Tales of Dumbassery – “To Attempt To Have Intercourse With A Hornet’s Nest Is A Very Bad Idea”
Well, this week, PinkRangerWannabe went out on the world-wide interweb, found a horrible story, and brought it back here for a little segment I like to call…
And yes, I actually have a reason for parodying the intro to WTFIWWY?, for if today’s story was on that show, this would be the part where Tara would say “THAT DOESN’T GO THERE!” Now, before we get into this story, I want to make it clear that I’m not generally the type to find amusement in death, regardless of person or cause. Death is tragic and should not be taken so lightly. So I don’t want anyone to think I find the fact that this person died funny. Rather, I simply want to call into question the intelligence level on this man who did this…
Today, it was announced by the International Business Times that a man in Sweden had died after being stung to death by hornets…because, according to the autopsy and evidence left behind, he was attempting to have sex with the hornet’s nest. No, I do not have photos. And no, I do not know if any exist, because I don’t want to know. Apparently the 35-year-old had been stung so badly (reportedly 146 times) that when his neighbour found him, he was so swollen that his neighbour thought he was a whale carcass. Again, not making fun. That is what was actually reported. Oh, but here’s the kicker, folks: A psychologist and expert on sex fantasies, Siv During Livh, told the news site…
“To Attempt To Have Intercourse With A Hornet’s Nest Is A Very Bad Idea.” NAWWWW! And here I thought maybe sticking one’s dick in a hornet’s nest would open the door to Kingdom Hearts! I don’t know what’s dumber, the fact that this person actually made that statement like most rational thinking people wouldn’t already know that, or that apparently there is a fetish for that. And I know, there’s some freaky fetishes out there, but this has to be one of the dumbest that ANYONE could have, because unless your intent is to die, it’s not gonna fucking work!
Oh, and this is REALLY good. Apparently the neighbour reported that he’d never seen a pelvic bone so swollen in his entire life…Um, I’m sorry, but there is no way to hear that sentence and not want to immediately ask the obvious question, “How many swollen pelvic bones have you seen in your life?”.
Believe it or not, folks, I’m trying SO hard not to make fun of this man, but it’s kinda hard when THIS was the exact conversation Pink and I had when she brought this up…
PinkRangerWannabe: Give the man a Darwin award.
Jyger85: ………………………………………………….What the heck? o.O
Anyway, I’m sorry if I crossed some lines with this story, but I honestly am just not sure what to make of this one. Hit me back with your own thoughts, and hopefully we won’t have a story quite this idiotic again in a long time. Ja né!
Posted on May 15, 2013, in Tales of Dumbassery and tagged Death, dumbass, Fetish, International Business Times, Nash, PinkRangerWannabe, Sexual intercourse, Sexuality, Sweden, Tales of Dumbassery, WTFIWWY?. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.
“…hopefully we won’t have a story quite this idiotic again in a long time.”
Dude, this is the human species you’re talking about.
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