Why I Am Officially Divorcing The Pokémon Anime (WARNING – ANGRY RANT AHEAD)

…So, you may have noticed that I haven’t done a review of the Pokémon anime in a long time. It’s taken a long time to admit to this, but after watching Best Wishes with my friend N. Harmonik, and she can attest to how many times I’ve brought up what’s wrong with the anime as of late, and clearly seeing that no, Ash has NOT grown up in the new series, and no, he probably never will, and seeing that every season from now until whenever the show ends will likely be ‘second verse, same as the first’…I hate this show. I hate this show so much. It is everything that an anime should NEVER be: Characters do not grow, there is little to no story, and there is very little resolution to the characters’ journeys because, at the beginning of every new series, they hit the reset button. It’s not even really an anime, it’s a half-hour advertisement for the games, and when the Pokémon games have had better stories than the anime has, that’s a BAD thing.

If yer wondering what exactly it is that has broken the camel’s back, allow to explain. There is a movie that has come out recently that involves Mewtwo going up against Genesect. This was the movie I was actually really looking forward to, because this was the battle that seemed practically gift-wrapped to the writers: A Pokémon with a very similar back-story to Mewtwo, but with a severe type advantage. And when I saw that there was more than one of them, and they’d be going up against a Mega Evolved Mewtwo, my jaw dropped and I said “That’s gonna be AWESOME!”

Now, as my excitement wore down a little and I learned more about Mega Evolution, the question then was, “Well, how does Mewtwo Mega Evolve? In the games, that requires a Pokémon to be holding a Mega Stone, and to have a close enough a connection to a Trainer with a Keystone that they achieve this new evolved form.” So then I thought, “Well, the connection between Ash and Mewtwo is pretty strong, after their meetings in the first movie and in Mewtwo Returns, so maybe they find the stones and Mewtwo evolves that way?”…And then the prequel special happened, where it was revealed that Mewtwo just had the ability on its own to do this. Also, since the release of the movie, it has been revealed this is NOT the same Mewtwo. As a matter of fact, Mewtwo is actually voiced by a woman in this movie.

… … …Writers, animators, editors, whoever works on the movies and/or the anime. You had this AMAZING story just BEGGING to be written, where Mewtwo reaches that point where it knows it can trust humans, and upon doing so, discovers this whole new power that it never knew existed. You had this story that would’ve connected all the way back to the first movie and actually helped to make that raped-me-in-the-ass reset button ending WORK. But you didn’t, when it was easy, because you don’t care enough to do so, and if you don’t care, why the hell should the audience care? Why should I ever give a flying fuck about a show that never changes, never shows the characters grow, and never lets them enjoy any kind of achievement? And before ANYONE says Orange Islands or Battle Frontier, those stories and how those accomplishments played out were clearly tailored to let Ash win without actually becoming ANYTHING more, and then IMMEDIATELY, on both occasions, saw him get smacked back down by a guy he, by all rights, surpassed LONG AGO. And if your concern is that letting Ash grow up and become a Master might alienate your primary demographic, that being kids, might I recommend you read the manga and see how they handle it there.

Lemme bring up an alternative to this: Pokémon Origins. Now, the English dub isn’t out yet, and despite some fears of what they do with the English dub, I still plan to see it, but just from watching the four episodes in their original format, I can tell you that those four episodes are better than what we’ve gotten out of the past four seasons of the main anime. Now, it has the same curse as the anime has, in that it’s pretty much an advertisement for the games. Pretty sure that’s the sole reason for including Mega Charizard X. Where it’s different…well, first off, it’s for fans of the original games, so it’s clearly tailored towards a slightly older audience, while still being just tame enough that kids can watch it. Second, you can tell that the people who worked on it actually…what’s the word…? Oh yeah, gave a shit. They WANTED this to be good. Third, Red actually BEATS the Elite Four, becomes champ, and completes the PokéDex…well, the Kanto Regional PokéDex, anyway. He’s gonna be PISSED when he finds out there’s another hundred Pokémon just a little bit west of him. lol Oh, and while the animation is still good and keeps up with stuff you see nowadays, it isn’t SO bright and flashy that it gives me a headache, unlike THAT OTHER SHOW.

So yeah, sorry to disappoint, but I’m officially DONE with the Pokémon anime, at least how it is now. It sucks beyond redemption. It sucks beyond the ability to be fixed with the current team working it. I’m just DONE with it, and until something is done to fix it, which will not happen without anything short of a fucking miracle, that is my final word on the subject. Bottom line, if you want a great story involving the characters from the Pokémon games, read the manga, watch Pokémon Origins, hell, even some fanfics out there handle the characters better than the show does nowadays. In fact, I think I WILL go re-watch Pokémon Origins now, just for fun, and just ‘cuz I’m sick of complaining about the anime. Ja né!

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