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Pokémon FireRed Text-And-Screencap-Only Nuzlocke Part 1

Decided to just stick with my real name for this.

Decided to just stick with my real name for this.

…Well, it’s good to know that this Let’s Play is apparently cursed and is going to fight me at every frigging turn. lol Let me explain: As I said before, attempts to record footage of the game ended in the audio becoming desynced. Hence, I’ve had to resort to doing this LP in this format, with only text and the occasional screencaps. But then, on top of that, about a half hour into doing this playthrough, I realized that I was using a hacked version of FireRed that I was fooling around with a few years ago, and thus had to start all over again. Between that and some stuff I’ll talk about as I continue, it’s clear that my first ever Nuzlocke Challenge is going to be…interesting, let’s just say. But, let’s get started with how things went in THIS playthrough.

Seemed appropriate. Sorry, Tim. :P

Seemed appropriate. Sorry, Tim. 😛

So, what was the first major sign that this LP was gonna try and screw with me at every turn? Well, before I realized the version I was using beforehand was hacked, I got to start off my adventure with my favourite of the Kanto Starter Pokémon, Bulbasaur. Upon having to restart, however, I took one look at my Trainer ID Number…

...For the record, the last digit in the previous attempt was 1.

…For the record, the last digit in the previous attempt was 1.

And realized that meant starting with…

This is punishment for leaving you out of my six favourite Generation I Pokémon, isn't it? lol

This is punishment for leaving you out of my six favourite Generation I Pokémon, isn’t it? lol

Although, in all honesty, this probably worked out for the best. There are a LOT of Flying-types in early Kanto that could be a nightmare for Bulbasaur, especially Spearow. And in a world where critical hits could very well equal death, that’s not a chance I necessarily wanna take. Also, what’s hilarious is that, as stated before, I was excluding the initial Rival battle in terms of whether a loss there would be a game over because of how luck based it’d be. In the first playthrough, I lost. Here?

Thank you, Bold Nature, for giving my Squirtle a higher Physical Attack than Tim's Bulbasaur. ^_^

Thank you, Brave Nature, for giving my Squirtle a higher Physical Attack than Tim’s Bulbasaur. ^_^

That said, I was quick to learn that Mikey (yes, I named him after a Ninja Turtle, leave me alone, lol) is a freaking magnet for critical hits, especially from Pidgey. Now, he can tank those hits alright, but when they kept happening over and over, it became clear that this little bastard was trying to kill me via heart attack.

Honestly, it's no wonder that most games nowadays skip the whole fetch-quest BS and just have you get the Pokédex from the start. Although, it DOES further my theory that kids today don't earn shit in Pokémon and just have everything handed to them. lol

Honestly, it’s no wonder that most games nowadays skip the whole fetch-quest BS and just have you get the Pokédex from the start. Although, it DOES further my theory that kids today don’t earn shit in Pokémon and just have everything handed to them. lol

Anyway, after defeating Tim, I headed up to Viridian City, got Oak’s Parcel, and delivered it back to him, receiving the Pokédex and 5 Poké Balls in exchange, which meant it was time to start catching new party members. Unfortunately, Route 22 ended up being locked off from me because of one little bastard Mankey that refused to be caught, even though it was in the red and next to dead. I was even gonna name it Pork Laser (closest I could get to a Brock Lesnar reference). But nope, this Mankey decided that Pork Laser would not be a thing this LP, at which point I decided this little bastard had to die. But, I still managed to catch three other team members…

Because there is no Robin Pokémon in FireRed. lol

Because there is no Robin Pokémon in FireRed. lol

Please tell me I don't need to explain this reference.

Please tell me I don’t need to explain this reference.

Let's just say I have a tendency to waggle my fingers when I say this one's name. :P

Let’s just say I have a tendency to waggle my fingers when I say this one’s name. 😛

…and, with my kooky quartet, I managed to beat Tim on Route 22…albeit with Mikey AGAIN almost getting killed by Pidgey. At this point, I pretty much decided that I would never send him out to fight Pidgey ever again. Although, what was hilarious was when Mikey got hit by a second critical hit, and then came back with his own to beat Pidgey. But, I’m sure you’re all wondering how the team did against Brock. Well, after a quick training montage…

MAN, Metapod's Physical Attack SUCKS. lol

MAN, Metapod’s Physical Attack SUCKS. lol

Keep in mind, this was back when Water Gun was the superior choice to Bubble.

Keep in mind, this was back when Water Gun was the superior choice to Bubble.

With a Nature that benefits Special Attack. Ooh, I'm gonna have some fun with this...XD

With a Nature that benefits Special Attack. Ooh, I’m gonna have some fun with this…XD

Sure, NOW I run into

Sure, NOW I run into you…lol

And the head-popping begins. 3:D

And the head-popping begins. 😀

…I made my way to the Pewter City Gym. I was a little nervous going in, though, fully aware that, aside from having a Squirtle instead of a Charmeleon, I was using the same team that Team Four Star used against Brock in THEIR Nuzlocke, and that battle ended with the deaths of everyone but their Starter (although I always limit myself to using the same number of Pokémon as the Gym Leader, so that wasn’t going to happen). But with that said, Mikey WAS the difference maker. ^_^

Yeah, probably not shocking anyone, but Mikey beat both Geodude and Onix 2-1.

Yeah, probably not shocking anyone, but Mikey beat both Geodude and Onix 2-1.

So yeah, that was the battle with Brock. Earned my first badge, and considered the first chapter of my first Nuzlocke complete with NO DEATHS. So, basically, did a lot better than I expected. With that said, next up is Mt. Moon and the first encounter with Team Rocket. Hope you guys have enjoyed thus far, and I’ll see you back here for Part 2. Ja né!

Minnie's still low leveled so that I've got someone who won't outright kill anyone I try to catch next. lol

Minnie’s still low leveled so that I’ve got someone who won’t outright kill anyone I try to catch next. lol

Brock Gym Battle Test Recording

Just so you know, this is not the first part of my Let’s Play. I’m doing a quick playthrough of the game first, and I decided to record the first Gym Battle as a test.

…And yes, I’m playing as a girl in this playthrough. Bite me. lol

My Dream Pokémon Yellow Remake – The Gym Leaders

… … …Fuck it, Gym Leader time. lol Here’re the Gym Leaders in my dream remake of Pokémon Yellow.

Pewter City Gym Leader: Brock


  • Level: 12
  • Attacks: Rollout, Defense Curl, Smack Down
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Sturdy


  • Level: 14
  • Attacks: Bind, Rock Tomb, Smack Down
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Sturdy

Cerulean City Gym Leader: Misty


  • Level: 18
  • Attacks: Bubblebeam, Psywave, Swift, Scald
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Natural Cure


  • Level: 22
  • Attacks: Camouflage, Bubblebeam, Recover, Scald
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Natural Cure

Vermilion City Gym Leader: Lt. Surge


  • Level: 26
  • Attacks: Spark, Double Team, Feint, Volt Switch
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Static


  • Level: 21
  • Attacks: Rollout, Swift, Charge Beam, Volt Switch
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Soundproof


  • Level: 24
  • Attacks: Mirror Shot, Magnet Bomb, Thunder Wave, Volt Switch
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Sturdy

Celadon City Gym Leader: Erika


  • Level: 30
  • Attacks: Stun Spore, Mega Drain, Sunny Day, Growth
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Chlorophyll


  • Level: 32
  • Attacks: Sweet Scent, Sleep Powder, Sunny Day, Acid
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Chlorophyll


  • Level: 32
  • Attacks: Giga Drain, Moonlight, Sunny Day, Poison Powder
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Chlorophyll

Fuchsia City Gym Leader: Koga


  • Level: 40
  • Attacks: Explosion, Sludge Bomb, Double Hit, Toxic
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Levitate


  • Level: 43
  • Attacks: Signal Beam, Zen Headbutt, Gust, Toxic
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Shield Dust


  • Level: 46
  • Attacks: Venoshock, Acrobatics, Confuse Ray, Toxic
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Inner Focus

Saffron City Gym Leader: Sabrina


  • Level: 39
  • Attacks: Psychic, Calm Mind, Reflect, Disable
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Synchronize

Mr. Mime

  • Level: 43
  • Attacks: Dazzling Gleam, Calm Mind, Substitute, Reflect
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Filter


  • Level: 46
  • Attacks: Psychic, Morning Sun, Future Sight, Calm Mind
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Synchronize


  • Level: 50
  • Attacks: Psychic, Reflect, Recover, Calm Mind
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Synchronize

Cinnabar Island Gym Leader: Blaine


  • Level: 48
  • Attacks: Fire Blast, Nasty Plot, Safeguard, Confuse Ray
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Flash Fire


  • Level: 50
  • Attacks: Fire Spin, Bounce, Megahorn, Fire Blast
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Flash Fire


  • Level: 52
  • Attacks: Thunder Fang, Fire Blast, Roar, Extreme Speed
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Intimidate


  • Level: 54
  • Attacks: Sunny Day, Fire Blast, Confuse Ray, Solar Beam
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Flame Body

Viridian City Gym Leader: Giovanni


  • Level: 50
  • Attacks: Dig, Earthquake, Sucker Punch, Stealth Rock
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Arena Trap


  • Level: 53
  • Attacks: Play Rough, Earthquake, Slash, Fake Out
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Limber


  • Level: 53
  • Attacks: Earth Power, Earthquake, Thunder, Poison Jab
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Poison Point


  • Level: 53
  • Attacks: Megahorn, Thrash, Earthquake, Thunder
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Poison Point


  • Level: 55
  • Attacks: Earthquake, Hammer Arm, Thunder Fang, Fire Fang
  • Held Item: None
  • Ability: Lightning Rod


  • Level: 55
  • Attacks: Earthquake, Aerial Ace, Giga Impact, Outrage
  • Held Item: Kangaskhanite
  • Ability: Scrappy

So, those are the Gym Leaders in my dream remake of Pokémon Yellow. Lemme know what you think I should cover next, and I’ll see y’all next time. Ja né!

Updated Dream Remake For Pokémon Yellow

So, a couple of years ago, I posted an article about how I would personally remake Pokémon Yellow, detailing all the ways it could be done easily using Generation V mechanics… … …and then, the very next day, Pokémon X & Y were revealed. How this happened, I have no idea. My only guess is that Nintendo has a camera set up in my brain to keep a constant track of my thoughts. It would certainly explain how the trailer for Pokémon GO clearly resembled dreams I used to have of how Pokémon would look in real life. But yeah, because next year is the 20th Anniversary of Pokémon, I’ve decided to update how I’d remake Yellow Version, AKA the Special Pikachu Edition, in the current generation. As such, some of these are gonna be repeated from last time, so just bear with me…

#1 – Generation VI Mechanics

Basically, this includes the current type charts, movepools, battle styles and mechanics, and, of course, Mega Evolution. In other words, this version of Pokémon Yellow would take place in the same universe as XYORAS. And speaking of stuff you can do in this generation, especially as it pertains to the mascot of this game…

Include Cosplay Pikachu

#2 – Include Cosplay Pikachu

Because why not? Hell, you could even build on the concept by including more costumes it can wear with more moves it can learn, making it so it can be either gender, and having the costumes become available to you in different towns and cities. You could even bring back Surfing Pikachu and Balloon Pikachu by making them costumes. And hey, since we brought up the costumes…

#3 – Include Pokémon Contests

Again, why not? The anime already put Contest Halls in the Kanto Region, so why not include them in this game? After all, we already brought Contests back for ORAS. Might as well take advantage of that.

#4 – Use HGSS’ System For Pokémon Following You

As I stated before, Pikachu being outside the ball for the duration of the journey is a must. As such, what I’d do is tweak the system from HeartGold/SoulSilver so that the one that follows you is always Pikachu… … …unless you box it, of course. I’d also bring back the little pictures from Pokémon Yellow, and include a few more, like maybe it making its elastic faces from the show. Lastly, I’d make a special change to the bicycle in case Pikachu is in the party: A little basket in the front for it to ride in. XD

#5 – Update the Regional Dex

Again, the Pokémon found would obviously include all the original 151, that’s a given. However, rather than force you to gain the National Dex, I think I’d toss in the other Pokémon that evolve to and from the original batch. Speaking of evolving, though…

#6 – New Mega Evolutions

It just seems like the time to make a couple more Gen 1 Pokémon Mega Evolve. Specifically, I’d like to see Butterfree get one so it can keep up with Beedrill. I just find it odd that it didn’t get it in the first place.

#7 – Side-quests Galore, In Particular With Misty and Brock

Seriously, I would include tons of side-quests. Stuff you don’t HAVE to do, but are fun, rewarding, and add to the experience of the game. Stuff like the Contests Halls I mentioned earlier, or perhaps new ways to include Move Tutors, by having the new moves be rewards for helping people out. I also think that some would involve Brock and Misty, since they follow Ash in the original series. Maybe even a series of events where you can actually date Misty or Brock, depending on which gender you play as. And speaking of…

#8 – Remodel Female Protagonist To Look Like Ashley

… … …Because it’d be too damned funny, okay? XD With that said, if you don’t like that idea…

#9 – Bring Back The Clothing Options From X & Y

I don’t understand why this was left out of ORAS. It really makes me worry that it was an XY thing only, and I don’t want it to be. And, of course, since a lot of Yellow is based off the anime, I’m thinking there could be new clothing options based on clothes and costumes worn throughout it.

#10 – Cameos from the Characters Of the Day

I know that a few Trainers you run into have had their dialogue and teams altered in Yellow Version to better resemble the characters of the day from the original series, but making their appearances a bit closer and just including a lot more of them would be sweet. And speaking of trainers from the show…

#11 – Adjusted Teams For Gym Leaders And Other Important Characters

For those that have always wondered about this, allow me to explain: Pokémon Yellow was released before the original run of the series, AKA the Kanto League, was finished. As such, not everyone in the games that were also in the anime have the same teams. In particular, Blaine’s team in the game bears little to no resemblance to his anime team. Granted, I have no idea what Rhydon was doing on the team in the anime anyway, but no reason to leave out Magmar. Also, what is going on with Gary’s team in the game? And yes, I call him Gary in the Yellow Version, since he’s very clearly supposed to be Gary and not Blue. Just saying, a few modifications are probably necessary. Perhaps Gary’s Eevee could become Umbreon, and then he could also catch a Starter Pokémon based on the same pre-requisites as was necessary to determine what Eevee would evolve into (so if you lost/skipped both of the first battles with him, he’d get Squirtle, if you won one and then lost/skipped the other, he’d get Charmander, and if you beat him both times, he’d get Bulbasaur).

#12 – The Sevii Islands & The Orange Crew

Getting back to stuff you don’t have to do but make for neat additions, since the Sevii Islands were already in FRLG, I’d just go with them instead of the Orange Islands from the anime. Still, I would also include the Orange Crew as boss trainers you can battle. Though, I might wanna change Drake’s name since there’s already a Drake in the games. Maybe something like Arthur or Ryu, or his Japanese name, Yuji.

#13 – More Battles With Jessie and James

Seriously, these two appeared in damned near every episode of the original series. You know how many times you battled them in the game? Four. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. lol Also, Meowth could be fully fleshed out as a character, Team Rocket could be battled in Double Battles instead of Single, and a few more of their Pokémon that they caught could be added to their in-game roster.

#14 – Include The Pokémon World Tournament

Because this mode was FREAKING AWESOME. Being able to battle against other Gym Leaders and Champions from other games is a sweet idea. Plus, you could include other characters that have appeared in the anime since the original series, like Paul, Tyson, Tobias, Virgil, Harrison, and more. Also, just to be cute (and to troll people), I’d replace Red with Ritchie. XD

Remember me, assholes? >:)

And that’s all I have in mind for now. Leave your comments and any ideas of what you’d do with the game or any other Pokémon games you’d remake. Ja né!

Jyger’s Rant – Mystery at the Lighthouse Review

Well, welcome to the first of my text-only reviews! I’m basically gonna follow the same pattern as before, doing animation and tokusatsu, but since these aren’t videos, I guess I don’t need to worry about cut-off dates anymore. However, I do feel the need to get caught up on my Pokémon anime reviews, so let’s start off with Mystery at the Lighthouse.

Okay, really quick thing I need to get outta the way first, this episode is kind of a classic, what with this being the thirteenth episode and all. And God forbid I should be allowed to talk crap about one of the classic episodes, right? WRONG. If an episode of a show has legitimate problems with it, I’m gonna bring it up. I don’t care if it’s a classic or not. You can still like it, that’s not the problem at all. I’m just saying there are some things that require a closer look at. So for today, what I’m gonna do is give a quick run-through of the plot first, then present my points about what I didn’t like about it afterwards. Feel free to agree or disagree, it’s just my opinion, and all I ask is that you honestly think about it.

So the episode starts with Ash, Misty, and Brock traversing a Route on their way to Vermillion City, and we get a brief recap of how Ash now has two badges and a full team of six Pokémon: Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Butterfree, Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. And let’s be honest folks, when you got Pokémon Yellow, you tried playing it with that exact same team, right? Misty argues that Ash didn’t earn his badges in that they were given to him by people who felt sorry for him, and that he didn’t catch his Pokémon, they followed him. Ash decides to prove he can catch a Pokémon, and so he runs off looking for new Pokémon, eventually finding a Krabby at the beach. He catches it, but the Poké Ball disappears. Misty and Brock explain that when a Trainer catches more than 6 Pokémon, the additional Pokémon is sent to the person who gave that Trainer his first Pokémon, AKA Professor Oak. He can do a swap using a function on the Pokédex, but doesn’t want to and would rather find a phone to call and make sure Krabby’s okay. Fortunately, as is often the case with these guys, there just happens to be a lighthouse nearby. The owner of the lighthouse is a man named Bill, who allows them to call Professor Oak, confirming that Ash’s Krabby is doing just fine and that Gary has also caught a Krabby. Much to Ash’s amazement/annoyance, it’s frigging gigantic. Professor Oak asks Bill to give the group a few lessons on Pokémon, since apparently Bill knows even more about Pokémon than Oak himself.

After a brief situation where they have to help Bill get out of a Kabuto costume that he got himself stuck in, Bill tells them all about Pokémon and humans and how there’s a meaning for us all and how we should all get along, yada yada yada, when he brings up that there’s one Pokémon he’s searching for, supposedly the biggest Pokémon known to man. Once again, wonder of wonders, the Pokémon just happens to show up that night, but Team Rocket learn of it and try to capture it, attacking it with bazookas. The Pokémon smashes up the upper part of the lighthouse and wipes the floor with Team Rocket, leaving the lighthouse and going back out to sea despite Bill’s pleas. By the next morning though, Bill is happy to have seen it at all and is hopeful it may come back one day as Ash and Co. leave.

Now that general plot on its own works alright, but there’re a few things that REALLY bother me. To start, let’s look at the very first and quite possibly the biggest thing about this episode that kinda hits my berserk button.

#1 – Misty Is Kind Of A Bitch In This Episode

So according to Misty, Ash didn’t earn either of his badges and all of his Pokémon just kinda followed him around, basically calling him the very crappiest like no one ever was. You know, I remember back in the day thinking about how funny it was when Misty would slap the idiot Ash down, but nowadays I can actually look at her standpoint and realise how full of crap she is. First off, regarding the badges, Ash would’ve beaten Brock but chose not to finish the battle since Brock’s Onix getting weakened by the sprinklers going off was just an accident, and he would’ve beaten YOU, Misty, if Pikachu had been the one to battle to begin with and MAY have beaten you anyway if Team Rocket hadn’t intervened. Now about his Pokémon, Pikachu was given to him as his starter, but he did legit catch Pidgeotto and Butterfree, who was a Caterpie at the time, in the wild. Bulbasaur chose to follow him, but only AFTER Ash proved himself by defeating and catching him, and Charmander and Squirtle chose to follow him after Ash proved his good character to them and that he would be a kind and worthy trainer to them. Oh, and it’s made SO much better in the dub where she has the major base in her voice that makes her sound REALLY condescending. And yeah, I called Misty a bitch. Let’s face it, in the early episodes of the show, she was a bitch! As much as people complain about Togepi on the show sometimes, some of Misty’s best character development came as a result of taking care of Togepi. At this point, her gimmick was that she loved Water Pokémon and bringing Ash down whether he deserved it or not, I.E. being a bitch. I’ve got more I could say, but I’m saving that for a later episode.

#2 – The Pokédex’s Teleportation Function

I should probably take this moment to note that at no time is this function EVER used, rather that Ash makes switches using a transporter at the various Pokémon Centres, not unlike the PC Storage System from the games. It’s also worth noting that Best Wishes changed it so that the Poké Balls weren’t teleported away after they were caught past the 6 Pokémon limit, they instead were locked down until enough Pokémon were teleported to whomever was storing them for the Trainer to leave them with 6. And as much as I’d love to bitch and moan about Best Wishes again…I actually like that idea. Makes more sense than them immediately teleporting ON THEIR OWN. Granted, it goes against how the game works, but I think if we’ve established ANYTHING above all else regarding the anime, the anime and the game are not the same thing.

#3 – The Doors To Bill’s Lighthouse

This is more of a technical problem than anything, and one that people have pointed out before, but I felt the need to add my two cents as well. First off, I’ll point out that in the next full shot of the doors we see…

…that the arrangement of some the Pokémon carved on them is different. But that’s not the big issue I have, it’s one of the Pokémon found on the door: Mewtwo. What is Mew-frakking-two doing on there? If my understanding of the anime’s timeline is correct, Mewtwo should’ve been, at best, a foetus growing in a test tube in the labs on New Island. There is no way that Bill would know of its existence unless he was in on that little deal, which would kinda paint everything that happens in this episode in a new, more horrifying light.

#4 – All The Dub Changes

Okay, I kind of alluded to this earlier with Misty, but in the original, she just asked if Ash getting his full team of six should really count as him catching them or not, to which he says it was close enough. Meanwhile in the dub, she outright tells him he’s wrong and that they all followed him, which I already explained is bullcrap. Then there’s this stupid running gag they added involving Oak and Bill having cooks who went on vacation that left them having to make tofu meals. Umm, what? Why is that funny? Is it because tofu sounds weird? I’m gonna guess that was their reasoning since all other Japanese food names were replaced in the dub, as a part of the dub’s writers’ constant need to remove all trace elements of Japan from the show…and failing miserably.

#5 – The Changes To Bill From The Games To The Anime

Okay, I know that characters who were in the game and were brought over to the show have been changed up. Still, they had SOME aspect of their video game counterparts in them. This version of Bill is NOTHING like his video game counterpart. He lives in a lighthouse instead of a cottage, he has green hair instead of brown, and he’s some kind of Pokémon expert and philosopher instead of the inventor of the PC system. In fact, I don’t get why they don’t use that, considering what happened in the opening act of the episode with Ash catching his seventh Pokémon. And that kind of leads me into the big one…

#6 – Bill Is A Frakking MORON!

And I’d like to break down exactly what I mean in this very simple list.

  1. Why does Bill not know what Pokémon the giant is? He’s supposed to be an expert, he has holographic images of every one of the original 150 he can put up around his room, and yet he doesn’t know that’s a Dragonite. Hell, the Pokédex fricking makes mention of Dragonite in the very next episode! Speaking of which, I call foul on that Dragonite being the biggest Pokémon ever known, I’m certain we’ve seen bigger in the show.
  2. He says that the Pokémon is the last of its kind, even though we know that’s bunk. Now, I’ve heard people suggest that he simply meant the last of its kind of that size, but considering he never refers to it by species, I’m going to assume the more likely answer is that Bill is an idiot.
  3. He gets into a Kabuto costume where the only method of getting out of it is a button on the outside that he cannot reach while in the costume…I don’t even need to say anything else!

I mean, we’re supposed to believe that he’s smarter than Professor Oak? He comes across as a twit most of the time, and when he’s philosophising, it comes across as pretentious bunk. And don’t tell me “Well, c’mon Jyger. Should you really be so critical of a kids show?” Well first off, you can call me Jeff, we’re all friends here. Second, yes, it’s a kids show, but that doesn’t excuse stupidity. Kids shows can be kids shows and still be smartly written…And speaking of this being a kids show, I’d just like to say that I WOULD mention the bazookas in a kids show, but that seems more like something I should bring up looking at the series in general.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, how does this episode hold up? Well, as you can tell, there’s plenty wrong with it. Still, there are some genuinely cool moments, as well as some plain insane moments that Season 1 was known for. If you like it, fine, but I personally do not.

And that’s my thoughts on Mystery At The Lighthouse. Lemme know what you think of this text review, as next time I’m gonna be looking at a little something that was requested a while back: A two-parter from the Justice League cartoon called Hereafter. Ja né!

How Would I Remake Pokémon Yellow?

One Pokémon game that I seriously wish Nintendo would either remake or re-release is Pokémon Yellow, AKA the Special Pikachu Edition. For those that don’t know, Pokémon Yellow was a spin-off of the original versions of Pokémon, except it’s loosely based off the first season of the anime in that you start off with Pikachu, Jessie and James are recurring enemies, certain Trainers you battle have their dialogue changed and teams altered to better reflect anime counterparts, and you can obtain Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. A lot of people really liked it (and of course, a lot of people were out to copy Ash’s exact team, lol), but for some reason it was never re-released. And I know, neither was the third version of the Johto Region games either, but at least elements of it were carried over for the Johto remakes. So I thought to myself, if I was put in charge of doing a remake for Pokémon Yellow, what would I do with it? So, that’s what I’m gonna answer right here. These are the things I would do if I were to remake Pokémon Yellow.

#1 – Gen 5 Mechanics

This one kinda goes without saying, but since it’s the newest Generation, I’d of course want to use the Generation V mechanics. That means the physical/special split, the newest attacks and their effects as seen in Generation V, Triple Battles, Rotational Battles, and so on.

#2 – Use HGSS‘ System For Pokémon Following You

Obviously, Pikachu being outside the ball for the duration of the journey is a must, and I would personally tweak the system from HeartGold/SoulSilver so that the one that follows you is always Pikachu, unless you box the little guy in which case no one follows you. I would include the little pictures from Pokémon Yellow though, only updated with a few more, like maybe him making his elastic faces from the show. ^_^

#3 – Update the Regional Dex

The Pokémon found would obviously include all the original 151, but I would toss in every Pokémon that evolves to and from them, any Pokémon from other Regions seen in Kanto during other games where you venture there (GSC, FRLG, HGSS), and maybe just a few others to help balance out the type ratios (or in Dark’s case, give it a frigging presence).

#4 – Update Pokémon Movepools

Nothing too big, just a tweak here and there. One in particular, GIVING FLAREON FLARE BLITZ! This is NOT that hard to figure out! They even have the same word as part of their names, ‘flare’!

#5 – Include New Move Tutor and TM Locations

This would mostly be done for convenience since Pikachu, let’s be perfectly honest, is not all THAT great on his own. Having updated move tutors and including new locations for TMs would be beneficial. In particular, I was thinking a fetch quest near Pewter City to teach Pikachu Iron Tail, or a Move Tutor near Indigo Plateau that teaches Pikachu Volt Tackle.

#6 – More Battles With Team Rocket

Why? Because they appeared in damned near every episode of the original series, and I think you only battled them like 4 times in the original game. UNACCEPTABLE. lol Also, thinking by the end they would have Meowth, Arbok, Weezing, Wobbufet, Victreebel, and Mime Jr.

#7 – Remodel Male Protagonist To Look Like Ash


#8 – Remodel Female Protagonist To Look Like Ashley

Because it’s too funny to pass up on. XD

#9 – Side-quests Galore, In Particular With Misty and Brock

Okay, kinda alluded to this earlier, but I’d make a ton of side-quests. Stuff you don’t HAVE to do, but are fun, rewarding, and add to the experience of the game. I’m thinking they would involve Brock and Misty, since they follow Ash in the original series. Maybe even a series of events where you can end with actually dating Misty or Brock, depending on which gender you play as.

#10 -Cameos from the Characters Of the Day

I know technically a few Trainers you run into have their dialogue and teams altered to better resemble the characters of the day from the old series, but making their appearances a bit closer and also just including a lot more would be sweet.

#11- The Sevii Islands & The Orange Crew

Since the Sevii Islands were already in FRLG, I’d just go with them instead of the Orange Islands from the anime, but also include the Orange Crew as boss trainers you can battle. Though obviously I’d need to change Drake’s name since there’s already a Drake. Maybe something like Arthur.

#12 – Include The Pokémon World Tournament

Because it is an AWESOME mode. Also, just to be cute (and to piss people off), I’d replace Red with Ritchie. XD

Remember me, mother fuckers? >:)

And that’s all I have in mind for now. Leave your comments and any ideas of what you’d do with the game or any other Pokémon games you’d remake. Ja né!

WTF Moments In Pokémon the Animated Series

So yeah, I’d originally planned to tackle this in a video, but since my cold’s still bugging me, I’m gonna take this on old school.

There have been a number of moments in the run of the Pokémon anime that have made me drop whatever I was hold and shout out “WTF?!” Not necessarily bad moments, just…weird moments, or moments that just caught me off-guard. So yeah, because I wanna share these moments with you all, here’s a collection of some of my WTF Moments in the Pokémon Anime.

Misty Almost Let's The Secret Slip

In The Heartbreak of Brock, a girl named Temacu falls in love with Brock in the typical shoe-on-the-other-foot scenario. She even fantasizes the two getting married someday, all the while Ash and Misty are watching, which results in Misty saying THIS…

Now, I THINK the implication is that either Misty let her secret slip that she loves Ash and he freaked out, or she was talking about them getting married to other people and Ash overreacted. However, at the time that I first watched this, my thinking was that I’d missed an episode, they had gotten together, and now Misty was already planning out their china patterns. Naturally, I had to scramble to check to see if I’d missed an episode, and until I had an answer, you better believe I was freaked out.

Pikachu and Swellow's Thunder Armour

In Ash’s battle against Liza & Tate for the Mind Badge, Pikachu and Swellow fly into some clouds and Pikachu fires off a Thunderbolt. The electricity is amplified and shot back at them, and instead of frying them (because remember that Swellow is weak to electricity), the huge electrical surge coats them in something called Thunder Armour that drastically increases their speed and power, even making them able to power through a Hyper Beam with no difficulty. What’s even worse is that Ash somehow knew that would happen and ordered Pikachu to do it. It was never used again, serving as Deus ex machina for that episode. BULLCRAP.

Buneary Defeats Phione and Joins the Beat-A-Legendary Club

I should explain something first: Dawn’s Buneary tends to get on my nerves. Not because of her personality or anything, but rather something a bit more simplistic: SHE NEVER LEARNS ANY MOVES! She knows three moves from her introduction to the series and guess what? She never learns a single new move in the who-knows-how-many episodes that she’s in the show before Dawn leaves the group. So to see her actually join the Beat-A-Legendary Club was infuriating, although as I understand it Phione’s status as a Legendary Pokémon is a hotly contested issue. Me personally, I usually prefer to think of it as one, and don’t really wanna change my mind just because of this episode pissing me off. Would seem lame on my part.

Charizard Loses To Dusclops

This one seriously pissed me off, partly because it’s Ash’s Charizard, partly because his opponent is a Pokémon not even fully evolved, and mostly because Dusclops was winning by pelting Charizard over and over with Will-O-Wisps, a move that should have done JACK-FUCKING-SQUAT to Charizard! And I don’t care that it belonged to the Pyramid King, this still shouldn’t have gone like this. Also, the finisher came after Ash made a bad call to have Charizard use Seismic Toss, but if I saw my best Pokémon at the time getting his butt whooped in a scenario that made no sense, I’d probably pull something stupid outta my ass too!

Pikachu Aims For The Horn

I think everyone has talked about this one. Basically, Pikachu faces off against Blaine’s Rhydon and, finding that Pikachu’s having SERIOUS trouble, has Pikachu aim a Thunderbolt at Rhydon’s horn…and this knocks it out…That doesn’t even match up with the often-times bullshit physics used in the show! We’re told it works because the horn essentially acts as a lightning rod. Ignoring that that’s an ability of Rhydon’s in later games that does the exact opposite, as well as the fact that as a Ground type Rhydon is immune to electrical attacks, 18 episodes later a similar strategy is used on a Bellsprout, and guess what? DOESN’T WORK, because the electrical current is sent harmlessly through to the ground. When you have two episodes that aired less than 20 episodes apart that take the same plan and give two completely opposing theories on what would happen, YOU FAIL! And yeah, I know they were written by different people, but was NOBODY overseeing what they were doing?!

So anyway, those are the WTF moments that stand out most to me. Comment as you like, and by all means, add your own. And with any luck, I should be feeling better soon and can finish work on my newest vid.