RIP Atari + Atari Celebrity Roast? o.O

Well, word went public today that Atari, one of the longest lasting names in video game history, has filed for bankruptcy. And I feel really sad about that, I remember my first video game console was an Atari. And yes, I had E.T., and no, I didn’t have it mailed away to be buried in some landfill that we’re gonna see this summer if it existed or not in the Angry Video Game Nerd movie. Point is, I know a lot of people are likely grieving over the loss of Atari after so many years of it managing to stay in the game, so to help tide over the feeling of sadness and despair, here are some of my Atari jokes that will likely stop being as funny (though still as corny) when Atari does go all the way bankrupt.

How do you know you need to toss out an electronic device in your house? If it’s an Atari Jaguar.

What would one call a port of Jumping Jack to the Atari Jaguar CD? Jumping Jack Flush.

How many good games were there for the Lynx? No one knows, we were all playing the Gameboy…or in some cases the Game Gear, ‘cuz let’s face it, Sonic the Hedgehog in the palm of your hand, know what I mean?

How do you know with 100% certainty your car needs to go to the shop? The Atari Jaguar CD started working before the car did.

If you and your significant other aren’t connecting well, what have you become? The wires in the Atari Jaguar CD.

How did Atari think the world would end last year? Asteroids.

How many technicians does it take to fix an Atari Jaguar CD? None, they tried and then they quit and turned to drugs and alcohol.

…Okay, I’m done. Hope my horrible jokes helped ease the pain of Atari’s passing. Ja né!

RIP ATARI
1972 – 2013