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N. Harmonik’s Blind Reaction To Game Theory: Solving Raticate’s “DEATH” (And I’m There Too, lol)

…Had to. lol First, in case you haven’t seen it, here’s the original video…

And now, Aibo’s reaction to it.

 

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 5

For those wondering, it wasn't a quick victory. Raichu kept using Double Team over and over. I forget how many times I missed before finally nailing the little bastard. :P

For those wondering, it wasn’t a quick victory. Raichu kept using Double Team over and over. I forget how many times Trinity missed before finally nailing the little bastard. 😛

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I stepped on board the S.S. Anne looking for a party and instead found myself with a bunch of tough Trainers and my Rival all looking for battles. After beating them all and getting the HM 01 to teach my Pokémon Cut, I cut down the branches blocking the way to the Vermilion City Gym and challenged the Gym Leader, ultimately coming out with a win and the Thunder Badge. This time, before making my way to Rock Tunnel (because a certain lazy sleepyhead Pokémon was blocking the fast way to Lavender Town), I decided to trek through Diglett’s Cave to obtain HM 05, which would be necessary to traverse the dark tunnel.

Y'know what's ironic? Nowadays, Flash has an accuracy of 100%, making it actually kinda useful. Naturally, now that that's the case, it's no longer an HM. lol

Y’know what’s ironic? Nowadays, Flash has an accuracy of 100%, making it actually kinda useful. Naturally, now that that’s the case, it’s no longer an HM. I’m still waiting for Cut to have a new effect or whatever, only for it to be permanently replaced by Rock Smash. lol

After getting the Flash HM, I decided to go around looking for new items…

SO tempted to make the Pokémon cloned from this Amber part of my team when the time comes.

SO tempted to make the Pokémon cloned from this Amber part of my team when the time comes.

…visit move tutors I couldn’t reach before…

And yes, THIS is what I've been waiting to do with Buttery: Sleep Powder + Dream Eater.

And yes, THIS is what I’ve been waiting to do with Buttery: Sleep Powder + Dream Eater.

…and decided to re-challenge old Trainers I fought back on Route 3.

Okay, I'm just gonna say this right now: Can you imagine going on a journey as long as this one for real, going through tall grass and rocky caves, in SHORTS?! o.O

Okay, I’m just gonna say this right now: Can you imagine going on a journey as long as this one for real, going through tall grass and rocky caves, in SHORTS?! o.O

At this point, I was feeling pretty good about myself and my team. In fact, as I was on my way back to Vermilion through Diglett’s Cave, because I don’t have anyone that knows Teleport or Fly, I was thinking to myself about how I’ve kept back-ups for my team in my box and at the Daycare, and how I might someday find myself in a situation where someone on my team is going to die and I’ll have to make a choice as to who that is, but ultimately realized that I couldn’t really consider letting any of them die. The six in my party currently had been doing such a good job, and other than for the sake of traversing certain areas or challenging specific Gyms, I saw no reason to split up a winning team and didn’t wanna see any of them die. And just as I was thinking that…

…This game is intent on giving me a heart attack. I just know it.

Fucking Dugtrio pops up outta nowhere. It had never even occurred to me that I might end up running into another one after Trinity. Heck, more often than not, I’ll usually only ever run into ONE Dugtrio in Diglett’s Cave one time and then never again. But now, here one was, at Level 29, facing down Milo, who was at Level 23. I couldn’t recall him, I couldn’t run away. For a few moments, I was frozen thinking that, because I’d chosen not to have a Flying-type out in front, Milo was about to die. And I just remembered thinking to myself about how, it doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are, how strong you think your team is, and how cool a head you can keep, sooner or later, in a Nuzlocke, somebody dies. And there’s no doubt in my mind that that’s the case. No matter who you are, in a Nuzlocke, someday, somebody will die… … … …but, then again…somedays, everybody lives. 🙂

CLOSEST. BATTLE. EVER.

CLOSEST. BATTLE. EVER.

Thank GOD I had an X Attack and an X Defend in my backpack and had neglected to sell them, because otherwise, there’s NO fucking way, with a 6 level difference and a mass power advantage, that Milo could’ve beaten Dugtrio! And as it was, I still ended up having to use a shit-ton of Potions to keep him alive! Also, not kidding here, the last attack before I took Dugtrio out was a Mud-Slap that nailed a critical and reduced Milo’s accuracy. Milo almost died from a FUCKING MUD-SLAP! That would’ve resulted in the worst eulogy EVER! XD Anyway, after that, I opted to move Edge to the front to deal with Diglett for the rest of the trip, and decided to teach Milo Water Pulse in case something like this ever happened again. Oh, and on top of all that, after surviving that battle, Milo proceeded to find a TM 10, which taught him Hidden Power, and apparently, his Hidden Power is Flying-type, meaning he now has a means of taking on Fighting-types. At this point, I might as well just call Milo the Flukemaster.

Oh, and funny story, Drakeman later took out Machop in a single turn with Bullet Seed. It's almost like him and Milo are trying to out-fluke one another. :P

Oh, and funny story, Drakeman later took out Machop in a single turn with Bullet Seed. It’s almost like him and Milo are trying to out-fluke one another. 😛

So yeah, after all that, I made my way back to Cerulean City and Cut my way to Route 9, where another slew of Trainers were in my way to Rock Tunnel. So, of course, after a quick battle montage…

Yeah, when I'm paralyzed and still getting my turn ahead of you, YOU ARE FREAKING SLOW. lol

Yeah, when I’m paralyzed and still getting my turn ahead of you, YOU ARE FREAKING SLOW. lol

... ... ...KEEP YOUR FETISHES TO YOURSELF! o.O

… … …KEEP YOUR FETISHES TO YOURSELF!

First time seeing Charmander, if I'm not mistaken. Awesome. ^_^

First time seeing Charmander, if I’m not mistaken. Awesome. ^_^

Y'know, I can't help but watch this and cringe at the thought of the dental work poor Milo is going to require.

Y’know, I can’t help but watch this and cringe at the thought of the dental work poor Milo is going to require.

Suffice to say, Dream Eater? Working out well for me. :)

Suffice to say, Dream Eater? Working out well for me. 🙂

…I made it to Route 10 and the entrance of Rock Tunnel. Of course, this meant I had new Pokémon I could obtain, so I opted to take care of that first. Especially since I hadn’t caught anything in a while and still needed new Dex pages.

I was gonna call him Bolder, but I didn't know his Nature. Wish we could check that stuff before giving nicknames.

I was gonna call him Bolder, but I didn’t know his Nature. Wish we could check that stuff before giving nicknames. Also, I kinda forgot to get a picture of the other Pokémon I caught: A Voltorb I named Bro-Orb. I’ll include it in the next part. lol

With that out of the way, and having taught Flash to Bro-Orb, I made my way into Rock Tunnel. Unfortunately, I had to go sans Buttery, since I figured the mass number of Rock-types in Rock Tunnel could end disastrously for her, so she missed out on some training. Will have to make this up to her later. Anyway, I ventured into Rock Tunnel and had Bro-Orb hit the Flash…and I swear, somedays, I feel like we depend on Pokémon hidden techniques far too often to get around. You give me a lamp with plenty of fuel to keep it lit, and I’ll make it through this tunnel with little to no difficulty. But yeah, new dungeon meant another battle montage!

Y'know, I don't really feel like arguing cute Pokémon vs big ones. I get the points on either side. Still, I'm just gonna say this: In a Nuzlocke, where you're taking on progressively stronger opponents and criticals can equal death? Go big.

Y’know, I don’t really feel like arguing cute Pokémon vs big ones. I get the points on either side. Still, I’m just gonna say this: In a Nuzlocke, where you’re taking on progressively stronger opponents and criticals can equal death? Go big. There’re exceptions, of course, but for the most part? Bigger is better.

And another Charmander! Kinda weird place to train one, though.

And another Charmander! Kinda weird place to train one, though.

Actually, I have a friend who once cosplayed as Eevee. Was adorable. lol

Actually, I have a friend who once cosplayed as Eevee. Was adorable. lol

Heh, funny you should mention that...

Heh, funny you should mention that…

And I thought cats hated water. :P

And I thought cats hated water. 😛

Something that's always bugged me about dungeons in Pokémon: Other than Strength puzzles, there aren't a lot of dungeons that have traditional RPG puzzle solving. That's more saved for the Gyms. What's up with that?

Something that’s always bugged me about dungeons in Pokémon: Other than Strength puzzles, there aren’t a lot of dungeons that have traditional RPG puzzle solving. That’s more saved for the Gyms. What’s up with that?

So, one or two members of my team learned new tricks in the dungeon...

So, one or two members of my team learned new tricks in the dungeon…

...I think they may have been concerned that Milo was showing them up. lol

…I think they may have been concerned that Milo was showing them up. lol

FIRE AWAY! :D

FIRE AWAY! 😀

Okay, gotta ask: Do ALL creepy perverts in the Pokémon world wear bright red and blue? Am I just wearing the wrong clothes or something?

Okay, gotta ask: Do ALL creepy perverts in the Pokémon world wear bright red and blue? Am I just wearing the wrong clothes or something?

... ... ... ...Screw it. :P

… … … … … …

… … … …Screw it. Pokémon MMD clips, I need you again!

Thank you!

Umm... ... ...no. lol

Umm… … …no. lol

Oh hey, it's one of the missing Dudley Boyz! I guess Big Daddy Dudley had some women in Kanto, too. XD

Oh hey, it’s one of the missing Dudley Boyz! I guess Big Daddy Dudley had some ‘close friends’ in Kanto, too. XD

Anyway, that was pretty much my trip through Rock Tunnel in a nutshell. Although, that said, just before I got out and into Lavender Town…

…Yyyeah, despite Oswald and Drakeman’s best efforts, I think it’s safe to say that Milo was the MVP of this part. lol Also, while I’m gonna miss him finding items all the time, immunity to paralysis is gonna be great.

But yeah, with that, I safely made it to Lavender Town and rested up my team. Next time, I’ll be checking the town out before heading to Celadon City and gaining my fourth badge, but not before I get a couple of things done, like getting a shot of Bro-Orb. lol Ja né!

For reference, this was my team at the beginning of Part 5...

For reference, this was my team at the beginning of Part 5…

...and this is my team at the end of it. lol

…and this is my team at the end of it. lol

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 4.2

My team at the beginning of this phase.

My team at the beginning of this phase.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I arrived in Vermilion City, but in order to better ready myself both for the Trainers on the S.S. Anne and Lt. Surge, and to increase the number of pages in my Pokédex, I used my new VS Seeker to re-challenge Trainers I’d previously encountered for additional Experience in order to level up and evolve my team. This time, feeling ready for battle, I took my team to the S.S. Anne.

And for those wondering, who have never played these remakes of the original games, yes, the truck is still there, and NO, there is not a Mew under it...though you CAN find a Lava Cookie.

And for those wondering, who have never played these remakes of the original games, yes, the truck is still there, and NO, there is not a Mew under it…though you CAN find a Lava Cookie.

I quickly learned that, while the bulk of the party had ended, there were still a number of rowdy Trainers on board looking for battles. Feeling prepared, I took my team inside and unleashed hell upon the ship’s passengers and crew.

Wish I'd gotten a screenshot of this, but his Growlithe? First time I've ever seen Roar fail.

Wish I’d gotten a screenshot of this, but his Growlithe? First time I’ve ever seen Roar fail.

Yeah, I keep hearing about how Trainers on this ship found their Pokémon from all over the place, and yet I think I can count on one hand the number of Pokémon on this ship that you can't find up to this point.

Yeah, I keep hearing about how Trainers on this ship found their Pokémon from all over the place, and yet I think I can count on one hand the number of Pokémon on this ship that you can’t catch or see up to this point.

Like this fellow, for example. ^_^

Like this fellow, for example. ^_^

Or this one. Also, kinda surprised to see this Tentacool could tank a Confusion as easily as it did. I think it only did like 50% of his HP.

Or this one. Also, kinda surprised to see that this Tentacool could tank a Confusion as easily as it did. I think it only did like 50% of his HP, and then he smacked Buttery around for her lunch money for a few rounds before he finally went down.

Never has that been more true than in a Nuzlocke Challenge.

Never has that been more true than in a Nuzlocke Challenge.

See now, this guy investigates Team Rocket from a luxury cruiser and barely gets anything done. If Looker was here with a suitcase full of disguises and a single Pokémon, he'd have the organization on its knees by now. lol

See now, this guy investigates Team Rocket from a luxury cruiser and barely gets anything done. If Looker was here with just a suitcase full of disguises, a single Pokémon, and a preteen sidekick, he’d have the organization on its knees by now. lol

Okay, who leaves a Hyper Potion just sitting around in a bucket??? o.O

Okay, who leaves a Hyper Potion just sitting around in a bucket??? o.O

So where's Dewey and Louie? :P

So where’re Dewey and Louie? 😛 Also, gotta say, I prefer the older Sailor sprites. Made them look a lot more butch.

Oh God, was he ever off. o.O

Oh God, could you imagine if there were only the first 100? There’d be only two Ice-types, seven Psychic-types, no Legendaries, no Eevee, Voltorb wouldn’t be able to evolve, and no Dragon-type Pokémon to speak of outside of Mega Charizard X. o.O

After a while, I managed to beat all the Trainers on board, so I decided to head to the Captain’s cabin, having heard that he was apparently some kind of sword-master who could teach Pokémon how to use Cut to go through branches blocking paths. However, as it turned out, I wasn’t the only one with that idea, as Tim was waiting for me on the way there and itching for a fight.

Okay, I know the idea is to make it seem like our Rival is WAY ahead of us, but I think if he had over 40 Pokémon, he wouldn't have a team of FOUR.

Okay, I know the idea is to make it seem like our Rival is WAY ahead of us, but I think if he had over 40 Pokémon, he wouldn’t have a team of FOUR.

*sigh* What could've been. I suppose I could always get an Abra at the Celadon Game Corner, though. Still, not like I could evolve it into Alakazam anyway...

*sigh* What could’ve been. I suppose I could always get an Abra at the Celadon Game Corner, though. Still, not like I could evolve it into Alakazam anyway…

Hey, you evolved your Starter Pokémon! And it only took you 3 badges and the majority of a lap around the western half of Kanto to do it. -_-

Hey, you evolved your Starter Pokémon! And it only took you 3 badges and the majority of a lap around the western half of Kanto to do it. -_-

Anyway, having beaten Tim for…God, what is this? The fourth time now? And he’s still ahead of me? Whatever, I beat Tim and made my way into the captain’s cabin, where I-

OH, DEAR LORD, THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER! WEEZING, MUKE, AND GARBODOR ARE RECOILING IN DISGUST OVER THAT!

OH, DEAR LORD, THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER! WEEZING, MUK, AND GARBODOR ARE RECOILING IN DISGUST OVER THAT!

Oh God, the things I do to earn badges...T_T

Oh God, the things I do to earn badges…T_T

After much deliberation, I decided not to make Hank my Cut Slave, since that'd mean either grinding him up in levels too or risking his death. Trinity's a much better choice for now.

After much deliberation, I decided not to make Hank my Cut Slave, since that’d mean either grinding him up in levels too or risking his death. Trinity’s a much better choice for now.

Y'know, I get why the original games do this, but why is it, in FireRed and LeafGreen, are you forced to leave the port after the S.S. Anne leaves and can never return to get that Lava Cookie?

Y’know, I get why the original games do this, but why is it, in FireRed and LeafGreen, are you forced to leave the port after the S.S. Anne leaves and can never return to get that Lava Cookie?

So, with Cut in hand, I headed back to the Pokémon Center to heal up and plan for the Gym. With the Trainers inside focusing on Electric-type Pokémon, most of my team would be at a severe disadvantage. As such, I decided to go in with Drakeman, Oswald, and Trinity. With preparations complete, I entered the Gym and took on the slew of Electric-types.

Seriously, how the hell is America canon in the Pokémon World when no other real world country seems to exist? O_O

Seriously, how the hell is America canon in the Pokémon World when no other real world country seems to exist? O_O

I'm not even touching this one. :P

I’m not even touching this one. 😛

Admittedly, Trinity did most of the heavy lifting in this Gym, but Drakeman and Oswald DID see their share of combat.

Admittedly, Trinity did most of the heavy lifting in this Gym, but Drakeman and Oswald DID see their share of combat.

Admittedly, I kinda wish Surge's Raichu was more like it was in the anime: Possessing powerful attacks but lacking any kind of defensive moves.

Admittedly, I kinda wish Surge’s Raichu was more like it was in the anime: Possessing powerful attacks but lacking any kind of defensive moves.

Three badges, baby! :D

Three badges, baby! 😀

So, with my third Gym Badge finally obtained, I decided to heal up and call it a day. Next time, I’ll be heading through Diglett’s Cave to go back and get some previously unobtainable items before trekking through Rock Tunnel to get to Lavender Town. Ja né!

Also, I taught Milo Cut since Trinity is instead going to be a back-up Ground-type for Oswald.

Also, I taught Milo Cut since Trinity is instead going to be a back-up Ground-type for Oswald.

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 3

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

My team at the beginning of this phase of my journey.

Last time in the Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Challenge, I headed into Mt. Moon, battled several tough Trainers, added new members to my team, evolved a couple of pre-existing ones, took down several members of Team Rocket, and obtained both the Dome Fossil and Moon Stones. This time, starting off in Cerulean City, I decided to prep my team for taking on Misty by battling the Trainers on my way to meeting up with Bill the Pokémaniac, creator of the PC Storage System. Before that, though, I decided to swoop back to Route 4 (the eastern half of it, anyway) and do some training. And, while I was there, I caught a new Pokémon.

No, I've never watched From Dusk till Dawn, but I was trying to come up with a nickname for this, and that was the best I could think of. lol

No, I’ve never watched From Dusk till Dawn, but I was trying to come up with a nickname for this, and that was the best I could think of. lol

…I’ll be honest, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with this one. Not because I have any kind of issue with Ekans, just that my team has already become a little Poison heavy, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Still, might be a good idea to have it as a back-up. In the meantime, though, I had…slightly different snakes to concern myself with.

"Which is why I only have a team of 4!" XP

“Which is why I only have a team of 4!” XP

I swear, it's almost like this Abra is here specifically for the purpose of getting the newbie on your team some experience.

I swear, it’s almost like this Abra is here specifically for the purpose of getting the newbie on your team some experience. That said, probably the best use of Leech Life and Astonish I’ve ever gotten.

...Okay, I'm with Petty on this one: You fucking hack evolved your Level 17 Pidgey into a Pidgeotto, but you didn't evolve your Level 18 Starter? WTF? o.O

…Okay, I’m with Petty Artist on this one: You fucking hack evolved your Level 17 Pidgey into a Pidgeotto, but you didn’t evolve your Level 18 Starter? I honestly can’t think of anyway this guy could insult me as a Trainer any more than thinking I couldn’t handle his Ivysaur at this point.

...I stand corrected. I'm gonna kill one of your Pokémon the next time we meet.

… …Okay, well, I stand corrected. Tim, I’m gonna kill one of your Pokémon the next time we meet.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I decided to make my way to-

...Hel-loooooo. :D

…Hel-loooooo. 😀

Honestly, at this point, Oswald's kinda become my primary battler for dealing with other Poison-types, unless I'm confident that Buttery can get a quick Confusion in without getting hit.

Honestly, at this point, Oswald’s kinda become my primary battler for dealing with other Poison-types, unless I’m confident that Buttery can get a quick Confusion in without getting hit.

...SERIOUSLY! What IS it with these people not evolving their Pokémon?! Although it was HILARIOUS when I had Oswald use Focus Energy, and then immediately after, the Nidoran did it, like he was trying to copy his big brother or something. :P

…SERIOUSLY! What IS it with these people not evolving their Pokémon?! Although it was hilariously adorable when I had Oswald use Focus Energy, and then immediately after, the Nidoran did it, like he was trying to copy his big brother or something. 😛

... ... ...Why, hello, Pork Laser. It's been a while. WELCOME TO DIE.

… … …Why, hello, Pork Laser. It’s been a while. WELCOME TO DIE.

YES! :D

YES! 😀

... ... ...OH...Wait, does that mean the others were all members of Team Rocket, too? Some of them were kinda young to be grunts, is all.

… … …OH…Wait, does that mean the others were all members of Team Rocket, too? Some of them were kinda young to be grunts, is all.

Seriously, what was your plan? That you were somehow going to beat a guy who had taken down five other Trainers with your two Pokémon? It's not like you were even higher leveled than the rest of them, either. The girl with the twin Nidoran was tougher than you.

Seriously, what was your plan? That you were somehow going to beat a guy who had taken down five other Trainers with your two Pokémon? It’s not like you were even higher leveled than the rest of them, either. The girl with the twin Nidoran was tougher than you.

Anyway, now that I’d gotten past Nugget Bridge, I found myself with…a grassy patch on Routes 24. This is where I got a little nervous. Not because there was anything in the grass that could kill anyone on my team, but because it is known for being home to ABRA. And…well, I’ve gotten to know my luck as it pertains to rare Pokémon at this point. If I ran into Abra, there was no way I was gonna catch one before it could teleport away, and that’d be TWO ROUTES locked off on my journey at that point. So, with fingers crossed, I entered the patch of grass, and…

Fuck, I'll take it! I don't even care that I named it after Hank Pym, I'll take it! XD

Fuck, I’ll take it! I don’t even care that I named it after Hank Pym, I’ll take it! XD

So, with that done, I let out a sigh of relief…and then recalled that Abra was on Route 25 as well. Because why not at this point? I also knew there were Kakuna on Route 25, too, so I decided that, so I wouldn’t end up wasting that Route on the evolved form of a Pokémon I already had, that I should first evolve Hank.

And since I'd gone to the trouble of getting a Kakuna, I thought "What the hell?". lol

And since I’d gone to the trouble of getting a Kakuna, I thought “What the hell, let’s go all the way to Beedrill.” So…

I wonder if I should tell him I'm planning to use him as my Cut slave? :P

Aww, he looks so happy to be fully evolved… … …I wonder if I should tell him I’m planning to use him as my Cut HM Slave? 😛

And thus, with a Beedrill in my box, I headed for Route 25 and waited to see what I’d find…

...Well, I think I know who is gonna be fighting Misty's Staryu. :)

…Well, I think I know who is gonna be fighting Misty’s Staryu. 🙂

Now that I’d caught a couple of new Pokémon, I decided it was time to make my way to Bill’s, while training my team up for Misty by battling the Trainers and wild Pokémon in the area. And thus, TRAINING MONTAGE TIME!

Hmm, not quite as epic as Mr. Satan's, but good nonetheless.

Hmm, not quite as epic as Mr. Satan’s, but good nonetheless. lol

"Sempai noticed me! And then he blew me the fuck away!" XD

“Sempai noticed me! And then he blew me the fuck away!” XD

It's always strange to find someone with the same Pokémon as a Gym Leader one city away, only higher leveled. It's like "Why wasn't THIS person the Gym Leader?"

It’s always strange to find someone with the same Pokémon as a Gym Leader one city away, only higher leveled. It’s like “Why wasn’t THIS person the Gym Leader?”

As you can see, Katherine's kinda stopped being as helpless as she was when I caught her. :)

As you can see, Katherine’s kinda stopped being as helpless as she was when I caught her. 🙂

Okay, THIS asshole scared the shit outta me, and here’s why: I totally forgot that Slowpoke learn Confusion at Level 17 in FireRed and LeafGreen. I guess I must’ve had the other Generation III games on the mind, wherein Slowpoke doesn’t learn Confusion until Level 20. As such, I sent Drakeman in to deal with him, thinking the best he could do was Water Gun. When Confusion hit, I thought for sure I was about to see my first casualty. And how I didn’t, I’ll NEVER know. O_O

...Sure enough, I ran into three of these things, and before I could hit them and try to beat them for Exp, they each Teleported away.

…Sure enough, I ran into three of these things, and before I could hit them and try to beat them for Exp, they each Teleported away.

With all the Trainers on the way to Bill’s place defeated, I made my way inside. Problem was, Bill didn’t seem to be home. Instead, there was a Clefairy sitting around…with a human face… … …At this point, I was ready to piss myself in terror. Then it started talking. And thus, a thousand Creepy Pastas were written. 😛

Yeah, I know it's really Bill. I've never understood this line of dialogue, though. Why would he say that?

Yeah, I’m kidding, I know it’s really Bill. I’ve never understood this line of dialogue, though. Why would he say that?

The technology of the Pokémon world will never cease to astound me. Why can't humanity be inspired to make stuff based on this like we are with Star Trek?

The technology of the Pokémon world will never cease to astound me. Why can’t humanity be inspired to make Poké Balls and PC Storage Systems like we are with stuff from Star Trek?

Yeah, not gonna lie, I'm kinda with Bill on this one. Maybe it's just because I prefer to dress like a dirtbag hipster, but whatevs. lol

Yeah, not gonna lie, I’m kinda with Bill on this one. Maybe it’s just because I prefer to dress like a dirtbag hipster, but whatevs. I’ll take the free tickets to a cruise liner party.

So these must be the "lots of pages to my Pokédex" that Tim was talking about. Don't get me wrong, I love Eevee and the Eeveelutions (that sounds like a band), but it's FOUR pages. I had that many when I first got the freaking 'dex.

So these must be the “lots of pages to my Pokédex” that Tim was talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love Eevee and the Eeveelutions (that sounds like a band), but it’s FOUR pages. I had that many when I first got the freaking ‘dex.

Anyway, with that done, I decided to head back to Cerulean City, just in time to notice a house had been broken into. The officer outside said it was Team Rocket…well, no shit. I could see the Goddamn Rocket Grunt standing in the back yard from right there. How do you not see that? Apparently, the police in Kanto are completely inept, OR they’re on the take. It’s one or the other. Either way, I decided I’d need to go all vigilante and take the law into my own hands by dealing with the grunt myself.

...No. The Team Rocket uniform kinda gives you away. In fact, why aren't you wearing a disguise like your buddy on Nugget Bridge? o.O

…No. The Team Rocket uniform kinda gives you away. In fact, why aren’t you wearing a disguise like your buddy on Nugget Bridge? o.O

One rather embarrasing asskicking later. lol

One rather embarrassing ass-kicking later. lol

Man, could you imagine if EVERYBODY was able to deal with loss of property that well?

Man, could you imagine if EVERYBODY was able to deal with loss of property that well?

Yeah, we never really did find out what that was about, huh?

Yeah, we never really did find out what that was about, huh?

And thus, with Team Rocket beaten down again, the Nugget Bridge conquered, a few more pages added to my Pokédex, and some much-needed training done, it was finally time to deal with Misty. As always, I went into battle using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader’s, meaning I needed to decide which two would take on her Staryu and Starmie. I’d already decided that, based on type and overall performance (and luck) thus far that Drakeman would lead against her Staryu, but there was still the matter of her Starmie. Katherine now knew Bite, but I wasn’t sure if she could one hit KO her opponent, nor was I confident in her ability to tank a Water Pulse from a Starmie. I could’ve worked to evolve her into a Golbat, as I had thought about before, but that felt like I’d be committing to making her a full member of my team, and with Oswald and Drakeman in the party already, I was clearly a bit too Poison heavy. As such, I ultimately decided to go with Mikey, matching his bulk against Starmie’s Special Attack. With my two party members chosen, I headed for the Gym…

Not kidding, first time using Bullet Seed, and it hit 5 times. Seriously, Drakeman, you are the luckiest Goddamn Oddish EVER, not to mention one hell of a trooper. Speaking of, btw? I was originally gonna name him Steve. I’m not kidding, if he survives to Lavender Town and that kind of crap keeps happening to him, I’m changing his name. lol

Honestly? Not as bad a policy as some would suggest.

Honestly? Not as bad a policy as some would suggest.

Not gonna lie: I had to use a LOT of Potions in this battle. Also, I wanted to punch myself for not raising Mikey ONE LEVEL so that he'd learn Bite. Once again, my lack of memory of the movepools in this game nearly gets one of my team members killed. Clearly, something I'm going to have to be a LOT more careful of.

Not gonna lie: I had to use a LOT of Potions in this battle. Also, I wanted to punch myself for not raising Mikey ONE LEVEL so that he’d learn Bite. Once again, my lack of memory of the movepools in this game nearly gets one of my team members killed. Clearly, something I’m going to have to be a LOT more careful of.

Two badges down, six to go. :)

Two badges down, six to go. 🙂

With the Cascade Badge in hand, my business in Cerulean City was finally complete… … …BUT, before I called it a day, there was still one last thing I had to do. After healing up and withdrawing my team, I called out Oswald and gave him one of the Moon Stones I’d found in Mt. Moon, and watched as he evolved to his final stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most powerful member currently on my team, and the Pokémon who will lead said team to victory against Lt. Surge.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the most powerful member currently on my team, and the Pokémon who will lead said team to victory against Lt. Surge.

So, once again, I managed to get through a phase of my journey with no fatalities. Still, I can tell that what luck I’ve had thus far is gonna run out soon, so I’m gonna have to play it smarter next time, as I make my way south to Vermilion City in order to attend the S.S. Anne party and battle Lt. Surge for the Thunder Badge. Ja né!

We're gonna need a LOT more training to deal with Surge...

We’re gonna need a lot more training and a lot less weaknesses to Electric attacks to deal with Surge. But where can I find a really strong and swift Ground-type?

Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 1

Decided to just stick with my real name for this.

Decided to just stick with my real name for this.

…Well, it’s good to know that this Let’s Play is apparently cursed and is going to fight me at every frigging turn. lol Let me explain: As I said before, attempts to record footage of the game ended in the audio becoming desynced. Hence, I’ve had to resort to doing this LP in this format, with only text and the occasional screencaps. But then, on top of that, about a half hour into doing this playthrough, I realized that I was using a hacked version of FireRed that I was fooling around with a few years ago, and thus had to start all over again. Between that and some stuff I’ll talk about as I continue, it’s clear that my first ever Nuzlocke Challenge is going to be…interesting, let’s just say. But, let’s get started with how things went in THIS playthrough.

Seemed appropriate. Sorry, Tim. :P

Seemed appropriate. Sorry, Tim. 😛

So, what was the first major sign that this LP was gonna try and screw with me at every turn? Well, before I realized the version I was using beforehand was hacked, I got to start off my adventure with my favourite of the Kanto Starter Pokémon, Bulbasaur. Upon having to restart, however, I took one look at my Trainer ID Number…

...For the record, the last digit in the previous attempt was 1.

…For the record, the last digit in the previous attempt was 1.

And realized that meant starting with…

This is punishment for leaving you out of my six favourite Generation I Pokémon, isn't it? lol

This is punishment for leaving you out of my six favourite Generation I Pokémon, isn’t it? lol

Although, in all honesty, this probably worked out for the best. There are a LOT of Flying-types in early Kanto that could be a nightmare for Bulbasaur, especially Spearow. And in a world where critical hits could very well equal death, that’s not a chance I necessarily wanna take. Also, what’s hilarious is that, as stated before, I was excluding the initial Rival battle in terms of whether a loss there would be a game over because of how luck based it’d be. In the first playthrough, I lost. Here?

Thank you, Bold Nature, for giving my Squirtle a higher Physical Attack than Tim's Bulbasaur. ^_^

Thank you, Brave Nature, for giving my Squirtle a higher Physical Attack than Tim’s Bulbasaur. ^_^

That said, I was quick to learn that Mikey (yes, I named him after a Ninja Turtle, leave me alone, lol) is a freaking magnet for critical hits, especially from Pidgey. Now, he can tank those hits alright, but when they kept happening over and over, it became clear that this little bastard was trying to kill me via heart attack.

Honestly, it's no wonder that most games nowadays skip the whole fetch-quest BS and just have you get the Pokédex from the start. Although, it DOES further my theory that kids today don't earn shit in Pokémon and just have everything handed to them. lol

Honestly, it’s no wonder that most games nowadays skip the whole fetch-quest BS and just have you get the Pokédex from the start. Although, it DOES further my theory that kids today don’t earn shit in Pokémon and just have everything handed to them. lol

Anyway, after defeating Tim, I headed up to Viridian City, got Oak’s Parcel, and delivered it back to him, receiving the Pokédex and 5 Poké Balls in exchange, which meant it was time to start catching new party members. Unfortunately, Route 22 ended up being locked off from me because of one little bastard Mankey that refused to be caught, even though it was in the red and next to dead. I was even gonna name it Pork Laser (closest I could get to a Brock Lesnar reference). But nope, this Mankey decided that Pork Laser would not be a thing this LP, at which point I decided this little bastard had to die. But, I still managed to catch three other team members…

Because there is no Robin Pokémon in FireRed. lol

Because there is no Robin Pokémon in FireRed. lol

Please tell me I don't need to explain this reference.

Please tell me I don’t need to explain this reference.

Let's just say I have a tendency to waggle my fingers when I say this one's name. :P

Let’s just say I have a tendency to waggle my fingers when I say this one’s name. 😛

…and, with my kooky quartet, I managed to beat Tim on Route 22…albeit with Mikey AGAIN almost getting killed by Pidgey. At this point, I pretty much decided that I would never send him out to fight Pidgey ever again. Although, what was hilarious was when Mikey got hit by a second critical hit, and then came back with his own to beat Pidgey. But, I’m sure you’re all wondering how the team did against Brock. Well, after a quick training montage…

MAN, Metapod's Physical Attack SUCKS. lol

MAN, Metapod’s Physical Attack SUCKS. lol

Keep in mind, this was back when Water Gun was the superior choice to Bubble.

Keep in mind, this was back when Water Gun was the superior choice to Bubble.

With a Nature that benefits Special Attack. Ooh, I'm gonna have some fun with this...XD

With a Nature that benefits Special Attack. Ooh, I’m gonna have some fun with this…XD

Sure, NOW I run into you...lol

Sure, NOW I run into you…lol

And the head-popping begins. 3:D

And the head-popping begins. 😀

…I made my way to the Pewter City Gym. I was a little nervous going in, though, fully aware that, aside from having a Squirtle instead of a Charmeleon, I was using the same team that Team Four Star used against Brock in THEIR Nuzlocke, and that battle ended with the deaths of everyone but their Starter (although I always limit myself to using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader, so that wasn’t going to happen). But with that said, Mikey WAS the difference maker. ^_^

Yeah, probably not shocking anyone, but Mikey beat both Geodude and Onix 2-1.

Yeah, probably not shocking anyone, but Mikey beat both Geodude and Onix 2-1.

So yeah, that was the battle with Brock. Earned my first badge, and considered the first chapter of my first Nuzlocke complete with NO DEATHS. So, basically, did a lot better than I expected. With that said, next up is Mt. Moon and the first encounter with Team Rocket. Hope you guys have enjoyed thus far, and I’ll see you back here for Part 2. Ja né!

Minnie's still low leveled so that I've got someone who won't outright kill anyone I try to catch next. lol

Minnie’s still low leveled so that I’ve got someone who won’t outright kill anyone I try to catch next. lol

My Dream Pokémon Yellow Remake – The Elite Four

…Screw it, we’re talking Elite Four in my dream remake of Pokémon Yellow. lol

Elite Four #1: Lorelei

Weavile

  • Level: 54
  • Attacks: Ice Punch, Night Slash, Swagger, Double Team
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Pressure

Cloyster

  • Level: 53
  • Attacks: Hail, Blizzard, Hydro Pump, Spikes
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Shell Armor

Dewgong

  • Level: 54
  • Attacks: Aqua Ring, Safeguard, Ice Beam, Aqua Tail
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Thick Fat

Jynx

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Attract, Draining Kiss, Blizzard, Perish Song
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Oblivious

Lapras

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Surf, Safeguard, Ice Beam, Confuse Ray
  • Held Item: Sitrus Berry
  • Ability: Water Absorb

Elite Four #2: Bruno

Hitmontop

  • Level: 55
  • Attacks: Bulldoze, Rolling Kick, Triple Kick, Fake Out
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Technician

Hitmonchan

  • Level: 53
  • Attacks: Thunder Punch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch, Sky Uppercut
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Iron Fist

Hitmonlee

  • Level: 54
  • Attacks: High Jump Kick, Mind Reader, Blaze Kick, Close Combat
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Reckless

Poliwrath

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Circle Throw, Mind Reader, Dynamic Punch, Hydro Pump
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Water Absorb

Machamp

  • Level: 58
  • Attacks: Close Combat, Stone Edge, Knock Off, Dual Chop
  • Held Item: Sitrus Berry
  • Ability: Guts

Elite Four #3: Agatha

Gengar

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Toxic, Hex, Venoshock, Foul Play
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Levitate

Misdreavus

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Destiny Bond, Thunder Wave, Confuse Ray, Shadow Ball
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Levitate

Haunter

  • Level: 55
  • Attacks: Shadow Ball, Curse, Dazzling Gleam, Dark Pulse
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Levitate

Mismagius

  • Level: 58
  • Attacks: Phantom Force, Will-O-Wisp, Psychic, Dark Pulse
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Levitate

Gengar

  • Level: 60
  • Attacks: Hypnosis, Dream Eater, Confuse Ray, Shadow Ball
  • Held Item: Sitrus Berry
  • Ability: Levitate

Elite Four #4: Lance

Druddigon

  • Level: 58
  • Attacks: Draco Meteor, Gunk Shot, Iron Head, Superpower
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Sheer Force

Dragonair

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Dragon Tail, Thunder Wave, Aqua Tail, Ice Beam
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Marvel Scale

Dragonair

  • Level: 56
  • Attacks: Fire Blast, Outrage, Iron Tail, Swagger
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Shed Skin

Kingdra

  • Level: 60
  • Attacks: Focus Energy, Hydro Pump, Iron Head, Dragon Pulse
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Sniper

Dragonite

  • Level: 62
  • Attacks: Dragon Dance, Dragon Rush, Fire Blast, Draco Meteor
  • Held Item: Sitrus Berry
  • Ability: Inner Focus

Champion: Gary

Umbreon

  • Level: 63
  • Attacks: Foul Play, Confuse Ray, Toxic, Protect
  • Held Item: Chople Berry
  • Ability: Synchronize

Electivire

  • Level: 60
  • Attacks: Ion Deluge, Protect, Wild Charge, Ice Punch
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Motor Drive

Rhyperior

  • Level: 61
  • Attacks: Earthquake, Rock Wrecker, Megahorn, Fire Punch
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Solid Rock

Arcanine (if he doesn’t have Charizard)

  • Level: 62
  • Attacks: Flare Blitz, Wild Charge, Extreme Speed, Outrage
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Intimidate

Cloyster (if he doesn’t have Blastoise)

  • Level: 62
  • Attacks: Icicle Spear, Rock Blast, Iron Defense, Surf
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Skill Link

Exeggutor (if he doesn’t have Venusaur)

  • Level: 62
  • Attacks: Wood Hammer, Psychic, Sleep Powder, Ancient Power
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Chlorophyll

Venusaur (if he lost both initial battles)

  • Level: 65
  • Attacks: Frenzy Plant, Synthesis, Sludge Bomb, Knock Off
  • Held Item: Venusaurite
  • Ability: Overgrow

Charizard (if he lost one of the initial battles and won the other)

  • Level: 65
  • Attacks: Blast Burn, Air Slash, Solar Beam, Dragon Claw
  • Held Item: Charizardite Y
  • Ability: Blaze

Blastoise (if he won both initial battles)

  • Level: 65
  • Attacks: Hydro Cannon, Aura Sphere, Dragon Pulse, Ice Beam
  • Held Item: Blastoisinite
  • Ability: Torrent

…Also, if you haven’t guessed yet, I plan to do something for the 20th Anniversary in February. So, expect a few more Pokémon-related articles from now til then. 😛 Anyway, lemme know what you think of this line up, and see you the next time I wanna talk Pokémon, which shouldn’t take long. lol Ja né!