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Justice League United #11 Review – Where’d Everybody Go??? (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So, it’s been a while since I did a full review of a comic, and since this is the book that grants the wish of so many within the Poison Ivy League, seeing her operating as a hero again (kinda), I figured I should give it a shot. Before I go too in-depth on my thoughts, though, let’s run down the plot first.

The comic starts with a monologue by Adam Strange, who is apparently trapped within the Zeta Beams, as he watches Animal Man, Stargirl, Alanna Strange, and Equinox recruiting a group of people for a mission. Specifically, they recruit Mera, Swamp Thing, Poison Ivy, and Etrigan to deal with something called a Breaker. More or less, in the aftermath of Convergence, anomalies in space and time have emerged on Earth 0 that are tearing up the fabric of reality (or something like that, anyway), and the JLU are recruiting both heroes and villains to deal with each Breaker as they appear. Where are the rest of the team? Well, apparently, Supergirl, Green Arrow, and Martian Manhunter all left the team without so much as a warning or an explanation. As such, Adam Strange is picking out people based on how they’d perform in each specific mission, although Ivy jokes that, with her and Mera on the same team, that he just has a redhead fetish…No comment. lol Anyway, Equinox is sent as the League representative for the mission with the four individuals selected, and they go to deal with the Breaker. Specifically, a massive red blob of some sort, neither animal nor plant-life but having elements of both, has appeared in the middle of the ocean. Unfortunately, as they arrive, Poison Ivy and Swamp Thing realize that they’ve been cut off from The Green, just as the Breaker begins its assault on the team, leaving Adam Strange to watch as he determines that they’re about to see if he selected wisely.

So, let’s talk for a sec about…well, I suppose the big thing for me: Poison Ivy. First off, not a fan of the fact that she’s introduced in this comic as pushing drugs, although it at least makes more sense than Superman pushing super pills in Injustice. 😛 Otherwise, while it initially bugged me how much she seemed to be complaining throughout the issue, specifically as it pertained to why she was there, I have to admit that, once I put myself in her shoes, it made a bit more sense. If I was drafted for a mission in the middle of nowhere, with no idea of what I was supposed to do or why I was even there, especially given that Swamp Thing was also on the team, I’d probably be less than completely okay with everything going on. Hopefully, this is leading somewhere that’ll resolve that issue.

The other major thing that bugs me is the idea that half of the original team just left without so much as a word. I get that Martian Manhunter is supposed to be this big question mark of a character nowadays, but his connection with his team-mates should’ve at least given him enough of a conscience to come up with an excuse. As for Supergirl and Green Arrow, I seriously find that to be complete horse-crap. In fact, given that there seems to be a lot that went on between issues 10 and 11, and the massive overhaul of the team and its dynamics, it feels like this either should’ve been a completely different team altogether, or a new volume of the book, either way providing an issue 0 to explain what the hell happened in the gap. To be honest, given the nature of what they’re dealing with, it feels more like a Justice League Dark mission… … …What happened to them, anyway?

The last thing I wanna address has to deal with Mera. I have no idea what’s going on in the Aquaman book, but I do not like the idea of Mera basically on a manhunt for her husba-Oh wait, forgot, Dan Didio said no to married heroes, and only Animal Man seemed to slip through the cracks and keep his intact (and thank God he did, btw). I dunno, she just comes off as way too angry and one-track minded about hunting Arthur down. As a side-note, though, I DID love the line from Animal Man talking about how he’s been mistaken for Aquaman on occasion. Now, as a MASSIVE comic geek, I can honestly say that I’ve never once mistaken the two, but I HAVE seen it happen, and I seem to recall even in-universe, other heroes have mistaken how his powers work for how Aquaman’s do (that he talks to animals like how Aquaman can communicate with aquatic life).

With that out of the way, lemme talk about what I DO like. For starters, I like that the members that DID stick around did so and are therefore still relevant. Not one of them have their own books currently, and I don’t think that’s exactly in the cards for any of them at this time. I also love that these are basically B, C, and quite possibly even D-list heroes, and yet they’re having to take on a mission that could have serious repercussions if left unchecked, AND having to be the ones taking charge of the situation. It’s a huge undertaking for them, and it’s one that’s not always going to have an easy solution, but we see them trying their best to do what they can. And dammit, we needed a book about heroes that aren’t at the top of the food chain that can save the world too.

Secondly, I like that the events of Convergence are having consequences. As far as I can tell, at this time, none of the other books are addressing Convergence and what went down there. You just can’t do something like Convergence, which honestly forces me to try and learn what the plural of the word Multiverse is, without having some long-lasting fall-out. Here, we see that, when you take worlds that existed in a seemingly infinitely stretching Multiverse, all kept divided on different vibrational frequencies, some of which didn’t even physically exist anymore, and then pluck parts of them off and put them on the same planet, it kinda sorta BREAKS SPACE. Granted, I wish the fall-out from Convergence included seeing some of these alternate worlds, but dammit, at this point, I’ll take what I can get.

Lastly, I like the idea that this is a team book where, at any given time, seemingly ANYONE could show up for a mission. Heroes, villains, neutrals, doesn’t matter. You wanna see Poison Ivy save the world with Swamp Thing? We’re seeing it here and now. You wanna see Hawk and Dove chilling with Fire and Ice? Based on the preview we got during Convergence, could very well see just that. Anyone could appear for a team-up, and as you know, I’m a huge sucker for stories that have tons of heroes working together.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the book. Will I continue to pick it up after Poison Ivy leaves? Maybe, if it can make up for the stuff I disliked and continue to do what I DO like. Lemme know what you all think of this book, and hey, if you’re a Poison Ivy fan, be sure to let DC know you wanna see more of her…which, FYI? Apparently we’re getting a mini-series for Poison Ivy next year written by Amy Chu, which I’m gonna NEED to check out when it comes out. Ja né!

What I Bought This Past Week – The DC Books (Batman #25, Batman/Superman #5, Batman and Robin #25, Harley Quinn #0) (WARNING – SPOILERS)

So, I’ve been to Heroes’ Beacon the past couple of Wednesdays, so I guess it’s time to talk about…

What I Bought This Past Week

 

…And since I bought a LOT the past couple of weeks, I thought I’d split it up between DC and Marvel/Dynamite. So, let’s start the DC books with Batman #25.

Y’know what I realised this is? This is the comic book equivalent of the Ultima VII cover! XD

Well first off, the Zero Year Batmobile is a frakking hot rod. AWESOME! 😀 Second, before we get to Riddler, apparently we got a Doctor Death/Poison Ivy arc, which is pretty cool. I like the fact that Zero Year has three phases, the first being the Red Hood Gang, second being Death and Ivy, third being Riddler. Also, apparently there’s something the military digs up in Nigeria that’s supposed to be important to all of this. Got a little bit of a problem with Bruce Wayne and Jim Gordon being antagonistic towards each other because of something that happened over the murder of Bruce’s parents. Just feels unnecessary. Also, Lucius Fox does a heel turn at the end, I’m going to assume he’s being brainwashed or it isn’t really him, considering how trusted an ally he is to Batman later on. And finally, nice little back-up involving Harper Row and her brother, talking about everyone that’s helping in the blackout (Batman, Superman, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, John Stewart, Barry Allen, and the rest). Overall, a great issue, albeit one that kinda feels a bit disconnected from all these tie-ins, considering we only hear about the storm coming in the main story, while the tie-ins and the Harper back-up are about the different characters surviving it.

Oh, Snapple…Sorry, guys. Hang on a sec…

…There we go. Yeah, as you can tell, Batman/Superman #5 was a little weird to read, because it was utilizing a different style where you have to turn the comic on its side for the entire book. In other words, Linkara‘s nightmare taken form. XD There was a moment where Superman is able to tell that, and I quote, “In Metropolis, New York City, all up and down the eastern seaboard, the average human heart rate just increased by about three percent”. And I was like “…He can hear that???” and then I had to slap myself and go “Of course he can, you idiot, he’s Superman”. I was a tiny bit offended (not a lot, just a little) by the gamers playing Toymaster’s game not being able to tell that something wasn’t normal, and how when it’s revealed to them that they’ve been actually interacting with the real world, they think it’s just some meta story-within-a-story. C’mon, I know Jimmy Olsen is one of the players, but even HE isn’t THAT stupid. But I will give it a pass for the freaking horrifying reveal at the end: Mongul hacked the game so he can turn online gamers into his own personal army, since they spend billions of hours playing first person shooters and war simulators. THAT is actually kinda scary, and the fact that Mongul is doing it makes it all the more horrifying.

Okay, I’m just gonna say real quick that Batman on this cover makes me think of Batman: The Animated Series, so this book gets points just for that.

Batman and Robin #25…Okay, before I get to the review, I gotta address something. Remember how it was becoming ever-so-clear that Carrie Kelley would become Robin? Well, guess what? No sign of her for a few issues now. The apparent connection that was suggested in the solicit for this issue to what’s going on with Two-Face and Erin McKillen? Not here. And now there seems to be a lot of hints and suggestions that Damian might actually be coming back. So…what the crap is going on? Was Carrie Kelley just dropped in favour of bringing Damian back? Is this maybe just misdirection to just throw us off? And when is this book gonna go back to being titled Batman and Robin instead of Batman and Whoever-The-Frig-Else-Is-In-This-Book?

But yeah, getting back to Batman and Two-Face, it’s fine. The new revised origins for Two-Face are given a bit more development, and I do like the symbolism involved, that Harvey took away Erin’s better half, so she did the same to him. I also really like the return of Matches Malone. There is one panel in the book I have to just shake my head and laugh at, though. Not for being bad, because it isn’t, but because…well, you’ll see.

American Batman! Stay away from me!
American Batman! Mama let me be!

Wow. Subtle, guys. Really. lol

Harley Quinn #0…Y’know what, I don’t know if I’ll be picking up the series to follow it or not, but I will say this: This one issue is worth every penny you pay for it. In fact, for what I paid for it, I almost feel like I was ripping THEM off. This is the funniest comic I have ever read. And before you ask, no, I haven’t read Deadpool. Considered it a couple of times, may end up doing it in the future, but not as of this moment in time. If you don’t know, and I don’t know why you wouldn’t if you’re into comics, this issue is all about Harley Quinn wanting her own comic, and she’s breaking the fourth wall and talking to Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti as they write the book, talking about the different artists and basically judging which ones she likes best. They even make jabs at themselves and the different artists, so you know they were fully embracing the silliness and not taking themselves too seriously. Favourite moment was probably seeing Harley in her classic costume and drawn by Bruce Timm. The point where I had to put the book down for a second because I was laughing too hard was when they made the remark about Jim Lee’s quarterly royalty payments. XD Seriously, if you like Harley Quinn, or you just like comics that are funny and random as all hell, PICK THIS BOOK UP. I cannot recommend it any further, you guys.

Anyway, that’s it for the DC books I bought lately. Check back in later to learn all about the Marvel and Dynamite books I got in the past couple of Wednesdays. Ja né!

How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch? – LGBTQ Heroes In My Fanfics (FEEDBACK REQUESTED. IF OFFENDED, PLEASE DO NOT READ)

So, this time I’m dropping all pretence and basically being honest here: As you know, I’ve done a number of DC fanfics under the same alternate universe setting…which I still haven’t named. Speaking of which…

…Anyway, I’ve been planning on having as diverse a cast as I can for my fanfics. This is actually easier than you might think, because, while they don’t all get as much attention as they should, DC superheroes/superheroines do come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, colours, ethnicities, and characteristics. They have African-Americans, Brazilians, Asians, Russians…I think only a couple of Canadians, but hey, we got Captain Canuck and frakking Wolverine elsewhere, so not a big deal. They have handicapped people, like Vengeance Moth and Proxy (who I hope comes back with Steph next year). They have bisexuals, they have homosexuals. Heck, one of them is in one of my fanfics, that being Batwoman in Birds of Prey: Dark. But there are some types of superheroes they don’t have, at least not to my knowledge: Transsexuals, hermaphrodites, transvestites, or having had surgery (or I suppose magic, since hey, it’s comic books) to change their sex. Now, there IS a transgendered character, that being Alysia Yeoh (Batgirl‘s room-mate), which IS awesome, but unless she’s gonna get in a costume and fight crime (which I would not be against, Gail Simone, just in case yer wondering), there are no transgendered heroes or heroines in DC Comics.

So that’s when I started thinking: My fanfics exist in an alternate reality of my own creation. Meaning, I could either make a whole new character that is one or more of the above, OR I could change a pre-existing character to be LGBTQICTA-whatever-the-hell-else-there-is-that-I-would-count-but-there’s-too-damned-many-of-them. The only question is, if I went with the latter, who? Well, I DO have a few options that I thought of. Dick Grayson would be an awesome possibility. And NO, I don’t mean making Batman and Robin the Ambiguously Gay Duo, I JUST mean Robin. Raven would also be a good choice, and would actually explain a bit since she’s one of the seven children of Trigon that represent the Seven Deadly Sins called the SONS of Trigon.

What do you guys think? Lemme know in the comments below whether you think I should do this or not, whether I should do so with a pre-existing character, and if yes to both, who you think that should be. Ja né!

New Upcoming Fanfiction – Birds of Prey: Dark (WARNING – SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION AHEAD)

So, I’ve once again decided to do a fanfiction based on an idea I posted in How Would I Rebuild The DC Universe From Scratch. This one, however, will be a bit longer with no real planned ending, much like a comic book series. So, with that in mind, my next fanfiction will be…

Birds of Prey: Dark

Yep, instead of a story about one of DC’s leading ladies, I’ve decided to do a story that involves just about ALL of them. While it’ll focus primarily on a team of four of them, you’ll see a LOT of them cameo and rotate in and out as the plot requires them. Speaking of which, the plot will centre around a mixture of Birds of Prey, Justice League Dark, and Raven from Teen Titans. I decided to set the story in Platinum Flats instead of Gotham City, even though three of the four main characters are most commonly seen in Gotham, since it was home to the Birds for a time before the New 52, and I wanted them kept separate from Batman’s operations so they can tell their own story. For now, though, let’s take a look at the four main members of the Birds of Prey: Dark…

Dinah Laurel Lance, AKA Black Canary

Daughter of the original Black Canary, Dinah Lance is an asskicker the likes of which even Batman wouldn’t want to square off against. With her impressive martial arts skills and steel shattering Canary Cry, she protects Platinum Flats from criminals, only to find one day during a routine chase with some criminals that she may have found herself in a situation where she needs a little help. Oh, and before you ask, NO, I am not planning to involve Green Arrow, at least not in person.

Helena Bertinelli, AKA The Huntress

An expert marksman trying to suppress the desire for vengeance against the Mafia, the Huntress has often been seen as a close friend/occasional rival to Black Canary. As such, when Dinah runs into more trouble than she can handle alone, Helena is more than happy to jump in and help with a friendly jab or two ready. Also, while I said before that I’d make her a mixture of the two Huntresses, her and Helena Wayne, I’ve kinda heard the argument against that, and I get that it’s not a good idea. If I’m gonna be writing Helena Bertinelli, she has to be Helena Bertinelli.

Katherine Kane, AKA Batwoman

A former army brat and heiress to one of the wealthiest families in Gotham City, Batwoman was inspired by Batman to become a super-heroine. I decided to have DC’s première lesbian super-heroine move from Gotham to set up shop on the west coast, which ultimately leads to her running into Black Canary and Co. and funding the team. Otherwise, she’s also investigating the ties between various mob bosses and criminals, uncovering conspiracies, and seeking the members of the Secret Society. So, she’s kinda pulling double duty, doing The Question’s job, minus the insane amounts of paranoia. lol

Rachel Roth, AKA Raven

The daughter of a demon from another dimension, Raven escaped to Earth to get away from her dark, oppressive father, Trigon the Terrible. As a result, Trigon sent her brothers to bring her back and kill anyone that get in their way, intentional or otherwise, thus setting the stage for the first arc of the story. Personality wise, she’d act like she does in the comics, but also with some traces of her dry sarcasm from the Teen Titans animated series, just for fun.

Trigon the Terrible

As I said, the team will be a mixture of Birds of Prey and Justice League Dark, hence the name of the fic, ‘Birds of Prey: Dark’. Basically, they’re a group of superheroines battling mobsters, secret organizations, and the more dangerous paranormal/supernatural foes in the DC Universe. Recurring villains will include Trigon and his sons, as Raven will be a full-time member, but expect plenty other well-known demonic, mystical, or extra-terrestrial bad guys to appear.

As for other heroines involved, like I said, expect plenty to make appearances. Obviously, since it’s the Birds of Prey, I gotta have Barbara Gordon show up at some point, and I guess Lady Blackhawk would have to be a must at some point too. Hawk and Dove would probably be neat, and I KNOW Zatanna and Madame Xanadu would be awesome to get involved. So yeah, plenty to work with. As for the male heroes of the DC Universe, while I intend to keep the team’s path separate from Batman, hence the move to the west coast, expect him to cameo or at least be referenced to. And again, I don’t plan to have Green Arrow show up, but I suppose Black Canary talking about him from time to time is alright.

What do you guys think? Are you cool with this plot? Who would you like to see show up? Vote below, or leave a comment saying who you would like to see show up, and with any luck, Birds of Prey: Dark will be coming sooner than later. Ja né!

 

What I Bought Today – The Fearless Defenders #9, Batman: The Dark Knight #23.1, Red Sonja #3 (WARNING – SPOILERS)

Yep, it’s Wednesday once again, which means it’s time to check out…

What I Bought Today

Thankfully, this week turned out to not be as expensive as I thought it would be, and I probably won’t be getting any more comics for this month. Reason being, I’ve made the decision not to buy any more of Villains Month (aside from what I got today since it was minus the 3D cover and had been set aside for me anyway), and I don’t really have any interest in Battle for the Atom (seriously, what is it with comic book crossovers involving books that aren’t even a year old yet lately?). So, with that in mind, let’s start with Cullen Bunn before we move on to the one-two punch from Gail Simone, here’s Fearless Defenders #9.

This issue was just straight up funny in all kinds of ways. First off, just the cover. HILARIOUS. Second, the Defenders having their friendly banter between themselves and the criminals they’re fighting (The Enchantress, Chondu, Arthur Nagan, Ruby Thursday, and Quicksand). Third, their (sorta) boyfriends getting together to plan an intervention for the women at the Luck O’ The Irish Pub, saying it’s because they lack guidance as a team, only to have Molly Fitzgerald dress them down and cut to the meat of the matter: They’re jealous they aren’t on the team, and don’t believe an all-girls team will work. Fourth, we get a little insight on how Valkyrie and Annabelle are handling their little “time-share” situation, especially as it pertains to their individual love lives. And, of course, when the two groups meet up to beat down the baddies and the men get told to piss off and let them do their jobs. Also, that Clea wants a divorce because Doctor Strange is kind of a twat. Anyway, good stuff, and with the kick-ass action to accompany it, just tons of fun.

Batman: The Dark Knight, AKA Ventriloquist, AKA Why The Hell Isn’t This Batgirl, Especially When She Actually Gets Mentioned In This Book And Batman Isn’t? This book’s already been out for a week, so there’s not much to say on it that hasn’t already been said. Thus, I will keep it simple: Ventriloquist’s origins are kinda cliché (another jealous sibling story?), but at least she remains thoroughly messed up to the point that some ambiguity is still present for her. Overall, it’s good, but I’m hoping this isn’t the last we see of her, ‘cuz if it is, then she’s not really going out on so much of a high note.

Red Sonja, holy shit, this book continues to be awesome. And I love that every time I think I know where this book is going, it slaps me in the face and goes “No you don’t.” We get a little look at Red Sonja’s origins, which I honestly don’t know if they’re revised or not, since the only thing I saw of Red Sonja before Gail’s book was the sorta shitty movie (thought I will admit it’s not as notoriously bad as Arnold claims it to be). Either way, we learn a bit about how Sonja got to be the person she is, the tragedy of her life, and in the end, we’re teased with the possibility of her being dead, just before her ‘bodyguards’ return with news of a cure for the plague she’s been infected with. Overall, great stuff, can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Anyway, that’s it for this week. As I said, probably won’t be buying any comics for the rest of the month, but there MIGHT be a game I’ll be buying this month, we’ll see. Ja né!

Should DC Sell Superhero Adult Novels? (Yes, this is an actual question asking for feedback, JUST HEAR ME OUT lol)

So I’ve made a number of jokes as of late, saying that if DC really wants to tell stories about their heroes hooking up and having sex, they should just drop the pretenses and release adult novels for their heroes. Now, while I was mostly kidding when I said things like that, I started thinking recently…SHOULD they? WOULD that sell well? WOULD it be beneficial to them, and to readers?

Ah, for the good old days when the Bat and the Cat was the most romantic thing EVER.

Now, before anyone calls me a pig for this, hear me out: As we all know, DC is obsessed with the idea of telling a romance story involving Superman and Wonder Woman. Some people like it, and some people (myself included) hate it. So I had a thought: What if instead of constantly bringing that up in the comics, why not just tell that story in an adult novel? Or hey, people got kinda bothered by the stories of Batman and Catwoman having rooftop “meetings” in the early days of the New 52 Catwoman books. Well, if comic book readers dislike that, why present it for them? Why not sell it to an audience that might enjoy that sort of thing? Or heck, Grant Morrison can’t talk about the upcoming Earth 1 Wonder Woman story without mentioning her sex life or making references to sex. If he’s that fixated on it, why is he writing a comic for her? Why not an adult novel?

Be honest, you know some people would read a book about these two.

Basically, my point in a nutshell is that they would be keeping that sort of storytelling that delves into sex and romantic scenarios that not everyone is going to get into in comics in a completely separate genre for people who WOULD enjoy it. Like I said before, despite HEAVY bitching about the Wonder Woman/Superman pairing, there are fans who enjoy reading it. While a lot of fans see overuse of sex in comics as annoying, some probably like it. And hey, it’d be a completely different form of media, so they could do whatever they wanted with whoever they wanted. Some could be in canon with the current comics, and some could be VERY non-canon. Fans wanna see Clark Kent and Lois Lane together again? Easily done! People wanna know more about the relationship between Alan Scott and Sam? Not a problem! Heck, Gail Simone could finally write a story about the Oracle/Black Canary pairing she wanted to do for Birds of Prey.

…C’mon, Gail, you know you wanna. lol

Anyway, vote and/or comment below whether or not you think this would be a good move for DC, and let’s hope someone who works for them is listening. Ja né!

Tales of Dumbassery – Comic Book Writers Say The Darnedest Things (WARNING – THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE WILL PISS YOU OFF)

……..Just show the title card. -_-

Tales of Dumbassery

If it seems like I’m not in a very joking mood this time around, it’s only because I’m pissed off/confused. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a feminist. Not out of any disliking of feminism, it’s just that I wouldn’t have the slightest idea where to start. However, as a comic fan, I’m a bit more in the know about the simple fact that, gasp, WOMEN READ COMICS. Be they newspaper comic strips, manga, and yes, superhero comics, there are in fact women that read them. So why is it that THIS shit keeps happening?!

Mark Millar and Todd McFarlane: Ladies, Comics Aren’t For You”

This paragraph is from the Tumblr page DC Women Kicking Ass: “Over at Think Progress, Alyssa Rosenberg reports on a panel held for the upcoming documentary Superheroes: The Never-Ending Battle. The panel, consisted of Todd McFarlane, Gerry Conway, Len Wein and Michael Kantor. And apparently the never ending battle is trying to handwave why comics is pretty much all white and all male. ‘There hasn’t really been historically a comic book that has worked that is trying to get across a kind of message, if you will,’ McFarlane insisted. ‘So the female characters that work are the ones that are just strong women that actually it’s good storytelling, and the odd character that is a minority that works is the one that is just a good strong character. They’ve tried to do minority characters and bring that label and that surrounding [debate] into it. You’re aware that you’re reading a minority comic book. I think it’s wrong’.” Well thank you, Todd. Thank you so much for clearing that up. Got any more gems of wisdom for us? Perhaps a book detailing your asinine viewpoint?

Oh, it gets better, folks. Here’s what Mark Millar, writer/creator of Kick-Ass, and writer of works such as Civil War, Sonic The Comic, The Authority, and MUCH more, had to say in his interview with The New Republic: “The ultimate [act] that would be the taboo, to show how bad some villain is, was to have somebody being raped, you know?” he told me. “I don’t really think it matters. It’s the same as, like, a decapitation. It’s just a horrible act to show that somebody’s a bad guy.”…Umm, no. No it’s not the same. At all. In one case, the person is dead, or in the case of certain works of fiction, they regenerate. In the other, the person gets to live with the pain and terror of the act, can have up to many years of horrific nightmares, and in the case of women (yeah, I know, what a shocker, MEN can be raped too), they can find themselves pregnant with the rapist’s child. Also, depending on where they live, rape victims have to pay a bitch of a medical bill afterward, but that’s a VERY angry rant for another day.

So since these two are very clearly implying that comic books aren’t meant for women, does that mean that, by your logic, my girlfriend should stop reading them? Or my former teacher, perhaps? Heck, by this logic, Gail Simone shouldn’t even be writing comics. Also, does this viewpoint extend beyond western superhero comics? Should N. Harmonik stop reading Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog comics? Should my friend Nikki stop reading manga? Should cosplayers stop dressing as women from comics? Please, by all means, keep me up to date with how far this belief of yours goes, ‘cuz I’m just fascinated by all of this.

I’m baffled that two people who are supposed to be big names in the comic book industry apparently know nothing about the fan-base of said industry. This actually feels dumber to me than Dan Didio saying that DC does not write books for kids (Really, Danny? Then what the hell do you call Li’l Gotham?), but that could simply be because I’m kinda used to the insane opinions of Dan Didio. It just bothers me so much that this insanity continues to this day.

Anyway, comment below what you think about all this, and be sure to click on the other articles below. Ja né!

My Thoughts on Superman Annual #2 Opening Page

So, I noticed there was some buzzing about on Twitter today regarding the preview pages for Superman Annual #2. So I checked up on it, and I found that the opening page of a book that I believe is meant to spotlight Lois Lane‘s 75 years in comic book history was THIS.

…Nope, I’m not gonna say anything. I’m not gonna rant, scream, or tell anybody off, because having checked Twitter, I think it’s safe to say that anything worth saying has been said already…But I AM gonna show this one picture, just because it’s both hilarious and fits this situation SO much.

Wow, I’m glad I saved that. I’ve gotten so much mileage out of that one screenshot…Now, I obviously expect this to end with some kinda twist where she turns out to be alive and was either having an out-of-body experience, or this is taking place in an alternate Earth, or something along those lines. Regardless, I would just like to remind that THIS is how this book opens: With Lois Lane sprawled out dead on the pavement in what people are already referring to as a torture porn pose. I don’t know if I actually see the torture porn aspect of it, mind you. I think they actually nailed that worse when Black Mask was torturing Stephanie Brown (seriously, you’d think they’d learn by now). It’s still horrible, though.

Superman + Lois Lane = The Original OTP

So, to every single Lois Lane fan in the world, I offer the following suggestion: Give yourself a HUGE hug, and DO NOT BUY Superman Annual #2. Ja né.

Jyger’s Rant – Justice League: Hereafter

…I cannot believe how long it has taken me to getting around to doing this, especially since this is a requested review from one of my closest friends, but here we go: As pretty much everyone who reads my blog knows, I love me some superheroes. Be it comic books, movies, tv shows, I love a good story that involves superheroes, and one of my favourites is the Justice League animated series. They just seemed to tell the stories of these heroes and their supporting casts a lot better than most any other series involving multiple heroes in a team. And it was a very diverse team, with Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash (Wally West, THANK GOD), Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, and Green Lantern (John Stewart). There are tons of great episodes to pick a favourite from, but in the case of PinkRangerWannabe, hers is the two-parter known as Hereafter.

So, as is my custom nowadays, let’s go through the actual plot first before making additional notes and whatnot. Part 1 opens with the forming of the Superman Revenge Squad, which consists of Metallo, Weather Wizard, Livewire, Toyman, and Kalibak. They decide to stage an attack on Metropolis to draw out Superman, but they bite off more than they can chew when the entire Justice League shows up. They do manage to hold their own well against the JLU, though, but are ultimately taken down one by one until only Toyman remains, piloting a giant robot with a cannon that seems to be utterly disintegrating anything it hits. Of course, it’s not like he could actually hit Superman with that…until he aims it at Wonder Woman and Batman, who are unable to get out of the way. With no other choice, Superman flies in its path, taking the hit and vanishing. Well, Diana kinda goes apeshit on Toyman, bringing down his robot and almost killing him before Flash can stop her, reasoning that Superman wouldn’t want revenge, to which she tearfully agrees to.

As can be expected, the world is left in a state of shock and grief: Superman, their greatest and most noble hero, is dead. Even Lex Luthor claims that he’ll miss him. The only one who refuses to take part in the funeral is Batman, who is in a state of denial since matter simply can’t disappear without a trace, though he does watch from the shadows, unseen by all except Wonder Woman. Later, at Superman’s wake in the Watchtower, the rest of the League (minus Batman) trade happy stories about the Man of Tomorrow, before they eventually realise that they should probably consider increasing their numbers with Superman’s death. Of all people who could possibly show up to interrupt, Lobo arrives on the Watchtower to cause havoc, crashing through the windows like Macho Man demanding kids snap into a Slim Jim…which is technically alright, since he only told Superman he’d leave Earth alone, and they’re well above orbit. lol Anyway, he insists that the League needs the Main Man, but they refuse, and a fight breaks out. The JLU eventually corner him, but they have bigger problems when they learn that Batman is in trouble.

Down on Earth, it seems that the Superman Revenge Squad have broken out of prison with a number of the JLU’s rogues gallery, going on a massive attack in celebration of their biggest adversary’s death. When Batman is clearly not enough to deal with them all, the League are forced to bring Lobo down with them (because they don’t trust him alone on the Watchtower) to deal with the situation. To his credit, Lobo does manage to stop Kalibak in a pretty badass fashion, albeit while doing far more property damage than necessary. Lobo insists that the League is far better off with him than they were with Superman, but unbeknownst to them, in a distant place lit by a red sun, Superman lives! (Yes, I went there. 😛 )

Part 2 opens with Superman getting to his feet and trying to contact the Justice League, but he can’t get through to them. What’s worse is that the red sun has robbed him of his powers, and while he can seem to pick up a JLU beacon, it’s clearly far off. Luckily, plenty of food and supplies got caught in Toyman’s blasts, as well as…

So Superman drives the car as far as he can, trying his best to avoid a group of wolf-like creatures along the way, but eventually he runs out of the gas he siphoned from the other cars and is attacked again. However, after the last attack, he went blacksmith and made a sword for himself. So he kills the pack leader, uses his fur to make new clothes for himself, and the rest of the wolves are made into sled-dogs for a sled he fashions out of the hood of the car…What?! They attacked him first! Besides, as he goes along, he makes sure to keep them well fed, and when he gets to where he’s going, they actually seem kinda sad to leave him.

Anyway, Superman arrives at his destination, but finds that what he’s been tracking isn’t just a beacon: It’s the Watchtower, crashed in the middle of a jungle filled with giant cockroaches. What’s more, he finds there’s no record of what happened to the rest of the League, only to be told they died thousands of years ago by the only human on the planet: the immortal Vandal Savage. Yep, it’s a post apocalyptic future!…And Superman has a beard…and yet, he’s not Bearded Idiot…WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR COMIC BOOKS TO GET RIGHT?!

Anyway, Vandal Savage very calmly lets Superman know exactly what happened: He killed the entire Justice League with a gravity machine and then accidentally disrupted the gravitational balance of the solar system, thus killing every human being on Earth. Superman now is in a post-apocalyptic world 30,000 years in the future, the red sun is keeping him weak, and the only company he has on the world are the creatures that have evolved on it and Vandal Savage, humanity’s murderer. However, it seems that doing so came as a VERY heavy blow to Savage, who now understands how meaningless his pursuit of power was, although he admits he should’ve learned it FAR longer ago. His guilt over destroying humanity is eating him alive, too. He HAD built a ship to find and colonize other worlds, but decided he deserved to be punished and left alone. He constantly gathers what self-help books he can find in the ruins of cities to deal with his issues. He even built a time machine to go back and stop himself, but he can’t use it since he can’t travel to any point he already exists in…although, Superman ISN’T there, meaning they have a chance to undo all this.

Unfortunately, the only power source in the world that can open a stable time hole isn’t currently in Savage’s ownership: It’s an energy generator that, for all intents and purposes, is basically a miniature sun. Unfortunately, the roaches stole it and built a colony around it. He can build another one, but it’ll take fifty years, and without his enhanced physiology granted by a yellow sun, there’s no guarantee Superman will be in any position to stop him in the past at that age, so they have to try to get the generator back. They make it to the central chamber of the colony, but Superman falls into the pit where the generator is held. However, since the generator gives off energy exactly like a yellow sun, his powers are restored just enough to fly out and take down the roaches. Savage gets everything ready, and tells Superman that, to complete his gravity machine, he’s going to steal a piece of dwarf-star matter from a scientist named Ray Palmer, who we know as The Atom. The JLU HAS to stop him, by any means necessary. Superman understands and leaves through the time hole, Savage ensuring him that, if he’s lucky, this will mean redemption for him.

It turns out Superman actually arrives back in the past just at the right time, as Deadshot fires a rocket at Batman right after the battle at the end of Part 1. Superman manages to save the Dark Knight, who in turn takes down Deadshot. Everyone is happy to see Superman alive, and Superman promptly fires Lobo and tells to go frak himself. He then tells the rest of the League they have work to do and fly off, the story coming to a close back in the future as Vandal Savage sees humanity starting to fade back into existence as he fades away…though I’m pretty sure he’s not dead, since he’s kinda/sorta immortal, so that DOES leave me kinda curious how the Justice League stopped him.

So, my final thoughts? This two-parter is definitely a must-watch for anyone who loves these characters…BUT, I do need to critique it in places. There’s a couple of animation inconsistencies, like where an ATM reads MTA instead, which are admittedly small and don’t really detract at all. The only problem I have with Part 1, and if you’ve been to the DCAU Wiki then you probably already know this, the episode raises more than a couple of questions regarding knowledge of Superman’s secret identity. His parents are near the front row, and nobody questions why? Clark Kent is missing from the biggest story IN THE WORLD, and no one notices? If Lois Lane still could not piece together that Clark Kent was Superman by this point, there’s something SERIOUSLY wrong there. As for Part 2, the pacing at certain points feels kinda off. It just feels like there wasn’t enough time devoted to Superman and Vandal Savage going on the operation to find the generator. Also, how DID the Justice League stop Vandal Savage? I mean, we could assume he was locked away, but we never get an answer. Hell, Vandal Savage never shows up again in the entire DCAU.

But, with all that in mind, this is still a good story. And considering that the second episode was a post-apocalyptic Superman story, it could’ve been a lot worse.

………A LOT worse. I’m Jyger85, and this has been Jyger’s Rant. Ja né!

Newly Announced Superman/Wonder Woman Book, And Why It’ll Probably Suck (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AHEAD)

So, some new news from DC Comics, as apparently in addition to the Batman/Superman crossover book, there’s also going to be a Superman/Wonder Woman book coming out in October. And to those wondering why the title of this article is somewhat pessimistic, I would like to explain very simply why I think this book is gonna suck. And just to warn everyone, this is probably going to be a Joe Vargas-style rant by the time I get to the part that pisses me off most.

Now, I should list a few things I find noteworthy arguments to it sucking right off the bat. First off, I don’t mind that one name comes before the other, because when I see a crossover book, I don’t think that the one in front is trumping the other, I think of the two names together as a team. That’s just how I see it. Now, is it possible that’s not how it actually works? Of course. I’m just saying it doesn’t bother me personally. Also, I should point out that the writer is Charles Soule, who is currently writing what I’m told is a pretty good Swamp Thing. The other thing I should note is that this book has the potential to be awesome if it focused primarily on the two just being awesometastic superheroes. Plus, think of the potential villainous team-ups they could take on, like Lex Luthor and Veronica Cale, or Metallo and Cheetah. Y’know what? I’d buy that!

Now lemme tell you why it’s going to suck, and suck HARD: Because it’s NOT going to be centred around them as a superhero duo, it’s going to be centred around them being a couple. To this, I have to ask the obvious question: WHY? Why would you do this when you know everybody HATES what you’ve done with these two as a couple? Hell, didn’t you recently hint that the relationship was going to end soon, and end rather badly at that? So why in the hell are you having a book written where their relationship is the focus? GAAAHHHHHHH!!!

What’s particularly odd about this is that Man of Steel has just come out (no, I haven’t seen it yet, but when I have, expect a vlog), where one of the main characters is Lois Lane, and the two are in a relationship. So why in the hell is she constantly getting buried in the comics??? They split up the marriage, FINE. They spent a really long time as a couple without being married, I could see them reverting back to that. But WHY Wonder Woman?! I’ve mentioned before that the relationship angle COULD work with the right writing, and I mean it, but every time I’ve ever seen somebody from DC write it, it SUCKED. The best story I’ve ever seen that in any way, shape, or form dealt with a possible Superman/Wonder Woman pairing was JL8, and that’s not even a DC owned comic!

…ANYWAY, like I said before, if this was a book focusing on the two as heroes saving the day, that’d be great. But it’s NOT. This is a poorly masked attempt at a superhero romance book. And the sad truth of that is, even by that definition, it’ll probably fail HARD. Nope, all you’ve really done, DC, is push the fans that hated this idea in the first place past the point of no return. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go learn the Red Lantern oath, because I’m the type who hates to see things go to waste, and right now I feel that if my rage could be turned into a fuel source, I could power the whole planet for the next few decades. Ja né, and fuck whoever thought this was a good idea!