year. Not including Chris Jericho and Mick Foley, since we knew they’d be in already, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, The Great Khali, and even Kharma all returned to take a crack at winning the Rumble.
I honestly didn’t think anyone could ever beat John Morrison’s use of parkour to avoid elimination, and then I saw THAT. I should definitely make a list of some of the most eye-popping moments in the Rumble, but for now, let us just say that ranks pretty high.
Yep, believe it or not, all three announcers entered the Royal Rumble this year, all the while I was laughing my ass off. And believe it or not, Michael Cole actually lasted longer than The King before…well, remember how I talked about those returns?
If I could, I would make that my screen saver. Seriously, that one move should award her a Slammy.
Anyway, on to the actual winner. You’ll recall I originally picked Chris Jericho, Sheamus, Randy Orton, or Wade Barrett to possibly win the Rumble. And as it turned out, three out of those four made it to the final four of the Rumble, with Jericho, Orton, and Sheamus staring each other and the 30th Entrant, The Big Show, down. Big Show was surprisingly the first of the four to go out, being eliminated by Orton, but then Jericho quickly tossed Orton out as well. After a LONG back and forth fight between Jericho and Sheamus, with multiple near-eliminations between the two, it finally ended with one good kick to the face of Chris Jericho, knocking him from the apron to the floor below, thus awarding Sheamus the victory as he will now move on to challenge the champion of his choosing in the main event at Wrestlemania.
Well, that’s all from me. Hope you all enjoyed the Rumble as much as I did.