…So, I don’t own this game. Just throwing this out now. Not available for any systems I own, don’t have the money to get a new one, and so here we are. That said, I really wanted to give my thoughts on the story in Injustice 2, especially since I DO own the original and have given my thoughts on it in the past. Luckily, plenty of people, like Maximilian Dood and Kwing, have posted playthroughs of the Story Mode, so I’m thus able to give it my own review. Just remember, though, that as I’m doing this review, I’m speaking strictly about the story, not the game in terms of how it plays and whatnot. Although, I will get this out of the way right now: So far, based on what I’ve seen, it looks like a really good game, haven’t heard much wrong with it from a technical perspective yet, and on a personal note, NetherRealm Studios seem to have HUGELY improved on their facial designs and animations with this game. In fact, over all, I think this is their best LOOKING game of all time. Whenever they wanna make Mortal Kombat XI, they need to take inspiration from this game when it comes to the graphics.
But yeah, the story. So, this takes place a few years after Injustice: Gods Among Us. Superman is in a red solar prison for taking over the world, and his former Regime buddies are either planning to break him out, working to make up for what they did under his rule, or joining Gorilla Grodd’s new group, the Society. However, pretty soon, it becomes clear that the Society are just pawns in a much bigger game, as Brainiac arrives to capture Superman, add a few Earth cities to his collection, and then blow the planet up. Eventually, the situation devolves so much that Batman and his allies have no choice but to release Superman and work with the Regime to try and stop Brainiac and the Society before they destroy the world.
So, right away, I have a bit of a complaint to make. If you didn’t play that game…well, there’re a few details that this game tends to completely either ignore or glance over. Specifically, the heroes of the mainstream DC Universe were brought over to the world primarily presented in these games and the comics to stop an evil Superman who had pretty much taken over with a new group made up of former heroes and villains called the Regime. And while this game takes place on that world, I think there’re maybe one or two passing references to the fact that Batman had help from good Superman and the Justice League in taking down Regime Superman (as in they did most of the work and he got all the credit), and the player is otherwise left to assume Batman was bad enough to bring down Superman all by himself. Also, no mention of the super pills they took last game, which are meant to explain how people like Batman, Harley, and other characters without superpowers can go toe-to-toe with superhumans, get tossed around in outer-fucking-space, and survive without so much as a scratch on them.
Another issue with the story is that it has a bit of a…complicated relationship with the tie-in comics. Nowhere is that more clear than in the first chapter of the story, which is actually set during an operation that Superman, Wonder Woman, and Cyborg were pulling on Arkham Asylum. Basically, some events that happened in the comics are considered canon, others aren’t, and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of pattern as to what is or isn’t, nor is it made 100% clear what all is and is not canon anymore. One thing we DO know about what’s been changed is that, while Damian did apparently still kill Nightwing by accident, it didn’t happen during the operation on Arkham. Instead, the thing that tears him and Batman apart is Damian killing Zsasz…who, in the comics, survived way longer than that, and was actually responsible for killing Alfred. So, right away, we’ve got a double retcon, and that’s not even taking into account certain details mentioned by Cyborg about the deaths of Starfire and Beast Boy.
Before I get to the two biggest things that bother me about the story, though, let’s talk about some positives. First, you know I’m a sucker for stories that involve a ton of characters, and this has a lot of different heroes and villains with a wide range of abilities, from Harley Quinn with her dynamite and mallet, to Doctor Fate, sorcerer supreme of the DC Universe. From Captain Cold, a former bank robber with a freeze gun, to Supergirl, the last hope of Krypton with almost God-like strength and powers. Even Dex-Starr, who is quite possibly the avatar of everything stupid-yet-awesome about comic books, plays a minor role in the story. Characters from all walks of life in the DC Universe have various parts to play in this crisis, and all prove their worthiness to be involved in such a tale. Sadly, the majority of them are taken down a few notches at best by the last two chapters, which I’ll get to, but it’s still awesome to see them all here. Even Joker makes a return via Scarecrow-induced hallucination, which leads to the awesome sight of Harley, in a somewhat close approximation of her classic costume, giving him a good ass kicking.
Another positive to the story is not quite something I suggested after playing through the first game’s Story Mode, but close and still appreciated. Several chapters of the game give you not one but two characters to play through with, and you choose which one to play as before each fight in that chapter. As such, you can mix and match who fights whom, or you can have your favourite of the two do all the ass kicking. It’s totally up to you. And I appreciate that. I personally suggested classic Marvel vs Capcom 2v2 style fights, but whatever. Still cool, and allows not only for different dialogue and scenes depending on who is involved in the fights, but for more characters to take center stage in each…at least until the end, but again, I’ll get to that.
So, now for something that annoys me to no end, and if you’ve played through the Story Mode and know me and the characters I like, you should be able to figure this out. Simply put, I am NOT a fan of how Superman, Wonder Woman, and Poison Ivy are written in this game’s story, especially the last two (although that could simply be that nothing Superman does could top what he did to Shazam last game, who is a CHILD). In particular, there is a scene where Poison Ivy uses her pheromones on Harley Quinn to turn her against her allies. Now, first off, I’d just like to point out that Harley is supposed to possess immunity to most poisons, toxins, etc., due to injections given to her BY Poison Ivy. But, let’s just ignore that for now, because that’s not what really aggravates me. Instead, after inhaling too much of Ivy’s pheromones, Harley starts going into shock, and Ivy’s reaction is to roll her eyes and show complete and utter apathy over her former lover lying on the ground dying five feet away from her… … …Linkara, I need you again!
Thank you!… … …Look, here’s the thing: I can see a situation where Harley and Ivy could be on opposing sides, sure, maybe even having to fight each other, but there is NO FUCKING WAY that Harley could be dying two feet away from Ivy, and Ivy would be on that level of not giving a shit. This is HARLEY we’re talking about. Regardless of if you subscribe to the idea of the two as a couple or not, the fact is that the second she saw her convulsing like that, she would have dropped EVERYTHING else and tried to help her, because be it in a romantic sense or not, Harley is one of the few people left that Ivy truly cares about. But she doesn’t. Why? Because Ivy is, in this story, irredeemably EVIL, as are Wonder Woman and Superman.
Now, I’ve brought this up in videos before, and they’ve brought up the defense that this is an alternate universe, so of course characters are gonna behave in ways we’re not used to. And yeah, as I said before, that was a thing in Injustice 1, and other than going to the extreme of Superman killing Billy Batson, I didn’t mind. So, why does it bother me here? Well, I thought about that, and I came to the following conclusion: It was easier to watch and deal with characters I knew and loved acting in such a manner in Injustice 1 because we had the versions we knew and loved going up against them. Hell, it actually made for interesting contrasts between them to see how they were so different, and yet had a starting point they could both be linked back to. Here, though, we don’t have that. We just have them acting like…well, MONSTERS. And, for that matter, why is it that we have characters who behave in a way that’s completely removed from the core of who they are, and then some who aren’t? Why are Barry and Hal able to realize the error of their ways in the previous game and try to redeem themselves, but Diana isn’t? You have to remain constant to the rules of how this alternate universe works, otherwise you’re inviting people to bring up these comments when stuff like this happens.
And then there’s my last issue: The end of the game, and if you don’t wanna know, then sorry, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. This is your only warning…Okay, so Superman and Batman go up to the Skull Ship to stop Brainiac, save Supergirl, and restore the stolen cities. Unlike in past chapters with multiple characters, the final two fights of this chapter have you fighting Brainiac twice, once with Superman and once with Batman. Personally, I would have changed it to where you choose which of them fights him the first time, and then Supergirl takes him on in the final battle. After all, not only does the Story Mode start with a flashback to her escape from Krypton after Brainiac invades, but we frequently see her side of the story as it unfolds even outside of her chapter, plus she gets a good shot in on Brainiac just before the last fight, AND she plays a big role in the ending of the game. So, clearly, the story largely centers around her, meaning it makes logical sense for her to be the one to take Brainiac down in the end. However, what’s a bigger issue is…that’s NOT the final chapter. The final chapter involves Superman and Batman, having successfully stopped Brainiac’s ship from crashing due to Superman interfacing with it, as well as managing to restore all of the Earth cities sans Metropolis and Coast City, coming to an argument over whether or not to kill Brainiac and take control of his Skull Ship, thus risking the remaining cities that haven’t been restored yet, or keep him alive long enough to restore the cities. And guess what? The story ends with them fighting AGAIN, leading to you choosing which one to play as in fighting the other and their allies. So the story ends with either Batman defeating Superman with a Kryptonite-enhanced armor and then banishing him to the Phantom Zone, then inviting Supergirl to take Clark’s place on a new Justice League, or Superman defeating Batman, bonding with Brainiac’s ship, imprisoning Supergirl in the red solar prison, and using Brainiac’s tech to turn Batman into his slave…Oh, and I’m assuming (don’t know this for a fact) that you get the special armor shown in the ending for the character you chose.
So, what’s my problem there? Well, it’s two-fold. The first reason I dislike it is because I would’ve personally ended the game with Brainiac’s defeat…then I would have had Superman DIE trying to use the ship’s systems to restore the Earth cities. Yes, I would have KILLED Superman. Barring that, I suppose he could’ve been left critically injured past the point of being able to recover quickly from solar rays, thus leaving him comatose or the like. Either way, I would have had the story end with him making that sacrifice, and then, as he lies on the floor, surrounded by friends and family, he looks back on how everything that went wrong stems from his decision to kill the Joker, and finally realizes his mistakes. It wouldn’t have magically taken away everything he did, but it would have at least let him go out saving the world and acknowledging that he did wrong. And then, from there, I guess you have Supergirl taking his place on the new League, the Regime all either surrender, go into hiding, or likewise realize their errors and join the new League, and so on. Oh, and I also would’ve added a teaser at the end for Darkseid deciding to try his hand at attacking Earth next, since…well, let’s be honest, that’s probably where they’re going.
The other reason I don’t care for the end of this game, either one, is because… … …Well, because I don’t care. I don’t care that Superman and Batman are fighting AGAIN. I’m too numb to it now. Why should I care that Superman and Batman are going to fight for the 11,311th time?…That’s one for every day since The Dark Knight Returns #4 came out, btw, and oh dear lord, I just now realized I’m two days removed from being exactly one year older than that comic. My God, I’m old. But the point still stands, I’ve just seen it too often, and I just don’t care to see it ever again. So ultimately, the ending doesn’t impress at all. It literally leaves me going “Oh yay, this again…”, and that’s not how a story should end. Like, it really says it all when, the first time they fight in the game during Chapter 1, all I can think during this scene that’s supposed to be really dramatic and sad is “Wow, I love the gold trim on Superman’s cape in this scene. Looks really good, and adds some much-needed colour balance between the red, blue, and yellow”.
So, as a result, for the ending leaving me so disappointed and for everything else that went wrong…I have to unfortunately give the story a thumbs down overall. There ARE moments I like and even love, like Harley beating down Joker, Hal Jordan fighting off the urge of the Red Lanterns’ rage, Cyborg vs Grid, the reveal that Batman kept the old round table for the Justice League, and so on. But it’s just overshadowed by a story that is infuriating at times and just unenthusing at others. Sorry, NetherRealm, but this is one story I just couldn’t give my approval to. Better luck next time, though.
Anyway, what did you think of the Story Mode? Let me know in the comments below, and let’s hope that Mr. Boon and DC listen to what we have to say next time. Ja né!
…Yeah, I know this is lame, but whatever. I made some more DC superheroes and supervillains on Deviant Art using dress up games and the like. So, I thought I’d share a small collage of some of them, along with a link to the rest…
Also, if you wanna make your own, here’s a short list of links to where you can find the games I’ve been using…
…And, lastly, if you want me to create any other DC superheroes that I haven’t already, feel free to leave a comment here or on my Deviant Art account. Ja né!
So, I was watching Linkara’s review of Batman: The Dark Knight #1 – 3, and a thought occurred to me when he was talking about over-saturation of Batman in the New 52. Now, to answer the question, yes, that was definitely a thing in the New 52. However, on closer observation, it’s clear that it’s not JUST a New 52 thing. Even now, in Rebirth, and I’ll get more into this in June, we have three books devoted to Batman, he’s part of three team books, and he constantly cameos in other books with characters relating to him. In fact, right now in DC, there are seven books that are officially part of the Batman Family line of books, and at least ten other books that either star Batman or another Bat or Gotham related character in some way, shape, or form. That’s seventeen books right there, many of which are shipped twice monthly.
However, it actually goes beyond that. Another point people have made is that other DC characters, especially during the New 52, have been made a lot darker and more brooding, and at times have been given darker coloured costumes. In other words, more like Batman. And if you think I’m lying, rewatch the current DC Cinematic Universe movies involving Superman, and tell me he hasn’t been made a LOT more like Batman. The problem with that being that DC has less of a varied universe of characters. Thankfully, that seems to have gone down a lot with Rebirth. What has NOT, however, is that, in the team books that Batman is in, guess who is usually the one given the most highlighting and oftentimes is the one to save the day? It’s insane, and it actually makes it hard for people like me to be big Batman fans.
Here’s what a lot of people might not recognize, though: This actually hurts Batman in the long run, too. You might be wondering how in the hell that’s possible. Well, it is, and I’ll explain how that is: The more DC and Warner Bros. continue to make other characters be more like Batman, the darker and more assholish (AKA more like when Frank Miller writes him) they have in turn made Batman in an attempt to keep him distinct. Furthermore, the more they over-saturate the character, especially now that he’s so over-the-top dark and an asshole, the more people are gonna be turned off by him. Yes, he’s still selling great, but how long is that going to last? Again, I’ll go over this more in June, but suffice to say, Batman in his solo-title written by Tom King is a complete dickhole, and while past writers have taken him beyond the usual constraints of a human being (and thus missing the point of his character entirely), there was a SEVERE bullshit moment during the I Am Suicide arc. The biggest reason people are still buying is due to the legacy of the character, not what he’s doing right now. So yeah, it’s working out great for him now, but one has to wonder for how long.
Anyway, those are my own thoughts on the matter, but what about you, the readers? Let me know what you think in the comments below, and we’ll see how things change in the future. Ja né!
Y’know, I’ve made it clear that I’m not a fan of Batman killing people. I just think that’s contrary to who the character is in the modern age. Batman should not kill people. However, let’s assume you’re whoever it was that decided Batman must be a killer in the current DC movies. Regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter, let’s go with that premise. However, beyond simply acclimating us to Batman killing people, as Confused Matthew recently pointed out in his own review of Batman v Superman, you need to make sure that there are no contradictory issues involving him killing people with his other actions and inactions. And, in the case of these movies, I think I may have found one.
Now, I know we all liked to think that the ending of Man of Steel, where Superman snaps Zod’s neck, would act as the catalyst for him deciding to never kill again, that being forced to do so and feeling so awful about it would, in turn, make Superman a better person. However, considering he kills at least two more times in BvS, I think it’s safe to say that was never the plan. Sorry, it just wasn’t. BUT, let’s give the benefit of the doubt and assume that, given Batman’s decision not to kill or brand Lex Luthor at the end of BvS, he’s decided to abandon his killing ways. That way, we can even craft character development around it, in that meeting Superman and Wonder Woman and saving Martha Kent’s life, something has changed inside of him, and he’s not going to kill anymore. That means that, whenever the situation comes up where he COULD kill someone and doesn’t, we know why and it makes at least some sort of sense. However, there’s still a problem that’s been nagging at me ever since the movie came out…and I think I finally figured out what it is. And ultimately, it comes down to three panels…
And that’s when I realized the biggest plot hole regarding Batman killing people: Given what we’ve seen and heard in these movies, we can infer that Batman started down this much darker road after Joker killed Jason Todd. And, as I’ve mentioned before, that actually makes sense when you consider what happened in the comics. The biggest difference between what happened there and what’s going on in the comics is that, apparently, in this universe, Tim Drake never stepped into Batman’s life, and he went down a route of killing his enemies. But, if all of that’s true, then why in the hell is the Joker still alive? Why wasn’t he the FIRST person Batman killed? And don’t give me any bull about how he hasn’t been able to catch him, because I refuse to believe that, in all of that time, he NEVER caught him. Hell, according to Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn was an accomplice in Robin’s murder. Why didn’t Batman kill HER when he fished her out of the bay? Honestly, I think the only reason he doesn’t kill Deadshot is because his daughter was there watching the whole thing go down. Now, admittedly, we don’t know EXACTLY when he caught both of these individuals, but I was under the assumption they were both just a little bit before BvS, since the Justice League trailers and the ending of BvS seems to indicate he immediately began putting all of his efforts into locating and bringing Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman into the fold. So even if he DID decide not to kill anymore by the end of that movie, these events would’ve happened BEFORE then. Harley and the Joker should both be dead as shit. It makes no logical sense, if Batman kills people, and they’re the ones who sent him down this dark path, that he wouldn’t kill them. So yeah, add this to the LONG list of ways that the makers of these movies have failed hard… … …Though it’s hardly the worst way.
Are there any other plot holes you can think of regarding Batman killing people? Lemme know in the comments below. Ja né!
Okay, I know this is not the first parody song I’ve ever posted, but just reminding everyone, I did not write the song this was based on, nor do I profit from this in any way. Also, this is meant to be read from Harley Quinn’s POV in observation of Poison Ivy. lol
I never seen ya lookin’ so lovely as ya did tonight
I never seen ya shine so bright
I never seen so many men help ya shut down some factory
They’re lookin’ for a little romance, just like me
I never seen that flower yer wearing
Or the flowers in yer hair that match yer eyes
I have been blind
Pammy in green is dancin’ with me, cheek to cheek
Mistah J’s not here, it’s just you and me, it’s where I wanna be
But I hardly know this redhead by my side
But I’ll never forget, the way ya look tonight
I never seen ya lookin’ so gorgeous as you did tonight
I never seen ya shine so bright, ya were amazin’
I’ve never seen so many people hypnotized to be by your side
And when ya turned to me and smiled, it made me wanna take ya an-Imeantookmybreathaway! Yeah, that’s it.. … …
I have never had such a feelin’, such a feelin’ of complete and utter love, as I do tonight
Pammy in green is dancin’ with me, cheek to cheek
The Bat and Birdboy ain’t here, it’s just you and me, it’s where I wanna be
And I really hope DC won’t retcon us
But I’ll never forget, the way ya look tonight
I never will forget, the way ya look tonight
Pammy in green
Pammy in green
Pammy in green
My Pammy in green
Y’know, in comics, when you’re setting up line-ups of different titles to try and sell to your customers, say as part of a reboot or relaunch or whatever, it’s a good idea to keep it varied. After all, you never know when something different might stick with someone. But, at the same time, there are certain books that have a certain name value to them that need to be kept in, no matter what you’re doing. DC Comics, in particular, seems to have several of these high name value books. But which ones are the ones that I feel are the ones that MUST be kept in, regardless of what they’re doing? What books, no matter what kind of universal reboot or retooling or new direction, do I feel are the titles that should be kept around? Well, strap yourselves in, because I’m about to go over them now. These are the 12 essential DC titles I feel should be a part of every line-up. So, let’s start with an obvious one…
If for no other reason, Action Comics needs to be kept around for DC’s entire life-span because it’s the book that started this whole incredible ride. And because it’s been around for so long, it can provide for great anniversary moments. Hell, at this moment in time, we are coming up super close to a legitimate Action Comics #1000, and it’s frigging awesome. I would keep Action Comics running from now until the end of time if I could, and I would NEVER attempt to renumber it ever again.
Same deal as Action Comics. Detective Comics has been a major staple of DC (right down to the frigging name), and is likewise creeping up on 1000 issues. This needs to keep running for as long as DC Comics does. Maybe even longer, if say someone like Marvel or whoever bought out DC and kept their characters and stories going.
They are the three pillars of DC Comics. Let’s just be clear about that. No matter how big anyone else gets, and there are plenty of big freaking names, these are the ones that best define DC: Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. You do not have DC Comics if you don’t have these three characters, and they MUST have their own solo titles. Admittedly, though, Action Comics and Detective Comics of the modern day are pretty much just Superman and Batman books respectively, but at least said books also feature plenty of their supporting casts. Hell, for a time, Detective Comics primarily starred Batwoman. But yeah, these three HAVE to be around.
Okay, I know what I just said about the Trinity, but if there was anyone else in DC that I can’t imagine the books existing without, it’s The Flash. This is probably because of the fact that he’s been central to so many major events that revolve around the Multiverse and the central continuity of the stories. Think about that: Any time there has ever been a major shake up, Barry or another Flash was in the middle of it. As such, Flash is very much a central part of DC’s legacy, and needs to continue to be as much moving forward.
It’s the A-List group of superheroes within this universe. There is no shared universe of any sort without the Justice League. And I don’t care what you call them, be it the Justice League, Justice League of America, JLA, Justice League International, or Justice League United, there MUST be a Justice League of some sort no matter what is going on. That said, there are maybe two other teams that need just as much focus…
With so many great superheroines in the DC Universe, it’s hard to imagine there ever being a time when the Birds of Prey didn’t exist. I mean, I know there was, but I can’t imagine how or why. It’s bizarre. That said, one thing that the Birds of Prey books need to stop doing is introducing whole new male characters that no one cares about. Specifically, Condor from the New 52 version and the new Oracle in the Rebirth version. It’s infuriating. lol I would also probably use this book as a means of getting the Gotham City Sirens (Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy) involved in major storylines if they didn’t have their own books. I mean, I would probably make sure they did have their own book, but again, I’m going specifically for the bare essentials here.
Again, with so many younger heroes, there simply MUST be a Teen Titans (or just Titans) book at all times. Even if you rebooted back to square one, to where Dick Grayson is Robin and so on, there are still plenty of options to go with. You still have Kid Flash, Aqualad, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Starfire, so many younger heroes that would be welcome in a Titans book.
Granted, this hasn’t always been the case, but Green Lantern, more than any other hero, helps to unite the events on Earth with the events throughout the universe in DC. So many cosmic heroes and villains that are brought into what goes on with Earth via connections to the Green Lantern Corps. I don’t even care which one you use (I personally prefer John Stewart, but whatever), but there MUST be a Green Lantern with their own book at some point. Hell, there are so many, each with their own unique stories, you could give the vast majority their own books.
Of all of the characters who have rotated in and out of the Justice League, Aquaman is one of the few that has stuck around the longest. For all the jokes people STILL sling at this guy, none of which are warranted, he remains one of DC Comics’ signature characters. And dammit, he needs to remain as such forever. He’s earned it.
So, that leaves us with #12. And, I’ll admit, this is the hardest one to decide, because whoever gets in, that means everyone else is left out as being one of the essentials, which I feel is a slight against all of them. No matter how I spin it, I’m purposely leaving out each one of the above characters who aren’t chosen as #12 as being one of the most important characters with the most important stories. And it doesn’t help that my own personal bias affects this, too. And yes, my personal bias makes me want to say Gotham City Sirens or a Stephanie Brown book. But, in the end, I have to choose what I feel would be the most important to DC’s line-up and its legacy. So, with that in mind, and I KNOW I’m gonna piss someone off with this, here is my pick for #12…
I think that one thing that’s been universally agreed upon in terms of what was lost with the New 52 was the DC Universe’s legacy. Not just where it’s headed, but where it came from as well. Both the legacy heroes who came before and are yet to come. No matter what kind of reboot or reset that happens, it’s important, for the sake of those that continue to keep up with DC, to have something that speaks to its legacy. And no team better represents DC’s legacy, where it’s been, and where it’s going, than the Justice Society. And it can be either a book set on an alternate Earth, or a book about a team that existed back in the days of the Golden Age of comics, but there MUST be a Justice Society. Ironically, at this time, Earth 2: Society has finished its run, and a Justice Society book is still in the works. Hopefully, though, DC doesn’t leave us waiting for too much longer with the latter.
And, just to be clear, if I was running DC Comics, I would of COURSE have books like Poison Ivy, Batgirl, Martian Manhunter, Gotham City Sirens, Green Arrow, Supergirl, and Secret Six going at the same time as the other twelve I’ve mentioned. They’re all important characters and stories to me. But this isn’t just about me. And besides, with the choices I gave, there’s still plenty of room to involve all of those characters and more. And, like I said at the beginning, it’s good to throw other, varied options around for the reader to pick up and see if they like it. Give different heroes and stories a chance to shine. But, at the end of the day, these are the twelve that I think NEED to survive above all others from now until whenever this crazy age of comic books comes to an end.
… … …BUT, I’m sure you all have your own picks and selections, so feel free to leave them in the comments below. Ja né!
…Show it again. lol
Now the audience’s reaction.
Honest to God, at this point, I don’t even care if Roman Reigns goes over Braun Strowman the next time they wrestle. Braun is a made man after this. And if you think that mister Mohit Gaur, who recorded that last video, sounded like he was having an orgasm while watching, imagine what Vince #ILoveBigMuscles McMahon was like backstage. A friend of mine said it was likely a matter of “Oop, my hand is in my pants again”, to which I responded “Fuck his pants! His pants were probably flung to the other side of the gorilla position while he had both hands firmly clasped around his dick and hosed all over Michael Cole and JBL!”…Okay, I MAY have added some of that for this article, but the point still stands! Like, you remember that thing Triple H said about Vince and Cocky years ago? That was what was going on backstage while all that was going on! And honestly, I feel like the whole sequence of the beatdown and Strowman pushing over the ambulance should’ve been the last thing we saw on the show, because who the fuck could care about the draft (oh sorry, Superstar Shakeup) after THAT?!
Now, here’s why I wanted to talk about this, besides telling sick-minded jokes about Vinny Mac: A lot of people, in response to this, have pointed out all of the ways this was complete bullshit. Specifically, how that was clearly not the real Roman Reigns on the stretcher when Strowman Zack-Ryder’d him, and that there was no way on God’s green Earth that Braun Strowman pushed over a 10,000+ pound vehicle. And yes, one person in particular would be King Ross, and no, none of what I’m about to say is meant to be a sleight against him. In fact, I was laughing my ass off at his dissection of this whole sequence of events. To be blunt, I don’t think I even need to direct what I’m about to say to him, since he probably already knows and was just doing this for the sake of entertainment. But I’ll say it anyway: I’m well aware of the fact that this was stupid and fake as shit. Here’s the thing I need to make clear, though: I still loved it. I still thought it was awesome. The fact that it was fake didn’t influence my thoughts on it at all. As long as something is so outrageous and eye-popping that you physically
want NEED to go on social media, not only to say your own piece about it but to see what everyone else thought, it accomplished its goals. And really, isn’t that exactly what wrestling is? Something that is obviously fake and kind of stupid but you watch anyway for how over-the-top insane and awesome it can be?
But hey, that’s just my take on it. Feel free to let me know what you thought. Ja né!
Well, it’s finally out, folks. And if you haven’t seen it yet, here it is, the Thor: Ragnarok trailer.
…So, first off, I need to be completely honest with everyone reading this right now… … …I laughed my ass off at the scene where Thor is confronted by Hulk. That was the best possible reaction Thor could’ve given in that scene. I almost fell right out of my chair. Also, considering that we already knew Hulk was going to be in this movie, ending the trailer on the fight between them was a good move, since we’ve really only ever seen the two fight once before in the first Avengers movie, and this time, Thor’s going in without Mjolnir, so it’s a completely level playing field. And while his appearances in the trailer were brief, it’s great to see Tom Hiddleston back as Loki. Not sure if any of what he did in the last Thor movie is going to play into his role here (for reasons I’ll explain later), but he was an element that NEEDED to be present. One of the biggest issues with the MCU has been its lack of good villains, so having Loki back is a huge asset.
Now then, let’s talk about what I didn’t like. And that’s not to say that anything in this trailer was actually particularly BAD, either. No, my problem is with the tone. See, I want you to think about some of the things you just saw in this trailer: Mjolnir was destroyed, Asgard was overrun and possibly destroyed as well, and Thor and Hulk have been captured and forced into gladiatorial combat, all while God knows what kind of havoc all of these events are going to cause. Hell, just look at the title: RAGNAROK, the word meant to describe an apocalyptic event in which the world basically dies and is reborn again at the cost of much that came before. It’s a really bleak situation. And yet…the tone of this trailer doesn’t seem all that bleak, does it? And I know what you’re thinking: “But Jyger, you complain about how dark and dire the DC movie trailers are, so why would you want this one to be like that?” Well, first off, I’m not saying we should do DC’s muted colours, darker palette, and overall lack of joy. No, what I’m saying is, this should feel more like Thor is dealing with his greatest challenge and is at the end of his rope. The bit where he yells “YES!” at seeing Hulk is fine, and in fact would act as a great moment of levity for the trailer, but otherwise, a lot of the trailer’s tone should’ve been different. And just throwing this out there: Jeff Goldblum as a major villain does not inspire terror… … …Well, at least not in the way he was supposed to. lol
But more importantly than that, what bothers me most of all about this trailer is that this should feel less like Guardians of the Galaxy and more like a fucking THOR movie. Now, if you’re confused by that statement, lemme clarify something: I LIKE Guardians of the Galaxy. I love those characters. I love the GotG trailers. However, Thor should no more feel like GotG than GotG should feel like Thor. They are their own separate entities within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and should have their own unique feels to them as a means of bringing in their own fanbases. And what REALLY bothers me is that, from what I’ve heard, this movie is meant to act as a soft reboot for Thor (not erasing everything that came before, but just changing the overall direction from here on out) within the MCU. And if this trailer is to be believed, then that new direction change is to basically be Guardians of the Galaxy, which is a mistake for the very reasons I just explained. And maybe I’m alone in this attitude, maybe it’s just a me issue, but that’s my opinion. Like I said, I don’t think the trailer taken on its own is bad, but that it should’ve been different. And maybe it’s just this one trailer that’ll feel like this, and it was just done to get a bunch of attention. We’ll see in the months to come.
Anyway, lemme know what you all thought about the trailer, if you agree with my assessment or not, and we’ll see what happens from now until November. Ja né!
Well, I WAS going to do a vlog about the movie. Unfortunately, there are new tenants upstairs from where I live with little kids who like to run around a lot, so I opted to write about it instead. lol So, here they are, my written thoughts on the new Power Rangers movie, having just gotten home from seeing it with N. Harmonik.
Okay, I know that we live in the age where saying this sounds like an insult, but I thought the movie was GOOD. It’s not great, but it’s good and it’s fun to sit back and enjoy. And, believe it or not, THAT’S OKAY. I’m sick of people who take someone saying that something is good but not great as an insult. But yes, this movie is good. The best way to describe it is being dumb yet fun and ultimately harmless. And I will admit to being worried about it, particularly after finding out that Billy would be autistic and Trini would be gay. Why would that bother me? Because, if you’ll lean in real close so I can share a little secret with you: I’M ON BOTH THOSE SPECTRUMS…I know, I just revealed the best kept secret in the flipping world. I’ll give you all a moment to recover mentally. lol But anyway, my point is, with how very Bay-esque this movie was coming off in the trailers, I was worried the decision to make them autistic and LGBTQ would be simply to play up the stereotypes of both and have those BE their character traits. Thankfully, though, I think we may have dodged the bullet on that one. In fact, if I may be so bold, the reason I think this movie is actually better than both the Transformers and TMNT movies going on right now has a lot to do with the characters and our ability to actually LIKE them. And, that being the case, let’s go over each one, shall we?
The first thing you gotta know about the characters is that, while they’re people we can relate to and get on board with, they’re also very much delinquents. Jason, for example, finds himself in trouble after a prank gone wrong, to the point where he’s under house arrest. However, he’s still a good person, as shown when he stands up to a bully to protect Billy. He’s also the one who decides to go with being a Power Ranger first, much like his TV counterpart. I should also note that he’s not a martial artist, but rather a football player. In fact, none of the team go in being at all experienced in martial arts, and have to be trained by Alpha 5 (who is thankfully more adept than the TV version, or that would’ve ended horribly). However, he nonetheless comes off as the physically strongest (even after they get their powers) and seems to take on a leadership role rather easily. I did love how he at one point says they should stop pretending to be superheroes and then IMMEDIATELY goes into a superhero team leader speech. 😛
Zack is…the crazy one. No, seriously, that’s pretty much his character. He’s the more reckless of the team, opting to try and pilot his Zord before being able to morph, is all too willing to try and test the limits of his enhanced strength and leaping ability, and even gets into a fight with Jason at one point. However, he’s also the one to come up with the idea of sharing secrets around a fire as a means to help them get closer. And it turns out he might have a reason for his recklessness: His mother is dying, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself and his life when she goes. But, by the end, he finds he does have something more to live for: His friends. He also feels a connection to Trini, doing all he can to keep her with the group and helping her open up about herself. I’m not sure if that’s because he’s crushing on her hard or what, but the point stands that he gets her to be herself with the team.
Billy was honestly the one I was most concerned about since pretty much the first trailer. Of everyone presented, you could instantly tell through him that these were NOT going to be the same characters as we’ve known since 1993. And yes, that’s absolutely true, these are NOT your 90s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. However, here’s the thing you need to remember: That doesn’t automatically make these characters BAD. In fact, if I can be thoroughly honest, these characters are 100x more developed and interesting than the originals were in the beginning. They developed into much more well-rounded characters over time, but in the beginning? Not so much. And no, Billy’s character is not that he’s autistic. It’s a part of who he is, but it’s not his character, and as someone with Asperger’s Syndrome and having worked with people all up and down the autism spectrum, I was not offended at all by his character. Right from the beginning, he’s the one who values his new friendships the most, and because of that, he’s the first one to morph, albeit briefly. He also has a MAJOR moment late in the movie that…well, let’s just say I did NOT see it coming, but I honestly thought worked perfectly. Also, if you’re wondering, he’s in detention for blowing up his lunch box. Seriously. XD
Ahh, Trini, my first love. Which is why learning she’s LGBTQ in this movie is hilarious to me personally. lol And, much like Billy, her being gay is not her character. And while I was worried they might’ve only done that just so that they could have Rita go succubus mode on her, really, there’s only one line in particular that seems to have that kind of subtext to it. No, if I had to sum up her character, it’s best displayed in her sarcasm and her difficulty gelling into a group. In fact, her more sarcastic nature could even be seen as a defense mechanism/smokescreen. She quite literally has to be forcibly pulled into the group. But, once there, she realizes she likes being part of a group of friends that care for her and will watch her back, and is able to open up to them about her issues at home with her family who just want her to be “normal”. Granted, I still can’t say that I care for this character the same way I did Trini, but that’s my natural bias, and I did not have any kind of issues with this version. That said, what IS her last name now, since it’s obviously not Kwan? o.O
Kimberly is a bit of an odd nut to crack at first, but then the reveal is made why she is the way she is: She once leaked a photo of a friend of hers with some guy to her boyfriend. Looking on her actions in hindsight, it’s easy to see that she’s carrying the guilt of what she did the entire time, and when she considers that it may be her keeping this to herself that’s keeping them from morphing, she tells Jason, who tells her to carry that with her, and to be the person she wants to be. And yeah, they hint several times at the two having feelings for each other, though the kiss from the trailer has been removed. And all the better, I say. If they DO decide that’s the direction they wanna go as opposed to her with Tommy, better to have it develop slowly over a gradual amount of time.
Beyond the team, there are several other things that got revised for this movie. For example, Zordon is now the original Red Ranger, and rather than being trapped in a time-warp that he speaks through via a tube, he’s actually dead and had his consciousness transferred into his ship (the movie’s version of the Command Center) and speaks through a wall that reforms itself to be shaped like his head. Rita Repulsa is likewise the original Green Ranger, but betrayed and killed the team. And, if I can be honest…I really love that change. Honestly, it just fits, and even could’ve worked in the original version of the story without changing much. Hell, I don’t even think it was ever revealed exactly how she got her hands on the Green Power Coin originally in the show. Zordon being the Red Ranger is admittedly a little trickier to work in, but it could be done.
Now, about the Zords… … …Eh. Look, they aren’t bad designs, especially in their separated forms. Really, the only thing that bugs me is the multiple legs on the Mastodon Zord to make it “more alien”. Otherwise, they’re fine, and I actually appreciate the Pterodactyl Zord being the most useful of the group since…well, this is kind of a no-brainer, but because it can freaking fly. But then they combine, and…look, I get what they were going for, and it works for the most part, but it just does not hold a candle to the original design. And admittedly, that could totally be a me issue. What’s funny is, it was actually when I noticed something familiar about the Zords’ individual designs that something hit me about this movie. Specifically, I started to realize that there was one other PR story that this seemed to resemble a fair bit more than MMPR…
Think about it: The teens aren’t friends in the beginning and instead meet by chance that leads them to becoming Rangers after freeing the source of their powers from stone. Their mentor is a former Ranger. They actually have a tie to the time of the dinosaurs beyond the Zords simply being modeled after them, which, as I noted, actually look less like the original Dino Zords and more like the ones from Dino Thunder. Hell, even certain characteristics of the team can be seen as similar to the Dino Thunder team, like Jason being a sports jock. And I’m not even saying any of this as a negative thing. Honestly, if you’re going to use any season as a model of how to update the teenagers with attitude gimmick, Dino Thunder is the one to go with.
As for stuff I didn’t like…well, for starters, I was not a fan of some of the moments that seemed to be trying too hard to appeal to a more adult fanbase. For example, I did NOT need the thing with the cow’s penis, and frankly, I found that joke to be done better in City Slickers 2. I also did NOT need to hear Billy have to stop himself from saying motherfucker. That was going a bit too far with the gag of him having to stop himself and others from swearing. And while I agree that it’s probably for the best that Bulk and Skull are not in this movie, as they wouldn’t have fit the tone, the new bully is just the stereotypical bland bully that only exists to have his comeuppance and doesn’t really have a character. And then there’s Alpha, and while I appreciate him being more active and understand the reason for the new voice, the voice seems like a very random choice, and he doesn’t have much of a character at all, though putting developing that on the back burner for the first movie is understandable. Plus, while I understand where they were going with the new design…the eyes are weird. I’m sorry. lol
Now, all of that said, I have to be blunt about something: If you’re coming to this movie expecting to see a perfect adaptation of the original MMPR to the big screen, you will not get what you want. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. This is not the 90s MMPR. However, that does not make this a bad movie, and while there are things about it that are inferior to the original, there are also things about it that are better. Will it be beloved to me in the same way that the original was? Of course not. But it’s something that I enjoyed watching, and wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel to, especially since it’s been all but written in the sky that the next movie will be Green With Evil. And speaking of, I am totally in favour of the idea of making Tommy a girl, just so long as she remains the badass martial artist. That part of Tommy has to remain the same, no matter what else they change about him/her/it/they/whatever. Also, I would just like to point out that Jason David Frank and Amy Jo Johnson are in this movie… … …That is all. XD
Anyway, I think that best describes my own personal thoughts on the movie. So, if anyone else was on the fence about seeing it, I hope I’ve helped you come to your own conclusions. Ja né, and may the power protect you always!
…Oh, and lastly, N. Harmonik and I marked out like mad when Go Go Power Rangers played. XD